Xu Fuji

morning.

After Lang Xiaogong finished his breakfast, he took a look at the red and festive Pisces clock hanging on the wall, it was exactly seven o'clock.Go to the bed and push Xu Xiaoshou who was wrapped in the quilt: "Get up quickly, you have to leave early today."

Xu Xiaoshou shrank back under the quilt.

"Your school raised the flag this morning, don't be late."

Xu Xiaoshou shrank back under the quilt again.

"Hurry up, I'm leaving first, I'll probably be back at noon."

Xu Xiaoshou continued to shrink under the quilt.

"Then I'm leaving, get up quickly."

Xu Xiaoshou simply shrank into the quilt to put dried shrimps.

Lang Xiaogong got up, put on his coat and shoes, took the keys, opened and closed the door, and drove away.

Shrimp remained motionless.

noon.

Lang Xiaogong was rushing back to City S, the secretary was dutifully holding a folder to report on his work, then the phone came, Lang Xiaogong answered the phone, and then the secretary shut up wisely.

"Didn't I tell you to wake me up this morning?!" The voice on the phone was so loud that even the little secretary could hear him. He looked down at the documents and pretended to be innocent, with his ears pricked up.

Lang Xiaogong said firmly, "I called you."

"Wake me up, wake me up, do you know? Do you know what 'wake up' is?"

"Ah."

"Isn't it the same as not calling if you didn't wake me up? Do you know that I am late? Do you know that the flag is raised today?"

"Ah."

"Do you know that all the teachers and students in the school are standing on the playground? The principal is lecturing right in front of you, do you know that?"

"Ah."

"I didn't even dare to enter the gate. I didn't sneak in until they were done. I'm so embarrassed today, don't you know?!"

"Ah."

"Uh, what, uh, you're constipated!" Pa, the phone hung up.

Lang Xiaogong casually called back, and said calmly, "Have you had breakfast?"

"What to eat!" Xu Xiaoshou was still angry.

"Have you had lunch?"

"I didn't eat."

"Then you wait for me." Lang Xiaogong looked at his watch, "I will pick you up at the door in half an hour."

"Don't go!"

"Iron pot stewed fish, big ribs."

"...don't eat..."

Lang Xiaogong smiled, and said: "If you don't eat, your stomach will hurt, that's it, see you at the door in half an hour, don't come out too early, it's very cold outside."

night.

Xu Xiaoshou had a hearty meal at noon, and after talking with his colleagues in the office in the afternoon, he felt hungry again.Back home, as soon as he took off his shoes, he threw himself on the sofa and started whining.

Lang Xiaogong poked his head out from the kitchen: "Wash your hands, and make some soup, it will be ready soon."

Xu Xiaoshou snorted, pretending he didn't hear it.

Lang Xiaogong made seaweed and egg soup, came over and called him: "Do you want to eat? It will be cold in a while."

Xu Xiaoshou raised his jaw and said, "Cut—" wrinkling his nose and curling his lips to express his disdain.

Lang Xiaogong smiled: "Are you still angry about what happened in the morning?"

Xu Xiaoshou yelled: "I'm ashamed, do you know that?"

Lang Xiaogong nodded: "Yes, yes. Are you still eating?"

"Eat." Xu Xiaoshou glared, "Why don't you eat, I'm starving to death."

At the dinner table, Xu Xiaoshou was extremely picky, saying that the soup was too salty, that the prawns hadn’t been headed, that the preserved eggs were cut too big, and that the steamed buns were cold...

Lang Xiaogong smiled and nodded in a good temper: "Yeah."

The next morning.

Xu Xiaoshou was counting banknotes in his dream, or US dollars. While counting, he felt that it was getting hotter and hotter. The bank's central air conditioner is also very good, and the heat sprayed on his face. Could it be that he was too excited?Hey, why is it still raining?The rain is pouring on my face, neck, shoulders, chest, stomach,...

Xu Xiaoshou woke up.

As soon as he woke up, he saw Lang Xiaogong lying on his body and gnawed, and immediately panicked: "Damn it, what are you going to do if you don't sleep in the middle of the night?"

Lang Xiaogong replied vaguely: "Wake you up."

"You wake me up in the middle of the night?!"

"In order not to be late."

"You're late, the flag will not be raised today."

Lang Xiaogong raised his head and smiled: "It's not good to be late for work." He lowered his head and continued, licking and sucking while applying lubricant.

Xu Xiaoshou was really excited this time, trembling, wriggling, and speaking softly: "Lang Zening...you bastard... ah... lighten... ah... yell, you can use it to wake me up No...ah...that's it..."

Lang Xiaogong separated Xu Xiaoshou's thigh, and stabbed it in hard: "I can't wake you up if I don't." Suddenly pushing forward, Xu Xiaoshou screamed, blushing and panting.Lang Xiaogong squinted his eyes and met Xu Xiaoshou's bewildered gaze: "If you scream, you have to wake up!"

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

The first day Xu Chunfeng saw Lang Zening, he took off his pants—er, no, almost took off his pants.

When he first entered the university, Xu Chunfeng was full of vigor and enthusiasm, with his head held high and his chest held high.It's no wonder that he got two liberal arts exams in his high school, and the other was a girl who went to Dalian University of Foreign Languages ​​to learn French. He was the only one who entered the provincial capital and was a teacher.

Being a teacher means having subsidies, which means paying less tuition fees, and means being able to assign jobs in the future.What's more, it is one of the only two in the liberal arts at my alma mater.

Therefore, Xu Chunfeng is absolutely justified in being full of ambition and fighting spirit.

It's a pity that this momentum was suppressed right after school started.

The reason is that this department is not very good, to be precise, it is not very good for him.

The counselor is a woman, short, with short hair, fine eyes and a shrunken mouth, shrewd and capable in her bones.As soon as I came up, I came up with a good idea for the [-] students in these four classes. They went to climb the mountain together, got to know each other and bonded with each other during the activity.

As a result, the autumn wind was brisk, the sun was rising, the sky was high and the clouds were clear, a group of women's soldiers scrambled forward on the small green and gray soil bags.

Among the 87 new students, there are [-] men, one of them is Xu Chunfeng, and the other [-] are girls.Xu Chunfeng crawled halfway, and when he looked up, he saw the long hair fluttering in front of him, his slender waist and slender legs, and when he turned his head, he saw a piece of melon with big mouth, big eyes, small crooked melons and cracked dates, and suddenly the wind was messy.

Just when he was struggling to advance and retreat, a figure suddenly rushed over from below and stopped right next to him. A big man waved his arms and shouted: "Students, the top of the mountain is ahead, let's speed up and charge with all our strength—! "He also clenched his fists and waved his arms in a passionate gesture, making everyone embarrassed.He strode forward, went straight forward, and disappeared in a flash.

He shouted that it doesn't matter, which frightened the hesitant Xu Chunfeng.Hearing such inspiring slogans again, his body trembled and he staggered and was about to fall.It was too late to say it, but Xu Chunfeng had a bright mind and quick reaction, and he grabbed a certain pillar in front of him with a single grasp, thus avoiding the incest tragedy of kissing Mother Earth.

Xu Chunfeng was still in shock, and just about to breathe a sigh of relief, he suddenly heard the pillar say: "Hey, let me tell you, don't take off my pants?"

As soon as Xu Chunfeng raised his head, he realized that his two paws were holding onto the man's trousers, and it was at the buttocks, his movements were quite obscene.Xu Chunfeng was a shy person, he immediately withdrew his hand like an electric shock, blushed, nodded repeatedly and said, "I'm sorry, I didn't see it."

Lang Zening looked down at the new classmate in front of him with a half-cut grass pole in his mouth. Xu Chunfeng, who was wearing a baggy sportswear, looked thin and small. He nodded desperately to apologize, with a look of embarrassment.Lang Zening took a closer look at the dress. There was a large and eye-catching sign on the chest: adidass, with four thin white stripes on one side of the sleeve.Lang Zening was overjoyed with a snort. He had seen imitations, but he had never seen such fake ones.As soon as he was happy, he relaxed, and as soon as he relaxed, he said smoothly: "Dude, you don't need to be hungry and thirsty here." Right after he finished speaking, he felt a little regretful, and he didn't want to say any more, so he turned and walked away.

Xu Chunfeng got angry as soon as he heard this, but he didn't get angry immediately at that time, and he still felt guilty all the time. He didn't realize it until the man had disappeared. Damn, what did the calf say, what is it called hunger and thirst? ?Then the scene just now was played out in front of my eyes again like a movie, and Xu Chunfeng became more and more breathless the more he watched it.How did that man talk? ——"Don't take off my pants?"

Xu Chunfeng is very sensitive to tone of voice.What the person said wasn't "Don't take off my pants." That was surprised; or "Don't take off my pants." That was angry; or "Don't take off my pants." That was a little weak.What the man said was: Don't take off my pants.Listen, no matter how you listen to this, there is a bit of banter and ridicule, as if everyone sees that you are about to make a mistake, they have to tell you, and after you really make a mistake, they will slowly remind you: Don't do this.It was this casual and calm attitude that made Xu Chunfeng very angry. He didn't take it seriously so casually, how guilty was he?

Also, what else did he say?Hunger and thirst don't need to be here?Damn, I'm hungry and thirsty to take your pants off?If you want to pick it up, you have to be a beautiful woman, okay?Is there a fart for picking you up?Thinking of putting his hands on that man's butt, Xu Chunfeng couldn't help feeling chills, grabbed two handfuls of soil and rubbed them vigorously to disinfect them!

When everyone reached the top of the mountain, each class sat in a circle, a total of four circles, like a child playing with a handkerchief.The counselor is like an auntie in a kindergarten, saying in a persuasive manner: "Everyone take a break, and take turns standing in the circle and introducing yourself, both in Chinese and English, please be more active."

Xu Chunfeng has always listened to the teacher's words, and has always been a good baby, not to mention that everyone is meeting for the first time, and there are so many "beauties", uh, in short, they are women, so they have to behave well.Quickly frowning and squinting to compose words: Well, my name is Xu Chunfeng.Hmm... It's a pleasure to be here with you all... He was thinking hard, when he saw a tall girl standing in the middle of the circle, and said crisply: "HELLO EVERYONE." Jumping in English is like a small hailstorm instead of rain in the sky. A burst of indiscriminate bombardment immediately stunned Xu Chunfeng.

What is Xu Chunfeng most afraid of in his life?English.What do you hate the most in your life?English.What do you hate most in your life?Still English.But what department is he studying now?Thanks to his mother, it's still English.

How Xu Chunfeng got involved in the English Department, we will talk about it later.Just now, as soon as Annie sat down, the beautiful woman next to her stood up, and she was still talking English.The speech was fluent and the pronunciation was standard. Xu Chunfeng's waist, which was sitting upright, bent involuntarily.Then the third beauty stood up, and Xu Chunfeng's head was almost in his crotch. When the No. 12 beauty stood up, Xu Chunfeng picked up a wooden stick and was about to dig a hole to bury himself.

No. 13 stood up, and Xu Chunfeng was thinking about how big the hole was, when he heard a deep voice say, "I, Lang Zening."

Chinese, standard Chinese, so standard that you can be a broadcaster.A long time later, Xu Chunfeng accidentally saw a movie whose name translates to: I, Robot.He was having fun at the time, and kicked Lang Zening on the thigh: "Look, look, plagiarism, Hongguoguo's plagiarism!" Lang Zening frowned: "Be honest, the cut is not finished." He bowed his head and continued to cut Master Xu's feet nail.

Lang Zening said four words in total, and sat down after speaking.When Xu Chunfeng heard it, he regained his energy. Look, what is it called, personality.What do you show off by being able to speak English?Yes, but if you don't show off, that's true.Of course, it would be best if he didn't know how to speak Chinese.Xu Chunfeng suddenly had a strong feeling of seeing his relatives after a long absence from his hometown, and seeing the Red Army after being oppressed for a long time.This kind of hero must be recognized.As soon as Xu Chunfeng raised his head, he saw the other party clearly.

It doesn't matter if you don't look at it, you can recognize it at a glance, isn't this the "Pit Gu" who is "hungry" by yourself, and there is a big travel bag next to it.In fact, Lang Zening has been carrying this travel bag all the time, but Xu Chunfeng's eyesight is not very good, he just looks at people and doesn't see anything.

When Xu Chunfeng saw it was him, his smile froze on his face. He hadn't forgotten the hatred just now. Under such circumstances, how could he casually give others a good face?

As soon as Lang Zening sat down, he saw the little kid wearing the fake Adidas staring at him, looking depressed when he wanted to laugh or not, when he wanted to laugh but didn't dare, when he didn't dare to laugh but wanted to laugh, he couldn't help being happy again , thinking while having fun, why is this person so funny.