Strawberry West Toast

On Sunday, there were only a few students who needed to make up the parent-teacher meeting. After Wang Xiuming arrived at the school, Wang Zhen took him to the office. The teacher also invited the parent of another student. Wang Xiuming and him stood next to the head teacher , Wang Zhen walked to the door and waited for them to finish their conversation.

But not long after, Wang Xiuming came out, holding his mobile phone confiscated by the head teacher, with an uneasy face.

Wang Zhen was about to ask "what's the matter", when Wang Xiuming asked, "Your screensaver is that classmate named Pei?"

Wang Zhen thumped in his heart, and said, "Yes."

"Come with me." Wang Xiuming put away his phone, turned and walked downstairs.

Walking to a flower bed with few people, Wang Xiuming said, "Did you find someone, or did they find you?"

Wang Zhen said, "I found him."

Wang Xiuming said coldly: "How many months has it been? You're going to be in your third year of high school soon! Still have time to think about this?"

Wang Zhen wanted to say that his grades had obviously improved after getting to know Pei Yiwei, but the facts didn't matter to Wang Xiuming, what he couldn't get used to was their relationship.

Wang Zhen kept silent, and Wang Xiuming became more and more angry. He found a flower bed to sit down and lit a cigarette.After a long silence, he said, "I'll help you with day-study later, and I'll pick you up every day from this week."

Back in the classroom, Wang Zhen didn't tell Pei Yiwei about it, and finished his evening self-study in a daze. Pei Yiwei called him to eat supper on WeChat, and he said yes, then packed his bag and went downstairs.

When I reached the stairs, my heart beat suddenly and abnormally fast, without any warning, as if I had just finished a run, but my hands were cold.Zhou Jie was robbed on the street a few years ago, and he had a similar situation at school. Even an atheist, after encountering disasters one after another, would inevitably think: something bad is about to happen, and the abnormal heartbeat is some kind of forecast.

Pei Yiwei stood at the stairs on the fourth floor. After the lights were turned off, there was no light around the corridor. Pei Yiwei in the dark made Wang Zhen feel uneasy. He stepped forward and hugged Pei Yiwei without saying hello.

"What's wrong?" Pei Yi asked him as he touched his back slightly.

"I miss you." Wang Zhen said lightly.

Pei Yiwei met him before the evening self-study, and we had dinner together, and we only thought he was acting like a baby, and said, "I'll go to your dormitory later."

Wang Zhen took him back to bed without eating supper. In the past, Wang Zhen would hug him and get close to him as soon as he entered the door. But after hugging him for a long time tonight, Wang Zhen didn't even kiss him. Only then did he realize that Wang Zhen seemed to be bad mood.

He patted Wang Zhen on the back and told him to go to bed, then covered him with a blanket and lay down too.

"Pei Yiwei," Wang Zhen put his hands around his waist, buried his face in his arms, and said sullenly, "You should say 'I like you'."

Pei Yiwei kissed his ear and said, "I like you."

Wang Zhen embraced his neck and kissed it, then put his hand under his clothes, stroked him lightly and slowly, and said in a low voice, "...I want it."

He was in good shape when Wang Zhen hugged him, but he was inexperienced, worried that he would disappoint Wang Zhen like last time, and the dormitory lacked equipment to prevent injuries, so he said, "Can hands be okay?"

He reached out to Wang Zhen's waist, but was held by Wang Zhen, and Wang Zhen said, "That's okay."

He thought Wang Zhen was angry, but he didn't know how to coax him, so he could only bow his head and kiss him, saying, "I'm afraid you will get hurt."

Wang Zhen said: "I know, next time I will open a room outside."

"Well," he pinched Wang Zhen's neck, "I'm learning how to do it these days."

Wang Zhen chuckled and said, "Don't tell me such things."

Xueba is really upright and cute, Wang Zhen couldn't help kissing him a few times, but he refused to let Wang Zhen kiss, and pushed Wang Zhen away with a bit of breathing disorder.

"Go to sleep." He touched the remote control of the air conditioner and lowered it by two degrees.

"Okay," Wang Zhen retracted into the blanket, "Aren't you going back to bed?"

"No." Pei Yiwei stuffed his exposed hands into the blanket, lay down and hugged him.

Pei Yiwei's body was warm, and Wang Zhen felt a little sleepy after a while, and he didn't want to have an abnormal heartbeat anymore, he just wanted to hug Pei Yiwei to sleep.

After the self-study was over the next night, Wang Xiuming really drove to pick him up. Pei Yiwei asked him to go back with Wang Xiuming first, and they could chat on WeChat.He refused to leave, hugged Pei Yiwei in the bedroom for a long time, finally put on his sneakers and left with his backpack.

He left the key of the dormitory to Pei Yiwei, and they can still meet in the dormitory during lunch break.When they meet, they don't talk, they have to get close for a while, and then he tells Pei Yiwei what happened after returning home, Pei Yiwei says "um" from time to time.

In fact, there is nothing to say.At home, Wang Xiuming would restrict his work and rest, and force him to sleep every twelve o'clock. After finding him chatting on WeChat, he put away his mobile phone and replaced it with an elderly phone.

Both mobile phones are in Wang Xiuming's hands, and there are many photos of Pei Yiwei stored in them. Wang Xiuming usually tells Zhou Jie if there is something to do. Wang Zhen asks Zhou Jie where the mobile phone is, but Zhou Jie refuses to tell.Asked Yang Hang to buy a Polaroid online, and delivered it to school on Monday. Wang Zhen took a few photos of Pei Yiwei. The boyfriend in the photo was very cold, but when he put down the photo, the boyfriend came over and kissed him cautiously.

Today they kissed for a longer time than before, until he was out of breath, Pei Yiwei was still biting his lips, he let Pei Yiwei go, but his mouth suddenly hurt, and the tip of his tongue soon tasted a bloody smell.

"It hurts." Wang Zhen pushed Pei Yiwei's chest, telling him not to bite.

But the pain continued, and Pei Yiwei just bit her but didn't intend to kiss him, Wang Zhen soon realized that something was wrong.

He pinched Pei Yiwei's chin and forced him to step back.

"Pei Yiwei?" Wang Zhen shouted.

Pei Yiwei's gaze is no longer clear, completely different from when he first entered the dormitory.

He called "Pei Yiwei" a few more times, Pei Yiwei looked at him straight for a while, about 5 minutes, they didn't say anything, Wang Zhen finally remembered to call Hu Xiao'e to ask how to deal with this situation, just walked Beside the desk, Pei Yiwei suddenly hugged his shoulder tightly, and said very fast: "You can't go, I won't let you go, can you go home with me? Please."

For a moment Wang Zhen thought that Pei Yiwei had returned to normal, because his words were full of affection, not the cold state when he was ill, but the next moment, Pei Yiwei picked up the fruit knife on the table and said again: "You can't Go, I won't let you go."

Wang Zhen was startled, the knife was pointed at him, Pei Yiwei was not joking with him, he believed that if he moved again, Pei Yiwei would really stab the knife in.

"If you don't leave, why do you think I'm leaving?" Wang Zhen tried to reach out to his hand holding the knife, "I'm just holding my phone."

"Don't take your phone." Pei Yiwei said.

"Okay," Wang Zhen put down his phone, "I really won't leave."

Pei Yiwei stared at Wang Zhen hesitantly, the hand holding the knife hangs down, taking this opportunity, Wang Zhen said softly, "I'm right here, I'm not going anywhere."

"Follow me home." Pei Yiwei said.

Wang Zhen touched his arm and said, "Okay, I'll go home with you, but first promise me something."

Pei Yi nodded slightly: "What?"

"Give me your right hand." Wang Zhen said.

Pei Yiwei stretched out his right hand, Wang Zhen gently held his wrist, put the knife into the scabbard, kicked it to the bottom of the bed, and said to him: "It's ok, let's go home now."

When he got downstairs, Wang Zhen asked him, "Do you know how to get home?"

Pei Yiwei looked at him for a long time, then shook his head.

If he didn't know that Pei Yiwei was sick, Wang Zhen would be very happy. Now Pei Yiwei is completely like a dazed child, clingier than usual and talking more.

Wang Zhen took him out of the school through the small gate of the dormitory area. After getting in the taxi, he opened Pei Yiwei's bag to check. He remembered that Pei Yiwei would stuff small items in the interlayer. After taking it out, he found the box of olanzapine. The packaging was intact, but my sister-in-law asked him to urge Pei Yiwei to take the medicine last night.

Without saying a word, he took out a piece and broke it, handed half of it to Pei Yiwei, and said, "Eat."

Pei Yiwei took the medicine and took it, Wang Zhen asked him: "Did you not take the medicine on time these few days?"

Pei Yiwei did not answer.

Arriving at the downstairs of the residential building, Wang Zhen called Hu Xiaoe.When she got home, the medicine took effect, and Pei Yiwei's delusions had disappeared.This time, he had a complete memory and knew exactly what he had done an hour ago. When he saw Wang Zhen again, his face turned pale.Wang Zhen was about to say something when he suddenly closed the door and locked himself into the room.

Hu Xiao'e knocked on the door, Pei Yiwei said he was fine and wanted to be alone for a while.Hu Xiaoe opened the door again with the key, but the door was locked from the inside.

"You said he didn't take his medicine properly," Hu Xiaoe asked Wang Zhen in a low voice, "Did he tell you, or did you find out?"

"Found it," Wang Zhen said, "Has he taken any medicine at home?"

"I watched him eat. He was in a stable state during this time. I didn't expect to be like this when he went to school." Hu Xiao'e's face was heavy, "What did he tell you when he got sick?"

Wang Zhen gave a brief account of Pei Yiwei's refusal to let him leave. Hu Xiao'e had done psychotherapy before. The so-called long-term illness became a doctor, and she was able to conduct a superficial analysis of Pei Yiwei's psychological condition. It is sad for Pei Yiwei to value a friend so much - it is very difficult for people with this disease to make friends, but it is very easy to lose friends, one attack is enough.No matter how good a friendship is, it cannot withstand repeated illnesses. Her marriage with Pei Jie is about to come to an end, let alone a student.

However, before that, she hoped that Pei Yiwei would be happier.

"Sit down for a while," Hu Xiao'e said, "I'll cook for you two."

"Okay, thank you, auntie." Wang Zhen sat on the sofa, and after a while, he walked to the door of Pei Yiwei's room and knocked a few more times, but there was still no answer.He rummaged through Pei Yiwei's bag, and saw a few monthly exam papers, 122 in mathematics, which was an unbelievable score for Pei Yiwei.

Wang Zhen read the entire test paper, and all the choices were correct. Starting from the third big question, Pei Yiwei's handwriting became very messy, and the last question was even left blank.If it wasn't intentional, then it would just be something wrong during the exam.Maybe it's a side effect of a drug, maybe it's a seizure.Judging from Pei Yiwei's resistance to taking the medicine, the former is more likely.

It was a bunch of ugly words, and he couldn't say a word to them.Pei Yiwei has strong self-esteem, and always holds it up when showing off his achievements, and he must wait for him to ask before answering. He hasn't asked these questions for a while, thinking that everything is fine.

After that day, Hu Xiao'e took Pei Yiwei to Nansan Hospital every Friday for psychological treatment.At school, Wang Zhen supervised Pei Yiwei to take medicine, and Pei Yiwei did so, and the side effects of the medicine became more and more obvious.

His weight has increased by ten catties within a month, and his mental state is also very bad, and he is prone to fatigue and lethargy at the same time.Sometimes he couldn't attend class, so he ran to the rooftop to read, and was bumped into by Wang Zhen twice.Wang Zhen was worried that he would lose control of his emotions and ran to the hospital, and told him not to go to the rooftop, but to accompany him back to the dormitory to read.Afterwards, he missed classes almost every day, staying in Wang Zhen's dormitory all day, and did not go to the classroom.

At the beginning of June, the condition suddenly worsened, and the medicine seemed to lose its effect.His grades plummeted. During the eight-school joint entrance examination, he fell from the first place in the class to the bottom eighth. He was called to talk by teachers of various subjects one after another, and those abnormal behaviors also aroused discussions among classmates. Now almost everyone in the class They all think he is abnormal.

Since then, the matter could no longer be concealed, so Hu Xiaoe had no choice but to tell Ma Zhinan about her illness.

"Although it's a pity, I still suggest that Yiwei suspend his studies," Ma Zhinan said, "You don't have to be too nervous, he has a good foundation, and he will have time to take the college entrance examination in a year."

Hu Xiaoe said: "I tried to persuade him, but he didn't want to, because I put too much burden on him. I used to force him to go to a good university, but I didn't expect this to happen."

Ma Zhinan hesitated for a moment, then said: "Actually, there is another way, that is to ask a tutor to help him revise. The effect may be worse than that at school, but he can take the college entrance examination normally."

Hu Xiao'e followed Ma Zhinan's suggestion and first asked Pei Yiwei to take a month's leave, then asked Pei Yiwei to pack up his textbooks and take him out of the classroom.

Before they entered the classroom, Wang Zhen was standing on the outside of the corridor. When Pei Yiwei passed by, he called Pei Yiwei, gave him a hug, and said, "Go home and be well."

Pei Yi squeezed his hand slightly, and said "um".

A week after Pei Yiwei returned home, Hu Xiao'e discovered that he secretly hid the medicine under the bottom of his tongue and spit it into the bathroom when he took the medicine, and finally knew the reason why his condition worsened.

After knowing the truth, she repeatedly forced Pei Yiwei to take medicine, but Pei Yiwei looked indifferent, buried his head in the book every day, refused to take medicine, and rarely spoke.

In the end, she had no choice but to ask a psychoanalyst to enlighten Pei Yiwei. The psychoanalyst she found was experienced, and after chatting with Pei Yiwei a few times, the reason why Pei Yiwei refused to take medicine soon became clear.

"On the one hand, it is the pressure to go to school. I have received many similar students who refused to take the medicine because they were worried about the side effects that would lower their grades," the doctor said. , which means that he must maintain his previous achievements, and he subconsciously magnifies these anxieties infinitely, so the side effects of drugs have become his biggest enemy."

Hu Xiao'e nodded: "Understood, is there any way to relieve it?"

"Relief is not difficult," the doctor flipped through the records of the chat with Pei Yiwei, "Your son is a very planned person. His past spiritual world was built on a stable life framework. For him, this kind of stability Once disrupted by an illness, the unpredictability of life can be more distressing than the isolation it brings. Alleviating his anxiety and depression starts with restoring order to his life, for example, by returning him to school, or Persuade that friend to stay."

After the doctor finished speaking, he looked at Hu Xiao'e's face, "Can't it be done?"

Hu Xiaoe explained: "His school refused to admit mentally ill patients. The teacher did not force him to drop out of school because of his good grades. His friend went to other places to take an art test. This matter is related to his future. We can't let him stay."

At this point, the doctor can only say: "Actually, apart from these two points, a regular life is also very important. Try to maintain his schedule at school and don't relax. If the effect is not obvious after a period of time, you can take him to a hospital in a big place to see him." Look, it's better to be hospitalized."

After getting sick, Pei Yiwei's ability to take care of herself gradually declined, and she often couldn't remember to fold the quilt after waking up and take a bath before going to bed.It's not that he deliberately ignores it, but that he has forgotten the meaning behind these things. In his consciousness, these things are not helpful to him, and it is the right choice not to do them.

When Wang Zhen saw Pei Yiwei again, he had changed his appearance, gloomy and thin, with a pale profile lifeless, smoking a cigarette on the balcony and watching the rain for an hour.

"There are mosquitoes outside," Wang Zhen walked to the screened door, "Come in quickly."

Pei Yi slightly stubbed out the cigarette butt, walked into the room, sat on the sofa, and said, "The cat left yesterday."

"When?" Wang Zhen was stunned.

"Last night," Pei Yiwei said, "she was still at my sister-in-law's house."

He went to the bedroom to put on a sweater and picked up the key to the little sheep.Wang Zhen followed behind him and went downstairs with him.

It was raining outside, so Pei Yiwei took the cardboard box containing the kitten and walked under the stone bridge.

Under the bridge is a wide ditch, the water surface is turbid, the sand on both sides is piled up, and there are dense pamao.The white flower spikes were skewed by the rain and weighed heavily on the water.

"There's no shovel," Pei Yiwei said, "I'll go pick up a stick."

"Okay." Wang Zhen found a flat land and put the box on the ground.

Pei Yiwei came back with a wooden stick. Wang Zhen clamped the umbrella with his neck, rolled up his sleeves for him, squatted down, and started digging.

"When are you going to Beijing?" Pei Yiwei asked Wang Zhen halfway through the digging.

Wang Zhen said, "Not yet."

"What's the date today?"

"twelve."

"Has Yang Hang left?"

Wang Zhen didn't answer this question, the soil was almost dug, he put the cat into the bottom of the pit, and said, "She doesn't have a name yet, you can give me one."

"You picked it up, why did you let me pick it up?" Pei Yiwei said.

"Forget it," Wang Zhen smiled, "Then bury it?"

"Bury it." Pei Yi nodded slightly.

The soil covered the bottom of the pit little by little, and the kitten disappeared quickly.The surrounding mud is everywhere, making it difficult to get off.Wang Zhen walked ahead, stepped on the stem of Bamao, and made a way.When he approached the stone steps, his canvas shoes were soaked, and his clothes were not in good condition, sticking wetly to his body, making him extremely embarrassed.

It rained heavily, and it seemed like a long time before they had just stepped onto the stone bridge.

"Have you brought an umbrella?" Wang Zhen asked Pei Yiwei.

"No," Pei Yiwei said, "It's almost here."

He took Wang Zhen's hand and started running.The rain made the street blurred, and the light at dusk was already dim, and the houses along the way stood silently in the rain.

Wang Zhen kissed his rainy cheek, hugged him tightly, and kissed him, trying to make him open his mouth, but he closed his lips tightly.Anger burned in his heart, Wang Zhen wanted to cry, but there was no tear in his eyes. Just as he let go, his shoulders trembled suddenly, he hugged Wang Zhen tightly, opened his mouth, and kissed him hard, not letting him escape open.

"Turn off the lights."

"it is good."

He turned off the light, took off his glasses, knelt so that he could only hug himself, and then, groping in the dark, unbuttoned his shirt.

The skin has a warm smell, like turpentine and rain dew, and the sun-soaked grass is soft and warm, while he, who has not recovered from a long illness, smells stale, and his limbs are pale and limp, like fallen leaves floating in the air.

He couldn't do it anymore, he lay down on his back and closed his eyes tightly.

"What's wrong?" Wang Zhen stood up and looked at him.

"I'm sorry," he said, "I regret it."

Wang Zhen's face turned pale, and he said, "What do you regret?"

"I delayed you," he said, "I can't get back those hours, sorry."

Wang Zhen listened in disbelief, anger, grievance, and despair welled up in his heart. He didn't understand what would happen to the two people who were so close last moment?

"How could you treat me like this?" Wang Zhen said hoarsely, "Why?"

He couldn't speak, for a moment he thought it would be better to be like this, as long as Wang Zhen stays, they can continue, but he quickly gave up this idea, he shouldn't stay for him, he can't give him anything, in the future he You will regret it, and before that, don't let the relationship become so embarrassing.

"Why do you choose for me?" Wang Zhen questioned him, but his voice became unsteady, "Why?"

Anger and pain made Wang Zhen weak all over. Just questioning had exhausted all his strength. He curled up on the bedside, countless thoughts flashed through his mind, and each thought was enough to make him laugh at himself.

"I'll book a plane ticket right away, and I'll be leaving tomorrow. You didn't delay me," Wang Zhen said, "I'll come back to see you this weekend, okay?"

Pei Yi shook his head slightly.

"...Why?" Wang Zhen said, "Why?"

"You know what kind of disease it is," Pei Yiwei said very lightly, "It may last a year, or it may last a lifetime. I don't want you to gamble with your future."

Wang Zhen clenched his fingers tightly, pinching his palm: "So you chose to give up on me, didn't you? Then why didn't you refuse then? Why did you say it now?"

Pei Yiwei didn't speak.In the tormented silence, Wang Zhen couldn't stay any longer, he picked up his shirt, forgot his glasses by the table, slammed the door, and left.

He walked in the heavy rain, feeling unprecedentedly sad and lonely.He wanted to stop for a while, to look at the street in the rain, to see where he and Pei Yiwei walked.If he catches up, he can drop everything and go back with him, as long as he catches up.

Half an hour later, he felt bone-chilling cold, and the rain soaked his whole body.He didn't come.