It's too late to marry a cat [Interstellar]

When Ya Huiquan was studying, Hengguang College was a full-time closed school. He only went home for two months during the winter vacation and summer vacation. As soon as he graduated, the situation became tense. The conflict between the Star Alliance and the Outer Territorial Alliance at the border of the star sector became more and more intense. After getting off the graduate lecture platform, they boarded the mecha directly and rushed to their first appointment posts.

From then on, he took less time to go home as a matter of course. Even after the repair of the mansion was completed, he barely took time out of his busy schedule to enter the owner's information. He just came back in a hurry, like a tourist on the go, punched a card at the door of his house, inspected the house by the way, and even went to the central administrative region halfway through, and was forced to meet seven or eight people who were promoted to him. The politician who wanted to have a "casual chat" with him got into a fight -- verbally -- with the finance official in charge of military appropriations for the quarter.

He was in a hurry year after year, no matter how big the house was, it was just a resting place, and he rarely stayed for long. Ya Huiquan was not as familiar with his house as his electronic housekeeper.

If there is not a hundred miles left, the electronic housekeeper will use his own existence to remind Yahuiquan that the house under his name is his nominal home, then this "resting point" may really be in General Yahui's house. My heart is completely reduced to a temporary resting place, the status is similar to that of a high-end hotel on Mount Monte, and it completely loses the sense of home.

He spends less time at home, and often only uses fixed areas, such as the bedroom upstairs, the study room, the living room on the first floor, and the sun room at the back of the house next to the grove.

As for the guest rooms, guest bathrooms, and small guest lounges, as a well-known person who doesn't like to entertain guests, even the living room is rarely used. It is not a last resort all the year round, and he will never greet guests to his home. For those with social autism, the "customer supply area" listed above is basically equivalent to the "well-known prohibited area" in Yahuiquan's house.

He has no guests, and he would not go to the guest room for a walk when he is free, let alone leave the familiar main bathroom unused when he is full, and run to use the guest bathroom without even a set of daily necessities on a whim.

So in this way, General Ya didn't know his home, and he didn't feel familiar at all when he saw the corner of the guest guard. He didn't know where it was, and thought it was a high-level resting place in the Monte star where Woxiu stayed. It turned out that it was something he could do.

Recognizing his home as a hotel, he quickly glanced at the background, feeling that his gaze had nowhere to rest between the "frank and open" Wo Xiu and the bathroom tiles, and nothing seemed right when he focused on it.

The unspeakable embarrassment mixed with the dissatisfaction of Wutong's missed calls, and the collision produced a chaotic effect that was enough to disturb people's minds, so Yahuiquan opened his mouth, but he wanted to divert his attention, but he tried to cover it up and said: "Why, it's the guest house arranged The specifications are unsatisfactory, and the hot water supply is actually limited, so foreign guests have to get into the bathroom at this point, or do you have a special habit of taking a bath in the evening?"

Wo Xiu didn't feel good if his eyes drifted away, so he just stared at Yahuiquan, who was on his face, and closed his eyes.

He blinked quickly, and silently tasted the power of General Pinya's eyes when he saw his house as a guest house, and he had to pretend to be calm on the surface: "Is it a special habit to take a bath in the evening? If you say this, you will be bathed in 'free time' members of the group' lashed out."

Ya Huiquan paused for a second: "...is there such a neuropathy team?"

"Yes." Wo Xiu replied without blushing.

He said in his heart that there was no such thing, he just made it up.

However, General Ya, who lacks life experience and doesn't pay attention to these strange and weird non-governmental organizations on a daily basis, listened to it. Although he felt that the universe is so big that there are really idlers everywhere, he actually believed it.

Yahuiquan, who was fooled by Shunli, frowned, and was about to ask Wo Xiu, "Do you still have time to join this kind of group?" Ask Wo Xiu how to make everyone equally busy, but the other party seems to have several times more free time, as if the other party has tried to dabble in all unpopular things, like a contemporary master of time management.

But Wo Xiu spoke before him, and seeing that Ya Huiquan had believed him, Wo Xiu's guilt surged, and he struggled with his conscience and said, "I'm sorry, I fell asleep that afternoon."

Falling asleep - this is the reason Wo Xiu found the best place to return the call in an emergency, and took the time to brainstorm, and finally came up with an explanation for why he didn't answer the phone.

This reason is very simple in objective evaluation. "I fell asleep" and "didn't see" and "something happened" can be listed as the three most commonly used excuses for human beings.

Looking at the tens of thousands of years of human civilization, personnel are changing, civilization is progressing, and technology is developing, but no matter the ancients or the modern people, the prevarication excuses that people are accustomed to use can be as constant as the stars.

Wo Xiu waited for Ya Huiquan to question him. He guessed that according to the usual bickering style of the two, General Ya's next sentence should be to continue picking on his thorns. Add all kinds of sarcasm to that well-featured face, and stab him with a half-sneer, saying something like "It's amazing that you woke up before it was dark" or "Why don't you just sleep longer and sleep better?" There will still be jet lag by tomorrow morning" or something like that.

Wo Xiu is ready.

Then he saw Yahuiquan and paused again.

Yahuiquan's brows were still frowning, but the look he cast towards Wo Xiu was neither sarcastic nor cold, his eyes even revealed part of his inner thoughts, and he looked over with silent concern.

"How long did you lie in the medical cabin yesterday?" Ya Huiquan asked, "Is it the residual effect of the medicine?"

Wo Xiu: "..."

There was no sign of the confrontation that was ready to meet, but the care that was awkwardly conveyed was caught off guard and bumped into it head-on, shaking the heart of the little liar who was acting against his conscience.

For a moment, Wo Xiu almost gave up his mind, he was so guilty that he wanted to confess on the spot, and quickly overturned the vest that he couldn't explain because of his momentary mistake-he was really only one Seconds did just that.

What stopped him was that he accidentally rubbed the back of his hand on the edge of the bathtub.

The coldness of the tentacles awakened Wo Xiu and brought his mind back to its original place.

He thought heavily: "No, even if you want to confess quickly and explain the ins and outs of the double identity, at least it must be on the premise that I have a pair of pants."

Just imagine, a "frank and frank" man suddenly tells you that he is at your house, and he is still your cat. Now you just go to the door of the bathroom full of shock and open the door-surprise!He's waiting for you in the bathroom!

……

...What the hell is this midnight limited-time show that minors are forbidden to watch?

Moreover, Wo Xiu dared to conclude that Yahuiquan would not be surprised if he staged such a show in someone's house without permission.

There is a greater probability that General Ya will listen to it with an unbelievable face, walk over to open the door with a face full of disbelief of "what are you farting", and then be stunned to the numbness to find that it is true, and then...

In this family there will be a family murder.

Wo Xiu is not afraid of murder, he knows he will have to bear this sooner or later.

But he has a small wish, he hopes that he can have a pair of pants to face the murder again.

For the sake of his trousers, Wo Xiu swallowed back the truth that he almost blurted out. He and Ya Huiquan had a random chat about the trip to the medical cabin, and his attitude inevitably leaked a trace of subtlety.

Ya Huiquan was looking at Wo Xiu, and he kept staring into each other's eyes. It was very easy for him to catch Wo Xiu's subtle emotional changes.

Yahuiquan saw Wo Xiu's subtlety, and he also pondered the reason, and then he thought: "Maybe it's because I didn't care about him like this in the past."

There is no person in this world who is better at deceiving than General Ya in a relaxed state. His deceitful index is simply amazing-he is not only easy to deceive, but also easy to be fooled by trusted objects, he can also automatically complete for others. Logic does not give others the opportunity to be caught by him.

In order to save time, Wo Xiu went directly into the guest room and changed his body. He talked with Yahuiquan on the phone in a rather indescribable state. The video window was locked above his chest. Yahuiquan misunderstood that he was going to take a bath in the evening. When taking advantage of the situation to deal with this misunderstanding, Wo Xiu actually had another consideration.

He thought that General Yiya, a member of the Star Alliance, was so particular, and that the other party was from Monte, which is said to be the most civilized planet, that a decent civilized person should not know that the other party is taking a bath, and keeps calling people, Right?

Wo Xiu estimated that the phone call would not last long after Yahuiquan learned that he was going to take a bath, but who knew that his estimation was wrong, besides mentioning about taking a bath at the beginning, Yahuiquan actually responded to this call later. The matter was left alone, and there was absolutely no intention of forgiving that his old nemesis was about to take a shower, so the conversation was cut short and the phone was hung up with dignity.

"What's going on?" Wo Xiu said in his heart, "Could it be that calling on the phone while taking a shower is a regular social situation on Montestar, which fits their local customs?"

But in fact, Ya Huiquan just forgot about it.

When Ya Huiquan first answered the phone, he was still paying attention to Wo Xiu and the bathroom. At that time, he wanted to divert his attention, and then he diverted his attention as he wished—and accidentally diverted his attention too successfully.

When General Ya had that comprehensible expression on his face, as if he had suddenly remembered something, Wo Xiu naively thought that this was the person who finally realized that something was wrong with making such a phone call, and their call would end without any risk. , I heard Ya Huiquan say: "That's right...you wait, I'll show you my cat."

Wo Xiu: "..."

Ya Huiquan remembered something—he remembered that he accidentally forgot about letting Wo Xiu watch Li Dandan.

He didn't notice Wo Xiu's suffocated expression on the other side of the communication screen at all. At that moment, he had already got up and turned his head, and walked to the kitchen where there should be a cat in theory.

"Isn't Li Dandan here?" Ya Huiquan, who didn't find the cat in the kitchen, was surprised.

Wo Xiu continued to suffocate on the other side of the communication screen.

Baili answered the host's question: "Mr. Li went to the bathroom."

Yahuiquan let out a "huh", and he started to walk towards the guest guard under Wo Xiu's gradually full eyes.

Baili noticed the communication screen on Yahuiquan's wrist, and the electronic housekeeper was more talkative, and asked one more question: "Master, who are you talking on the phone with?"

As Baili asked, the smart light on the wall next to him also moved, as if the gossiping artificial intelligence wanted to probe its brain and take a closer look at the master's terminal screen.

Wo Xiu just felt bad—Yahuiquan didn’t know his family, and there were many places in the house that he might not go to often, but Baili was different, the electronic housekeeper would not be as capricious as a human when doing housework, the other party was dedicated and hardworking , never miss a place in the house, he must be far more familiar with this house than Ya Huiquan.

The next moment, Wo Xiu didn't even think about the possibility of this being the end of it, Ya Huiquan's eyes were quick and his hands were quick - the young master took the initiative to move his personal terminal aside, and covered the screen so that the housekeeper could not see it.

"Did you read it?" Young Master Ya asked moodily, he raised his head and stared at the smart light sticking out of his head, "When did I give you the permission to observe my private communication at will?"

Baili was inexplicably fierce, and the smart lights flickered twice as if the current was unstable. As an AI who has helped people deal with countless personal letters, Baili seemed to be sending a big question mark with the light.

"Master." Baili said after a quick analysis of human behavior patterns, "With all due respect, your words and deeds just now are contrary to reality, and it seems that you have grown backwards, and suddenly sprouted a 'teenage heart' after many years of adulthood. "

Baili alluded to the fact that the master was like a minor, and he was emphasizing to his parents that it was time for him to have the right to privacy in communication.

Ya Huiquan understood, and he quickly glanced at the screen that was covered by him.

Out of the idea of ​​not wanting to quarrel with AI in front of Wo Xiu, General Ya finally endured the humiliation and put up with the electronic housekeeper's slander. He didn't talk nonsense to Bai Liduo again, only making sure that the other party would not continue to peep at his screen, so he Quickly walk to the bathroom where Li Dandan is.

It was rare for him to politely say "wait a moment" to Woxiu,

Wo Xiu didn't want to "wait a while" at all, but wished he could "wait forever".

When the figure of Yahuiquan approached the guest guard on the communication screen, Wo Xiu watched helplessly as the man walked out of the restaurant, turned into the corridor, and then turned around the corner at the end of the corridor, and stepped into the small corridor where the guest guard was located——

At the same time, in reality, Wo Xiu can still hear the sound of footsteps from far to near outside.

The ears of cats are extremely sensitive, and they can calculate the remaining distance between Yahuiquan and the guest guards in real time by listening.

Listening to this movement, Wo Xiu felt that he was not so nervous and stiff when he was about to detonate the natural disaster host.

At the critical moment, the elusive Baili suddenly appeared again.

Woxiu in the bathroom heard Baili say to Yahuiquan in the corridor: "I'm very sorry, young master, do you want to enter the guest bathroom when Mr. Li is using the toilet? I don't recommend you to do this, forcibly intervene in the other half." The 'bathroom hour' was outrageous and ruined the privacy that this should have had."

Yahuiquan didn't quarrel with Baili immediately, he and Wo Xiu in the bathroom made the same movement of quickly lowering the volume of the screen.

Ya Huiquan was very worried that Baili's words would be enlarged by the unlucky screen, so that Wo Xiu, who was waiting for him to find the cat, could hear him.

Wo Xiu was actually very flustered, fearing that if he listened carefully from Yahuiquan, he would find Baili's voice on the other side of the screen.

There was only a bathroom door, and they all pulled the screen to mute. The two of them looked at each other silently for a while, and neither of them spoke first—mainly because they were afraid that the opposite party would find out that it would be a silent movie after he spoke here.

In this awkward and awkward silence, Ya Huiquan's attention fell back to Wo Xiu. He secretly glanced at the person for a round. Under the circumstances, he looked left and right at the part of Wo Xiu in the mirror, and always felt that there was something wrong with it. After thinking about it again, he finally realized that something was wrong, and picked up the thing that he had diverted too much attention just now.

Woxiu...was he planning to take a bath before?

Yahuiquan: "..."

Yahuiquan was the first to turn the volume back on: "...Why don't you wash it first?"

General Ya's tone was particularly complicated, he was surprised and confused, but also tried his best to appear as if nothing had happened.

Wo Xiu's fingers seemed to press lightly on the edge of the terminal, and he hesitated for some reason.

"Okay." Wo Xiu said in a straightforward tone, "Then I'll contact you next time."

He and Yahuiquan looked at each other.

The two have their own ideas, but it is embarrassing that they will end up the same way.

"Damn it," they thought in unison as they hung up, "does he think I'm weird?"

But no matter what, Wo Xiu didn't have to face the bloody case without a pair of pants. He barely escaped the catastrophe. When he regained his identity as Li Dandan and slipped out of the bathroom in the body of a cat, he even experienced the rest of his life .

"You came out at this time." Yahuiquan was actively approached by the cat who came out of the bathroom. He stretched out his hand to hug Li Dandan, pinched the pair of small curved ears, "I was looking for you for a long time, and you Just as elusive as the guy who didn't answer the phone this afternoon."

Li Dandan: "..."

Li Dandan meowed with difficulty, trying to get this association out of people's minds as soon as possible.

Wo Xiu didn't think about how to ensure that there would be a problem with pants next time.

And because he said the phrase "next time contact", he soon found that he would pay the price for it——