Alien Office

A man's friendship is a strange thing indeed.

Crazy Yang and Liang Rui always treat each other as mortal enemies and shake their fists with cynicism. Of course, I believe that when facing the enemy, they can give their backs to each other without reservation. trust.

The relationship between Qin Que and I has inexplicably improved.Although I still try my best to disgust him every day, I finally didn't get a strange smell on my body, at most it was mint, which he didn't seem to dislike.

Liang Rui had reservations about the changes between us, while Crazy Yang expressed his doubts. According to him, our relationship is like a transformation after a virgin dedicates her first night to the first man—this old rascal.

The thing that bothers me the most now is undoubtedly the group of silicon-based life forms that just came to H City. No matter which planet they are on, they are equally difficult to deal with, even if they are silicon-based life forms. This can be promoted. to the truth of the universe.

"I've heard that the earth is rich in mineral materials, and a lot of metals. I always thought that at least my body was made of this level of alloy." A Transformer poked a cauldron with its fingers, almost like Stamp the white paper.

My eyelids twitched: "False advertising."

"I've heard that the earth has an abundance of energy to be tapped," another silicon-based creature told me.

"That was 70 years ago." I told him, "Maybe you still had abundant energy when you saw the advertisement, but during your journey, the energy has been consumed by the people on earth. This is the meaning of the vast universe. Mysterious."

Nail households are disappointed.

Liang Rui provided them with special human clones—the kind with chips inserted into their brains. I felt a subtle feeling when I saw the fresh clones, as if I was reading a bad science fiction novel. Third-rate plot, this third-rate imagination!

The silicon-based living organisms cooperated to transmit brain waves to the brain chip of the human body. Half an hour later, the first "corpse" came back to life: "I think the chip is a bit behind."

I shrugged. "Sorry, Earth is a developing planet."

"But chips are expensive."

"Sorry, this is the earth's characteristic pricing method."

"There are too many unreasonable rules on the earth, this barbaric, backward, rude planet!"

"You can comfort yourself that it's an Earth feature," I irresponsibly tell my client.

The Tamiras were pissed, but luckily the consequences were not serious—they seemed cheerful after I offered to give them an Earth-made lubricant.

"When can we go out for a walk?" a nail shop asked me.

I watched their steps and said casually, "After you stop walking so robot-like."

I don't want to lead a bunch of zombies out for a walk, I have no interest in exorcising corpses.

In the afternoon, Qin Que came to help, and brought me a lunch by the way—canned sweet potato starch. I chewed the starch and pointed at the nail shop in the warehouse: "Slow down, stand at attention, go straight—go!"

The Tamira Stars lined up in a row, moving forward with one hand and one foot.

"How many times have I told you, don't use the same hands and feet." I foamed at the mouth and said, it's all the fault of my mouth full of starch, Qin Que forgot to bring me water, and this group of Tamira Stars didn't either The habit of drinking water (they only drink motor oil and lubricants), no, I have to give them some water, or they will die of dehydration in their human bodies now.

"The military posture is not suitable for them, their steps are already stiff enough." Qin Que frowned and raised an objection.

I pointed at the TV and said angrily: "I showed them the model catwalk all morning, but they turned into twisted yangko in a daze. I have no hope for the physical coordination of silicon-based living organisms!"

A nail household protested aggrievedly: "If you suddenly change from a human to a car, you will also be very uncomfortable with the four-wheel locomotion."

I immediately refuted it by performing a scene of human beings turning into cars, and the group of Tamila star people applauded me in unison. I guess they wanted to honk their horns at first, but they couldn't find it after searching all over their bodies. Buttons—idiot, that bulge on your chest isn't really a horn, and neither is the one between your feet—and they end up making noise manually, clapping your hands, clapping your thighs, and clapping the TV.

Damn it...the tv screen was cracked, bill them later.

"I don't complain about cultural differences between China and foreign countries anymore." I said desperately.

Compared with the differences between interstellar civilizations, Chinese and foreign cultures are like one family.

"The human body is really soft," said a Tamira, twisting wildly there.

"Yeah, it's too soft. I don't dare to twist it casually, for fear of accidentally breaking the joint." "That's called a joint." "Oh, joints, and bones. Your carbon-based life forms are amazing. Don't drink it." The energy liquid doesn't eat energy crystals, how did you survive?" "I also think that your food doesn't look like it can generate heat, and the organs in your body are really weird, such soft and fragile things How to complete the life movement." "I can't find where the engine is, and I can't find the horn."

I tapped the door impatiently, which managed to attract the noisy group of Tamiras, who stared at me like expressionless zombies.

I sighed: "Forget it, I don't want to correct your expressions for now."

This group of creatures who don't know what expressions are at all and only know how to express emotions with radio waves, what can I expect from them?

I took a dagger, pointed at my stomach to cut open, and then pulled out the heart: "This part is called the heart, which is responsible for the power of the blood circulation system, similar to your energy engine."

This simple and easy-to-understand explanation pleased the group of Tamira stars, and they nodded their heads to show their understanding—some of them began to twist their chest bumps again and wanted to honk their horns to signal, which is really persistent.

"This is the stomach." I took out the stomach pouch and shook them barely, "It's like your energy storage and conversion device, which converts nuclear energy into kinetic energy, etc., and you are also pouring gasoline... ah no, energy crystals The place."

Qin Que frowned and backed away. This physiology course is not something ordinary humans can participate in.

"This is the intestines, the place for digestion, absorption and excretion. It's almost equivalent to your waste fuel waste discharge pipe." I carried the intestines that were dragged to the ground, and held one end in each hand. It was really long, and it would be very long to stuff it in later trouble.

The Tamiras were extremely happy in this class, and after I sternly warned them not to test themselves with knives—they expressed disappointment—I finally made it to the end of the day.

"It's really a bloody tutorial." Qin Que looked at me strangely.

I was trying to stuff my intestines inside, and casually replied, "Really? I think it's okay. If I eat it in anger because it won't go back, it's bloody."

"Do you like pig intestines?" Qin Que asked me.

I looked at my intestines: "It's fine, if it's clean enough."

"I invite you to dinner." Qin Que said suddenly.

I looked at him with the eyes of 2012 - well, it has been twenty years, the facts have proved that the earth is extremely strong, and has survived the rumors of the end of the world time and time again, and human beings, who are not perfect creatures at the top of the food chain Will continue to ravage the planet until it is drained dry.

Qin Que looked at the door of the warehouse and said, "I heard Crazy Yang said that there is a restaurant that tastes like pig intestines."

I finally managed to stuff my intestines back and started to sew up the wound: "Since you are entertaining guests, fine. By the way, what style of female companion do you like to bring?"

He glanced at me: "Your body."

"It's a jelly-like anthropomorphic creature," I said with my self-conscious humor. "It's too small to be a condom rather than a female companion, although both are equally necessary when exercising in bed."

"..." Qin Que's expression was a little broken, but he quickly regained his composure.

What a tough human being, I like it.

July [-]

Mission: Let Tamira Stars learn to walk

Location: No. 21, Jiangxia District, H City (warehouse)

Object: Tamira Stars (silicon-based mechanical organisms)

Completion: God knows

Remarks: There is a significant difference between walking and crawling, and equally different from rolling, but the Tamiraians obviously don't understand it.Teaching them to walk always makes me feel like I'm training zombies