The rebirth of the Republic of China

My name is Zhao Rui.

My life started in a Sichuan city called Miancheng, where the deep-rooted traditions are hidden under the prosperity, and the family with the surname Zhao is an enviable existence in Miancheng.

Yes, my family is enviable.

From a very young age, I knew that my family was different from others. The first thing my father showed when he saw me was usually not the kindness or strictness when he saw the eldest son of the family, but made me Incomprehensible guilt.This kind of guilt has been accompanied by my childhood, and it has been lingering in my mind since I can remember.

I am not stupid, on the contrary, because I want my father to pay attention, I work very hard on my homework.But as time went by, instead of getting my father's appreciation for this kind of hard work, my father's eyes became more and more guilty.I was puzzled, but I was young at that time, and I forgot it in a blink of an eye, and then I worked hard day and night, but in the end I found that what I did was nothing more than a laughing stock.

The guilt in my father's eyes is not for me, let alone my mother, but for Mrs. Zhao, who lives a happy life.Back then, because Mrs. Zhao was infertile, my father married my mother and gave birth to me. For this matter, my father has always felt guilty. Whenever he saw me, he would feel guilty involuntarily. Children can feel it.

My mother, the traditional woman who is as gentle as water and her husband is the sky, is just a tool for my father to marry under the pressure of the family to continue the blood of the Zhao family. The only thing my father really cares about is the wife who is the main wife of the Zhao family. It's not bad, but it's never just taken care of as a responsibility.In my few memories, my father has never been alone with my mother. Except for giving orders or when he came to visit me, my father rarely set foot in this yard.

I finally realized this, and began to observe intentionally or unconsciously that my father is very kind to my younger brother, and that kind of kindness is what a father should show. Every Chinese New Year, when the family is together, my mother and I are just like an outsider.

I took Zhao as my surname, but I lost my true nature because of it.

I don't like Zhao Jiaxing, and I don't like Mrs. Zhengfang who seems to be able to see through some things. I don't like my father, but I also don't like my mother who puts all her thoughts on me.

Zhao Jiaxing is actually a very good younger brother. Of course, the premise of this goodness is that I was able to get close to him when I was young.Zhao Jiaxing was very cute when he was a child, he looked like a young adult, he was also very smart, he was very stable at a young age, and he was very reassuring in his work.

Maybe it's because of such a mother, Zhao Jiaxing has deep thoughts, but he is very kind to those who care about him. I also know that my mother is not as good as Mrs. Zhao, but I don't want to admit it. After all, Mrs. Zhao is not affectionate to me. Sometimes it's just passable, no matter how bad my mother is, it's for my sake.

My relationship with Zhao Jiaxing was before I went to school. At that time, my relationship with Zhao Jiaxing was not as tense as it was later. As the heir of the Zhao family, he had many channels to find good things, but he was a thorough A businessman who is not very fond of literary and ink historical books, whenever he finds these, he will bring them to me, and if he has time, he will drink a pot of tea with me.

Zhao Jiaxing and I have a harmonious relationship, and Mrs. Zhao has never stopped me. She still looks cold when we meet. This woman is very proud. My mother destroyed her family. Although my mother was not willing at first, this is indelible. What's more, in the past few years, my mother has done some bad things behind my back, but it hasn't been brought up yet.

That day, I was reading a book in my room. The book was an old textbook used by the school a few years ago. I borrowed it from someone else and planned to read it before going to school. When I was absorbed in reading it, there was an eager knock on the door. , the little maid serving in the yard opened the door and entered the room before I could speak, and then said under my suspicious gaze: The second young master led someone into the yard just now and went straight to the aunt's house, and I'm afraid he has arrived now place.

I was startled, dropped the book and rushed to my mother's room. It wasn't until I saw my mother Zhao Jiaxing glaring at her, but my mother fell to the ground, that I really realized how serious the matter was. The second young master is a deep-minded and patient master?But he did such a thing today, and the expression on his face did not seem to be fake.

I stepped forward to help my mother up, and my mother looked better after panting for a long time, and pointed at Zhao Jiaxing tremblingly with her hand, as if she would faint in the next moment, yes, Zhao Jiaxing is a junior after all, so in front of the servants She has no face, and everyone will be angry.

Zhao Jiaxing sneered, and didn't look at his mother any more. He turned around and sat down on a chair in the room, and said, "Auntie is really forgetful. It's only been a few days, and you've already forgotten what you did earlier?" Said At this point, he looked up at me again, and then said, "It just so happens that Yongshu is here, and your old man also told me what you did? Let your son comment too?"

I turned my head and looked at my mother suspiciously. Just now I clearly felt my mother's body stiffen.

I suddenly had a bad premonition, and my heart tightened: "Mom?"

Mother stared at Zhao Jiaxing, and then turned to look at me after a while, and asked, "Rui'er, don't you believe mother?"

I was terrified in my heart, I didn't understand what my mother meant, but I could only follow her words, and I forced a smile: "How come, mother, what happened?"

The mother snorted and said, "What could happen? Didn't our second young master get angry and lose his temper? What's the matter with me, Ma'am? It's not like you don't know that I haven't even been out of this yard in the past two years, Ma'am The second young master actually came to me when something happened, and he did it without even saying a word. Although your mother and I are not the ones on the cards, at least I can be regarded as his elders. If I don’t make it clear today, the second young master, we are not for a long time. It really makes you bully..."

"Mom!" I frowned, and my mother's words became more and more unreliable, "Go in and rest first, I'll talk to my second brother."

My mother also wanted to say that I hurriedly grabbed her, but she was not very happy, but she let go of my words and prepared to leave, but I didn't expect Zhao Jiaxing to disagree. I don't know when he stood up and saw that my mother was about to leave. Then he stretched out his hand to stop him: "Auntie, I'd better stay here for a while and explain the matter clearly. You haven't answered the question I asked you just now."

"Second brother." I looked at Zhao Jiaxing, "Mother—"

"Brother, you don't need to say more." Zhao Jiaxing interrupted me directly, "I just came here today to find an explanation, and if I don't explain it clearly today, I won't agree."

"Second brother, mother is an elder after all, you..."

"Brother." Zhao Jiaxing looked at me again, and asked in an unclear manner, "If my aunt was drugged, and the person who gave the drug was my mother, you would ignore it because my mother is an elder, and even say something Don't ask for it? Anyway, I can't do it!"

I couldn't answer, and at the same time, there was a storm in my heart. I always knew what my mother did was dishonest, but I never thought she would dare to do it!Mother is a traditional person. After having a husband, she hopes to be favored. In her eyes, there is no such thing as love or not love. If she married another person, she would fight for the favor of another person. Ben nothing.However, she didn't know that my father had feelings for Mrs. Zhao that she couldn't understand. If such feelings were sincere, they wouldn't be transferred with other things.

Seeing that I didn't speak, Zhao Jiaxing sneered, looked at his mother again, and was about to continue, when he saw another person broke into the yard, with hurried steps, and after seeing Zhao Jiaxing, he quickly ran up to him, panting: "Second young master, the master let you go, madam, madam, she..."

Zhao Jiaxing grabbed him: "What happened to mother?!"

Seeing that Zhao Jiaxing was in such a hurry, the man took a quick breath and said: "Madam is awake, the master told the second young master to go over quickly, Madam wants to see you."

I don't know if I want to thank Mrs. Zhao for waking up at the right time. After hearing what the man said, Zhao Jiaxing didn't intend to continue making trouble here. He gave my mother a cold look and took her away.

Later I found out that Zhao Jiaxing wanted to eat rock sugar pears on a whim that day. It happened that the mother and son of the Zhao family liked sweets, so they asked the kitchen to make some. Zhao Jiaxing personally sent them to Mrs. Zhao. Mother likes to give her own share, but she didn't expect that there is medicine in his share.

This is a common method in rich families, but my mother rarely uses it. Mrs. Zhao's intelligence is rarely comparable to that of women. She has never used it, but this time she used it. , Mrs. Zhao ate that thing, and the medicinal properties in it lost the medicinal properties of Zhao Jiaxing's body. Although the attack was much lighter, he was rescued by the doctor soon.

After knowing this, I was so cold in my heart that I went to my father regardless, and I did everything I could think of, but I still couldn't save the end of the matter. After being severely punished by my father, my mother was locked up for a reason. Her health also collapsed, and no one went to see her except me, and she died of illness within a year.

After this incident, I became more and more uncomfortable in this family. I spent the rest of the time in school hiding in the room alone and reading, and I didn’t like to chat with others. Under my deliberate alienation, Zhao Jiaxing, who originally wanted to make up the relationship, was also indifferent. We got in touch, and later even became so unfamiliar that even if we met, we never said hello again.

This is relief, but it is also punishment. Sometimes I think, if I hadn't gone to school to accept new ideas, I might have lived my life in such a mediocre way, and I might have reconciled with Zhao Jiaxing, but I would never return to the previous relationship.

After all, my mother's death was indirectly related to them. Although my mother caused this result, she was my mother after all. No matter how bad she was, she was thinking of me. She just measured my happiness with her understanding, that's all.

This is what I came up with later. My mother was so anxious to get rid of Zhao Jiaxing that time, but it was because she knew that I was going to leave home and thought that I was forced to leave. She thought that if Zhao Jiaxing, the heir of the Zhao family, If I die, then I can justifiably stay.

I think of myself when I was young. At that time, although I really didn't want to fight for the family property, I really left because I felt that the family was too depressing. I couldn't bear it, and felt that I was buried and misunderstood.

After what happened to my mother, although I knew intellectually that no one else could be blamed for what happened to my mother, emotionally I couldn't help feeling resentful towards the Zhao family.What I thought at the time was: If I return from my studies and become famous, will my mother be able to fulfill her life’s wish and bury the Zhao family’s ancestor’s grave, and wait for my father to go to Huangquan together after a hundred years.

The days passed, and as the end of summer approached, the day finally arrived for me to leave home for school.