to his love

I was born on May 19, 31xx.In that year, the weather was smooth and the people were happy. The United States did not change its president, and the United Kingdom did not struggle to escape or not. Refugees did not threaten the social stability and political status of the world's major powers. Freedom, democracy and capital forces have not yet begun to confront openly.In short, except for the shock that was hardly an earthquake on the day I was born, everything was so peaceful.

And that earthquake, which probably doesn't deserve to be defined as an earthquake, if it didn't happen at the moment I was born, then my parents and friends and I probably wouldn't be impressed by it.

I'm gay. I first became aware of my sexuality when I was 17.In my era, girls were still very innocent. At that time, I was a beautiful grass in school, and they were all willing to circle around me for my face.To be honest, I still miss the group of girls who are not so deep - I don't want to use the word superficial to describe them, although they are obsessed with me because they are superficial.

Among them, there is one girl who is quite special.I remember that she still had a crush on me at the beginning, and every time I finished playing, she was always the first one to come up with a blushing face and hand me a tissue.It was only later that a student was suddenly transferred to our class. I never paid attention to that guy, but my fans did withdraw most of their attention from me because of his appearance.

That year I was a sophomore in high school, with a youthful spirit, and I may have always pretended to be calm on the surface, but in fact, I had secretly compared myself to him more than a dozen times.

Of course I always win.

Let's not mention the little fights between the young people.Let's move on to the girl.I still remember her name, Gu Pan.I remember an idiom called Gu Pan Shenghui, which roughly refers to girls' beautiful eyes?She really fits the name very well, every time she passes me a tissue, the fine sunlight penetrates the branches and smears half of her face in gold.At this time, her eyes will show a very beautiful amber color, and she will look at me with a smile like that. I don't think any boy can refuse that kind of youthfulness and innocence.

I have always kept the vague emotion in my heart, because I am not sure whether it is appreciation or real heartbeat.Yes, I know those eyes don't belong to me.But you know, people are always like that.Greed and inexplicable possessiveness made me subtly feel jealous when I looked at other boys with those eyes.

That transfer student who is just like me, except for his face.

Ren Chaozhi.

I didn't even pay attention to whether it was Chaoyang Dynasty or Dynasty Dynasty Dynasty.This boy is a completely different type from me. Every time I come out of the office after pretending to be a student, I always see him playing basketball in the small playground directly opposite.We are in the second year of high school, and the pressure of key classes not only suppresses the students but also suppresses the teachers. The class teacher has banned boys from playing ball between classes more than once.

I don't know if it's a provocation, but as soon as I come out of the office, his ball will be thrown high in my direction.

The sound of the basketball bouncing against the wall was particularly ear-piercing.

"Hey, college bully," he wiped off his sweat and smiled, "Can you help me?"

The one who handed him the tissue was the girl I might like, Gu Pan.

I always nodded lightly and smashed the ball back.Sometimes I hear the teachers sigh for this ignorant boy.I have heard many stories about him from teachers.I think it's fake, because he looks sunny and cheerful, although he is sometimes a bit annoying, but he is not like the bad boy they say.

Some people call him Brother Chao, Chaoyang Chao; others call him Ren Chaozhi, Chao Dynasty.For a long time I didn't know what to call him.He didn't tell me the meaning of his name until after our unusual relationship -- much later.

"Chao, it means facing toward." He said, bending his eyes, "Although I can't come, I yearn for it. My dad thinks so, so I call it Chaozhi."

"Squad leader, does it sound familiar?"

Of course it sounds familiar.Because my name is Su Jingzhi.

The high mountains stop, and the scenery stops.Although I can't come, I yearn for it.

From the very beginning, our relationship was like this, lightly.Occasionally you look down on me, I think you are an eyesore, there are petty disputes, but I really roll up my sleeves and make a move, I think there is only one time.

That day he was invited as a parent, and the woman came out of the office wiping tears.I know that one of the teachers in the class is his aunt, so I can't figure out how a family can talk to make one angry at the other.All cried.

Uncharacteristically, he didn't show that self-contained look, and stood in the corner with his head tilted, listening to his mother scold him bit by bit.The woman with exquisite makeup was very aura when she walked, but she looked more like a child than him when she stood in front of him with a sad face.

The head teacher asked me to go to the office to hold the paper, and explained something to me by the way.I have always known how to pretend to be a perfect and good student in front of these teachers. I probably performed a little extra that day. His mother was talking, glanced at me, and answered very naturally, "Look at me!"

The teacher called us together after school that day.The head teacher asked me to supervise him to complete the homework.In fact, I would rather have dinner.The sun was spreading, and I sat on the table in front of him with my hands folded, and suddenly noticed the slight redness in the corners of the boy's eyes.

He was stuck on a question for a long time.I turned my head and looked at it twice. It was very simple. The teacher had only talked about a similar topic a few classes ago.

I chuckled.

Just at that moment, his pencil broke with a click, accompanied by my smile.I saw him raise his head, there was still redness in the corners of his eyes, and the burning emotion in those eyes seemed to be able to burn people.

The atmosphere has been suppressed for too long, he has been suppressed for too long, and so have I.

We fought like this, overturned the desks of two innocent classmates, and fought from the corner of the classroom to the podium.The sound of the blackboard being wiped on the ground was very clear, and a cloud of smoke and dust was flying. He turned his fist to my chin, and I took advantage of the momentum to kick his knee.We beat very dirty, hitting wherever it hurts.In the end, he pressed me on two side-by-side desks, and I hit him hard with my head. He froze, and slowly let go of his hand.

He collapsed next to me, and we lay side by side, and suddenly started laughing.

His eyes are shining, like two pieces of jade that have finally washed off the dust on them, "Squad leaders can fight too."

"Yeah," I said, panting, "the monitor can do anything for you."

He had a nice smile.

I tilted my head, thinking that I would run faster and have something to eat, "But the squad leader just remembered that there is one thing he can't do."

"Ok?"

He pretended to be listening.

I jumped up, ran to the door, and pointed to the messy room, "He won't clean up the mess, so leave it to you!"

Run when you're done.

Self-study starts at eight o'clock in the evening.When I returned to the classroom, it was peaceful.

He has changed, but I don't know if he has had dinner in time.I put the milk and bread on his table and he looked up and said thank you.

The classroom is not quiet, but we have been silent for a long time.Finally he took the initiative to speak and said, "In the afternoon, I'm sorry. I... I was a little confused, so..."

"I know." I waved my hand, I don't remember if I rolled my eyes, "Otherwise, who will fight with you?"

Fortunately, this kid is very easy to coax, and the fight will be fun.

He laughed again.I found that he seemed to laugh a lot, and it was the kind of smile with crooked eyes, and his expression didn't look hazy at all.

At that time, there was still lingering noise in my ears, he got closer to me, leaned over and whispered something to me.I can't remember what he said, I just remember that I seemed to be staring at him blankly, catching the light that flowed every time he blinked.

He approached me strangely, with a teasing expression, "Oh, monitor, why are you blushing?"

"Which girl did you suddenly think of?" Before the teacher came, he moved closer, almost whispering into my ear, "Tell me quietly, for the sake of the classmate, I will help you chase her. "

I tried my best to stay calm, restraining my skin from trembling at his every breath, "I didn't think about any girl."

I... seem to be thinking of you?

I was in a trance during that evening self-study, and every step I walked on the road seemed to be floating.

It turns out that this is the feeling of love at first sight.

I also dreamed about him that night, and he sat next to me and smiled with his chin propped up.It turns out that a person's night can not be lonely.I made up my mind to bury this person in my heart.

I am 17 years old, this love came inexplicably, and it is inexplicably strong.And it's undeniably more vivid than all the emotions I've had in the previous 17 years.I didn't actually intend to say it out loud, but I always had a feeling—

I will remember this person for a lifetime.