Love you No.17 years

"Where are you?"

Lu Ming's voice was a little hoarse, and he seemed to be getting up, as if he had just woken up.

Xie Chenjun lowered the volume cautiously, and said cautiously: "I came out to find friends to play..."

"Huh? Early in the morning..."

"..."

Sensing the obvious sense of grievance in Xie Chenjun's voice, Lu Ming's tone softened a lot: "I thought you were taken back by your parents, and everything is here with me, so you don't say anything when you leave... okay , you can play outside if you want, do you have the taxi money for the return? I will pick you up if I don’t bring any money..."

"I brought money."

"Well. Come back for lunch then?"

"Back...not coming back. I want to come back in the afternoon."

"Okay, be careful yourself, don't do anything dangerous."

"There's nothing dangerous... I'm not a child."

"Okay, okay, not a child..."

The two chatted a few words on a daily basis, and made an appointment to go to the supermarket to buy dinner ingredients together in the evening.Xie Chenjun put down the phone, and when he turned around, he found that the two people behind him put their heads next to his ears——

"You guys!—frightened me to death!"

"'Not a child'..." Niu Xiaocao smirked and played with what he said just now, "But why do I feel that the more you say that, the more he treats you like a child?"

A blush floated on Xie Chenjun's face, he pushed them away and walked back to the private room.

"Ouch, Young Master Xie," Niu Xiaocao followed behind him meanly, "Don't just be mean to us—so you're so soft and cute in front of him? It's really unexpected~"

"How can I—"

"But I heard that he was talking to a kid," Gu Chaoyang interjected untimely, "If I really want to fall in love with you, would I coax you like this? Anyway, I don't know, I hate loli voice the most Soft cute girl."

"Just because you hate it doesn't mean everyone hates it, okay?" Niu Xiaocao gave him a gouged look and said, "What's wrong with a soft and cute girl? As long as it's not a real girl, but deliberately pretends to be tender, it's a kind of fun, okay? You know Shit!"

"Why don't I understand... I'm too lazy to tell you. But Xiao Jun, do you really like to associate with such an 'uncle'? You don't have an 'Electra complex', do you? Normally, you don't like being with adults very much. Let's make a deal..."

"Father who loves farts," Niu Xiaocao said, "If you can't speak, don't say it. It's fine for an old cow to eat young grass, but we eat grass, uh, if you want to be eaten by an 'old cow', can't you?"

"Isn't 'Xiaocao' you?"

"Can you shut up..."

Xie Chenjun lit another cigarette distractedly.They were right, Lu Ming always treated him like a gentle and patient adult.It was true ten years ago, and it is true today.

There is indeed an age difference of nearly ten years between the two, but he has grown up now and is also an adult. Why does Lu Ming spoil him everywhere, worry about him, and even want to protect him...

Xie Chenjun pressed down the cigarette butt.He solemnly asked Niu Xiaocao how to make Lu Ming realize that he is a real adult now.

Smoking, drinking, and dyeing hair to imitate adults is something that young people only did a few years ago.Now he feels that he is mature enough and it's time to do some "adult" things commensurate with his age.

"That's very simple," Niu Xiaocao spread his hands and said, "Go to bed."

"..."

Xie Chenjun rubbed his sore temples, he should continue to be a child...

·

·

Xie Chenjun's affection for Lu Ming, I don't know when to start talking about it.

He was very sure that his first impression of Lu Ming was not good.At that time, Lu Ming was tall, rough, with a strong aura, and a "fierce" face. He didn't have the slightest intimacy that a young big brother should have. On the contrary, he looked very difficult to provoke.

And because of the strict family education and the enormous pressure put on him by his parents, Xie Chenjun had a certain sense of fear and guard against "adults" since he was a child, and never dared to get too close to them.

At that time, all relatives, teachers or anyone who could be called "elders" were deterrent in Xie Chenjun's eyes.He can be very good in front of "adults", but he can't talk to them with sincerity.

The prerequisite for this kind of thinking is that "adults" do not treat children as real "human beings".At least with his parents, there was no respect, no possibility of being treated as an equal.

So Xie Chenjun could only face Lu Ming with a cold attitude at first, although he was very surprised by the friendliness and tolerance shown by this big brother to him, and the way he snored when he fell asleep was also a bit cute...

But the later "that incident" completely destroyed the inner fortress he had built with great difficulty at a young age.He also had to spend the countless nights that followed in panic and fear.

He is afraid of men, adults, anyone who might reach out to him, and the indifferent and merciless gazes of bystanders.

What he is most afraid of is his parents, afraid that anything he does will attract their scolding for no reason.

He always remembered what Lu Ming said to him when he broke in at that time, but he didn't know how to convince himself.

He also wondered if he was really not at fault.But if he did nothing wrong, why did his parents look at him with such disgusting eyes?

It's as if he has become "dirty" after being touched by someone?

So it was really his fault, otherwise that wretched man wouldn't just attack him.

Sure enough, it was still his problem, although he didn't know what was wrong with him at all...

"Xiao Jun?"

Suddenly his thoughts were interrupted, Xie Chenjun suddenly raised his face, his eyes were frightened, his eyes were red, and he looked very bad.

"What's wrong with you?..." Lu Ming looked at him with a very surprised expression.

It was getting late at this time, he was waiting for Lu Ming at the entrance of the supermarket, and the two made an appointment to go shopping together for a while.

And just a few minutes before Lu Ming appeared, Xie Chenjun just briefly recalled the things he used to think about during those sleepless nights, and fell into the abyss of fear again. If Lu Ming hadn't woken him up, he might Will wake up in trembling and cold sweat again...

Lu Ming supported his shoulders, lowered his head slightly and looked at him, trying to be at eye level with him: "Did something happen? Did someone bully you just now?"

"No, no..."

Xie Chenjun muttered with trembling lips, the sweat on his head made his words not convincing at all.

Lu Ming's gaze was firm and undeniable.He said: "Xiao Jun, if something happens, you must tell me—this is not treating you like a child, but that even adults have problems that they cannot solve by themselves."

"Well--"

"Just treat me as a friend and don't be stingy about asking me for help, okay?"

"okay……"

"Are you really all right? You look scared."

"It's really okay," Xie Chenjun said with a blushing face, "I just remembered things from my childhood, so I suddenly got a little scared..."

"When I was young..."

Lu Ming understood.He knew what this "children" meant.Besides, there aren't too many people coming and going at the entrance of the supermarket at this time, so maybe it wasn't something like sexual harassment that happened just now, right?After convincing himself like this, Lu Ming felt a little relieved.

"Why did you suddenly think about something from your childhood?" Lu Ming gently touched his head, "Go, don't be afraid, let's go buy some food, what do you want to eat tonight?"

"Well, I want to eat...forget it, you don't know how to do it anyway."

"Huh? If you don't know how to do it, I can learn~ And you said you want to eat at home, otherwise we should go to a restaurant? There just happens to be your newly opened chain store over there..."

Xie Chenjun knew he was joking, ignored his words, and followed.

Lu Ming always cared about his feelings, and always took his "small" and "insignificant" emotional changes very seriously.

It's a feeling he's never had with anyone else.

Lu Ming could make him feel at ease, except that he seemed a little overly nervous about him, he never made him feel uncomfortable at all.

And Lu Ming's words just now were like a warm and soft velvet blanket, wrapping the fragile child in his heart again.

Only he would treat himself like this.Xie Chenjun looked at his profile and thought.

He walked up to Lu Ming and carefully took his arm...

Lu Ming looked down at his hands, his expression moved slightly, but he didn't say anything.

·

·

Niu Xiaocao said that he had to get used to physical contact with Lu Ming.For a long time before, Xie Chenjun didn't even allow him to touch his good friends, let alone other adult men, but in the past few years, he has gradually improved a lot.

After going to college, he often went to the library to find out all kinds of related literature; he also took the initiative to go to the school's psychological consultation room, and talked for a long time with the psychologist who was his professional subject teacher. Those secrets and questions that had troubled him for a long time were revealed in one go.

He understands that if he wants to heal himself, he must first face up to his true heart.

So he did not deny Niu Xiaocao's statement.

Judging from his current knowledge of psychology, one of the most important criteria for judging whether his feelings for a person is "love" is to see whether he has fantasies about "certain aspects" of him, and whether he can Accept physical contact with each other.

And he told Niu Xiaocao very frankly, no, at least no one before today, he never even thought about that kind of scene.

He was afraid that once he started fantasizing about something, the terrifying memory of that night ten years ago would come into his mind again.

Perhaps the shadow brought to him by that incident he thought had long since disappeared, but in reality it hadn't. It was still buried somewhere in his heart like a bomb, ready to explode, and might burst at any time.

·

So he decided to try a little first, at least to take the first step.

He can hang shoulders with his good friend now, but every time he thinks that this person is Lu Ming, his heart throbs uncontrollably.

He didn't know what kind of emotion it was, maybe it was fear, maybe it was ecstasy.However, when the two reunited a few days ago, Lu Ming inadvertently rubbed his hair, and he found that it didn't feel bad, and he even longed for a few more times.

Just now when Lu Ming touched him again, Xie Chenjun obviously felt a rush of adrenaline.So he took the courage to hold Lu Ming's arm. In fact, he didn't hold it too tightly, but twisted a thin layer of clothes.But Lu Ming didn't reject him, and his little heart couldn't help beating wildly...

·

Xie Chenjun stayed at Lu Ming's house for the past few days.He said that he agreed to eat hot pot with Lu Ming, and Lu Ming also agreed to teach him to play the piano.

So Xie Chenjun worked hard to deal with his family, while hiding in this "paradise" to enjoy his long-awaited life.

In the days when he could only come to Lu Ming's house to attend piano lessons, how much he wished that Lu Ming's tenderness could only belong to him.

The smile in Lu Ming's eyes, his tolerance and love for his students are all things that he could not reach before.

But now, it seems to be close at hand, within easy reach.

·

It was the third night when Xie Chenjun stayed at Lu Ming's house, Lu Ming was still sleeping on the sofa with his clothes on.Xie Chenjun sat on the bed and struggled for a long time, and finally climbed out of bed softly.

Sneaking into Lu Ming's bed quietly, maybe he won't find out soon, right?He was already snoring, he must have slept soundly...

Xie Chenjun quietly came to Lu Ming's side.The sofa is very wide, two people should be able to sleep if squeezed together.And Xie Chenjun's purpose was just like this, he took a few deep breaths, then gently lifted Lu Ming's quilt, and got in with his bare feet...

Squeezing into that long-lost embrace, Xie Chenjun has never felt so warm in his life.There was a faint scent of soap on Lu Ming's body, and the familiar smell of shaving water on his chin - Lu Ming looked decadent but not sloppy, even in winter he would take a bath every other day.

Brushing teeth, skin care, and shaving in the morning and evening are also good habits for him.Xie Chenjun has silently memorized all the smells about him, maybe he will change all his shampoo, bath and shaving water when he returns to school...

Xie Chenjun greedily felt the heat given to him by this embrace, and also felt that his body was really warming up slowly.

No way... Xie Chenjun suddenly felt flustered.He felt that his body was getting better and slowly changing. Could it be that he, he now——

At this moment, the limbs of the person holding him stiffened.

Before he could react in the future, Xie Chenjun noticed the gaze that was looking straight at him in the darkness——

"Xiao Jun?" Lu Ming's voice sounded above his head, "Why are you here..."