Anchor is forced to operate daily

"During this period of time, you have always suffered from insomnia, lack of energy, and always feel that you are not comfortable anywhere, right?"

Pei Yanzhi held his hand tightly, squeezing his fingers once in a while, with a gentle smile on his face.

"Hmm..." Cheng Yao nodded.

"You're sick." Pei Yanzhi raised his hand to touch his smooth face, and said softly.

"Ill?" Cheng Yao froze for a moment, then tilted his head slightly in doubt.

"Do you know that there is a disease called depression?" Pei Yanzhi said.

It happened to be a cloudy day, and the sky that was still sunny just now turned cloudy, and the air began to be filled with dust and moisture. In an instant, dark clouds were densely covered, and it seemed that it was going to rain again.

Cheng Yao's eyes were as gray as the weather outside. It seemed that it took him a long time to understand Pei Yanzhi's words, his expression remained unchanged, and he nodded slightly: "I've heard of it...but I don't know what it is. It's very Is it serious? Will you die?"

The next second his mouth was covered by Pei Yanzhi.

"What nonsense, no way." Scared by the ominous words, Pei Yanzhi suddenly held his breath, his heart almost jumped out of his chest, and then he let out a long sigh: "This is a kind of mental illness, which can make people become Sensitive, insomnia, always unhappy, can't cheer up."

Cheng Yao's body froze suddenly, and he opened his eyes unconsciously, feeling that a certain brain circuit that had been blocked all along had been opened.

sick.

He was not worthy of such a good Pei Yanzhi, and now he is still sick.

Would Pei Yanzhi feel that he was a drag?

Obviously, he has tried his best to catch up with Pei Yanzhi...

Unable to control himself, Cheng Yao began to feel sad, and tears quickly gathered in his eyes.

But Pei Yanzhi just told him not to cry.

The moment tears fell silently on his clothes, Cheng Yao's psychological defense finally collapsed.

It turned out that he couldn't even fulfill such a simple request as 'don't cry'...

The young man was driven by his illness to cry to vent the pain in his heart, but he was restrained by Pei Yan's words "don't cry" just now. He began to feel difficult to breathe, and wept silently, being caught between two forces. Repeatedly torn and ravaged in the middle.

In the end, he clutched his chest violently, lying on the edge of the sofa and began to retch, tears dripping down on the tiles one after another.

I want to cry, but I don't dare to cry.

The tears were completely uncontrollable.

Awful.

Pei Yanzhi had no way of knowing what kind of violent ideological struggle was going on in Cheng Yao's heart. At this moment, his heart felt like a knife was twisted, and he patted him on the back to give him comfort. He had no ideas, only regret in his mind.

If I knew that telling him would make him so uncomfortable, I would rather not say it.

"Hey, let's go to the hospital. You will feel better with some medicine."

Pei Yanzhi was held hostage by unprecedented heartache, his eyes were bloodshot, and he held Cheng Yao's hand tightly behind his back.

If he could make Cheng Yao feel better, he would rather put ten times a hundred times the pain on himself.

Cheng Yao was so uncomfortable that he couldn't straighten his back, tears kept falling like beads with a broken thread, and the veins on his face and forehead were all aroused, but he didn't dare to cry, his whole body was shaking uncontrollably.In the end, he used all his strength to hold his head up on the sofa, and pulled his sleeves to cover his eyes to keep the tears from falling.

The grief that surged up in his heart like a mountain and sea was actually suppressed by him.

It's just that his state doesn't seem to need to be much better just now, his breathing is messy, as if he will be forced to suffocate in the next second.

"Pei Yanzhi..."

With red eyes, Cheng Yao turned to look at the bewildered man in front of him, his eyes were empty and his face was ashen: "Let's...break up..."

As if hit hard again with a sap, Pei Yanzhi's heart stopped for a second, his pupils constricted, and there was a buzzing sound in his head, as if a certain string snapped.

Cheng Yao said it himself, but before Pei Yanzhi made any movements, he covered his mouth first, then pulled his hair vigorously, shaking his head like a broken machine.

In the next second, Pei Yanzhi grabbed his wrist and pulled him forward, pulling him closer to his arms.

Both of them bumped into each other painfully.

"Don't think about it, I don't agree."

The intense heartache made Pei Yanzhi's eyes turn red. He said the first three words with gnashing of teeth, but the rest quickly and softly fell like feathers.

"..."

Cheng Yao tried his best to grab his clothes and tried to explain something, but his throat seemed to be blocked by something, and he lost his voice. He couldn't say a word, and he was breathing heavily.

The devil pressed one nail after another in the deepest part of the boy's heart, dragging him, who was riddled with holes, into the darkest, dirtiest, and coldest abyss step by step.

Cheng Yao struggled with all his strength, all he could do was hug Pei Yanzhi with all his strength and kept shaking his head.

"I told you, Cheng Yao."

Pei Yanzhi held his baby tightly in his arms, and gently stroked his hair and back with his palm, trying to make the trembling in his voice less obvious.

"You have no room for regret."

Cheng Yao froze.

He must have heard this sentence before, when?Why can't I remember...

When did he hear it! ?

"You said it yourself, you want to spend the rest of your life with me."

Pei Yanzhi made up his mind to pull him out of his arms, pinched his chin and forced him to look at him, his eyes were fierce and tough like never before, obviously really angry.

"I said at the time that you have no room for repentance."

Cheng Yao's eyes trembled violently.

This is what they said to each other the day they were together.

Tears overflowed from the eyes again, and before they could roll down, they were wiped away by Pei Yanzhi's fingertips.

Pei Yanzhi's usual calmness and gentleness could no longer be maintained. Negative emotions such as sadness, helplessness, anger, and frustration were all visible on his face.

Looking at Pei Yanzhi like this, Cheng Yao's empty eyes suddenly loosened a bit, revealing a trace of real pain.

Maybe the negative can really be positive, under the extreme heartbreak, Pei Yanzhi even pulled the corners of his mouth into a smile, let go of Cheng Yao's chin, and affectionately rubbed the pinched red spot with the back of his hand.

"The wings of 6000 million miles away are stiff, and I feel that I can't hold you anymore, and I want to fly away, don't I?"

"No!" Yuanyuan's head shook like a rattle, and the voice system quickly reconnected, and stuttered again because of panic: "I...I won't fly, even [-] million...I won't fly!"

"You dare."

Pei Yanzhi laughed out loud, narrowed his eyes, and locked his sharp eyes on him.

"I've welded the cage to death, so don't even think about flying in your life."

This was the first time Cheng Yao saw Pei Yanzhi like this.

He finally realized that Pei Yanzhi treated him really special.

This man will also be sad and angry.

He is not without bad mood.

It's just that when facing thousands of miles away, there is only tenderness left.

But at the critical moment, his emotional outburst was like a tranquilizer, powerfully suppressing all the negative energy of Cheng Yao.

Cheng Yao gently tugged at the corner of his clothes, and said cautiously, "Can you... pretend I didn't say anything just now?"

"No."

Even a well-behaved child can turn bad if he gets used to it too much, Pei Yanzhi must let him know where his bottom line is, he shook his head resolutely, and even raised his eyes to look at the wall clock: "I will remember what day it is today. Calculated according to the average life expectancy of human beings, I can live to be 80 years old, and in the next 56 years, every year today, you have to think hard about how to coax me."

"..."

Cheng Yao stumbled, unable to think of what to say for a while, so he lowered his head and tugged at his clothes again.

The kid tried to pass the test with cuteness, but Pei Yanzhi ignored him, put on an unhappy look, and even hugged Pei Qian, who was squatting on the coffee table watching a play, into his lap, calmly leaned on the sofa and began to pluck the cat.

It's over, this time I'm really angry.

Cheng Yao scratched his head, frowning, and began to try to recruit.

After a while, he pursed his lips, leaned over and kissed Pei Yanzhi lightly on the mouth.

There was no splash, but Pei Yanzhi still ignored him.

Now Cheng Yao was completely panicked, seeing Pei Qian lying comfortably on Pei Yanzhi's lap, making grunting noises in his throat, and stretching out his chin to ask Pei Yanzhi to scratch his neck, acting like a goblin fighting for favor , it is not a good cat at first sight.

Cheng Yao frowned, drove the cat away without saying a word, lifted his feet and sat on Pei Yanzhi's lap facing him, stretched out his hands to hang around his neck, and said with aggrieved eyes: "It's agreed that you won't be angry with me..."

Pei Yanzhi finally couldn't bear it anymore.

He hugged Cheng Yao's waist and let out a long sigh, his smile was full of helplessness: "Do you still dare to joke about breaking up in the future?"

"No, no, no, no!" Cheng Yao shook his head repeatedly, saying important things three times.

Pei Yanzhi raised his hand to wipe away the half-dried tears in the corner of his eyes, and reasoned with him calmly: "Then tell me, why did you say that just now?"

"I can't control my emotions... I lose my temper with you..." Cheng Yao lowered his eyes, his expression darkened, "I'm afraid you won't like me after a long time... I said those things just because I didn't want to drag you down... "

"Say something stupid." Pei Yanzhi rubbed his head distressedly, his eyes were tender and full of love again, "My baby is just sick, and it will get better."

"Will it be?" Cheng Yao raised his eyelids and looked at him. He didn't seem very confident, and couldn't help but confirm with him, "Will it really be okay?"

Pei Yanzhi raised his eyebrows: "Don't you even believe me?"

"I believe it, I believe it." Cheng Yao nodded quickly, and rushed to hug him, "Take me to the doctor quickly, I am not afraid of hardship, I can take medicine, I want to get well soon."

Finally, in terms of medical treatment, Pei Yanzhi finally managed to coax the child well after experiencing sorrow and suffering.

Accompanied by Pei Yanzhi, Cheng Yao went to the hospital to find a psychiatrist recommended by Lu Cheng, and actively cooperated with the examination throughout the whole process, obediently doing the test questions.Even the doctor said when he was talking to Pei Yanzhi that the child didn't look like the moderate depression that Lu Cheng said.

When the final examination results came out, Lu Cheng's diagnosis was indeed correct.

But in the final analysis, the main purpose of coming to the hospital is to diagnose and prescribe medicine.

In terms of auxiliary observation and treatment, Lu Cheng is already professional enough.

Depression itself is a relatively special disease, and it mainly depends on the patient's self-healing. It is not like other minor diseases that can be cured simply by taking a few courses of medicine.

The so-called antidepressant drugs only improve neurotransmitters to make people feel calm, without violent emotions, without great joy and sorrow, and not easy to have extreme thoughts such as self-harm and suicide.

Mainly it is auxiliary.

After going home after a systematic inspection, Cheng Yao hadn't taken any medicine yet, but his mood improved a lot.

He recited silently in his heart over and over again, suggesting to himself

I'm just sick, and I'll get better.

Pei Yanzhi really loves me.

Even Lu Cheng was amazed after seeing Cheng Yao's SDS self-test questions, claiming that I could be a fake but my words were far from true love.

Pei Yanzhi asked why, and Lu Cheng told him that these problems are very simple, and some of them can be seen at a glance, such as whether he can't sleep well every night, whether he is depressed every day, and so on.

Many of Cheng Yao's answers are the same as those of most depressed patients. He even answered the question of 'is sexual ability normal' honestly, but there are only two.

·Would others be better off if I died?

He answered no.

· Do I feel hopeful about the future?

he filled in yes

Cheng Yao's two answers are very firm, which is the opposite of most people.

Pei Yanzhi asked him if this meant that Cheng Yao's situation was better than most people's.

Lu Cheng smiled and nodded, saying it was more than that.

Under the torment of physiological diseases, patients with depression will have extreme pessimism.It stands to reason that they will all deny their self-worth. Even if they do not have the urge to commit suicide, they will at least have some thoughts of 'it would be better to die'.

For the future, more or less should also feel slim.

But he didn't.

Even though he is controlled by the illness, he still loves you firmly, and wants to run to the future with you without hesitation, Pei Yanzhi.