math teacher please go away

"Does it look good?" Yao Shuhan rested his hands on Shu Yan's shoulders, carefully looked at Shu Yan in the fitting mirror, smiled slightly, and gently brushed Shu Yan's hair that was draped over her shoulders.

Shu Yan was wearing a denim skirt, with white puff short sleeves on the upper body, a long denim skirt with suspenders, and a denim-stitched flower pinned to her chest.The denim skirt is cut into layers by lace like a layered cake, and there are small sparkling rhinestones stuck under each layer of lace.

Shu Yan was a little shy and scratched her hair. She didn't wear this style of clothes very often, especially skirts... This skirt belonged to Yao Shuhan. For some reason, Yao Shuhan picked clothes from the closet today and insisted on Shuyan wearing them. her skirt.

Yao Shuhan said: "There is one thing I have been thinking about for a long time."

Shu Yan looked back at her: "What's the matter?"

Yao Shuhan picked the dark blue flower on Shuyan's chest with his fingers, and said, "Put my clothes on you with my own hands, and then take off your clothes with my own hands."

"Stop, stop, stop!" Shu Yan interrupted her, "Ms. Yao, can you tell me what's going on in your mind all day long?"

Yao Shuhan hugged her from behind, locked her hands together, put her forearm on Shu Yan's hip, and asked in a low voice, "Will you let me pick it up?"

She always has nothing to do with her.

Shu Yan gently stroked the back of Yao Shuhan's hands around his waist, and replied in a low voice, "Pick."

"Hey." Yao Shuhan smiled, and put his face on Shuyan's back.

Shu Yan stood quietly in front of the mirror, her long hair on both sides obediently sticking to her chest, Yao Shuhan's warm body temperature came from behind her, and the air in the bedroom was filled with a faint sweet smell, a bit like perfume, or some fruit, peach or It's strawberries...

I don't know if it's Yao Shuhan's illusion, but she feels that Shu Yan is quite quiet today, not the kind of quietness with less talking, but...

Yao Shuhan raised his head to look at Shu Yan's eyes quietly, Shu Yan's eyes were a little erratic, unfocused, just looking at himself in the mirror casually, a little dazed.

Yao Shuhan's arms around Shu Yan tightened unconsciously.

Yao Shuhan felt that after returning from the ancient town, Shu Yan was not in a good state for the next few days, and her life was no different from before. She would fight back fiercely with her, and when she was about to get angry, she would fight again. Turn around and coax her.

She still embraced her very warmly, kissed her, and then embraced and fell asleep together, and everything was peaceful.

But the calmer he was, the less at ease Yao Shuhan felt.She could feel that Shu Yan was absent-minded and had something on her mind.No matter what Shu Yan was worried about, whether it was related to Yao Shuhan, she didn't choose to confide in Yao Shuhan, Yao Shuhan felt lost for no reason.

Yao Shuhan also didn't want to completely restrict Shuyan and leave no space for each other, but her crazy desire to possess someone was not so easy to suppress.She cares about Shuyan and wants to dedicate everything to Shuyan. At the same time, she also hopes that Shuyan can trust her unconditionally.

But, thinking about it carefully, she, Yao Shuhan, also has things that she doesn't want Shu Yan to know, such as her experience in a mental illness center...

Does Shu Yan also have this kind of thing that she doesn't want her to know?

Hey... Yao Shuhan sighed lightly, and rubbed against Shuyan's back.She thought: Is there absolute trust between lovers?Trust, but can't put pressure on the other party, and give the other party a proper space. How to grasp the middle degree?

"Hanhan." Just as Yao Shuhan was thinking more and more deeply, Shu Yan held her hand and shouted in a low voice.

"Huh? Ah, I'm here." Yao Shuhan held her back.

Shu Yan paused, her eyes sank, and she spoke slowly: "Do you still remember what I told you in Guzhen, did my mother pay for the air ticket to Guzhen?"

"Hmm..." Yao Shuhan's heart skipped a beat, and he lowered his eyelashes.coming soon……

After being quiet for a while, Shu Yan said: "My mother asked me to take you to play, she said she wanted to see me happy." Holding Yao Shuhan's hand gradually, "I want you to be happy too."

Yao Shuhan opened his mouth, but he hummed without saying anything.

Finally, Shu Yan slowly lowered her head, sniffed her nose, wiped the corners of her eyes with her hands, and said, "My mother, it might be dying..."

Yao Shuhan took a deep breath, turned Shu Yan around abruptly, and pressed her head deeply into his arms.

Shu Yan hugged Yao Shuhan tightly, very quiet and very quiet.

Shu Yan's voice leaked from Yao Shuhan's arms, muffled: "I know... I know she won't last long, but I didn't expect..."

Yao Shuhan thought that Shu Yan was crying, and wanted to break her away to see her face, but when he put his hands on the back of her head, he gave up and moved gently to give her a massage instead.

In fact, Shu Yan didn't cry, she was just sad.

I don't know if other people have experienced it, and it may vary from person to person, but Shu Yan couldn't cry when she was in the most pain.She thought it was probably because she was so upset that her brain didn't have time to process the signal to shed tears.

It took a long time for Shuyan to lift her head from Yao Shuhan's arms. Yao Shuhan looked down at her and held her face with both hands.

"Shu Yan, I love you." Yao Shuhan said.

Shu Yan closed her eyes slowly, and carefully felt Yao Shuhan's breath hitting her face.

Yao Shuhan kissed her lightly, rubbed her cheek lightly on her face, and said with a smile, "I love our mother too."

-----------------------

Originally, the dialysis was done well, but it was delayed for too long before, and Shu's mother was overburdened, and the next two years was already the limit.

Shu Yan stayed by her mother's side day and night, silent, neither crying nor fussing, she could even smile when Yao Shuhan called her.That smile made Yao Shuhan feel extremely uncomfortable, she would rather cry.Crying is the way God gave human beings to vent their pain. Since it is painful, why not cry?

In Yao Shuhan's impression, Shu Yan never seemed to cry, and it was always her who cried.Heh, Yao Shuhan smiled lightly, it turned out that he was always the cowardly one.

The night before Shu's mother passed away, with her head held high and her throat rumbled, she tried to reach out her withered hands. Shu Yan thought she was calling her, so she rushed over and called "Mom".

Strangely, Mother Shu didn't respond to her, she still stretched out her hands forward, her eyes wide open.

Looking in the direction where Shu's mother was staring, Yao Shuhan stared blankly at Shu Yan, who happened to be looking at her too.

Yao Shuhan nodded to Shu Yan, went to sit beside Shu's mother, held her hand, and said, "Auntie, I'm here."

Shu's mother bent her eyes and smiled, holding Yao Shuhan's hand and patted it lightly. Shu's mother's rough skin was scratching slightly painful on the back of Yao Shuhan's delicate hand.

Yao Shuhan opened his eyes wide and waited for Shu's mother, Shu Yan also walked around and sat beside Yao Shuhan.Both of them knew what Shu's mother was going to tell them, and it was very important.Shu's father looked at them silently on the other side of the bed, lowered his head slightly, and couldn't tell whether it was sadness or something else. Yao Shuhan felt that Shuyan's emotional reaction followed his father's, one faced his mother, the other faced his wife, and faced death. All so quiet.

Shu's mother used a lot of strength to put Yao Shuhan's hand into Shu Yan's. The distance between the two hands was not long, but it took a long time for the weak Shu's mother, trembling all the way, to finally put them together together.

The owners of the two hands looked at each other, and turned their heads to look at Shu's mother. Shu's mother tried her best to bend the corners of her mouth to make a standard and perfect smile, even though she had no strength at all.She gurgled in her throat for a long time, struggling to pronounce one or two syllables, saying each word at a time, connecting the scattered words into complete sentences.

Shu's mother said: "Ayan, what you have done these years is enough. I have exhausted all your youth. You are my daughter. I brought you into this world to see you happy. Top ten For the next year, you live for me, and for the rest of the time, live for yourself."

"mom!"

Shu's mother closed her eyes and let out a breath, and said with a smile, "Shuhan... is a good girl, I can tell that she loves you, and you love her too..." Opening her eyes, she looked at Shu Yan and said earnestly, "Love It’s over, you have to be good, don’t let people down.”

"mom……"

"Old man." Shu's mother called her husband with the last of her strength.

Father Shu looked up at her, his eyes were heavy, as if they were about to fall.

"In the coming year..." Shu's mother suddenly gasped for breath, and the instruments attached to her body began to beep. Shu's mother took a deep breath and shouted hoarsely, "Let's go see cauliflower again!"

All the doctors standing at the door of the ward came in, and the attending physician who had been standing by the bed shook his head helplessly.

Father Shu stood blankly in that damp and cold corner of the ward, his eyebrows and nose wrinkled together.He wiped his face with his broad palm, took a few deep breaths, and said "yes".

It's a pity that some people can't hear that "good" anymore.

"Birth, old age, sickness, and death are the normal state of life. We cannot escape or escape. What we need to do is to accept it calmly. In Lao-Zhuang's theory, death is a kind of return, and it is the incorporation of human beings into all things. One way is also the premise of relying on emptiness to control the wind and ascend to immortality..." In the past, the sentences that were blurted out casually in class in the past, when placed in front of people who really needed comfort, Yao Shuhan couldn't say a word.

What is she going to say?It is said that Auntie is not a simple death, she just returned to nature, returned to nothingness, she is returning to the original, is it a kind of detachment?

Yao Shuhan couldn't say it.She frowned, and slowly turned her head to look at Shu Yan.

With a peaceful expression on her face, Shu Yan took two steps back, knelt down in front of the hospital bed, kowtowed three times, then stood up and walked to the bed, covering her mother with a white sheet.

The doctor sighed and patted Shu Yan on the shoulder.He didn't say "We did our best", but just said "Sorrow and change", Shu Yan nodded.

Yao Shuhan stepped forward, wanting to hold Shu Yan's hand, but took it back when he almost touched her fingertips.

Shu Yan turned around suddenly, startling Yao Shuhan.

Shu Yan hugged her into her arms, and buried the tip of her nose in Yao Shuhan's hair.

"Ayan..." Yao Shuhan couldn't help but shed tears, and the smell of disinfectant around her made her feel uncomfortable.

"En." Shu Yan responded, her voice was very peaceful, and she said, "Mom said everything will be fine."

Yao Shuhan put his arms around her back and replied, "Everything will be fine..."

Father Yao in the corner watched them silently, turned around and walked out of the ward, and discussed with the person in charge of the hospital how to deal with the funeral.

According to local rules, a seven-day mourning hall should be set up downstairs.

Yao Shuhan stayed with Shu Yan in the yard for seven days, and when he was tired, he leaned against each other and took a nap.

When the funeral home staff were about to push the trolley carrying the coffin into the incinerator, Shu's father and Shu Yan both stood quietly outside, motionless.

The person pushing the cart said: "I've been in this business for so many years, and it's rare to see family members who don't cry or make trouble. These father and daughter..."

Yao Shuhan twitched the corner of his mouth, winked at him, and then made a silent movement.

The man pushing the cart stopped immediately and pushed the cart inside.

Yao Shuhan silently looked at Shu Yan, who was expressionless and quiet all the way.

After getting the urn, Yao Shuhan asked Shu Yan: "Have you chosen the cemetery yet?"

Shu Yan shook her head and said, "My mother said it was sprinkled in the river."

Yao Shuhan was slightly taken aback.

The ashes are scattered in the river, where will future generations go to worship?On the riverside?Yao Shuhan took a deep breath. Tidal changes, metabolism, the water in the river has been changed countless times, how can we find the ashes of that year?

Don't even leave your last thoughts to others...

Father Shu smiled and patted Shu Yan's head, and said, "In the spring of next year, I will accompany your mother to the field to see cauliflower."

Shu Yan hummed, hugged the ashes and said nothing.

Yao Shuhan looked at the father and daughter of the Shu family, and the more he watched, the more uncomfortable he became, the more he watched the more uncomfortable...

She thought: It is said that time is the best medicine, so how long does it take to relieve the pain of losing a life?

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In the evening, Shu Yan found a piece of Yao Shuhan's clothes to wear on her body.

Yao Shuhan was stunned when he saw her, "What are you doing?"

Shu Yan grabbed her hand and put it on her chest, smiled, and asked, "Pick it?"

Seeing the corner of Shu Yan's raised mouth, Yao Shuhan fell silent.

She said, "Put my clothes on you with my own hands, and then take off your clothes with my own hands", but she didn't let Shu Yan put on her clothes by herself, and then asked her to take off the clothes.

Yao Shuhan raised her chin and asked, "Shu Yan, are you in pain?"

Shu Yan smiled wryly.

Yao Shuhan really wanted to beat her up with a belt——Shu Yan, can the mother stop laughing!You fucking cry for me!

Yao Shuhan nodded, and rudely peeled off Shuyan's clothes, saying, "Laughing? You're still laughing, right? Then let me cry for you!"

Shu Yan pursed her lips and closed her eyelids, fell onto the bed with a bang, hugged Yao Shuhan's body pressed on top of her, feeling her passionate kiss and violent aggression...

It really hurts, Shu Yan felt pain everywhere, so painful that she couldn't even tell the difference between crying and laughing.She was silently confused in her heart: Shuhan, should I laugh or cry?Oh, I forgot, you made me cry, you're going to make me cry...

When she finally reached the summit, Shu Yan hooked Yao Shuhan's back with her legs, raised her neck back, and two lines of hot tears rolled down her eyes.

Will it be alright?

everything will be fine.