Love you No.17 years

When Xie Chenjun woke up the next day, Lu Ming was no longer by his side.

The temperature in the bed was still the same, and there was a clanging sound from the kitchen. It was Lu Ming who was cooking him breakfast.

It went really well last night.Xie Chenjun thought he didn't remember anything, but in fact he remembered everything.

The soreness that could be seen everywhere on his body reminded him of what Lu Ming had done to him, but Xie Chenjun's heart was filled very much.

Those countless sleepless nights looked so ridiculous now that all the problems that had troubled him for so long were worth nothing more than a night of lingering and a loving kiss.

He thought the knot in his heart had been untied.At least Lu Ming likes him, and he will be crazy about the smell of lust he exudes.

Xie Chenjun felt that this was enough.After all, he is a man, he smiled silently while lying on the pillow.

·

Xie Chenjun didn't want to get up yet, he greedily sniffed the smell that belonged to Lu Ming in the bed, and recalled every detail of last night over and over again, trying to burn all the pictures deeply into his bone marrow.

At this time, the sound in the kitchen stopped. It should be that breakfast was ready.But Lu Ming didn't come in, so he stretched his waist, put on some clothes, got up and got out of bed.

Lu Mingzheng was sitting alone at the dining table, with his hands in his hair, thinking about something.

Xie Chenjun came, Lu Ming looked up at him.Xie Chenjun only wore a hip-length white shirt with nothing underneath.

Lu Ming's eyes moved away quickly like an electric shock.Then he grabbed his hair and lowered his head, looking as if he was in some pain, and then he sighed deeply.

"Mr. Lu, what's wrong with you?" Xie Chenjun hurried over and asked with concern, "Are you uncomfortable?"

Could it be... Tired last night? ? ?

Lu Ming raised his face again, put his hand on his back, and said, "No. Are you... all right?"

"Well, it's fine."

"Go and put on a pair of pants and socks, so you don't catch a cold."

"Oh……"

Xie Chenjun dressed obediently and came back, and sat down opposite Lu Ming, who had already scooped up the porridge for him.

Lu Ming looked a little strange.He didn't always have a playful smile like he used to, but instead had a serious face, even more serious than in class.Xie Chenjun lowered his head and took a sip of porridge, wondering if he was shy or angry...

Lu Ming didn't move his chopsticks, just watched him eat with lowered eyes.After taking a few mouthfuls of porridge, Xie Chenjun asked him, "Mr. Lu, why don't you eat it?"

"Well, you can eat first, and we can talk after eating."

Xie Chenjun felt a "thump" in his heart.This sentence is too similar to the tone of the teacher speaking to the students. What's the matter? After last night, I have to go to a review class. Do you want to summarize and comment...

"Let's talk now," Xie Chenjun put down his spoon, "otherwise I won't be able to eat it."

"..."

A lot of things are different after having that relationship.Both of them have noticed this subtle atmosphere from just now.

Lu Ming propped his forehead and stared at the table, wishing he could bury his face in it too.Xie Chenjun cast his concerned eyes again, Lu Ming didn't dare to lift his head, but just whispered: "I'm so beast..."

"..." Xie Chenjun was stunned for a moment, then laughed, "Pfft..."

Lu Ming raised his face melancholy, his brows were twisted into the word "eight".

"Don't blame Teacher Lu," Xie Chenjun picked up the spoon again, "I took the initiative. Well, I should thank Teacher Lu, last night was very comfortable..."

"..."

Lu Ming felt a little ashamed, but Xie Chenjun seemed to be able to guess the reason for his current state.

Although the age difference between the two is less than ten years old, after all, Lu Ming knew him when he was very young, and he has been getting along with him as a teacher, or "elder" since then.If last night was really unexpected by Lu Ming, then Xie Chenjun's remorseful face is totally understandable.

Or...he didn't really want what happened last night?He, doesn't he like himself...

Lu Ming wiped his face with his hands, trying to make himself more awake.He took a deep breath, stopped avoiding Xie Chenjun's gaze, stared straight at him and said, "Xiao Jun, can you answer me a question?"

"Huh? Good."

Is it a "since when did you like me" kind of question...

"You..." Unexpectedly, Lu Ming said, "Are you sure you really like men?"

"!"

Xie Chenjun's expression froze immediately.What kind of problem is this?After the two of them had done everything they had to do——Lu Ming actually began to wonder if he really liked men?

Is this something he should be suspicious of at this moment? ? ?

"Mr. Lu, why do you ask that?..."

If I don't like it, I will stay at your house, then get into your bed, kiss you secretly, and finally have an affair with you, don't you know what the world is?

This is what Xie Chenjun wanted to say, but he swallowed it all when facing Lu Ming's face.

But Xie Chenjun was still very angry.He felt that this "old man" was too ignorant of romance.Obviously, now should be the moment when the two of them are in love the most. Even according to the usual routine, when the two of them have finished their breakfast, or maybe they haven't finished eating, it's time to have another shot. He actually asked such a question that ruined the atmosphere. .

What is he trying to do?Denying Xie Chenjun's motives made him easy to leave with his pants? ? ?

Lu Ming's face was extremely tangled, as if he was actually the one who asked this question in more pain.

He weighed it in his mind for a long time, and finally, facing Xie Chenjun's slightly complaining face, he still weighed his words and said:

"Xiao Jun, actually what I really want to talk to you about is the incident ten years ago."

ten years ago? !Xie Chenjun's pupils grew slightly.The one where he was almost molested in the country ten years ago? ?

What does that matter have to do with their affairs!

"What do you mean—"

"Don't worry, listen to me," Lu Ming said hastily, "Actually, I've wanted to ask you since I heard that you went to study psychology, but I never had the chance. Xiao Jun, I have asked you several times in the past few years. Wanted to talk to you about that, but there just wasn't enough time, and you didn't seem to want to talk to me—"

"I've already let go of that matter," Xie Chenjun's face turned cold, "It's been so long, why bring it up now?"

"Xiao Jun—"

"I now understand what I didn't understand back then," Xie Chenjun continued, "That's a scumbag, and the villagers who refused to call the police are also quite ignorant; my parents' way of handling things was wrong, including their attitude towards me; Molestation of males is not considered a crime in the law, and even the Law on the Protection of Minors was only introduced in the fall of that year, so the significance of calling the police may really not be great.

"The only person who wasn't wrong in the whole thing was myself, of course I could be naive and unguarded, but even that wasn't my fault - that's all, I get it, what else?"

Lu Ming was silent.Xie Chenjun's reaction was what he expected—maybe it was because the child hadn't completely shed the rebellion of adolescence, but it was more likely because the shadow left by this incident in his heart was really huge.

Is it inappropriate to mention it now?Lu Ming thought in distress.Especially after the "that" relationship between the two just now...

Sure enough, I still have to blame myself for being too "animal"... Lu Ming fell into deep self-blame.How could it be out of control in that situation?God...

Xie Chenjun grabbed his hand to prevent him from pulling out his hair.At this moment, Xie Chenjun no longer looked like a child, and there was a firmness and determination on his face that Lu Ming had never seen before.

"Ms. Lu, I never blamed you for that incident," Xie Chenjun said seriously. "At first, I followed my parents' thinking, thinking that you made this incident a big one and made us lose face. But I don't blame you anymore, I know you are doing it for my own good...

"When I saw you later, I didn't talk to you, and it wasn't aimed at you—I didn't like to talk to adults when I was a child. Until now, I'm not very close to relatives and elders at home. Teacher Lu, if you're worried about me The previous attitude, then I can explain—"

"Xiao Jun, I don't mind your previous attitude," Lu Ming said a little tiredly, "I actually think it's right for you to be defensive towards grown men. I'm just afraid, afraid..."

"What are you afraid of?" Xie Chenjun had an idea, "Afraid of my parents? Don't worry, I won't let them know about us, and I won't let them trouble you—"

"Xiao Jun, we haven't reached that point yet."

"what?"

Xie Chenjun slowly let go of his hand and stared at him in disbelief.

Lu Ming's Adam's apple twitched, and he said earnestly, "Xiao Jun, what I've been worrying about is not the positive effect of that incident—if you start to be wary of all men because of that incident, or even hate all men, maybe It's not a bad thing, even if you ignore me because of it, I don't think it's a problem... But, what if that thing backfires?"

"reaction?"

Lu Ming stared at him deeply: "What if what happened that night made you curious about something?"

"what?!"

curious?What's the meaning?He thinks that his interest in "that aspect" of men is all because of curiosity? !

Xie Chenjun stood up abruptly, and Lu Ming immediately grabbed him: "Xiao Jun——"

"You're saying," Xie Chenjun became excited, "You're saying that man touched me, and I'm addicted to being touched by him, aren't you? That's why I crawled into your bed and did things like that to you ——That's why I think I like men, it's all because that scum touched me, isn't it?!"

"I didn't mean that, Xiaojun," Lu Ming got up and hugged him, "I'm sorry I shouldn't have said that, I was wrong, I'll explain it to you in another way—"

"Don't explain it! It's not like I don't understand human language!" Xie Chenjun pushed him away, his voice trembling, "And do you still think that because you are the one who saved me, I just chose you? You just want to tell me that I'm not naturally attracted to men, are you? I'd better get out of your sight right now, right?!"

"Xiao Jun! Stop making trouble!" Lu Ming hugged him tightly, not letting him struggle at all, "Calm down and listen to me. I have never doubted that you like me, but I am just worried that if you If that hadn't happened, you probably wouldn't have even thought of stepping into our world, you might have been a 'normal person'—"

"'Normal'?" Xie Chenjun's eyes were red, "What is 'normal'? Are we abnormal? Are you abnormal? Then let me ask you, Lu Ming, since when did you know that you like men? ? What was your opportunity? Were you ever touched when you were a child? Or were you the one who touched others too!—”

"Xiao Jun!"

Lu Ming looked at him in shock, with extremely complicated eyes.Xie Chenjun's appearance made people feel strange when he said this, but this may also be a certain side of him, a very real side, but Lu Ming never knew it...

After Xie Chenjun finished speaking, he was also deeply hurt by this sentence.He covered his face and leaned into Lu Ming's arms, and kept crying: "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I didn't mean that, I didn't want to say that..."

Lu Ming hugged him tightly, touched his back and comforted him gently: "It's okay, it's okay, don't cry..."

·

Lu Ming's gentleness is the good medicine to heal him.After a long time, Xie Chenjun calmed down slowly, tears condensed on his cheeks.

Lu Ming wiped his face, his eyes full of distress: "Stop crying. It's all my fault, let's not talk about it..."

"Tell me, Teacher Lu," Xie Chenjun leaned on his shoulder and sniffed, "I am still a child in front of you, right? I don't know as much as you, and I don't think as deeply as you. You If you know anything else, tell me, okay? I also want to know why I like men, and I also want to know why I like you..."

Lu Ming's "old face" blushed.It is gratifying that Xie Chenjun is finally willing to listen to him carefully; more importantly, at this moment, Xie Chenjun is curled up on his shoulders like a soft kitten, making it even more difficult for him to hold back...

No, no, calm down quickly, Lu Ming said to himself.But you must not be a "beast" again, the appearance of Xie Chenjun moaning hoarsely in his ear last night is still vivid in his memory——

stop.He extinguished the picture in his mind, and turned to Xie Chenjun and said:

"Xiao Jun, I may not know much more than you, but when I heard that you were going to study psychology, I thought you were looking for some explanations and some healing methods—isn't it? You are because of sexual orientation. Out of curiosity, or because of something else, can you tell me about the psychology you are studying?"

"It's not because of sexual orientation," Xie Chenjun raised his face and said, "I have liked you for a long time."

"!"

Lu Ming's ears burst into red instantly, but he pretended to be calm and said, "How early?"

"Well……"

Xie Chenjun didn't speak.

Probably, from the first meeting...