you are my omega

After Xu Shi calmed down, Xu Shijiu bewilderedly realized that what he said was like a primary school student complaining, and he felt ashamed belatedly. Xu Shijiu couldn't calm down and eat together at the table Dinner, so Xu Shijiu's dinner was brought in by Lin Xinyi.

As soon as he entered, he saw a bulging quilt on the bed. Xu Shijiu curled himself up into a ball and covered himself in the quilt.

Lin Xinyi felt dumbfounded, but she couldn't say anything, put down the food, told her to get up and eat, and then left.

At this time, Xu Shijiu might feel even more embarrassed when she was here.

Coming out of Xu Shijiu's room, Lin Xinyi was caught off guard by Xu Manyue, who was leaning on the wall outside the door, squatting on the ground, curled up into a ball, and was greatly shocked.

Restraining the exclamation, first of all, he closed the door, clutched his thumping chest, looked at Xu Manyue in panic, and lowered his voice, "Sister, what are you doing here!?"

Obviously when she entered Xu Shijiu's room just now, she was still not there.

"..." Xu Manyue raised her head slightly, but did not speak.

"..." Lin Xinyi didn't know what to say. Looking at Xu Manyyue curled up into a ball, she thought of Xu Shijiu. If she lifted Xu Shijiu's quilt, she would definitely do the same thing as Xu Manyue.

It's just that one is sitting and the other is lying down.

As expected of sisters, this habit is the same.

"I, I want to talk to Xiaojiu." Xu Manyue was silent for a while before she said.

"So, sister, do you want to go in now?" Lin Xinyi keenly sensed that her sister's mood was a little off, and couldn't help but raise her heart.

"Let Xiao Jiu finish the meal first." Xu Manyue shook her head. If she went in at this time, Xiao Jiu would definitely not eat. After all, she really didn't do well recently.

There was another silence between the two.

"Xiao Yi, do you think I've neglected Xiao Jiu too much recently..." Xu Manyyue said suddenly, burying her head on her knees, even though Lin Xinyi squatted down, she couldn't see Xu Manyyue's expression.

I don't know if it's my own delusion or what, Lin Xinyi feels that Xu Manyue's whole person, whether it's aura or mood, has suddenly changed. She usually smiles brightly at home, is very gentle, and takes care of Xiao Jiushi Very careful, but careless when it comes to taking care of himself.

From time to time, she is a little careless, and from time to time her EQ will be very low. What makes Lin Xinyi even more puzzled is that... from time to time, she always feels that her sister's bright smile is a little weird, but she can't tell why it is so weird.

"..." Lin Xinyi hesitated. To be honest, she didn't know if she should tell the truth. After all, recently, it was true that her sister cared less about Xu Shijiu than before.

Seeing Lin Xinyi's silence, Xu Manyue didn't understand anything.

She closed her eyes dejectedly, covering up the darkness of her eyes, and her voice was full of remorse, "I'm sorry, I've been paying attention to my own affairs recently, thinking that with you here and with Xiaojiu, I don't have to worry too much. so……"

Halfway through the conversation, Xu Manyue couldn't continue.

She knew that these were all excuses.

All are excuses.

It doesn't matter if it's because he's busy with his own affairs, or because Lin Xinyi is with him, or because Xu Shijiu listens to Lin Xinyi's words more, or because he's careless...

all all...

It's all her excuses, it's all her self-hypnosis.

All all, all all.

"Sister...?" Lin Xinyi was shocked by the despair and pain emanating from Xu Manyue's body, but because she couldn't see Xu Manyue's expression clearly, Lin Xinyi wondered if her feelings were wrong.

"..." Xu Manyue shook her head, her voice was already hoarse, "I'm fine, you go back to your room, I'll wait here for a while and go in."

After being given such an obvious order to evict guests, even if Lin Xinyi wanted to stay, it was impossible for Lin Xinyi to stay. She turned around every step of the way, left here with full of worries, and returned to her room.

Lin Xinyi was very curious about what happened to the Xu family sisters and what happened.

Xu Shijiu didn't know, Lin Xinyi didn't know, everyone didn't know, when Xu Manyue saw Xu Shijiu's legs, when she saw Xu Shijiu sitting in a wheelchair, under her smiling face was a heart full of self-blame, guilt and pain .

Those emotions made her breathless, but she couldn't, she couldn't show her pain, she couldn't show her exhaustion, none of these were allowed.

It was she who killed her mother, and she caused Xiao Jiu to become like this. She was the main culprit, and she was the one who insisted on letting her mother come back to celebrate her birthday. But in the end...

In the end, it was the mother, Xu Shijiu, and another unknown victim who suffered all the consequences. Obviously, she should bear all the consequences.

It was her willfulness that caused everything.

Xu Shijiu didn't know, let alone be known by Xu Shijiu.

So she had to smile, brightly, gently, and carelessly. No matter what, she couldn't show her true self in front of Xu Shijiu.

The real me...is disgusting.

Obviously Xu Shijiu became what she is now because of her willfulness and ruined the bright future, but she showed some guilt and self-blame... Xiao Jiu would only comfort her, she knew Xiao Jiu didn't blame her, so... …

That's why Xu Manyue suffered even more.

She doesn't deserve to be comforted by Xiao Jiu, and she doesn't deserve to be treated so tenderly by Xiao Jiu, and she doesn't deserve to show her guilt and self-blame in front of Xiao Jiu.

Such remorse, such self-blame, is too cheap.

Can't get back Xiao Jiu's body, can't get back her mother, can't get back Xiao Jiu's great future...

Lin Xinyi approached Xu Shijiu step by step, and Xu Shijiu slowly accepted Lin Xinyi.

Xu Manyue specially let them be alone at the beginning, so that they can get to know each other, accept each other, and cultivate a good relationship.

But gradually...

Xu Manyue tasted the sweetness.

Immersed in work, in love, no matter what it is, as long as she is not at home, as long as she can temporarily forget Xu Shijiu, so that she has no time to think about Xu Shijiu...

Xu Manyue hoped that such time could be longer, and strived for such time to be longer.

because……

It hurts so much.

The boulder in my heart did not gradually become lighter with the passage of time, but became heavier and heavier...

She is so tired.

Wanting to raise a flawless smile in front of everyone, I used to be able to do it easily, but now...Xu Manyue finds that she can't do it easily.

She clearly knew how much Xu Shijiu relied on her and how much she cared about herself, but she didn't have any foreshadowing when she told Xu Shijiu about the baby, and even Lin Xinyi reminded her to stop what she did to Xu Shijiu too much action……

She is really, a very excessive person, an unqualified sister.

……

I don't know how long I sat there, until Xu Manyue felt that the past so long should be enough for Xu Shijiu to finish eating, so she stood up with the help of the wall.

He reached out to knock on Xu Shijiu's door, but suddenly stopped in mid-air.

Xu Manyue took a deep breath, calmed down her mood, restrained her emotions that shouldn't appear, raised her hand, and touched the corner of her mouth.

Well, it's curved.

She is smiling now.

'Knock knock——'

After making sure that she had a smile on her face, Xu Manyue knocked on the door, and it didn't take long before she heard Xiao Jiu say 'Enter'.

Xu Shijiu was not surprised that it was Xu Manyue who came.

"Xiao Jiu, my sister is here to apologize to you." Xu Manyue smiled flatteringly, her eyes were full of seriousness, and she bowed a standard ninety-degree bow to Xu Shijiu, "My sister is wrong."

Xu Manyue's serious apology frightened Xu Shijiu, she quickly steered the wheelchair forward, held her sister's hands, and said anxiously, "Sister, what are you doing? Don't do this."

Xu Manyue's eyes flickered for a moment, and then she closed her eyes tightly to completely erase the wrong emotions. Then she straightened up, smiled, and held Xiao Jiu's hand instead, and said in a gentle voice, "Xiao Jiu will always be my sister's best, best Important relatives, Xiao Jiu is not allowed to think wildly."

"Sister..." Xu Shijiu's heart warmed up, and then he felt uneasy, and grabbed Xu Manyue's hand uneasily, "Sister won't want Xiaojiu, right?"

"Of course, how could my sister not want Xiaojiu." Xu Manyue hugged the frightened Xiaojiu in front of her with distress, "I'm sorry Xiaojiu, my sister has neglected Xiaojiu recently, which made Xiaojiu feel uncomfortable. My sister didn't think of Xiao Jiu's feelings, I'm sorry..."

"Xiao Jiu, has my sister become particularly bad recently? She always only cared about herself, and didn't think of Xiao Jiu. I'm sorry, I'm really sorry."

Sorry for the most pale words.

But besides being sorry, Xu Manyue didn't know what else to say.

I don't even know how many times she has said sorry in her heart since the accident.

Xu Manyue thinks that she is too selfish. Recently, she always only thinks about herself, and only wants to use overtime and Liu Lingyan to fill most of her time, and use this method to temporarily forget the boulder that cannot be shaken off her heart.

So selfish, he didn't think about Xiao Jiu's feelings, and deliberately didn't let himself think about Xiao Jiu's feelings.

Clearly, clearly knew that the child would be hurt.

But it's just... Hypnotizing myself, making myself forget this.

"Sister, I'm really fine..." Xu Shijiu raised his head, looked at his sister and said, noticing that the corners of her mouth didn't lift up, she breathed a sigh of relief.

My sister will always force herself to smile.

She used to be able to tell when her sister was smiling and when she was really happy, but...

As she got older and bigger, Xu Shijiu found that she couldn't see her sister clearly.

I don't understand whether my sister's smile is a forced smile or really happy, although my sister always smiles; I don't understand the meaning of my sister's smile; I don't understand my sister's eyes...

Sometimes I think my sister is easy to understand, like the hidden keys can be easily found by her; My sister always thinks very carefully about taking care of herself...

Xu Shijiu knew that her sister had been blaming herself for the accident.

At the very beginning, my sister was full of self-blame and guilt all the time, but it wasn't until she enlightened me that my sister didn't show that expression again.

Xu Shijiu thought that as long as he avoided this topic on weekdays and didn't mention it, it would be fine. Unfortunately, Xu Shijiu didn't know that Xu Manyue wore a mask in front of her all the time.

Smile mask.