out of control relationship

When Qin Shuobei was first adopted into Qin Yuan's family, he was only five years old.Most children start remembering things at this age, toddler, babble, their chaotic bodies are controlled by instinct and implanted with impressions of the outside world, which makes their hearts gradually enriched, and thus A little bit of growth into a perfect individual.

But before that, far before that, Qin Shuobei could only feel pain.

And the raw and crazy malice from the people closest to him in this world.

That man is crazy.

As Qin Shuobei's biological father, a father with the same blood flowing in his body, how could he be so ruthless... At that time, Qin Shuobei, who often hid under the slide in the park and dared not go home, couldn't figure it out.

The man was taking drugs, drinking heavily, and his face was fierce, and his bloodshot eyes were the warning of the approaching danger. No matter what he did, it would cause an explosion in an instant.And Qin Shuobei had to escape before the door was locked, the farther the better, to the enthusiastic store owner, or to the bustling park, or hide until dark and have to go back, or be carried back by a sober man.

Countless times on the way home, the tortuous gray streets that ran through his childhood memories, he remembered the festering yellow lights on the ground, he cried on the man's shoulder, wrinkled his little face stained by tears , was treated as a lost child by passers-by, and was acting like a baby in his father's arms as he wanted, crying about helplessness and dependence.

Little did he know that it was for the beatings and torture that he could not escape afterwards.

For a while, he was even confused about his identity as a human being.Obviously there is no hatred for no reason in this world.

No one found him until his father was arrested for murder. About what happened that day, it was as vivid as yesterday. A group of people in uniform squeezed into his small rental house like a trash can. The air was stuffy and sour. He was so hungry that he was delirious, and the wounds on his arms and legs were festering. He was curled up on the sofa tremblingly, tearing off the leather and chewing it in his mouth. Several women present saw him just cried.

The wounds, bruises, redness, and smoke scars on the body pulled out by the belt are like disgusting plasters, covering up the ugly past layer by layer.

Finally—he didn't know how much luck and life he had sacrificed before he was lucky enough to be taken in by that kind woman and her family.

Qin Shuobei never thought about all this.They have a spacious and bright house, although the sun-penetrated appearance is a bit deserted, there is steaming rice on a clean table, there are soft and comfortable pillows and beds, and there is an older brother who is taller than himself.

There is no father in this family.

At first he didn't know that the instigator who dragged the family into the mud was his jerk father, but the news at that time was too sensational, and the topic lasted for more than a year before it dissipated, and the attention of the onlookers was taken away, leaving only him Encouraged by reality, the immature childhood came to an abrupt end, and he became a precocious child who made people think it was scary.

This growth is sad.

For a long time, he resisted any form of physical contact from others, overreacted to hurts and overtures, did not dare to cry, and stopped laughing immediately, the anxiety and panic caused by insomnia, and the sequelae of those encounters destroyed him alive. his childhood.

And during this rotten time, he remembered that the one who worked the hardest was Qin Yuan.

After twelve o'clock, Qin Shuobei felt sleepy.

He got up from the small area on the desk that was illuminated by the desk lamp, and stretched. The cracking sound of the bones on his back startled him. The room was quiet, and the lights in Qin Yuan's room were dark.

In the third year of junior high school, he was facing high school, and his homework load was not as easy as outsiders imagined. Qin Shuobei counted the papers he wrote tonight, put them in his book and stuffed them into his schoolbag, stood up, without slippers, and went out with bare feet.

This is not a season suitable for bare feet. He stepped on the cold floor tiles and felt the winter chill nakedly and truly. He stood in the darkness at the door of Qin Yuan's room for a while before he went to wash and turned off the light to sleep.

He thought that he was probably the only one in the world who knew what else was there for no reason.

This answer made him forget his fear, and fell asleep quickly, his heart as smooth as if it had been wiped.

The next day, the strong wind cooled the temperature, and Qin Yuan felt his throat was dry and itchy since he woke up in the morning, as if he had eaten a big mouthful of sand in a dream.

He looked at the windows creaked by the north wind, and felt a sense of retreat in his heart.Without confidence, he thought, can I stop going to school and stop working.

He looked down at the rice jar that wasn't even filled to the bottom, and the two wilting eggplants in the corner, swallowed the lime-like pill in his throat, and dispelled his humble thoughts without hesitation.

This day's school monthly exam was a simulated exam for the college entrance exam from the previous year, which was not too difficult for Qin Yuan. After finishing writing, he skipped the self-study session before school at noon, and went to sleep in the utility room with his coat in his arms.

Seeing that he was listless all morning, Wang Yihong guessed that he was sick, and the man was too delicate to go to the doctor for a minor illness, so he just threw his coat to him.There is heating in the classroom in winter, so I can’t wear clothes if I don’t go out.

Qin Yuan greeted him, and walked out with a pile of clothes, but bumped into the head teacher right away.

"..."

It was a male teacher known for his tough style. He looked him up and down, worried about the classmates who were still writing papers in the room, and lowered his voice, "Have a cold?"

Qin Yuan sniffed and nodded.

"Okay, go to bed." The male teacher stepped into the door without looking at him again.

——In any class there will be students who can talk about their grades, and a little bit of out-of-the-way behavior can be tolerated, not to mention Qin Yuan who always shows himself as an image of good character and learning, so he is naturally favored by the teacher.

He wouldn't take this as a privilege, but he just doesn't care much about other people's eyes.

He slept in the utility room for the whole noon, didn't eat any food, woke up once in the middle, squinted his eyes and looked out through the small window on the door. Outside the door, groups of students who had returned from the cafeteria passed by, He was lying on the wooden bench in the utility room, no one could see him from this angle, and they were all focused on talking to their companions.

He picked and listened to two or three sentences, then closed his eyes and fell asleep again.

The second time was when the preparation bell rang in the afternoon. He was full of sleep, his light-colored hair was flattened on one side, his whole body was soft, and his spirit had recovered a lot. He walked slowly back to the classroom with his clothes in his arms.

The graduating classes of the junior high school and senior high school were adjacent to each other, so he met Qin Shuobei again on the only way for the senior and junior high school students to go back to the classroom.

When he was Qin Shuobei's age, his mother always joked that children aged fourteen or fifteen were the ugliest.Because the appearance of this age has lost the childishness of a child, but it has not fully grown into a mature outline like an adult, so it is the most ugly stage.And the reason why it is a joke is because Qin Yuan overthrew this theory with practical actions when he was in junior high school, and stood out from countless greasy and ugly little boys.

Now it seems that Qin Shuobei also has such a trend.

A slight hunchback while walking could not conceal his striking appearance and height. The collar of his black coat was pulled up, revealing only the bridge of the nose and eyes. There were few vivid expressions on his face, and the contrast between his hair and skin color was black and white. , kind of sickly gloomy.

When he's not talking, he's like a dummy.

But once he spoke, there was a terrifying tenderness in his voice.

That's why Qin Yuan was most reluctant to hear him call brother.

Holding his clothes, he walked past Qin Shuobei without looking sideways, feeling that familiar gaze as usual, staying on him for a second longer than before, but only for this rare second, they were like Staggered as before.

He coughed and pushed open the classroom door, just as the class bell rang.

When Qin Shuobei returned to the classroom, he saw an apple on his desk, bright red and translucent, which looked very appetizing in this sluggish season.

Someone in the front and rear seats turned their heads to look at him, and Tang Ying, who was at the same table, laughed a few times, and while he was making up his homework non-stop, he reported a name he had just heard a few days ago, "She gave it to me."

Qin Shuobei sat down and said "Oh", "Can you eat it?"

Don't look at Tang Ying with such a beautiful name, the deity is a real man, he glanced at Qin Shuobei like a ghost: "Do you have any brains, the little girl is still watching."

He laughed, "Don't eat and waste."

Tang Ying didn't say anything anymore, took the apple from his hand, and gnawed it boldly, half of her cheeks puffed up, and only dared to squirm a few times carefully after the teacher walked up to the podium.

"You don't have to wait for me this afternoon." Halfway through the class, Qin Shuobei said to Tang Ying when the teacher turned to write on the blackboard.

"What's wrong?"

"I have something to do." He turned the textbook back a page.

After finally finishing school, Qin Yuan really couldn't go to work.

The headache felt like someone took a spoon and stirred it in his brain, tirelessly.He even wanted to risk his life to smoke his first cigarette today, to see if the almighty tobacco could defeat stubborn germs with fire.

He pushed his bicycle out of the school gate, his eyes could not be opened against the wind, so it was rare for him not to notice that someone came out with him, far away, but he did not stop following so many students out of the school gate, Always maintain an even distance.

And as soon as he turned into the alley leading to the road, he was blocked by a group of people who had been waiting there a long time ago.

Qin Yuan first raised his head to look at the group of people, and when he met the wry face chewing bubble gum, he didn't say anything, let go and threw the bicycle to the side of the road.

Then when a person raised his foot and kicked him in the stomach, he arched his body and punched him back. His breathing was not smooth, and he kept holding his breath, and he pulled away quickly. He knocked down the two of them in two or three blows, and there was an ups and downs. Look for that eye-catching hedgehog in the scolding voice.

"Fuck me..."

After all, he was outnumbered. He was sick and in poor condition, and his reaction was not sensitive enough. Someone grabbed his hair from behind and dragged him to the ground. Thinking that he would be completely at a disadvantage as soon as he landed, Qin Yuan's heart tightened, and he was about to pull the hand Yes, the nearest boy was suddenly knocked over, and fell to his feet with a bang.

He looked at the man who was intervening, and he didn't want to talk anymore.Turn your head and hit your opponent on the other side.

The person who came to help him was also very cooperative, and he didn't call him brother from the beginning to the end.