all things

It was like finishing a mission, thinking about going back to the city that night.

No matter how reluctant, his father's matter has come to an end, and there are still a lot of follow-up stalls left, waiting for him to solve them one by one. He entered the house in the dark in the middle of the night, and he was so tired that he collapsed on the floor before the lights could be turned on. I picked up a salted fish—the one that was discarded.

The moonlight hangs coldly on the window sill, illuminating the exhausted young man.

The door of the study room was open, and the dark doorway seemed to be the entrance of a tunnel connected to the mysterious time and space. When I closed my eyes, I felt as if there were shadows floating in the emptiness.

He saw his father stubbed out the cigarette in his hand, threw the student handbook on him, and shouted: "Have you taken care of it? I'll take it for you, pack up your things, don't go anywhere this winter vacation, go back to your hometown and be honest." Then, when will you make up your homework, and when will you come to negotiate with me again."

Shen Yunjia came out of the kitchen with a jar of meat, and hurriedly reprimanded him, "Eat first, what can't I save for later? Xiaoxiang, come and help with the bowls and chopsticks, ignore your dad!"

……

Brilliance circulates, people gather and disperse, yesterday was harmonious and beautiful, but now the room is full of desolation.

The room is still the same room, but it is not full of people, so it suddenly changes, it is very strange.

He lay with his eyes open, his brain empty, and the icy cold air penetrated into his body bit by bit from under his body through layers of clothing. The sudden relaxation did not bring him comfort. The stomach that hadn't eaten half of it twitched almost convulsively at this moment. The boy seemed to be in severe pain, and his legs slowly bent. They didn't bend when the blade of judgment that related to the fate of his father's second life fell. Half of his back suddenly collapsed, and he curled up on the cold and hard floor, as if he was covering his stomach that was throbbing with pain, or as if he simply wanted to hug himself tightly.

A long-distance bus trip of more than five hours is not enough to really drain a young man who is most energetic at the time, but his whole body shows a kind of almost extreme fatigue, which is huge. The sadness that grew from the bottom of his heart until the swarms gushed out broke through restraint and gathered into a huge net, binding him so that he couldn't move.

He bought the ticket and came back alone.

When he left the court, he saw Shen Yunjia.

At that time, she was standing on the stairs in the vestibule of the court, talking to a man, and trying to have a relationship with the man.

In the Shen family, Shen Yunjia's eldest brother.

During the court trial, Big Brother Shen was sitting next to Shen Yunjia. His father was right, after all, they were all his own children, and the fetters of blood relatives were there.What happened to Bian Zhenhua this time, isn't it a great opportunity to persuade him to return?

Bian Zhenhua's explanation was intended to untie Bian Xiang's knot in Shen Yunjia's heart, and also hinted that he was happy to accept her departure at this moment.Shen Yunjia followed her without hesitation in the golden age of her youth, but now she is pregnant, but as her husband, she has fallen so far. Even if the child in her belly is born, he will not be able to fulfill his duties and care as a father , and have to worry about the problems that children will inevitably face when they grow up in the future-a father who is notoriously dishonorable.

Instead of this, why not take this opportunity to let each other out.

That's the best way to handle it for everyone, even if it's supposed to be the hardest one in the meantime.

"My son, are you afraid of being alone?" He asked and thought.

With Bian Zhenhua's words as the bottom line, what kind of dialogue between the two people will have been expected, but there is still a certain difference between the actual seeing and the foreseeing assumption, and I thought I was calm enough, but when this When the scene unfolded as expected, he felt dazed and helpless for no reason.

Shen Yunjia is gone, and there may be no younger brother, so he is still the only son of the old man, and no one can come and grab the old man...

Although he made a particularly ugly circle, it was obvious that the development of the matter had faintly moved towards the direction he originally expected, so why couldn't he relax?

Not knowing what kind of posture he should take to meet the preset result, he only had time to hastily stop his steps, and flashed into the shadows under the cover of the wall pillars.

The two brothers and sisters looked alike, and they were talking about something seriously, thinking that they were only a few steps away from them, but the wavelength of their conversation seemed to exceed what he knew. The threshold that can be received, except for the opening and closing of the mouth, he can't hear half a word.

—He pushed against the wall in frustration, finally turned around and ran away alone.

That's it, he thought, such a knowing parting is better than bitter and bitter accusations.

He dressed like this, and spent the night on the ground in a daze. The temperature became lower and lower at night. He took off his woolen coat and put it on, and he was still cold. He sniffed and sneezed again. I can still hear his old man and his aunt Jia's "mixed doubles", one reprimanded the other and blamed each other, and they cooperated seamlessly. He suffered.

……

As soon as it was dawn, he opened his eyes. After being paralyzed on the ground all night, his whole body was sore. After he got up, he pressed his neck and shook his head. After going to the toilet to wash, he changed his clothes and went downstairs. Good morning workout.

The hands of the big clock directly above the teaching building in Luzhong had just turned an obtuse angle of 150 degrees, and the last mouthful of steamed stuffed bun happened to be swallowed into the esophagus with soy milk, and he happened to meet the horse killing the chicken who was walking to the school gate with the red hoop on duty.

Thinking about when he was still the squad leader, he went to various departments of the school, even the big boss of the discipline office was one of the leaders of his daily communication. He was wearing a full set of ceremonial clothes today, with a clean white shirt and a straight coat. , thinking that her grooming is neat and tidy to every wrinkle, and there is no place where she can be nitpicked. At the moment, she didn't hide or evade, and said "Hello, teacher" to her in a full-fledged way.

In the end, because the collar of the shirt was not turned up properly, he was caught and trained a few words in a decent manner.

Ma Shaji, who was only as tall as his chest, personally pressed the corner of the collar for him face to face, and said with a straight face, "Be brave, only fools will give up on themselves, and there are no fools among us."

He was taken aback for a moment, then quickly smiled, Ma Shaji raised his eyelids and gave him a look, then went back to his own business.

He just came to class today, and he missed a few days of homework. The affairs of the Bian family are not a secret. Sister Chun didn't rush him at this time, so he didn't panic. There was a list of things to do. What should I do? , Make up the leave, get the book to copy the schedule, and help the new monitor to go through the work report to be submitted in the new semester when it is empty.

At the end of last semester, it was probably really frustrating. Sister Chun stopped talking to him directly and silently increased the frequency of classroom inspections that day, paying extra attention to him without any trace.

He didn't seem to notice.

There were not many classes left behind, so he borrowed notes from the school committee, and copied them quickly, he was busy writing non-stop all day after class, today he has a physics class, and Lao Hu is still leading it, the little old man came in and saw him He just stared at Blowing Beard, he giggled, and shouted flatteringly, "Long time no see, teacher!"

The cold wave is gradually passing and the temperature is getting warmer. A class of more than 50 people are stuffy in the classroom with their doors and windows closed. The carbon dioxide concentration cannot drop. Everyone is busy and sleepy. I couldn't stop pushing the window open, and the coolness came in, dispelling the sleepy bugs in time.

While thinking about it, he was still lying on his stomach and burying his head in copying. The clear tears were hanging precariously on his nose under the action of gravity. He poked the back of the female student at the front desk without raising his head, and asked for two tissues to stuff his nostrils. At last the breach was blocked.

He didn't put him down when the cold snap was raging, but he couldn't escape when the temperature returned.

A cold will only be late, but never absent.

The student handbook with a red cover and a stack of final test papers appeared in his sight. He looked up, and Yu Jinle was standing in front of his desk, leaning forward slightly, with his middle and index fingers together, holding the stack of paper materials and saying to him: , "Return to the original owner."

Thinking about the tissue still stuffed in his nostrils, he opened his mouth wide for a long time and said "Ah" as an answer, looking quite silly.

The two looked at each other for less than three seconds, and he suddenly looked away as if he had suddenly realized something, and the atmosphere suddenly became awkward. Yu Jinle still maintained that movement, and he held back for a long time before letting out a cry, "Thank you !"

His brain and body have been overloaded recently, and there is no extra space to think about other things. He seems to be divided into two different worlds. There was no distraction in the center of the pagoda, until now when he was facing Yu Jinle, those dark eyes seemed to be wrapped in layers of deep affection.

The memory that seemed to be interrupted suddenly continued, and the huge amount of information rolled up, and I felt a "buzz" in my mind as I thought about it, and I felt the feeling of a cerebral infarction in advance.

It's hard to describe what kind of mood it was, probably a little apprehensive, but also a little curious, wanting to get a glimpse of this unique and secret emotion, and even with a secret secret joy. Thinking that this person could be equated with the word "like", I couldn't help but burst into bubbles in my heart.

Thinking about stuffing tissues in his nostrils, and stubbornly insisting on his seemingly unsightly calmness on the surface, in fact, thousands of villains have already formed in his heart, stepping back and forth on the soft flesh of the atrium and ventricle, going up Jumped up and down many times back and forth.

He was still thinking about what kind of posture he should take to face Jin Le, who would have thought that a cold and ruthless head would be dumped in the next second——

Yu Jinle took a deep look at him, turned around and left after the things were delivered.

While thinking: "..."

Chen Miaomiao and his party stood at the door of the classroom, and they walked away after Yu Jinle passed by.

Standing on this corner of the obscure emotion that I peeked out from, thinking about it, before I had time to pay more attention, I was hurriedly drawn into a mess of trivial matters that I had to face squarely.

Whether he likes it or not, the law of human needs cannot be violated, and physiological needs are above any other needs. Compared with the need for warmth and belonging, this is not enough for teenagers. It’s not that it’s insignificant. Being cautious and serious, at this stage, he has no time and no qualifications to take care of it.

He didn't want to adopt the suggestion provided by the old side, it was boring.

Firstly, his second uncle's family was not well-off, and Bian Zhenhua did not give them any help when he was at his best. Now that he wants to go there, it is not simply a matter of having an extra mouth and a pair of bowls and chopsticks; He went back alone, didn't he indirectly expose Shen Yunjia's departure?

Perhaps others will know of her departure sooner or later, but at least, this time point can be avoided.

Bian Zhenhua explained to him the reason for the child in Shen Yunjia's womb, saying that there was no conflict was false, and he himself didn't know what attitude he should take to face Shen Yunjia and the child in her womb.The hostility started from the anger towards the monopoly of father's love and the broken promise, but now that the Bian family is in such a situation, how can he care about it?On the contrary, Bian Zhenhua's explanation gave him a sense of guilt that was very contrary to the law. Driven by this sense of guilt, he found that when he was considering the follow-up, he would also consider Shen Yunjia.

He considered a lot, and envisioned many forms of the future situation, and finally chose to stay in Yucheng, at least, finish high school.

Only the last year and a half is left, where should I go?

Lao Bian has to go to the land in northern Guangdong. If there is no accident, he will spend the next 15 and a half years there. As the only son, he will definitely not go far. The most ideal state in the future is that he will test the province The university in the city, the provincial capital has convenient transportation, the location is central, and it is convenient to go anywhere in Guangdong Province.

Now that he has decided to stay in the city for the time being, the first thing to do is to find a place to stay.

The house I live in now is a public dormitory. Before the judgment, the old side was a "suspect" and they could live there temporarily, but it will be different after the verdict. The public house must be returned.

It's easy to say, the things are listed out, but you won't know your ignorance until you actually get started.

The first month has not yet passed, and it was already dark before six o'clock. With limited cash in his pocket, he stood on the side of the road in a daze. He had to go to class during the day, and the search for a rental house could only be done after school, but the time came. He didn't even know where to find rental information.

Don't care about everything, don't worry about spending money, Mr. Bian, who only needs to worry about which clothes go with which shoes and which watch to wear every day, never thought that one day he would have to stand on the side of the road and worry about his housing problems?

There are small slips of house rental on the telephone poles, and there are markers on the billboards at the bus stop that read "Contact XXXXXX for renting". He looked at the renting information in a cloud. He thought this was a liar, and that looked like a scam. And those small intermediaries scattered in the streets, where had he come into contact with?

His idea is very simple, just find a house near the school, with one bedroom and one living room, simple decoration, quiet and bright, complete with basic appliances, and able to move in with a bag, but when he finally chooses a real estate agency with a little appearance and recommends After opening that door, he realized how naive he was, and this "casual" one was really not casual at all.

The area where the middle school, the fifth middle school, and the eighth middle school meet. The key middle schools of the city and the district all occupy places here. It is the area with the highest density of middle schools in the urban area of ​​the city. The main road passes through the door, and the traffic is convenient and smooth. There are also farmers' markets, small commodity streets and snack streets nearby. Many families are unwilling to move to new houses in the new district for this reason.

It is not an exaggeration to say that this is the most prosperous city center.

Wanting to find a house to rent in such a piece of land, how could it be something that a single boy with little cash could afford?He doesn't know anything, and it's the first time he's even heard of a clause like "pay one for three", so how can he know more details?

An eye-catching house, a one-bedroom, one-living room, with a minimum rent of [-] a month, three deposits, and half of the monthly rent as an intermediary fee. That's [-], which is an astonishing price at a time when the per capita monthly income of urban residents in Tucheng is less than [-], let alone a minor with no income at all.

In a word, he couldn't afford the money.

He used to sit on a majestic and stable luxury ship. To him, all kinds of hardships in life were like the waves at the bottom of the ship. It turned out that this giant ship was originally named "Titanic", and it was destined to head towards the iceberg. In the end, the ship was destroyed and everyone died, leaving him alone to face the complicated and miscellaneous things that he had never paid attention to before.

He thought he was mature enough to face all the trials of life after experiencing a series of accidents by Bian Zhenhua, but he didn't expect that such trivial things were the grains of sand in the shoes of the thousand-mile walker.

Holding up his smiling face, he withdrew from the intermediary's probing eyes.

Walking slowly on the way home, his Adam's apple rolled up and down, his knuckles twitched convulsively, as if trying to cover up something, he raised his right hand to wipe his nose, sucked back the nasal fluid, and then hung it down Hold the left wrist.

He didn't come out with a watch today, only the loosely hanging beads made his palms warm, he just wanted to hold something in his hands to make his heart feel at ease.In the same position, there used to be various rare and famous watches displayed in different patterns every day. Didn’t the unknown comrade from the procuratorate also say that?Just his drawer of watches is more than enough to exchange for a boutique apartment!

He stood on the side of the road for a while, hesitated again and again, and finally took out his mobile phone and called Jiang Wei's number.

I originally planned to keep the savings for my future life, even if I knew I was going to move out alone, I never thought about moving the savings, but now I really have no choice but to withdraw it in advance.

His thumb hung on the dial button for a long time, and when he pressed it, it meant that he really had nothing at all...

He took a deep breath, closed and opened his eyes vigorously, shook his head as if trying to shake off the disturbance, and then pressed his thumb down on the green dial key.

He made a lot of achievements in his heart, and went over what he wanted to say over and over again before moving the phone to his ear, ready to refuse Jiang Wei's unconditional transfer of money to him, but suddenly heard a cold voice coming from the microphone. mechanical female voice——

"Your mobile phone is in arrears, please recharge in time..."

The determination that had been made by gritting his teeth suddenly collapsed in an instant. His shoulders suddenly collapsed, and he slowly lowered his hand. The phone was hot in his palm, and the familiar sense of powerlessness invaded again, and he fainted faintly.

If possible, he thought, he must have a place to lean on.

The headlights passing by on the road made his eyes hurt, and he shuffled slowly, thinking in a daze: What the hell are these things?Why is it so difficult...