Ji Yu

When I woke up in the morning, Qiyu was no longer there.I don't know when he left. I slept soundly last night because of my drunkenness.

I also gradually remembered our conversation last night, or my unilateral venting.I said it too harshly, it's a little too much.But having said it, I have nothing to regret.

After breakfast, I asked the housekeeper to prepare a carriage for me and went to visit Gu Shao.In any case, since you are back, you must report to him.By the way, let the housekeeper send some of my things to the old house.Although I haven't discussed it clearly with Qiyu, I don't want to live in this empty mansion anymore.

"It looks much calmer, has gained knowledge outside?"

I nodded, "Read thousands of books and travel thousands of miles. There are so many people in the world, and they have all kinds of things. I have benefited a lot from this trip."

Gu Shao nodded, "You are very good. You have a low-key personality and can do practical things, which is exactly what His Royal Highness Qin Wang needs. Do you still want to live in this small Lecheng? As long as you intend to enter the court, what are you worried about? None of those obstacles will be a problem."

"Thank you sir for your appreciation. But Ji Yu doesn't want to be in the temple, he would rather die in the countryside."

He stared at me for a while, nodded, and said nothing.

After leaving his house and getting into the carriage, all the muscles in my body relaxed.Just now I have been watching his expression carefully, wanting to see if he has any signs of doing something to me and Qiyu, and wondering if he has any malice towards us after I rejected his proposal.But I didn't see anything. He was too scheming, and I couldn't see through it.

But as for his proposal for me to enter the court, I didn't take it seriously.I have no family background, and secondly, I am just a juren, and I don't have a talent or reputation.Moreover, there is a disgraceful history.How could the King of Qin take such an unknown pawn like me seriously.

On the contrary, if I can achieve success in court, maybe I can help Gu Shao to some extent.There is only King Qin behind him, and the other people around King Qin... Because of his ten years of humiliation, I am afraid that not everyone will look down on him.What's more, he has no future in officialdom.He does need allies and help.

I sighed, rubbed my aching head from last night's drunkenness, and took the carriage back to the old house.

Dinner was a few home-cooked dishes made by Mrs. Chen, and it was only when she moved her chopsticks that Qiyu came.

He has always been flamboyant, although he has not put on powder or makeup since he left the Liu Mansion, nor has he worn those clothes that look like women's clothing, but he has always dressed luxuriously.It just so happened that he himself was in the silk business.

Today he looks very refreshed.The clothes don't have so many embroidery patterns, and the style is very simple.No more of those messy smells.

I looked at him a little more in surprise, and asked Mrs. Chen to add an extra pair of bowls and chopsticks, "Let's eat."

He sat down in silence and ate in silence.

"Why only eat vegetables and tofu? Have a bad appetite?"

"No, I want to eat fast for a while."

Vegetarian?After all, he came from a low family background, unlike those from aristocratic families who even use famous tea to rinse their mouths and are tired of eating everything, he and I have both temperaments.I was more surprised to hear him talk about fasting than he said he liked women.

"Are you going to become a monk?"

"No. I'm going to fast and take a bath. And... well... I've seen a doctor, and I'm not sick..."

I, "...", coughed twice, "...that's good."

He continued to eat in silence.

"That... fasting is unnecessary." A man in his prime who eats vegetables and tofu every day is not without energy.

He looked up at me, still silent.Strange, a 30-year-old man, how can his eyes still be watery?Still feeling wronged?What is he wronged?I didn't say not to let him eat meat.

I gave him a chicken leg, "Eat meat."

He didn't have any integrity, so he gnawed it with relish.It left me speechless, I thought he would at least argue a few words and stick to his point of view for a while.

Later I also realized that if I hadn’t given it to him, he would have been a vegetarian.This is forcing me to serve him food.

I have never disliked his carefulness.

Sighing, while eating, he brought food for him.Just like when we first settled down in Lecheng.It's a pity that I got a big house later, and when I was eating, there was a maid waiting by the table, so I didn't have to pick up the food myself, I just had to look at what I wanted to eat.

He stayed at night, not in the same room as me, but in his original room that hadn't been used much.After returning from the trip, I was actually very tired physically and mentally. After reading a book in the room for a while, I fell asleep.

"pounding"

"Who? What?"

"It's me..." Qiyu sighed outside the door.

I also sighed in the room.Want to talk to me?I'm already sleepy and in no mood to talk.And my own mood is also divided into two halves, half of which is because I am not worth it, and I want to break up with him completely.The other half couldn't bear to leave it behind, he was the only person related to me in this world.

Of course I can leave here and go to the Northwest to live a happy life.Maybe in a year or two I will be able to marry a wife and have children there, and have friends and brothers.Then it's like that forever.Such a life is beautiful.

But thinking that Qiyu has nothing to do with me anymore, if there is no accident, I will never see him again for the rest of my life.My discomfort is certain.

He let me down.But I haven't been disappointed to the extent that I want to see him for the rest of my life.

I didn't think about it myself, so how could I talk to him?

Seeing no response from me, he knocked on the door again.

"...Come in, what's the matter?"

He came to the bed, but did not sit down by the bed.He kept his distance from me all day today, and didn't touch me at all. I think I stabbed him when I said he was dirty yesterday.However, this is also good.I really don't want to have physical contact with him, I feel awkward.

"You just came back yesterday. You must have had a hard time traveling. May I give you a massage?"

I was startled.He learned some things in the brothel, massage is one of them.He used to give me massages a lot.But then I got busy, and the last time I had a massage was four or five years ago.So much so that I almost forgot about his massage skills.

"Okay", I turned over and lay down on the bed. I was naked before, but now I don't intend to take off my underwear.

It was so comfortable that I fell asleep unconsciously, not knowing when he left.When I woke up, I felt refreshed and in good spirits.

Today I am going to visit my teacher in name, and I have to give a gift. This is the etiquette.

In fact, every time I settle down in a place, I will buy some gifts for Qiyu, including expensive jade pendants, and straw woven things worth a few cents.I don't value value, it's just a commemorative meaning.He didn't travel with me, so I plan to tell him about the people and things I met during the trip when I get back.

But now, I am no longer in the mood to give gifts and tell stories.

Those little things, still in the corner of the case, hadn't been unpacked at all.There is probably no chance to send it out.

I really want to be nice to him, and my eyes are a little wet.Although I have been calm on the surface for the past two days, it seems that my heart is not uncomfortable at all, but I can't lie to myself.

People can use thousands of words to persuade others, but they can't control themselves when facing their own affairs.

I have always known his temperament, and I have always been mentally prepared for the recent situation.But in my heart, it has always been "possible".I always hold out hope that I won't be disappointed.

In fact, I have been looking forward to it.

When it came time to face this result that I "anticipated" a long time ago, no matter how many years of mental preparation I had made, I was still not ready.

Whether it was his distrust of me or his physical betrayal, it made me sick as hell.

I can see clearly, but I can't keep myself from being sad.

Qiyu, Qiyu.He didn't trust me in the past, but it will be difficult for me to trust him in the future.

Although I knew his temper and temperament before, even though he ignored me, I still believed that he had feelings for me.After that, even though I believed he had feelings for me, I could no longer trust him to be faithful to me.

Can't believe it anymore.