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The results of the survey show that a large number of gays became gay because they were molested by men when they were young.

When Qu You repeatedly recalled everything on his life journey, what happened that night was a taboo, his brain refused to recall, but even if he refused to recall what happened at that time, he himself understood what happened that day, He must have been raped by Ji Hong. For some unknown reason, he was raped by a man like this.

After that, he couldn't understand why Ji Hong did that to him.

Ji Hong's psychology became abnormal, which also turned him into a twisted person.

Qu You felt that if he was a tree, then someone would have bent his original growth direction that night, and bent the original straight canopy that went up to receive the sunlight to a dark direction, but others couldn't see it. As for the knot that caused the tree to bend, Qu You himself understood it very well.

Qu You fell seriously ill because of that incident.

Such a triple impact on body, mind and outlook on life makes it difficult for him not to get sick.

Ji Hong left, leaving Qu You in a mess.

He woke up around four or five o'clock. His brain hurt and he was in a daze, but he immediately realized that something had happened.

He had a strong mental support that allowed him to deal with this matter calmly and wisely.

Ji Hong is no longer there, and neither is his bag, so he must be leaving.

Qu You was relieved that he was gone.

He got dressed, went downstairs to wash his body, and went upstairs with water to wipe the dirty mat.

The body hurts, especially the place of shame, which makes him feel overwhelmed by the pain, but he only knows how to cover up the pain, together with the shame.

After packing everything up, he fell asleep again in a daze.

On the second day, it was three poles a day, and Qu You woke up when her mother came back from doing the work in the field and called Qu You.

Qu You was running a fever, and he saw the bruises on his wrists caused by being tied up, on his legs, chest, abdomen, arms, and even his shoulders, there were many black and blue marks, and there were some tooth marks, which made Qu You cry , buried his face in his arms, and cried for a while, when his mother called him downstairs to eat, he found a long-sleeved shirt and trousers from the closet, put them on, wiped his eyes, and went downstairs.

His lips were also a little swollen, and he felt pain when he brushed his teeth, because Ji Hong bit his skin.

Qu You lowered his head and ate slowly. He was afraid that his mother would find out that he was abnormal. He couldn't let anyone know about that kind of thing.

However, Mother Qu didn't pay much attention to him at all, and asked when Ji Hong left, but Qu You just didn't answer.

Qu's mother couldn't ask and didn't say anything about Qu You. She just said that Qu You could eat lunch at home by herself, or go to grandpa's house. At the memorial banquet on the last day of the funeral, she said she would not come back until evening.

Qu You didn't answer her.

Qu You has always been a boring gourd, and Qu's mother didn't care, so she dressed up and left.

Qu You had a muddle that day, he was very scared in his heart, what happened the night before was the most profound and terrifying nightmare for him.

He closed the door of his house firmly, he was afraid that Ji Hong would come looking for him again.

However, what reassures him is that Ji Hong didn't find him, Ji Hong went back and never came again.

Qu You took the fever-reducing pills at home, and curled up on the bed, thinking about countless things in his mind.

He didn't go to study at night. The teacher called his home, but he didn't go downstairs to answer it.

Qu You only went to class the next day. He told the teacher that he was sick, and he didn’t come to the evening self-study yesterday. The teacher saw that his face was pale and listless, and he cared about his health, so he didn’t care about his absence from class. .

Ji Hong returned to XX City immediately after his grandmother went up the mountain. He felt a little guilty for treating Qu You like that, but this guilt was quickly washed away by other things. Yu put it in the back of his mind.

It took more than a week for Qu You to recover from her illness, and the bruises and tooth marks on her body had almost faded by then.

However, the traces on the body can no longer be seen, but the traces on the heart can never be erased.

It was shortly before the mid-term exam in the last semester of his second year of high school that he found out that he had a problem.

He went to the toilet and saw the thing next to his classmate, which suddenly made him feel an indescribable feeling, but he knew that feeling was throbbing and yearning.

He was frightened by his own feeling, and felt that he must be abnormal in his heart, that he was not normal.

Qu You is not a squeamish person. He buried the incident of being raped by Ji Hong in his heart and would not let anyone know. He gave himself a lot of psychological hints to let himself not care about that incident. , trying his best to forget that he didn't let Ji Hong have a greater influence on his life and growth.

His grades have not been affected at all, and he is still the seventh or eighth in the class. He studies hard, works hard to complete his homework, and reads extracurricular books. He is still estranged from his classmates, talks less, and is silent. There is always some melancholy in the eyes.

He was confessed by two girls, one was from the same class and the other was from the class next door. He politely rejected them both, and he wrote a long poem to reject each other. I don't feel disgusted, I just feel more moved.

When he always thought that he would not be affected by Ji Hong, the sequelae of that incident still appeared.

Qu You is about 16 years old and will be 17 years old. There is no nocturnal emission that shows that he has grown up, and there is no father or brother in his family to tell him such a thing. He usually has a cold relationship with male classmates, so he is so Da didn't know it was normal for this kind of thing to happen.

He doesn't have any special feelings for girls. The object of his first love also makes him spiritually happy and happy, and he has absolutely no other thoughts.

He still has a feeling of liking for his crush, and feels that the other is as clean, pure and beautiful as a goddess, and he has a longing for the other that is as pleasant as spiritual enjoyment.

However, the more he loved the other party, the more he knew that he was already filthy, and he was no longer worthy of that girl's beauty.

Especially when he found that he had a throbbing feeling about the external genitalia of other boys, he felt that he was facing a catastrophe, like a raging flood, but he couldn't escape, he could only Watching himself drowned, no one can come to save him.

He often noticed other boys' lower three inches in a daze, which frightened him.

Fortunately, the male students in the class didn't notice his abnormality, but Qu You was still terrified. He knew it must be the sequelae of Ji Hong's incident, but he couldn't solve it.

He worked harder, trying to get rid of his strange feelings about men.

He spent his sophomore year in this high tension, he put Ji Hong in the cold palace, and never thought about him again.

Everything went out of track again when his sophomore year was about to end.

Their school will not have a holiday after the second year of high school exams. They will move to the third floor of the high school to continue tutoring. Most of the summer vacation is only half a month, sometimes only ten days.

It was June [-]th at this time, because the senior three students had already passed the college entrance examination, and there were no senior high school students in the school, and it felt like a lot of people were empty at once. Moreover, because the senior high school students were liberated, the second year students became nervous. But they are also quite arrogant, after all, they are the bosses of the school now.

Qu You used to always run out of the classroom to ride a bicycle in the parking shed as soon as school was over, because the school has a lot of people, and there are also a lot of bicycles, if you don’t run at the front, then it will be difficult to push the bicycle because of the crowds and crowds .But now he always walks at the back, and waits until there are no people in the parking shed before riding his own car, so as to stagger the peak hours of the flow of people.

The sun in late June was already very strong. Qu You put on a sun hat and walked into the carport. When he was about to push the car away, a person in front of him blocked him. It was a classmate in his class, who was more than half taller than him. He is tall, the basketball forward in their class, a very popular guy named Zhang Xianfeng.

Seeing him, Qu You's hand holding the handlebar of the car tightened, and his heart became nervous.

It's not without reason that Qu You was nervous when he saw him.

Zhang Xianfeng is not the most handsome in their class, there are other people in their class, but the sunny and handsome Zhang Xianfeng is still very attractive. Qu You first had that kind of "genital interest" in male external genitalia. The person who stood beside him and released the water freely was this person.

Later, when Qu You didn't realize it, he would often unconsciously focus on this person for no reason, and then he would be in a daze.

He doesn't regard this feeling towards Zhang Xianfeng as falling in love with him, but he thinks that his perverted thoughts are insulting him, so when this person stands in front of him, he feels guilty.

Qu You lowered her head slightly, pursed her lips, and remained silent, not daring to look at the person in front of her.

Zhang Xianfeng didn't say anything, and stood like this for a while, and the person pushing the bicycle saw the two confronting each other, so he took a second look. Of course, Zhang Xianfeng couldn't compare to Qu You in terms of silence, and in the end he spoke first, saying , "What do you mean by staring at me every day?"

Qu You is not a person to be hated, and Zhang Xianfeng doesn't hate him, he even likes his kind of clean, shy and cute - if Qu You is a girl, he thinks Qu You is secretly in love with him, he Happy to associate with him.

However, Qu You is a boy, so he found a shy and fair boy staring at him every day, what does that feel like, anyway, it's not good.

Zhang Xianfeng is considered a gentleman, he didn't tell others about Qu You's weirdness, but came to ask Qu You why.

Qu You was overwhelmed by Zhang Xianfeng's questioning, how could he let others know his dirty thoughts and perverted thoughts.

His fingers holding the handlebars trembled, and his face became pale.

Zhang Xianfeng saw Qu You's white chin, pink lips, and his pitifully hanging head, and the trembling white and slender fingers holding the handlebar.

Zhang Xianfeng doesn't want to think about whether Qu You has plans for him in that way. Zhang Xianfeng knows that there are people in the world who are gay, but he doesn't want to think about Qu You.

Seeing how pitiful Qu You was, he finally softened his heart, and someone pushed a bicycle past him, he said softly, "Let's have a meal together, and talk while eating, I won't do anything to you."

Of course Qu You was not happy to have dinner with him, he was afraid that Zhang Xianfeng had already read his mind, so in extreme fear, his voice was small and trembling, "I want to go home, my mother is waiting for me to eat. "

Zhang Xianfeng took out the mobile phone in his pocket and said, "What's your home phone number, just give me a call and tell me!"

Qu You didn't answer, Zhang Xianfeng reached out to take off the hat on his head and took it away, he saw Qu You's long eyelashes trembling slightly, and his clear eyebrows were shining brightly in the bright sunshine passing through the maple leaves. With a hint of charm, her face was as white as transparent, there was still a little sweat on the tip of her erect nose, and her lips were tightly pursed.

Zhang Xianfeng's heart skipped a beat when he saw it. All the boys in the class knew that Qu You was prettier than any girl in their class, but no one made a joke about it, because Qu You wasn't that kind Someone who can take a joke.

His silence and excellent grades, as well as his indifference to girls, made boys not dislike him, so Qu You had no experience of being bullied.

But he is still timid.

Zhang Xianfeng forcibly locked Qu You's bicycle and put it back, and went to pull his arm to walk with him. Qu You avoided him. When Zhang Xianfeng asked repeatedly, Qu You gave the phone number of his home to him. He listened, Zhang Xianfeng dialed the number, and handed the phone to Qu You after connecting.

Under his staring gaze, Qu You told his mother about the situation, saying that he couldn't go home for dinner, and his classmates invited him to dinner.

Qu You said that she was with her classmates, and Qu's mother didn't doubt it, so she agreed.

Qu You was dragged into a taxi by Zhang Xianfeng, and then went to a restaurant he had never been to before.

The inside is actually a water bar, which is specially for people to chat and talk. It also provides Western food such as sandwich steak and Chinese food like rice bowl.

Qu You hung his head down and had no strength to lift it up. The two sat in the innermost seat by the window. Zhang Xianfeng asked Qu You to order food, but Qu You didn't respond. This made Zhang Xianfeng a little angry. I ordered a bowl of rice, and I also ordered soup.

It took a long time to wait for the meal, so he stared at Qu You, making Qu You's head droop even more.

Zhang Xianfeng really wanted to reach out and pinch Qu You's chin to lift his face, but he didn't do that, but said in a rough voice, "Hey, I said you are a man, so don't be so coy! Don't dare to act! Tell me, why are you staring at me every day!"

Qu You's cheeks turned from pale to red at what he said, very embarrassed and ashamed.

Looking up at Zhang Xianfeng, he murmured for a long time before making a sound, saying, "I'm sorry, I...I..."

"What about you?" Zhang Xianfeng looked at him aggressively.

Qu You shrank back, "I didn't do it on purpose, I won't dare again in the future."

"I'm asking you why, I didn't ask if you did it on purpose." Zhang Xianfeng raised his brows forcefully, Qu You's eyebrows became tangled, and the look in his eyes was very complicated, and he couldn't answer anymore.

Seeing Qu You's pitiful look, Zhang Xianfeng couldn't bear it, and finally asked him tentatively, "Then what, are you gay? Have you taken a fancy to me?"

Although he didn't like to make such a guess, he still asked.

Qu You was so frightened by his inquiry that the lemonade glass in his hand fell on the table, and the water stained the tablecloth.

Zhang Xianfeng got up with a napkin and sucked up the poured water, and said, "You are really serious, don't worry, I won't tell others. But, I warn you, don't make up my mind."

Qu You knows what homosexuality is, he read it in the book, but he still doesn't know much about it, and he doesn't have any specific understanding. Zhang Xianfeng said this about him, which made him feel very complicated. He thought he was not, but he didn't. refute him.

Zhang Xianfeng wanted to say something more, a person came from next door to them.

When Zhang Xianfeng saw the other party, he showed a surprised expression, and said hello, "Brother Dong, you are here."

Dong Bo was sitting at the table next to them, savoring the loneliness. He had been sitting all morning and was about to go home for lunch, but he saw Zhang Xianfeng and Qu You coming in.

Because there are horizontal sofas with high backs in the store, the two adjacent tables cannot see each other, and when Zhang Xianfeng and Qu You entered, they did not notice because of the light green gauze curtain Dong Bo is here.

At this moment when Dong Bo appeared, Zhang Xianfeng was surprised, but Qu You was terrified. He was worried that Dong Bo had heard what the two had just said.