Vampire Manual

"Pata...turned into a bat?" Qi Qi was very dizzy, and his face wrinkled into a pea that didn't bloom, "You think you are talking about midnight ghost stories!"

"Fuck, see for yourself..." While speaking, Liu Ting had already pulled Qi Qi into the bathroom, and then he slid down against the tiles on the wall, panting heavily, "By the way, close the door and don't let him Ran."

Qi Qi closed the door casually, then narrowed his eyes and tried to look around.The bathroom in Liu Ting's house is very large, divided into two parts: the Wugu reincarnation area and the bathing area. Qi Qi looked and walked, searching the toilet, bathtub, and various corners, and even found the Switzerland that Liu Ting lost half a year ago. Tables, just no bats.But it can't be regarded as a complete failure, because the clothes piled up next to the bathtub are clearly those that Liu Ting lent to Pata to wear.

"The clothes are here, but the person is gone." Qi Qi also felt tired, and he would feel weak after drinking too much, so he simply sat on the toilet seat and looked at Liu Ting from a distance.

"That's right, he transforms himself, but the clothes don't change with him." The more Liu Ting thought about it, the more he felt that he was really smart.

"The problem is other people."

"It must be here, no matter how good you are..."

"Liu Ting, don't move!"

"Ok?"

"If I'm not mistaken, it's sitting on top of your head."

"Patta?"

"No, bat."

I saw a group of furry things looming in Liu Ting's thick hair, dark brown, the size of a fist, unable to see the head and face, just curled up quietly, motionless.

"Fuck, use my head as a bird's nest!"

The word obedient does not exist in Liu Ting's dictionary at all, so he reached out to grab it in the next second.However, there are no eyes on the top of the head, and the drunken hand is not accurate, and I don't know where the other party hurts, so I heard a scream of "吱——", and the little bat flew up with great speed. The speed began to scurry in the bathroom, and the sound of patter was endless.

Qi Qi didn't blink, watching the little bat hit the mirror for a while, the window for a while, and Liu Ting's face for a while, a little convinced that it was Pata - it's a truth that you get dizzy after drinking too much, Regardless of the subject's creature type.

In view of the terrible collision with Pata, Liu Ting and Qi Qi couldn't stand it anymore. After discussing it, they decided to arrest him first, appease him, and then make plans.

But are bats so easy to catch?Concubine Xiang fluttered like a butterfly, Liu Ting and Qi Qi were as tired as grandsons, and Pata was still flying freely.Liu Ting was the first to raise his hands in surrender, saying that he had no strength left.Qi Qi lasted a minute longer than him, but was also defeated.The two of them lay limp on the ground with their shoulders leaning against each other, remembering the gauze net bag they used to catch dragonflies when they were young.

Later, when the two of them chatted and chatted, the spirit of drinking was completely up, regardless of whether the land boundary was suitable or not, they just closed their eyes and went to find Zhou Gong.

The next morning.

Liu Ting woke up from the horror of "ghost pressing the bed".At first he wanted to turn over, but he couldn't do it after wriggling for a long time, and then he wanted to lift the quilt, but when he stretched out his hand, he touched a lump of flesh, which made him wake up with a groan.

Qi Qi was sleeping soundly at first, but he was dreaming of eating plum cake, but suddenly he was ravaged by the claws of the sky for a long time on his face, and then the claws screamed piercingly as if frightened, even Qi Qi's sleep quality could not hold back the melatonin , so unwillingly, he opened his eyes.

Pata never dreams when he sleeps, and he hardly has any perception, so when he was overturned as the top layer of the "Arhat" and fell to the ground, he just woke up slowly, and after confirming that Qi Qi and Liu Ting were by his side, half With ignorant eyes open, he asked, "Why do we sleep on the ground?"

Yes, why?Still on the toilet floor.

Liu Ting and Qi Qi looked at each other in blank dismay, apart from seeing the same headache expression on each other's faces, there was nothing else.

The three of them faced each other silently for 5 minutes, and Liu Ting discovered another problem.

"Pata, do you like to sleep naked?"

"Ah?" Pata was stunned, and subconsciously touched his beautiful pectoral muscles, abdominal muscles, and biceps, and was also confused, "Yeah, where are my clothes?"

"Shut up, both of you!" Qi Qi stopped the two hundred and five, always feeling that something was about to come out of his head, but what was it?Otherwise, people always say that wine is a gut-piercing poison, and this greedy drinking is really bad.

Hey, here we come.Gauze bag... Xiangfei catching butterflies... Bird's nest... Clothes all over the floor... Sick bats... Bats... Bats?Oh yes.

Qi Qi finally remembered: "Pata, you turned into a bat last night."

Pata tilted her head, unable to react for a long time.On the contrary, Liu Ting was clear about it, and then protested to Qi Qi: "Damn, you have to match your expression when you say this, do you understand the expression!" After speaking, he turned to Pata, grabbed the other's shoulder with both hands, and suddenly shook violently, " How the hell can you turn into a bat-"

Qi Qi's black line, it can be seen that this matter has a great impact on Liu Ting.

Pata was shaken enough: "Liu, slow down, slow down, I'm dizzy..."

Liu Ting was almost done venting, so he just gave up.Then he narrowed his eyes and looked at Pata for a long time, and decided to dress the "enemy" first, and then torture him to extract a confession.

It's a pity that Pata was very cooperative. After getting dressed, he asked questions and answered them. Even Qi Qi and Liu Ting reported everything to the organization without asking questions.But to Qi Qi and Liu Ting, those "truths" sounded like a Hollywood fantasy movie.

"My family is a very special family. My parents are not normal humans. Well, they are vampires. I am too, from birth, but it is strange. Only me and my mother can turn into bats in the family. My father No, although he is also a vampire. But he can predict the weather, which is much more accurate than the weather forecast. Oh, I also forgot to introduce my ancestors to you. I heard from my grandmother that our ancestors made a contract with the devil. The devil To ensure that our family will continue to prosper for generations, the price is that we can only live by drinking blood forever, and it must be human blood. I have secretly drank wolf blood before, and ended up lying on the bed for half a month... But please rest assured, I will never hurt you, although my father liked the blood of beautiful girls when he was young, but because my mother is a vegetarian, they never sucked the blood of living people after they got married..."

"Raise your hand, I have a question." Qi Qi interrupted suddenly.

Pata blinked her eyelashes: "Please."

"What is vegetarianism?"

"Uh, instead of drinking human blood, drink a fluorocarbon emulsion that can replace blood. It's a bit like artificial blood in medicine, but at the same time, it adds some nutrients suitable for our physique. Dad said that the taste is not as good as fresh blood. , but after I came to China, I also drank the blood from the blood bank, and I always felt that the taste was similar. Anyway, people in our family drink this. Mint said that this is called vegetarian, isn’t it?”

Right or wrong, Qi Qi and Liu Ting couldn't judge.There is only one point that they deeply feel—how can there be such a big gap in the level of scientific and technological development between the East and the West!

"I'm sorry," Pata said suddenly, lowering her head, "I lied to you."

"Cough, it's nothing..." Liu Ting silently turned his head to look at the toilet.

"Actually, I wanted to tell you several times, but Mint didn't let me. He said that if I told you the truth, there would only be two results. The first one is that you don't believe me, and then you will laugh at me. If I tell you the truth, it's okay." It’s better not to say it. The second is that you believe it, and then I will be arrested for research, and if you say it, it is tantamount to harming yourself.”

"We're not madmen..." Qi Qi muttered.

Before Qi Qi finished speaking, Pata suddenly stood up and bowed deeply: "I'm really sorry!"

"Yes, I dare to go to Japan." Liu Ting said blackly, and quickly pulled the guy who bowed at ninety degrees to sit next to him.

"Don't say you're sorry." Qi Qi finally spoke out his Liu Ting's heartfelt feelings, "We can die of guilt in such a situation."

Pata didn't understand: "Why?"

Liu Ting sighed and completed for Qi Qi: "Because we are the same kind."

Quiet, winding like a vine.

Pata's eyes were wide open, as if he could see suddenly.

Liu Ting and Qi Qi didn't dare to vent their anger, waiting for Pata's reaction.

Finally, Pata's lips moved slightly, and he murmured softly: "How is it possible?"

Liu Ting raised his eyebrows, although the other party couldn't see: "How is it impossible?"

Pata tilted his head, solemnly: "Where's the evidence?"

Liu Ting is stupid. What he has done the most in his long life is how to make people believe that they are also human beings. Who would have thought that one day it would be the other way around!

"Can you turn into bats too?"

"It's not Monkey King..."

"Can you fly?"

"He can run."

"Have superpowers?"

"You can dig and try..."

"Which branch are your ancestors from?"

"..."

"Is there an alliance clan emblem?"

"..."

"If we combine with humans, what are the probabilities of giving birth to vampires and humans?"

"..."

Liu Ting turned to look at Qi Qi in a daze: "Am I participating in the Happy Dictionary?"

Qi Qi felt that he was too optimistic: "That will at least give you three alternative answers, and at critical moments, you can remove a wrong one or ask the audience outside the venue for help."

So the conclusion came out.

Liu Ting kept patting his thigh, as if he really knew himself today: "So I'm not a vampire!"

Qi Qi wants to kick him into outer space as a national football team.

Pata pouted: "Sure enough, you are lying to me."

Qi Qi was given a splitting headache by these two kids, and with a hangover, he wanted to die.

It seemed that the toilet was being flushed upstairs, and the water flowed through the thick sewer pipe, making a splashing sound, and instantly lit up the light bulb in Qi Qi's head.

So he slapped the ground and announced: "It's a fight, Liu Ting, you go get the knife."

Liu Ting was startled: "If Pata doesn't believe me, let's just persuade and educate him, so we don't need to use a knife."

Qi Qi really wanted to dig open the opponent's head to see what the barrenness inside was like: "You are asked to use the knife to scratch your arm. Pata can't see it, but you can always feel it. Normal people's wounds don't heal so fast."

Liu Ting thought for a while, and he understood a little bit, but there was still one question he had to implement: "Whose arm was scratched?"

"What do you think?" Vampires also have different speeds of wound healing, like him it is very slow, on the contrary Liu Ting is very fast.

Liu Ting nodded tragically, expressing his understanding, and reminded Qi Qi: "The next time you speak completely, you will throw me out."

The next thing was logical, although Liu Ting suffered - vampires also know pain, but at least Pata believed it completely.Firstly, Liu Ting’s wound healed really fast. Although Pata couldn’t see it, he could touch it all the time and felt the skin was rapidly recombining. Secondly, the blood breath of vampires and humans was completely different—vampire’s blood was also red, but There is no fragrance of human blood, replaced by a faint smell of decay, like the smell of old books that are yellowed and damp.

The recognition of the same kind made Pata very excited. After changing the loneliness before, the whole person was like just pouring a big bucket of Sprite, shining brightly and chilling: "OHMYGOD, this is incredible. I never thought it would be Met vampires in China, oh my god, how can there be vampires in China. I can't wait to tell my parents, oh, and mint, but he won't believe it unless he sees it with his own eyes...”

"Calm down, calm down," Liu Ting grabbed Patahu's scratching paw, trying to explain all this in a way that the other party could understand, "There's nothing incredible, it's all God's arrangement."

Pata smiled brightly, and suddenly leaned forward and kissed Liu Ting's cheek, perhaps half-rolling his eyes, anyway, he couldn't see it, purely by feeling: "Ilikeyou!"

After finishing speaking, he was going to look for Qi Qi again, and Qi Qi's enthusiasm like the sun directly pushed him to the corner: "Liu Ting, hurry up, don't let him come over!"

Pata pouted, hurt.

Liu Ting was even more injured. Seeing that Pata was not so impulsive, he wiped off the saliva on his face with one free hand, and said persuasively, "Honey, reserve is a kind of beauty, especially in China."

Pata pitifully: "But I like you."

Liu Ting nodded hurriedly: "I understand, I understand, just keep it in your heart."

"Keep it in your heart, how do you know?"

"..."

"It doesn't make sense if you don't know?"

"..."

"It's hard for you Orientals to understand."

Liu Ting began to think about whether to kiss back, for nothing else, it was worth it just to buy a break.