perfect life

When Chen Qiran felt someone beside him that night, he thought he was hallucinating.

The even breathing of that person's warm body was so clear, the person lying next to him was clearly He Zihan.Chen Qiran didn't know why He Zihan continued to sleep with him, wasn't he afraid of catching a cold?Why don't you sleep with Sister Yang and the baby?

Although he knew that the thoughts in his mind actually made his heart ache, but Chen Qiran couldn't help but think about these issues.He wanted to understand everything about He Zihan, no matter what it was.

Because I slept too much during the day, I was more energetic at night than usual.

Chen Qiran stretched out his hand, wanting to touch He Zihan's face but afraid of waking him up.Chen Qiran had no idea what he would say or do after he woke up.Now He Zihan is no longer the person who was easy to figure out at the beginning, he has his own thoughts in his heart, and he has no way to figure out his thoughts.

The moonlight outside shines in through the window, Chen Qiran has not seen such a beautiful moon for many years.Maybe it was because he was in the countryside, or maybe it was because He Zihan was sleeping next to him, Chen Qiran felt a wave of heat flowing through his heart, as if his whole body was refreshed by the moonlight.

He Zihan faced Chen Qiran, his whole face appeared clearly in the latter's eyes because of the moonlight.

Chen Qiran raised his hand, through the moonlight, the reflection of that hand was reflected on He Zihan's face, starting from his eyebrows, from top to bottom, followed by nose, lips, and chin, the touch of each place was so clear Imprinted in my mind, because of the current actions, the memories of the past also came out, as if I was really touching He Zihan's face.

Chen Qiran stared blankly at He Zihan's sleeping face, wanting to kiss and hug him.Although now he finally has enough ability to protect him, but he chose to leave himself before he became strong enough.

This choice cannot be blamed on him, Chen Qiran knew very well.

The person who fell asleep in front of him suddenly opened his eyes, Chen Qiran blinked, then blinked again, just when he thought he was dreaming, He Zihan suddenly spoke.

"How long are you going to watch?"

Hearing what he said, Chen Qiran knew that he had probably woken up for a while.It wasn't the first time to peek at him sleeping, but this time, for some reason, it made people feel blush and heartbeat.It's been so many years, Chen Qiran doesn't understand why he always looks embarrassed when facing He Zihan.

He Zihan saw that he didn't respond, and urged him again: "Hey, talk." The tone was a bit fierce, but there was no unfriendly atmosphere at all.It seems to be back four years ago, when He Zihan started to get jealous and bicker with himself.

Chen Qiran smiled helplessly, and then replied: "I want to keep watching."

He Zihan raised his eyebrows and asked back, "Why do you keep watching?"

As soon as these words came out, Chen Qiran fell into intoxication again.He didn't know how to answer He Zihan's question, he had no right to keep looking at this man's sleeping face.He is just He Zihan's past, and there is no place for him in that person's present and future.

Chen Qiran looked deeply at He Zihan for a while, then got up and got out of bed.Because the curtains were not drawn, the moon was at its brightest at this time, and everything in the house was clearly visible.

Chen Qiran picked up the clothes on the chair, put them on neatly, then put on his shoes, turned his back to He Zihan and said, "You have worked hard these past few years." After speaking, he opened the door and walked out.

The air in the courtyard is very fresh, and the countryside with the bright moonlight is very charming.However, Chen Qiran is not in the mood to appreciate the so-called moonlight and scenery, he just wants to leave quickly.

Although I have no idea what route Zhang Ping took to drive here that day, but walking along the main road, I can always reach a town with a relatively concentrated population. When I get there, there will be a phone call, and then I will call Zhang Ping to pick it up. go back by yourself.

Walking alone on the road, he was sent back to his biological mother by his father when he was a child, and the memory of being locked up in a house without food suddenly came out.At that time, the extremely depressive loneliness returned to him. Although Chen Qiran was unwilling to admit it in his heart—he always thought that he had a strong enough psychological quality, but at this moment, he just wanted to find someone who no one would see. Place to have a good cry.

Over the years, whenever he was helpless and lonely, he would always think of what He Zihan said to himself in the park that year.He said remember to be happy, he said to be happy...

However, this person has completely left his own world now, hasn't he?

Thinking of this, Chen Qiran quickened his pace again.He knew that He Zihan would not catch up, but he was very afraid that he would go back and do something uncontrollable.

He didn't want to hurt He Zihan anymore, and he didn't want to disturb his peaceful life - the prerequisite for achieving such an effect was to leave his home immediately.

Chen Qiran started running in the aisle at midnight, only such intense exercise could suppress the feeling of emptiness in his heart, and he could feel that he was still alive, a living person...

He never thought that He Zihan would leave him one day.Before, he was always too conceited, always thinking that everything could be controlled by himself, thinking that He Zihan was still the helpless young man before, if he stretched out his hand, he would come to the seat next to him.

But he was so wrong.

Although He Zihan's achievements in M ​​University are very proud, and although the core part of the work he did in Lu's was not investigated, the projects that He Zihan participated in always brought huge benefits to Lu's.

Seeing such an excellent He Zihan, I was actually very happy in my heart.My lover has always been outstanding, but I haven't met anyone who makes him shine before.However, now that he has really become so good, the panic in his heart also ensues.He Zihan has wings and can leave him at any time...

No, he has left himself.

When Chen Qiran was tired, he stopped and continued walking. The chaotic thoughts in his mind made him dizzy and swollen, and his breathing became difficult—he forgot that he had a fever.

The mind is like a glass ball, thrown high into the air, it immediately falls to the ground and shatters into pieces.He knew that the damage he suffered was less than one-tenth of what He Zihan suffered back then.Now that I have become so sad, how did He Zihan survive in the past?

When he is sad, who is there by his side?

When he is happy, who will share it with him?

Maybe there are his classmates in the university, maybe there is Lu Senyang, but there is no one of him at all.

In this way, I missed the brilliant four years of He Zihan's life, and because of this blankness, I lost him forever——Chen Qiran wanted to laugh, laugh at his own stupidity and arrogance, laugh at the injustice of God to him, why did he die when he was young? Is loneliness going to reappear again?

Could it be that he really can only live his whole life alone like this?

Why did I and He Zihan become like this today?Why does the former lover now have a new family with someone else, and he has completely become a burden in his life? !

Chen Qiran felt something warm slide over his cheeks, he couldn't believe it was tears - since he was sent to Chen's old house, he never cried again.A man cannot cry, a man who cries is a coward!

There was a sound of footsteps behind him.Chen Qiran thought it was some anxious passer-by, and didn't pay attention, but his body was suddenly hugged tightly, and the real touch from his body told him that the person behind him was clearly He Zihan.

Chen Qiran forgot to clean up his expression, forgot that the secretary should turn around and embrace him, but just stood there quietly, letting He Zihan hold him.

When He Zihan pulled his body hard and brought the two of them face to face, Chen Qiran was stunned—why did He Zihan look angry and anxious?

"Are you going to the town in the middle of the night?!"

"Um……"

"Do you have any brains! You have a high fever, 39 degrees, do you want to die?! Chen Qiran, do you want to die that much?!" He Zihan was almost yelling, his eyes were red under the moonlight, like an angry lion.

"Sub-Han……"

"Don't call me! You go, don't come back! You go..."

He Zihan burst into tears as he spoke, and stepped forward to hug Chen Qiran tightly.Chen Qiran tied him gently, stroking his soft hair.There was a warm feeling on his chest, and he knew that He Zihan was crying in his arms.

The two of them didn't talk anymore, He Zihan hugged Chen Qiran, vented all the grievances of the past few years, wiped his nose and tears on his white shirt, and didn't care whether he had suitable clothes to change.Chen Qiran noticed his movements, smiled helplessly, and said, "What's wrong with you, you're crying like this, what happened?"

He Zihan immediately raised his head when he heard the words, and seeing Chen Qiran's eyes full of bewilderment and confusion, he stepped forward angrily and blocked his lips with his own.He was really afraid that Chen Qiran would say something that would break him down.

After four years of kissing, the two who almost forgot the feeling of kissing seemed to be inexperienced.Gently pecking the other's lips, He Zihan took the initiative to stick his tongue into Chen Qiran's mouth, and drove straight in the moment he was stunned.