Blick in die Ferne Looking Away

?In the coolness of the night of love

you receive and give life

A strange feeling catches you

When the candlelight shines quietly

you can no longer lie dormant

trapped in the shadows of darkness

A new longing urges you

to the higher marriage

——Goethe "Looking for Happiness"

Everyone left, and only the Duke and I were left at the round table in the conference hall.

I looked at August next to me, waiting for him to tell me why I was here.But he seemed to ignore my sight on purpose, he held the goblet with his fingertips, swirled the red wine in the glass, sniffed it with his nose, and then drank it with a satisfied expression.

"Would you like some more?" He suddenly said when I was finally impatient and ready to ask.

"Then I won't be polite," I stretched out my right hand, "Please give me a glass, and pass me the bottle."

August looked at me with the corner of his mouth raised, then drank the wine in the glass, dragging the back of my neck to block my mouth.

The mellow red wine poured into my mouth along the gap between the overlapping lips, and then the dexterous tongue slid in, pushing the fiery liquid deeper.The sucking action continued to deepen, and every tongue-to-tongue entanglement revealed joy and fueled the flames.

After finally pushing away August's offensive, I covered my mouth and coughed uncontrollably, feeling like I was drifting away from head to toe.The feeling of suffocating and kissing someone with wine flowing down the throat is so bad, it's almost like you just died once.

I panted and stared at August who was beside me, he licked away the red liquid left at the corner of his mouth, and he was smiling happily seeing my distressed appearance.

"Like a vampire." I blurted out.

He realized that this was my evaluation of him, and shrugged indifferently, "Don't look at me with such terrifying eyes, you must know that I only suck your blood."

Again, I don't know how to interface.August is always like this, blazing love words, strong actions, he showed me his desire and absolute suppression for me without any scruples, but he never asked me to respond.

He won't wait for my promise after a certain confession, and of course, I never thought about giving him any promise.Maybe it's because of his arrogance and status that he doesn't care, but I prefer to choose because he understands me.

He understands that I can't give him anything, because what I can give has already been given to Schiller.He won't wait because he knows he can't wait.So I can't give a clear definition of our current relationship, I just don't want his feelings to be completely unresponsive, I just want to do my best to fulfill him, sad things like feelings should not happen in on everyone.

It's just that this hope that shouldn't exist is dangerous after all.

"You left me, what's the matter?"

"I just want to remind you that we haven't been together for a long time." August took my hand, "You are always so busy. Are you busy avoiding me?"

"No," I smiled reassuringly, "you have to give me a chance to adapt. Adapt to this change."

"Sometimes I'm really angry with myself. I'm actually comfortable getting along with this kind of relationship that doesn't get your heart. But I know that as long as I want to get your heart, you may have to hide away again." far away."

"It's really contradictory, so I have to be content with the status quo, although I'm not reconciled." August's tone was a little annoyed, "You have polished the ambition of the lord of a country, you are really amazing."

"As the leader of a country, you have done a good job," I comforted. "It's just about feelings, even the head of a country can't do anything about it. Because it is, after all, a matter between two people."

"Well then, I can't get the heart, so what about the body? Is your bottom line just kissing?" August asked, "Or, what are you afraid of? Afraid that the fortress of the heart will be destroyed by the pleasure of the body Is it?" He stared at me, asking mercilessly.

"Okay, I admit it. If I sleep with you, I may gradually fall into it. After all, a man's body is always difficult to control. So I will simply kill this terrible possibility from the root. You don't want too much Well, I really can only give you so much."

"Then you can't control it. I can't control my body, he just wants you!" August said angrily, "If it doesn't work, I'll give you medicine!"

"How dare you!" I glanced at him coldly.

"Then I'll ask someone to tie you up so that you can't resist!" He said again.

"If you really dare to do this, there will never be a Goethe in Weimar." I said coldly.

August seemed to be sincerely trying to get angry with me, he snorted coldly, "Joke, I won't let you go! I will definitely lock you up in my bedroom, so that you can't get up every day!"

"August, you are childish!"

"Goethe, you wait!"

The two of us glared at each other, neither of us willing to compromise.The atmosphere in the entire conference hall was as cold as ice.

After a long silence, I snorted coldly and said, "If there is nothing else, I'll leave first. Farewell." Saying this, I turned and left.

As soon as the door was opened, August's helpless voice suddenly came from behind, "Goethe~ I'm joking, you actually believe it! Come back!"

The corners of my mouth raised imperceptibly, I shook my head, looked at August who was sitting on the sofa with a stern look, and asked, "Do you have anything else to do?"

He thought for a while, and answered honestly: "Not anymore."

"Then why am I still here?" I spread my hands.

August frowned, "Then you are not allowed to leave."

I was dumbfounded. Is this child acting like a baby?So the tone turned helpless, and he said in a somewhat reproachful tone: "Isn't this going to be a visit, I have to go home and take care of it. And I still have a lot of work to hand over, where is it like you, you are nothing, you still have to be here What kind of 'star waterfall' should be added to the tour itinerary?"

Hearing me mention "Star Falls", August's face suddenly cleared up, he stood up, picked up another unopened bottle of red wine on the table and walked to me, with a firm tone, "Star Falls is definitely going of."

Just as I was about to ask why, he suddenly pressed the mouth of the red wine bottle against my lips, it was cold and cold, and the woody smell of the cork mixed with the mellow and fruity aroma of the wine floated into my nose, and I sniffed hard One sip, the indescribable joy in my heart.

August whispered in my ear: "Don't ask the reason, you'll know when you go." He smiled slyly, "Also, take this bottle of wine back to taste, it's a Bordeaux wine sent by the French royal family, I don't think you must have tasted the wine just now."

My heart beat a little faster, so I had to smile to hide my embarrassment.

He stuffed the wine bottle into my hand, squeezed it lightly, then kissed me lightly on the lips, and said: "Go back and rest early. Your dedication always scares me, think more about yourself, Otherwise, I will have to demote you."

"Okay." I nodded and left.

There is too much reluctance and attachment in the eyes of August looking at me.And I always thought that his enthusiasm for me would fade with my compromise.

Hunters always prefer rebellious prey, don't they?But August, why are you more passionate than ever?

After all, Weimar was not as big as France and Italy, and the duke's trips were simple and plain.

A fleet of carriages escorted by the Privy Council, the cabinet ministers seeing off, and a beautiful song presented by Christine formed this short farewell ceremony.The Duke sat in a luxuriously decorated carriage in the middle, kissing Christine on the cheek with a smile.

"During this time, please take good care of our country for me." He looked at her, giving his final instructions.

"I know, brother. You have to take care of yourself too," Christie said with a smile as she looked at me standing beside the carriage, "and Goethe."

"Hehe, that's for sure, he is my brother-in-law after all." The Duke said polite words without changing his face, while Christine's expression was as calm as water.Everyone knows the entanglement between us, and no one wants to mention it, except me.

The Duke held out his hand to me, trying to pull me into the car.I deliberately ignored his movements and turned to Tignes instead. While kissing politely, I whispered, "I'm sorry."

She smoothed the wrinkles on my clothes with her hands, she was gentle and virtuous, just like other wives who see off their husbands.Tignes eyes were hidden deep under the thick eyelashes, and she never looked up at me from the beginning to the end.

"You should say sorry, but not to me."

While I was still pondering her words, she had already bowed and retreated into the distance.As I watched her gradually receding figure, I suddenly felt a sense of powerlessness.In this embarrassing situation, who is to blame.

"Goethe." The Duke issued the invitation again, but there was an obvious sense of oppression in his voice.I was in a stalemate with him, and no one backed down.

The horses pulling the cart were stamping their hoofs impatiently, and the ministers around looked at us who were at our swords and whispered uneasily.

In the end, I didn't insist on it, and asked the Duke to pull me into the carriage like an appointment. Unexpectedly, when I was standing on one foot and my center of gravity was unstable, the Duke put more force on his hand and made me fall into his arms.Under the cover of his robe, he held my ankle arrogantly with his hands, and his tone was unimaginably sinister.

"I hate your fawning expression on Tignes. In my eyes, she's just your ex-wife."

"If you agree, you can divorce us when you come back. Anyway, it's hurting her if it goes on like this."

I struggled to my feet in shame, and quickly got into the seat of the carriage.The monarch and his ministers in the same car are enough to attract attention, but August suddenly came here again, which really made me make a fool of myself in front of everyone. Fortunately, Schiller didn't come today, so I went out through the gap in the gauze curtain. snoop.

But why didn't he come?The fingers holding the gauze curtain tightened involuntarily, and I thought sadly, Schiller, you still can't forgive me after all.

In fact, I know that the person I should say sorry to is you.

Since the carriage drove out of the inner city of Weimar, August's mood seemed to improve.He looked out of the car window full of curiosity and joy. Only then did I realize that the man sitting next to me was young and had a strong thirst for knowledge. Most importantly, he had lived in the castle deep in Weimar since he was a child. In other places, he also has those loneliness that is not humane.

In his gauze tent, there are wonderful women who are endlessly favored; in his study, there are mountains of government affairs that need to be dealt with.Every night, he might find it difficult to fall asleep. When he gets up and looks to his side, all he sees are those unfamiliar faces that are enough to comfort the body but not the soul. The stars outside the window are as dense and bright as ever.

I put my hand around his waist, and I couldn't help thinking about the days when I was a teenager studying law at the University of Leipzig alone.

Every lonely day is hard.

Maybe because he felt the sudden increase in the temperature of his back and the strength of the clenched waist, August turned around and put me in his arms close to the window lattice. I looked up at his face, and there was a peaceful place.

He suddenly lowered his head and kissed me, then turned my face to the window, "I know my face is very attractive, but you will have a chance to see it in the future, but if you miss these beauties, you won't be able to make up for them."

I smiled lightly, and according to my words, I focused on the gradually receding scenery outside the window.

The rolling hills are streaked with cyan at the boundary of the field of vision, and the milky white mist covers the distant green peaks, swirling and flowing, so gentle that people cannot move their eyes.The carriage moved forward unhurriedly, and I leaned on August's strong chest, listening to the rhythmic concerto of horseshoes and wheels.August's steady breath flowed along the pinnae, and I couldn't help but close my eyes, allowing myself to blend into this peaceful and peaceful atmosphere.

After a brief jolt, I heard him exclaim inadvertently: "Look, Goethe, the Ilm!"

I opened my eyes, and the ribbon-like river came into my sight.The river in my impression, the deep affection, seems to wake up in my heart at this moment.

The sound of gurgling water brought me back to the past in a trance.

……

I lay on the hillside in early spring, letting the smell of grass and soil fill my nostrils.In the half-brightness, I suddenly heard a bright voice coming from beside me.

"What were you thinking?" he asked.

"I'm wondering how long our story will last." I turned my head, looked at the handsome face beside me, couldn't help but take his hand, and put it on my lips for a soft kiss.

He didn't refuse, just laughed softly, and asked again: "So have you figured out the answer?"

"This answer belongs to two people," I blinked. "Now I want to ask another protagonist's opinion."

"Who is that person?" He pretended to be puzzled.

I nod his nose nasty, "Stop being an idiot, Schiller."

Schiller laughed and sat up awkwardly.He looked at me with the stubbornness, confidence and passion of a teenager in his eyes.I believe that at first I was attracted by his unruly eyes, and then I gradually couldn't stop.

Instead of answering, he asked me, "Goethe, how long have we known each other."

I thought about it, and got up and sat beside him, "If we just knew each other, it would be 3 years and 8 months. If we count from the confession, it would be less than a year."

Schiller looked at the Ilm River flowing quietly not far away, and suddenly asked, "Do you want me to answer that question just now?"

"If you want." I pouted.

He looked at me, reached out and stroked my face, then down, lingering at the Adam's apple. "We have been together for less than a year. Can just a few months determine the direction of the next few decades? I don't think so, because no one knows what will happen in the future."

Uncomfortably, I took his hand walking downstream, and said in an unexpected tone, "What do you mean?"

"Literally." Schiller's expression remained calm, and the smile on his lips was seductive and sexy. I was sure that it was [-]% seductive.

"However, what I really want to say is that as long as I'm with you for one day, I will cherish this hard-won time. Therefore, promises and agreements are not cheap or necessary for us."

I took his hand, pushed him down on the lawn, and smiled evilly, "You mean, get together and get away?"

"Almost." He skillfully exchanged deep kisses with me, expressing the deepest affection between each other with playful and entangled tongues, and I put my hand into his shirt to tease the trembling protrusion on his chest.Schiller's body trembled slightly, and the sound of rolling out of his throat was like a cat scratching, which made me itchy all over.

He is still as sensitive as ever. Although he has not been officially cultivated by me, the long-term foreplay and mutual comfort are enough for us to understand each other's body and needs.Schiller's words have been lingering in my mind.Good get together and break up?I really couldn't contain my revenge, so I decided to punish him slightly.

Thinking in my mind, the movements of my hands didn't stop.As if inadvertently rubbing, stroking, the hand slid along the silky skin from the back waist to the inner thigh of the person underneath.

"Uh..." Schiller's body froze, and his face became more rosy. He raised his head and kissed my lips, sucking vigorously, licking the two thin pieces of skin with his pink tongue.I opened my mouth, sucked the hot tongue in my mouth, and pressed his head to myself with my free hand.

"Goethe...I can't do it..." Schiller's cheeks were flushed, he stopped my neck and bit my earlobe.I let him resist like a baby, just held the hand of Schiller's lower body, but stopped moving.

I looked at Schiller provocatively, and he licked his lips impatiently, wanting to pounce on me and kiss me again.I rubbed my lips against his ear and asked intentionally, "Have you broken up yet?"

He was startled for a moment, then smiled knowingly, he pecked my temples lightly, and said in a low voice, "I mean, I just want to have a good time with you, as for leaving, let's see if anyone comes to disrupt it."

"Both of us, neither one can destroy it." I added unwillingly, and the two continued to entangle.

"Oh, who knows."

On that day, on the hillside outside Weimar, surrounded by the Ilm River, the sun's flames were not as hot as the intertwined body, and the breeze and flowing water were not as soft as the smile on the man's face. At the first moment, even in the spring of March, he had to admit defeat.It's a pity that that beautiful scene has now become a flower in the moon in the mirror, fragile and beautiful that cannot be touched, and can only be deeply locked in the memory of the two of them, that's all.

In fact, Schiller, you already know.After all, the person I hate the most is me.

……

"Goethe, what's wrong with you? You don't look very good, are you motion sick?" The concerned voice in my ear pulled me out of my memory.

The mountains and rivers are still beautiful, and things are not unforgettable.

I turned my eyes away from the familiar scenery, and pulled out a comforting smile, "We've been walking all afternoon, maybe I'm tired, I want to rest for a while."

August was relieved a lot when he heard that, he pulled away the heavy cushions on the carriage, and made room for me to sit beside him and lean against him.Seeing that he was in a happy mood, I couldn't bear to refuse after all, so I quietly closed my eyes and fell asleep.

It's just that I don't know why, when I recall the past, my heart hurts unbearably, and when I calm down and prepare to lock the memory again, I suddenly have a very disturbing thought.I always feel that if I forget, I will really lose it.

Consciousness gradually blurred, I gently took the arm of the person beside me, and involuntarily hummed softly, "Schiller."

I think I am really tired.

I don't know how long it took me to wake up, but when I opened my eyes, I found that I was completely in a strange environment.My head was a little dizzy, I frowned and shook my head, trying to wake myself up.Swaying on the carriage, he really fell asleep.

I let out a breath, rubbed my eyes, got up and wanted to get off the bed, but found that my limbs were weak.

What's wrong with me?

"You finally woke up." The door was pushed open carefully, and Galibo came in with a basin, "You have been sleeping for a whole day with a fever, and you can't scream no matter what, it made us all anxious."

"Fever? Sleeping all day? How come..." I was silent, and then asked, "Where is Your Highness the Duke?"

"His Royal Highness has been by your side all day, and Emilia and the others have just persuaded him to go to rest. But this is the German countryside, and there are no good doctors. We can only take a car to the city tomorrow to give you a good care of His Royal Highness." have a look."

"Then we have to make a detour again?" I shook my head. The original plan was to go directly to France through the mountain stream. Later, I asked Auguste to go along the river, which added 2 days to the itinerary.Now if you take another detour for me, when will you arrive.

"I probably just caught a cold on the road, nothing serious." I said hastily.

"Whether there is a serious problem is not up to you, it depends on what the doctor says." A sullen voice came from the door, and Galibo and I were surprised.

"His Royal Highness."

"Well," August nodded, then walked to my bed and sat down, and touched my forehead, "The temperature hasn't dropped at all, what are you doing, take a rest." He pressed me again Back on the bed, he helped me cover the quilt tightly.

"It's okay to rest, but you must never go around. It's really impossible to find a doctor from the town to pick it up." I said.

"There are more complete medicines in big cities, my dear, don't be awkward." August's tone seemed to comfort a disobedient child.

I glanced at Galibo, who was stunned by our conversation, and felt the temperature on my face rise several degrees. I said anxiously, "Don't go around, go straight to France!"

"You have no right to order the convoy, tomorrow we will drive to the nearest town, Francie," Auguste glared at me viciously, "it is because of your old and disregarded work that you have ended up like this today! "

"You are worrying too much, it's just a small cold. I appreciate your concern, and I don't agree with the detour!"

"You have no right to disagree." August turned his head away from looking at me.

"You!" I was furious.

Galibeau, who had been neglected by me and August, suddenly sobbed. He choked up and said: "Seeing that the Duke is so considerate of Mr. Goethe's hard work, and seeing Mr. Goethe so considerate of the itinerary, the old minister is suddenly moved! There is such a thing. Leaders and courtiers support each other, the future of Weimar is not a dream!"

I looked at August with a dazed expression on my face, "What did we do to move this guy so much?"

August looked at me with a dazed expression, but in an instant he changed into a vicious expression, threatening: "I won't punish you if you have another opinion tomorrow."

Gallibo was not at all affected by the rising anger between me and August, and he still sang in tears: "Weimar~ Your future is not a dream!"

"To shut up!"

"roll!"

Two sharp eyes shot at Galibo at the same time.Galibo knew from this posture that if he didn't roll, he wouldn't succeed.So put down the basin and towel and slip away.