Duckling Notes

I still lowered my head and looked at Qiangqiang who was looking at me with his head tilted under my feet, "I thought I would not have to face this problem if I ran away from home."

As it turns out, no.

My dad left anyway, regardless of whether he got my answer or not, it seemed like he was an outsider, inserting himself between me and Xing Zhaohe, although I didn't have that kind of relationship with him.But now I hope he misunderstands the kind of relationship we have. A dedicated gay son is better than a promiscuous gay son, right?

After he left, when I thought about my chaotic two years, I was so ashamed that I blushed so badly that I could bleed.

Packed overnight.I feel ashamed to see him again.The feeling of excitement and happiness at the beginning has now turned into regret.

I dragged my luggage and walked downstairs with Qiangqiang in my arms. Xing Zhaohe and I went downstairs, still saying, "Go to M City, I have a suite there. I originally wanted to speculate on the real estate, but it didn't go up, and I plan to rent it out. Forget it, so it has been renovated. You go live, remember to contact me. You don’t have to worry so much about your dad’s place.”

But before Xing Zhaohe started the car, someone knocked on my car window.

My Father.

"You... haven't you left?" I saw from the balcony that he drove away.

"I regret it before I go far. I am serious. I am afraid that you will run away again." He said, "If I can't find you again, I will regret it for the rest of my life."

I was afraid that people would be too gentle to me, "...you don't have to worry about me, anyway, what happened to me today is what I asked for."

He sighed, "At least call me 'Dad'?"

But I can't call out.

"You just don't care about me being called Dad. I'm so ashamed that I haven't cared about you for so many years. How could I not care about you?"

"Forget it, don't be sad, it's a good thing for father and son to be reunited." Xing Zhaohe said, "Don't even think about running away, just hang out with your dad first, there's nothing wrong with it, I'll run with you, okay? "

I saw my dad frowning.

"You go live with your dad tonight. It should be fine if the dog leaves me here for one night. Qiangqiang and I don't know each other anymore."

I still went back with my dad.

"Well, where do you live now?" Sitting in my dad's car, I asked.

"I bought a second-hand house and used my subsidies and bonuses for more than ten years. It's not far from here. Because I didn't plan to live here for a long time, I just bought a house that didn't need to be renovated, and I just lived there. I wanted to find you. , to see where you want to settle, I will find a way to mobilize and follow."

"Oh. You really don't intend to remarry?"

He nodded, "I don't have that passion, and I don't have that plan. I'm tired, I want to stay by myself, and I don't have the strength to manage another marriage."

"My mother, I mean my own mother. Is she okay?"

"It's okay, she also thought I was dead. I only contacted your aunt. I heard that when you were young, she visited you a few times. Later, she and her husband moved to another place. "

"I have no impression."

"You didn't remember much back then."

"She had another child later?"

"Well, a girl. Her husband is nice to her too. They used to be classmates."

I saw my dad smiled wryly.

"Then I don't want to go to her." I said to myself, I still wanted to see her.Since she is quite happy, I still don't want to go.

My dad's house is here.

It is the kind of old house with only five floors, no elevator, and every balcony is equipped with solid and dense anti-theft nets and pasted with yellowing white tiles.It's not too old, but it should have been there for more than ten years.

He lives on the third floor, and the house is a bit messy.As soon as he entered the door, he said, "I'll clean up, you can sit down and watch TV first. Or look around, this can also be your home."

I nodded and followed him to help him clean up.Although it is messy, it is not dirty, it is just throwing things around, the same problem as me.Two rooms and two halls, one bedroom and one used as a study.

"Where do I sleep?" There was only one bed.

"Sleep with me, that's a big bed."

"But Dad, I'm gay." For some reason, he asked me to call him Dad, but I couldn't call him out, but as I was talking, I called him out, probably in my heart many times.

He was probably very happy to hear the first half of the sentence, but sad to hear the second half.So that expression was... intriguing.

"No matter what you are, you are my son first. Father and son sleep together, you don't have to think too much." Half a day, he said.

I cheered up, "Then I'm going to take a shower first."

"it is good."

Fortunately, Xing Zhaohe reminded me that I brought a change of clothes for the day.When you shower, throw your dirty clothes in the washing machine.After taking a shower, I took the basin to the balcony, "Dad, where is the clothes-hanging pole?" After the first dad yelled out, things went smoothly.

"I'll dry it for you. It's windy on the balcony. Go to sleep."

I didn't argue with him.Lying on the bed he has made, "Where do I sleep?"

"Sleep wherever you want."

I would love to play a trick and sleep in the middle.Think about it, let's get to know my dad a little better before doing this.So he honestly slept on the side.

"Do you want to turn off the light? Or turn on the small light to sleep?"

"Turn off the lights and go to sleep."

So my dad walked in, turned off the light for me, and went to the bathroom.

Soon he heard the sound of him taking a shower and going to bed.

"Are you still asleep?" he asked.

"Um. Dad, have I slept with you before?"

"I've slept. At that time, you slept between me and your mother. When your mother went to work the night shift, you had to sleep with me, crying all the time, crying without being hugged or patting your hands. You have to With a pacifier."

"Hey," I smirked, "I don't remember."

"How old were you at that time. It's strange to remember."

"Then where did we live when I was a child?"

"The hospital staff's family home in the old city is allocated by your mother's unit. A small bungalow and an even smaller kitchen."

"Then it's just the bedroom and the kitchen?"

"Ah."

"Then what should I do if I have to go to the bathroom?"

"There are public toilets 3 minutes away from our house."

"Wow, did you have trouble soon when you had diarrhea?"

"What's more troublesome is that at night, neither you nor your mother dare to go to the toilet by yourself."

"hey-hey……"

Just talked until we fell asleep.

I have a happy family in my dream.My mother is beautiful and my father is gentle.We live in a small house, save money, and look forward to buying a big house.I am still very naughty and mischievous, and I am often scolded by the teacher, please parents.After my father was invited by the teacher to drink tea, he would spank my ass when he came back.After clapping loudly a few times, his anger dissipated.Buy me popsicles again.When I got ninety in the exam, he wasn't angry, but he would pat my head and smile when I got one hundred.

So no one will lead me astray, at least I won't become gay so early, and I won't be a fool who doesn't take myself seriously.

I was woken up by my dad, who looked at me eagerly, "Why are you crying? Have a nightmare?"

I shook my head, seeing that it was still dawn, I turned my face away and closed my eyes to pretend to be asleep.I didn't have a nightmare, I had a good dream.

It smells like rice in the morning.He cooked porridge and eggs, cut sausages and pickles.

"Do you like to eat? There are only these things at home today, and I can only cook them. What do you want to eat tomorrow, you say, and I will do it." My dad said.

I am not picky, I am not picky eaters.Sitting down to eat, I really wanted to praise my dad's ordinary craftsmanship to the sky, but in the end I couldn't.

While peeling the eggs for me, he said, "When you were young, you liked to mash the egg yolks and mix them in the porridge, and you also added some sugar."

"I don't remember. Dad, why don't you try it for me?"

He nodded.

Looking at the strangely colored porridge, I didn't dare to eat it for a while.White porridge, egg yolk, brown sugar... how do you feel, so weird?Bite the bullet and take a sip, um, it's not bad.

"Dad, it's delicious." I said it sincerely.

He immediately smiled.

My tears fell into the porridge, I dare not say, the reason I became gay is all because of my dad.If I have a happy family like in my dream, I think it will mean that the time when I became gay will be pushed back by ten or eight years.So facing my dad, I still couldn't help feeling guilty.

Let’s talk more about childhood, don’t mention now.I was about to speak, but my dad said, "Pingping, I have no right to ask you anything. I just hope that you will have a better life in the future. The money I saved will be yours in the future, but people need more than money to live. .People need to have dignity and achievements to live on.”

I lowered my head, knowing that my good life is destined to not last long, "Dad, people still need love. If no one loves, you have to love something else." I love men.

He nodded, "I don't want to force you. Let's try slowly, shall we? Just try. If it doesn't work...I won't care about you anymore."

Surprised to death, I looked up at him.He was still frowning, but it didn't look like he was telling a lie.

"Give me a year," he said.

I nodded, a year is not long, "But I can't live here with you, you are allergic to dogs."

"In this way, let's try and put the dog on the balcony. I was sensitive a few years ago, and it may not be so serious in these years."

I nodded, "Dad, you are so kind."

He paused, coughed, and asked again, "Do you need money?"

How can people not need money?But I immediately understood what he meant, and lowered my head, "Dad, I don't do that anymore. Even then, I wasn't as miserable as you think... At least I only look for what I like... I I don't think I've wronged myself..."

Now it was his turn to keep nodding, "I know, I know, I'm just a little worried..."

"I go to the hospital every month for physical examinations and blood tests. I didn't spoil myself."

"Well, well, I know that my children will know how to take care of themselves."

"Well," I changed the subject, "Dad, what are we doing today?"

We did a very vulgar thing today.We went to the playground...

The author has something to say: Handsome Dad's position is firm, but his attitude is gentle, and he feels ashamed.

20

20. It's easy to talk too much when drunk (modified a bit, please re-read)...