flashy

?My love is dark after all, like a dead mouse rotting in a stinking ditch, dirty and disgusting.

He appeared in my mind all the time to torment me, lingering, especially when I dreamed of that naked body in the middle of the night, and that face that was too clear, I thought it was blasphemy.

will god forgive meWill Buddha forgive me again?I don't even know, thankfully I'm not religious, so their forgiveness doesn't really matter to me.

And the one who directly begged for forgiveness should be the mother who was desperately wiping tears at the moment. She was really old, with gray hair at the temples and deep wrinkles on her face. In fact, she was not very old and she was tired.

It is not an easy job for a woman who lost her husband to raise her six-year-old child to be independent at the age of 20, not to mention that the family is poor.

The death of my father brought a heavy blow to our family. My mother used to be the eldest daughter of a wealthy family. She was able to marry my father only after breaking away from the family relationship. Therefore, the eldest daughter can’t do work. Once she does farm work, she will be sick the next day. , my father was reluctant.

Therefore, the mother can only work as a female worker to supplement the family, not much, but enough for the family expenses.

That was when my father was still alive, life was hard but

Very warm, after the father died, the mother had to pick up the hoe and go to the field, otherwise she would starve to death.

In my impression, after my father died, my mother was always sick in the month before going to the field, and she would lie down every day. I was really afraid that one day she would lie down like my father.

Fortunately, she is still sitting in front of me perfectly, but she has been crying, a woman really has a lot of tears, but she can't be blamed for it, what mother heard that her son likes men, her son is a pervert , will cry, and will beat people.

I touched half of my face, and it felt a lot swollen. My mother slapped me three times, and then she cried.

"Mom, I don't want to lie to you, you are the person I love the most." I am best at breaking Comrade Lin Caifeng's heart with gentle attacks.

My mother stopped crying suddenly, and looked at me with a determined face. That kind of gaze made me shudder, and I felt that she was going to put all her eggs in one basket.

Sure enough, she said, "Let's go to the doctor, and we'll be fine."

My head was about to explode, and I really thought I was sick, but it was clearly not a disease. I checked many books, and there was no such thing as homosexuality, but people now think that homosexuality is a mental illness, so I need to see a doctor.

"Mom, it's not a disease. I just like men. It's not a disease."

Just finished speaking, as if she touched the mechanism of my mother's body, she trembled suddenly, and then her mouth, which had always only spoken softly, sharpened instantly, "This is not a disease! Which normal person would like men, You are a man! This is a pervert! Such a person will be stabbed in the back!"

"Mom! Do you even say that about me? I'm your son!" My heart twitched violently. I was really self-righteous, thinking that my mother would forgive me because of her love for me, but I was really wrong .

My mother used my love for her to force me into a psychiatric hospital. She threatened me with suicide, and it took her only one day to sink me into the abyss.

And I was sent to the mental hospital in the provincial capital by my mother on the second day. My mother carried a bamboo basket in her hand and a stack of banknotes wrapped in red cloth in her pocket, which was used to treat my illness.

Along the way, I was still trying to persuade my mother not to go to the hospital, but once she made up her mind, my mother was very stubborn, and kept a straight face and didn't speak along the way.

When I arrived at the hospital, my mother accompanied me to the doctor.

"My son is out of his mind. He said he likes men." The mother's expression can be described as heartbroken.

My eyes were red with sadness, and I hesitated to look at the doctor who decided the future, but I was very disappointed. I met a quack doctor, who said it was a disease, and it could be cured in the hospital.

Then my mother smiled happily, held the doctor's hand excitedly, and talked to him a lot.

During this process, I was emptying out, and suddenly I had a thought, maybe the hospital can really cure my liking for men and his disease.

In the end, I also gave up on myself, obeyed the arrangement of my mother and the doctor, and was admitted to the inpatient department.

Before my mother left, she gave the doctor a bamboo basket that had been waiting by my feet. There were thirty eggs in it. The doctor happily accepted it and promised to take good care of me.

My mother touched my face with tears in her eyes, and said she would come to see me for a week. I nodded dumbly, thinking that maybe I could really be relieved, and I was still a little happy in my heart.

It wasn't until I was admitted to a mental hospital that I was really afraid. The people here are very scary. They will beat you for no reason, and they will also giggle at you for no reason.

After staying for one night, I was scared to death. Early the next morning, I went to the doctor who diagnosed me and told me that I would be discharged from the hospital. He smiled meaningfully and said that my illness was not cured, no. They allowed me to be discharged from the hospital and said they would give me a physical examination.

He asked me to stand naked in front of him, I hesitated for a few seconds, and finally listened to him and stripped myself, because I think they are all men and there is nothing to be ashamed of.

But what was awkward was that the doctor's hand touched my body. He didn't wear medical gloves, but touched my back directly. At first, he just lingered on my back and arms.

But I still find it strange why homosexuals have to take off their clothes for inspection and be touched. He stood behind me and couldn't see his expression at all. It wasn't until his hand slowly slipped onto my cock that I suddenly realized the other The weirdness.

Even the second hand touched my cock, I finally couldn't bear it anymore, I pushed him away suddenly, then picked up the clothes, and put them on silently.

The doctor's beating voice came, "Don't you like men? Don't you feel good about being touched?"

I still didn't speak, and continued to put on my clothes. Who would have thought that the doctor would come forward to take off my clothes, with a hideous face.

I tugged at him a few times, and seeing that he still didn't let go, I shouted, "What are you doing!?"

Then, I saw the doctor smile sullenly, "You haven't done it, have you? Do you want to try it with me? You look so good-looking!"

I was completely stunned, watching in disbelief that this doctor who promised my mother would definitely cure me turned out to be a so-called homosexual patient himself.

Seeing that I was not moving, he touched my body with both hands unscrupulously. When I came back to my senses, I punched him and knocked him to the ground.

He wiped the corner of his mouth and stared at me fiercely, as if he wanted to see me through.

I was scared from the bottom of my heart, and rushed out the door without thinking. My memory is very good, and I found the gate of the hospital in no time. There were several people chasing me behind, but I don’t know who yelled, and those people stopped chasing immediately. up.

I escaped from the hospital smoothly, and looked back panting, still in shock. ?