perfect life

When he couldn't wake up, Chen Qiran wondered if he was still in the previous chaotic dream - He Zihan was lying on the bedside, and he had an IV in his hand.Chen Qiran stretched out his hand that was not connected to the drip to touch He Zihan's soft hair, thinking sourly, how long can he touch this soft hair?

Chen Qiran looked at He Zihan's slightly frowning brows with great nostalgia, thinking why did he frown?Is it because you are sick?

Then I felt that this kind of thinking was too narcissistic.He shook his head, trying to wake himself up, but suddenly had a headache.Just as Chen Qiran was frowning and thinking about what was going on with him, He Zihan woke up.

Seeing that Chen Qiran had sat up and leaned against the wall, He Zihan put a pillow on his back calmly. "You have a fever, don't catch a cold again."

This indifferent tone with slight anger made Chen Qiran have to wonder if he really disliked He Zihan now?Is he very reluctant to see himself?It's fine to see him by myself, he still lives in his house and has a high fever.

Thinking of this, Chen Qiran hurriedly said: "I'm sorry to trouble you, if you can, please give me a call, and I'll leave right away." As he spoke, he wanted to take toilet paper from the coat pocket on the chair, but He Zihan He stopped it.

"Don't move around, wait until the drip is finished first, and then talk about the rest." His tone was stiff, and there was still a little detectable anger.Chen Qiran knew that his visit this time really disturbed his life, so he didn't say much, but replied dully: "Oh, that's fine..."

He Zihan probably noticed that his tone was a bit too bad, so he adjusted his attitude a little bit, and asked, "Are you hungry? What do you want to eat?"

The tone of this question is much better than before.Hearing his question, Chen Qiran fell into deep thought again.

He really didn't know what was going on with him right now.Not to mention my weakness and dizziness, my sense of taste and hunger are far away from me.After 2 minutes of silence, he murmured, "I'm not very hungry..."

He Zihan heard him like this, without saying a word, stood up and walked out.When he brought it to the door, he moved a little too much, Chen Qiran didn't know what made him unhappy with his answer.Looking at the back of He Zihan who disappeared the moment the door was closed, Chen Qiran couldn't help feeling a little heavy again.

During this period of time, he was busy with Chen's affairs, and he was a bit exhausted both physically and mentally.While sending people to look for He Zihan with all their strength, he worked desperately to numb the feeling that he would go crazy if he missed him.

In the past, because I had been exercising all the time, my body was considered healthy, and I didn't catch a cold once a year.Since the gunshot wound, I have been feeling tired easily and getting sick more easily than before.Chen Qiran didn't know if his symptoms were the sequelae of the shooting, or because he was 23 years old now and his body functions were not as good as before.

Thinking back to yesterday, I just waited in the rain for a while, and in this summer, it is reasonable to have a cold and fever, but now I have such a splitting headache, what is going on? !The physical discomfort made Chen Qiran panic, he didn't know whether he should go to the hospital for a thorough physical examination.If I have some disease, can I still promise He Zihan: "No matter what difficulties, I can be myself at any time"?The smooth and cold touch on He Zihan's neck yesterday was still in his memory, but Chen Qiran knew that he might never touch that touch again in his life.

He Zihan's attitude towards him just now was obviously a little annoying.I don't know if I can only keep these bad memories between myself and him.Leaning against the wall, Chen Qiran fell asleep again after a while.

When he was shaken awake, Chen Qiran realized that it was already dark.

Seeing He Zihan sitting in front of him with frowning eyebrows, and a bowl of porridge on the table not far from the bed, Chen Qiran said very apologetically, "I'm sorry to delay your day."

"Stop talking and eat."

As He Zihan said that, he brought over the bowl of porridge, and Chen Qiran took it, only to find that the porridge was warm, it must have cooled for a while.

When the two lived together before, He Zihan always put food directly into his mouth, Chen Qiran was afraid that he would be hot and waited until it was warm before calling him to eat.Now holding this warm porridge in my hand, I don't know why I feel a little emotional.

After finishing a bowl of light vegetable porridge, Chen Qiran felt like going to the toilet.After handing the job bowl to He Zihan, he struggled to get up and go to the bathroom, but was held back by the other party.

"Where are you going?"

"bathroom."

"You can't stand firmly now, can't you stop being brave? I'll help you go!"

He Zihan doesn't know what's wrong this day, he always speaks with thorns.

Chen Qiran couldn't figure out what he had done to make him unhappy - did he really make him so angry when he came here this time?Thinking of this, I can't help but feel a little sad.It turns out that in He Zihan's eyes, he is such a character that he despises.

With the help of He Zihan, he went into the bathroom, and after being helped by him to solve his physical problems, Chen Qiran was helped back to the bedroom by him.

Chen Qiran hesitated for a moment, but he still asked, "My illness, what is it..."

"Cold and fever, most people will be cured by taking some medicine, but you have three bottles of drips, but it doesn't help. I don't know if your medicine was too good before, you developed antibodies to common medicines, or some other reason. You still have a high fever now. No retreat."

"It's not necessarily a drug problem. My body's resistance has declined a little over the past few years." Chen Qiran felt exhausted after saying these few words, and his body was covered in cold sweat—he didn't see his almost pale face.

He Zihan thought for a while, and said, "You will live here, the family with the phone has recently gone to the city."

"Well, that's fine. Then I'll bother you for a few more days." Chen Qiran said politely, but unexpectedly found that He Zihan's frown deepened when he spoke.

Chen Qiran thought back on what he said just now, there seemed to be nothing wrong, every sentence was very appropriate, but what made He Zihan feel uncomfortable?Is it because he is inconvenient because he is sick?

Thinking of this, Chen Qiran hurriedly added: "I won't stay here for too long, I'll call Zhang Ping to pick me up as soon as I'm done. If you have something to do during this time, go and do it, I'm fine."

"If you don't speak, no one will think you are dumb." He Zihan suddenly said bitterly.

Chen Qiran was completely dumbfounded by the harsh tone he had never had before.

At this time, Sister Yang knocked on the door, and He Zihan walked out. The two seemed to have reached the kitchen, but they deliberately lowered their voices. Chen Qiran couldn't hear what they said at all.Thinking that the husband and wife probably had something to discuss with an outsider like him, Chen Qiran couldn't help but feel a pang of sadness in his heart.

When did he become a stranger and an extra in He Zihan's family? !This feeling is really terrible.I don't know if it's because of a cold and fever or something else, but Chen Qiran felt that the corners of his eyes were moist, as if he was about to cry.

Before He Zihan came back, he quickly wiped the corners of his eyes to make himself look a little normal.As soon as he sorted out his expression, He Zihan came back again.As soon as he entered the door, he said: "I spoke to you a little too aggressively just now, so don't take it to heart."

"Well, it's fine."

Chen Qiran responded, and saw He Zihan took out a few books from the closet on one side and stuffed them into his hands, namely "15 Years of Wanli", "General History of the World", "Annotations of the Book of Songs", "Lin Qingxuan's Essays".

Chen Qiran looked at He Zihan blankly, and the latter explained: "You are very ill, and you will be on a drip for a few days. You have probably read all these books, but I don't have any more books here, so you will Just take a look, it's good to pass the time." Only then did Chen Qiran realize that He Zihan was afraid that he would be bored, and was deeply moved by his consideration for him. "Don't settle for it, it's good to read these books a few more times."

He Zihan turned his head a little embarrassed by what he said, scratched the back of his head and said, "Then watch, I'm going to help the baby take a bath."

"Oh, good."

Only then did Chen Qiran recover from the short-lived sweetness just now - He Zihan is a family man now, and he actually takes care of him like an ordinary friend, right?Maybe it's not even an ordinary friend, maybe it's just to repay the kindness I gave him at the beginning.

Thinking of the word "repay", Chen Qiran felt a dull pain in his chest.

Back then, he just couldn't be sure if He Zihan really loved him.On the afternoon when he sent the bento to Incheon Middle School, Chen Qiran saw the future between the two of them with He Zihan's words "I don't want you to give up".

He had always thought that He Zihan was just accepting his feelings passively, because he did use some tricks beforehand to let him move in to live with him, and He Zihan also showed a very passive look in many things afterwards.

That day Chen Qiran made up his mind: even if he lost everything, he would still protect He Zihan.He returned to Chen's old house, and told the old lady of Chen's idea of ​​giving up his heir status, but he didn't expect that old woman to imprison him so decisively.

No matter how I think about what happened afterwards, I feel sad. I finally felt He Zihan's feelings for me. Before I could get drunk, I was hit by the cruel reality and almost couldn't live.

Chen Qiran has always firmly believed that He Zihan's love for him had already been strangled by his grandma when it first sprouted.Although I later heard Luo Shan talk about how she went to talk to He Zihan that day, and also felt He Zihan's firm attitude at that time, but now it seems that it is completely different from what it used to be.

Three years, plus that one persecution, most people have already completely forgotten about the person who hurt them, right?

What's more, after I returned to China, I still treated him coldly. Although Lu Senyang, who really suspected He Zihan, was together at that time, he was jealous, which led to his attitude towards He Zihan after reading books. In this way, He Zihan It's only natural to ignore yourself.

Now that he has settled down, married and had children with Sister Yang, and lived the best life, but he appeared in front of him again, anyone would be angry, right?

Chen Qiran thought about it and pulled out a self-deprecating smile.He didn't know why he had the extravagant hope that He Zihan would still love him, and that he still had himself in his heart.

He had suffered so much for himself, and it was good enough not to hate himself now, what more could he ask for?

He is already happy, isn't that enough?

All other sufferings should not be borne by myself. Since I fell in love first, I should also clean up this feeling by myself.

The baby's laughter came from the bathroom, and Chen Qiran realized that he was really superfluous in this place.

He expects his body to get better soon, so that he can get out of here soon.

This is He Zihan's Xanadu, his new world, and he shouldn't be here.