Love you No.17 years

Two years and five months later, cold winter.

Lu Ming walked into the hospital carrying a thermos bucket, which contained pigeon soup he had just stewed this morning.

It was very deserted in the ward.Huai Ya was sitting in front of the hospital bed fiddling with wool, preparing to weave a scarf for Xiao Yu; Xiao Zhenghan was leaning on the hospital bed without saying a word, thin and pale, with an unknown magazine on his lap, but his eyes were wandering, as if Didn't really read a few words.

Lu Ming's arrival brought color to both of their faces.Huai Ya opened the thermos bucket, and a rich aroma came over her face.She looked at Lu Ming appreciatively, and said:

"The craftsmanship is getting better and better, Xiao Ming."

"Yes," Lu Ming smiled casually, and leaned against the window, "I never studied the recipes so seriously when I was taking care of that little devil before. I think he will be surprised when he comes back."

The "little devil" he was talking about was probably Xie Chenjun, but the three people in the room knew that Xie Chenjun hadn't come back for more than two years.

Lu Ming left without saying goodbye that morning two years ago because something happened to his best friend Xiao Zhenghan.

The fatal disease is leukemia, but fortunately, it is chronic. The doctor said that if it is properly controlled, it can live for at least ten years.

But this "proper control" is not so easy to achieve.The radical solution still needs to be bone marrow transplantation, but the matching is a long way off; fortunately, the targeted drug for this disease entered the Chinese market just a year ago, and it is a bit more expensive, but Xiao Zhenghan's family conditions are better than Pingcheng's Most of the people are now relying on burning money to continue their lives, and they have passed through nearly [-] months safely.

It's just that the former brilliance on the faces of the couple is gone.The serious illness fell like a mountain, and even a well-off family with a little accumulation like them couldn't bear it forever.

Just a month ago, Huai Ya sold the family villa and moved back to the original old house; and just a week ago, Huai Ya asked Lu Ming if he had any students who just wanted to buy a piano. Also sold.

They didn't sell much, maybe [-] to [-] yuan, but it was enough for Xiao Zhenghan to take medicine for a month.

·

Huai Ya asked when Xie Chenjun would come back, Lu Ming scratched his head and said that it would be the nearest.They just called a few days ago, but it was also rare-they hadn't contacted each other for nearly half a year.

That sudden departure probably made Xie Chenjun a little angry. At first Lu Ming contacted him and he never responded—Lu Ming didn't deliberately hide it, but he was afraid of affecting Xie Chenjun's exam at the time, and he didn't understand the situation clearly, so he chose not to say it for the time being. .

After returning to Pingcheng, Lu Ming felt a little relieved, at least his friend's life would not be in danger for a while.After Xiao Zhenghan learned about the two of them, he said that he should not tell Xie Chenjun at all.

"Even if he doesn't worry about me, he will worry about you." Xiao Zhenghan said.

Because he should know how important this only true friend is to Lu Ming.

If it was said that Xiao Zhenghan's wife and children were the most affected by his illness, then Lu Ming was the next one. Lu Ming himself said that he was already a "lonely man" in this world, and he absolutely could not lose Xiao Zhenghan as a good friend.

After all, at that time, he thought that he and Xie Chenjun had almost come to an end.

·

·

A few people didn't talk too much about Xie Chenjun.Both Xiao Zhenghan and his wife knew that Lu Ming had not had a good life in the past two years.The friend's illness is already a sharp and fragile bone in his heart, and he still has to bear the strong but unspeakable longing for his lover.At least the two of them had heard that Lu Mingguang had gotten drunk in bars alone in the past two years, no less than dozens of times.

So now it is a miracle that he can still look at Xiao Zhenghan in a decent manner.

He also deliberately went for a haircut today. His thick, messy hair was trimmed to the neck, and the hair on the top of his head was pulled back. He looked mature and stable without losing the character of an "artist".

"Sister, go back and rest for a while," Lu Ming said, "We have to rely on you for dinner. That little brat of yours is coming back for dinner tonight, I can't handle his mouth..."

There was a shadow in Huai Ya's eyes, and the whole person looked exhausted.Xiao Zhenghan suddenly had a high fever last night and was rushed to the hospital.In the past two years, his condition has been relatively stable, but the immunity of leukemia patients is low, and he will have a fever from time to time.And in order to prevent complications, he has to stay in the hospital for a while every time he has a fever, and he is already a frequent visitor in the hospital.

Huai Ya handed Xiao Zhenghan over to Lu Ming to take care of him, and then he packed up and went home.Lu Ming got a small stool and sat down by the bed, looked at each other with Xiao Zhenghan, and then both of them giggled.

"It's rare to see you looking so doglike. Those who didn't know thought Xiao Jun was coming back soon." Xiao Zhenghan laughed at him as usual.

"Yeah, who knows," Lu Ming also said with a smile, "He said he could come back after handing in the thesis before the end of the year, who knows if he will suddenly come back tomorrow..."

However, whether he will come to see him again when he comes back is probably unknown.

"His father's business has not been very good in the past two years," Xiao Zhenghan sighed, "I probably didn't tell him, because he was afraid that he would not feel at ease going to school outside. I don't know if the child will return to Pingcheng. Xie Qun is not the same as before. Do you keep talking about wanting him to come back and inherit the family business..."

Lu Ming snorted a few times when he heard the word "Xie Qun".He picked up an orange from the bedside table and peeled it with his bare hands, as if the orange had a grudge against him.

"Just the kind of ungrateful guy who alienates you as soon as he hears that you are sick... It deserves it! I wish his restaurant would close down now, and the couple would go to the street to beg for food to relieve their anger!"

He threw out the orange peel angrily, and Xiao Zhenghan couldn't help laughing:

"Why are you still acting like a child? You still have such a clear distinction between love and hate... It's normal. My illness is a bottomless pit. Even relatives at home may not be reliable, let alone ordinary friends?"

Xiao Zhenghan spoke weakly.In fact, he looks pretty good on weekdays, probably because the high fever last night took away too much energy from him, and now he really shows the appearance of a "terminally ill patient", Lu Ming feels worried when he sees it.

"Don't talk nonsense," Lu Ming stuffed the orange into Xiao Zhenghan's hand, and then peeled another one, "What bottomless pit? You have to believe in modern medicine. This disease was incurable a few years ago, isn't it? Suddenly there is a special medicine? You have to be patient, maybe in a few years, you can be completely cured without bone marrow transplantation..."

However, Xiao Zhenghan's eyes were dull, he just leaned against the back of the bed with a pale face, moved his chapped lips slightly, and said, "Who knows if I can wait until then... I heard that Huai Ya has asked you to help sell the piano , is it sold?"

Lu Ming looked up at him guiltily, then lowered his head to stare at Cheng Zi:

"What are you selling pianos for? How much can you sell for? Don't worry about the money. I have enough money in my account for you to live well. Why worry about it..."

Xiao Zhenghan looked at him, and Lu Ming raised his head again: "I did the calculation for you. My savings and the big house I live in alone are enough to keep you chic for a few more years. You can live with peace of mind. Well, we don’t have enough money, let’s earn it. Some time ago, the principal of the art school had a drink with me, and I went there to be a teacher, so I can get this amount in a month—”

He made a "6" with his fingers, and then said: "How about it, isn't it okay? It's pretty good to be able to get this number in Pingcheng, plus I usually take care of the students... how can I go back to the university?" I want to be a teacher in the city. The more you go to the big cities to play the piano, the more expensive the tuition. I heard that in Shanghai, students who have not yet graduated pay a hundred yuan a class. If I go there, I won’t be able to make a lot of money, right? ?”

Xiao Zhenghan still looked at him, and after a while he lowered his eyes bitterly.

"Are you planning to go out to work for me..."

"What's wrong with work? I just didn't want to, it doesn't mean I can't~"

"But I don't want you to work so hard," Xiao Zhenghan said, "especially I don't want their mother and son to owe you too much."

Lu Ming's expression changed instantly.He sat up straight and said seriously, "Xiao Zhenghan, what are you talking about? Who owes whom? What do you owe me?"

Xiao Zhenghan knew that he would get irritable when this matter was mentioned, so he immediately comforted him and said: "Xiao Ming, I know you are doing it for my own good. But, after all, we are not...we owe you money, and we will have to pay it back sooner or later. I don't have long Well, even if I live a few more years, I can't carry it on my shoulders, and I can't make much money to pay you back. I don't want their mother and son to have to carry so many things after I leave. After all, this is what I owe you, not them. , I can’t let Xiao Yu be so small—”

"Why can't it?" Lu Ming's eyes turned red all of a sudden, and he really became irritable, "Do you know what you are talking about? You want to say that we are not a family after all, right? My name is Huai Ya for so many years Calling 'Sister' for nothing??"

"Xiao Ming, it's not—"

"And who asked Xiao Yu to pay me back the money in the future!" He stood up abruptly, "The big deal is to let him be my son and provide for my pension, so now you have nothing to say about how much I love to spend on him, right? ——No, I don’t understand Xiao Zhenghan, I like to spend money on you, that’s my pleasure, no one else can find a friend like me with a lantern, why don’t you know what’s good or bad???”

Xiao Zhenghan's eyes were also red, and he said in a hoarse voice: "Of course I also want to thank you. If I can live like a normal person for the rest of my life, I am willing to use the rest of my life to repay you... But I don't want their mother and son to be with me. After I left, I suffered so much. Did you really not pay it back when you said they didn’t have to pay it back? Can they live with peace of mind? Every day when I’m not around, even if something worthwhile happens, they can’t take it with me. Laugh out of any guilt?"

Lu Ming scratched his head irritably.So how do you say he hates the world of adults?This world is full of humanity, sophistication, and a sense of boundaries.Xiao Zhenghan and Huai Ya only have a marriage relationship, and they have become a "family" ever since.Since then, there has been no debt relationship between them, and they have to share the blessings and share the troubles. The money owed for the husband's medical treatment must be repaid by the wife and son, because they are the so-called "family"...

And no matter what Lu Ming is, he is just their "friend". No matter how kind, how willing, or in the name of "charity", he will make them feel indebted, and will make people with a little conscience think about it even if they exhaust their whole life energy. way to repay.

In this way, it is impossible for Lu Ming to have a "family" in his life, because even if his Xiao Jun is willing to come back, they will not be able to get a marriage certificate, and they will not be able to become a "family" in the true sense.

What to do, he became even more irritable when he thought of his little Jun.At this time, Xiao Zhenghan seemed to have made up his mind, and spoke with great difficulty:

"Xiao Ming, Huai Ya and I have discussed it. When the family's money is exhausted, we will die..."

"What the hell-"

"Don't worry, just listen to me," Xiao Zhenghan looked up at him, the bruises in his eyes were very conspicuous, "Actually, I secretly saved a small sum of money without telling her. The old house at home is too old. It's still on the slope, it's dangerous to go up and down in rainy days... Xiaoyu will study in Pingcheng for several years, I think after I leave, you can use the money to help me buy them a small house in the suburbs, as long as it is convenient for Xiaoyu to go to school Well, don't tell them—"

"What are you thinking about?" Lu Ming glared angrily, with a terrifying aura, but his voice was slightly trembling, "How do you know that you won't survive the past few years? There is obviously a way to cure it, so how can there be no reason to let it go? Don’t say we still have money, even if the day when the family is exhausted—isn’t there still a person? Can’t we think of a way at that time? And maybe in a few years, the medicine will be included in the medical insurance, so there’s no need for it Expensive, if you die early, you will lose money, huh???"

"Why don't I want to live?" Xiao Zhenghan said, tears streaming down his line, "But I love their mother and son, and I love you too. I will leave sooner or later, I hope you can live a good life and not be dragged down by me go on living-"

"Who the hell said you were dragged down!" Lu Ming was so angry that he smashed the orange peel in his hand to the ground, "Who doesn't want to 'go' while alive? Could it be that you don't want to live because you will die? You, you, you——you are so mad at me! I don’t want to tell you anymore. Anyway, I won’t promise you. From now on, I will watch you take medicine every day. If you dare not take it, I, what the hell, I'm going to be tough..."

He paced a few steps in the ward, and rushed out to find a place to smoke.Huai Ya came to deliver dinner in the afternoon, seeing the awkward atmosphere between the two of them, one can roughly guess what happened.

"Xiao Ming-"

"Don't talk to me," Lu Ming had been digesting for an entire afternoon, but now he was still angry, "You two are good people who have done too much, you should learn from your old neighbors, learn from their ungratefulness... I don't want to talk to you After arguing, you can just pretend that you don’t know me, or that I’m doing charity. Anyway, I’m willing to spend money, can you control it?! I’m so pissed off. Already!"

He strode out of the ward, but in a blink of an eye, he was at the corner of the corridor and slowly squatted down grabbing the handrail.

He had never felt such a dull pain in his heart, not even when his father died suddenly.

He thought that if one day he suffers from some terminal illness, it's better to have a quicker one, not to drag on in this world and make those who care about him feel pain for him...

Then he thought again, by then, there probably would be no one in the world who cared about him, right?

Lu Ming smiled wryly, the lonely figure just stayed on the steps, he hugged his head tightly...