Alien Office

Picking up a group of plants gave me a great challenge. I seriously thought about whether I should buy a bouquet of flowers to welcome them, but I was afraid that the plants would mistakenly think that I was greeting them because they saw me holding their genitals. For joy, I don't have a hobby of playing tentacles with vines, and I don't want to be whipped a thousand times by these angry "vegetative people".

I was prepared to see a group of "vegetative people" walking around boredly. Fortunately, the area around Lubeiting is quite desolate, and it is already a suburb of the city.

Qin Que and I stood in front of the stone tablet at Lubei Pavilion for 10 minutes, the scorching sun was ravaging me, my body temperature remained high due to my inability to secrete sweat, I hid in the shade in a daze: "Why don't you come? Whether it's falling from the sky or coming out of the ground, hurry up!"

The chirping of cicadas in the mountains and forests is endlessly annoying.I have the urge to simulate the occurrence pattern of the body structure of cicadas to counter destruction, but this kind of high-precision technical work requires me to eat a cicada to let my energy core remember its structure, I instinctively feel that I don’t Will love the taste of it.And if I turned into a big summer cicada and made noise here, there might be countless cicadas attracted by my high-decibel courtship song, and I would be pierced into a sieve by Qin Que's materialized flying knife.

While I was thinking about it, a leaf suddenly fell on my head. I flicked it casually, and the moment my finger touched the leaf, a sentence sounded in my head: "We have been waiting for you for a long time."

"Qin Que, I'm hallucinating."

Qin Que sneered: "Your ears don't have this function."

"They said it was an auditory hallucination."

A lot of leaves rustled and fell down, all piled up on me, and my brain was full of all kinds of messy complaints: "Damn, the efficiency of people on earth is really low." "No way, animals run away!" It's too slow." "And it's so slow, is this a human? The appearance of the galaxy species is really unacceptable." "Isn't it, this thing looks uglier than Dodo, I thought it was the whole universe The first ugly creature."... "Hey, human, what is auditory hallucination? Your pronunciation system is too difficult. I have installed the latest 2.0 full-species language chip specially made by carbon-based fiber creatures in the universe. I still have to do it. I don’t understand your pronunciation system, what is the vocal cords, what is the vibration pronunciation, you don’t directly use the nerves to transmit information, you have to rely on vibration to transmit information and then convert it into nerve information, you are so fucking stupid.”

I was completely overwhelmed by a large amount of messy information in the energy core. I was buried in the pile of leaves and crawled out with difficulty.

These crazy vegetative people!

It's useless to reason with aliens, they can always beat me with the logic of their own planet.The only thing that makes me happy is that various strange products of the earth can easily bring down this group of extraterrestrial creatures-such as electric blankets and freezers, and then such as gasoline and horns.

Qin Que picked up a leaf, then looked up at the huge tree behind me.

"Are we going to cut this tree down and take it away? Or should we walk the tree people hand in hand, from the state highway to the office to check in? We should show every passing commuter an amnestic device, the problem is that we don’t have this kind of technology at all, the damn “Men in Black” has misled the masses!” I asked sarcastically.

A green octopus fell from the sky and hit me on the head.

The crackling message rushed into my energy core again: "Treat, cut, what is that?" Seeds, the aircraft can't hold them at all, why don't you just stay on that garbage star and evolve!"..."Earthlings, you are narrow-minded."

I'm narrow, I'm narrow, I'm narrow...

I squeezed out a smile: "I'm so sorry, I'm from Slem, not from Earth."

The green octopus on my head froze for a few seconds, then let out a scream and scrambled away, and I watched as a dozen green octopuses with grass rings clattered down from the tree—they His fashion is amazing, cuckolding himself—fleeing into the forest in a similar rolling and crawling posture.

This wonderful "low tide" scene made me freeze for a few seconds, until the octopus fled into the jungle and disappeared.

"Am I scary?" I asked Qin Que angrily.

Qin Que didn't have time to pay attention to me, he was busy using his thoughts to bring these guys back one by one.

I grabbed a trembling green octopus. Speaking of them, they should look like a vine with a ball on top, but there is a grass circle full of leaves on the ball. I couldn't find their eyes and mouth. I don't know where their ears are, so I had to cough dryly and ask seriously: "Okay, the peek-a-boo game is over, you should tell me why you ran away."

The green octopus retracted its vines into the head of the ball and began to play dead. Angrily, I held a murder weapon and began to extract a confession: "Don't play pity on me, or I will stab you to death!"

The poor octopus stretched out a tentacle and tapped on my feet, and a message was sent to my energy core: "Can you promise not to eat me?"

I took a sip: "Do you look delicious? Don't be so serious about the persecution paranoia."

"Don't the people of Slem Star like to devour other extraterrestrial creatures?"

I was shocked. It turned out that I was a cannibal, but apart from being very interested in my own meat, I never considered trying the meat of other races.

In a blink of an eye, Qin Que had already caught all the escaped green octopuses, and funnyly wove a big net with his mind, and stuffed the group of octopuses into the net like he was catching fish.

"Let's go." Qin Que dragged a sack of octopus, and stuffed the group of little guys into the rear compartment like a fisherman with a good harvest.

The octopuses were crying and screaming, directly showing that they were frantically throwing leaves at us for language bombardment, and I suddenly had the pleasure of being a bad guy...

"I'll cook you all when you're making such a fuss!" I threatened in a vicious voice.

The Lomis were so frightened that they didn't litter the leaves any more—they had almost plucked all the leaves from the grass circle.

I caught an octopus and carried it to the passenger seat, and began to torture it on the use of leaves. It communicated with me through vines with a mournful face. It turned out that this is a special skill of their species, and non-fibrous life cannot master it.While talking, it said to me timidly: "Don't eat me, I don't want to be swallowed, I can put the information you need into the leaves for you, I promise I will do it."

I grabbed its grass loops and angrily pulled off the leaves. I have no interest in eating raw plants, and it is not lettuce doused in tomato sauce.

It dares not speak out.

When we arrived at the flower shop, Qin Que parked the car in the underground garage. I kindly provided him with a sack. He was obviously curious about its origin, but he still chose to use it to catch the frightened octopuses crawling around one by one. Give Liang Rui the bag.

Liang Rui skillfully applied for a temporary pass for this group of guys, then contacted the maintenance department to fix their spaceships as soon as possible, and finally told the group of green octopuses with a smile on his face: "Your spaceship can be repaired within three days. Please stay in the designated residence 'quietly' and do not go out at will."

The green octopuses looked at each other, and finally expressed their obedience honestly. I laughed sinisterly at the side, and I opened my mouth wide if anyone dared not obey, and then the group of guys were frightened and ran around trembling.

After dealing with these guys, it was already eight o'clock in the evening. Qin Que and I walked out of the flower shop. It was a cool summer night. I looked at the hazy stars in the sky and suddenly felt a little emotional.

I don't know which one is my home star. It probably cannot be seen with the naked eye, even with the most advanced telescopes. It doesn't emit light.

That is a place I can never go back to in my life. I was born on the earth and grew up on the earth. This alien planet is my home. I miss it just like I miss my family.I think Crazy Yang probably thinks the same as me. He also has people he can't let go of, and he won't go back.

I held the leaf of the Lomi Starman, and the words in it kept repeating, repeating, echoing in my brain—perhaps it should be said to be the energy core.

I looked at Qin Que's back and carefully put it away, maybe one day I will need it.

"It's time to go." Qin Que stopped and waited for me.I responded and walked quickly to his side.

"There's no bus, I'll take you home."

"Ah."

I used Lolita's hand to pull Qin Que's hand, but he gave me a stare. I thought I understood what he meant, and then recovered my appearance. He didn't shake off my hand.

"Qin Que, do you believe it? Maybe... maybe I like men too." I said so.

It was the first time I looked at him without looking up. It felt as if the distance between us had been shortened suddenly, and I had already touched the shell on his body, even with an ugly clinging The posture is lying on the shell, I don't care if this posture is embarrassing, I only care about whether I can finally break the hard shell.

Someone who tolerates and accepts me is so important to me.I don't want to miss it, let alone lose it.

Qin Que was silent for a long time, so silent that I almost thought he would not respond.

"If I remember correctly, you should like the kind of loli who only reaches my waist."

I laughed: "It's different. Appreciative liking is not the same as loving liking. At least I don't want to have sex with a loli, that's a crime."

Qin Que looked at me with those beautiful eyes, and there was a message that I could understand in those deep eyes.

"So you mean you want to have sex with me?"

I shrugged: "Before I study the relevant organs of the human body, let's postpone it for now."

Qin Que seemed to sneer, but he didn't say any sarcastic words, but strode forward - without letting go of my hand.

I figured everything wasn't as bad as I thought it would be, which is fine, fine.

August [-]rd

Task: Pick up the Lomi Stars at the airport and handle the temporary residence registration

Location: Lubei Pavilion, H City

Subject: Lomi Stars (carbon-based cellulosic organisms)

Completion: 100%

Remarks: These cuckold octopuses are completely out of the category of plants except for their skin color and the characteristics of plants. I hate noisy and active plants, stop throwing leaves out of the car window!Here is the earth!