contradiction

?02-celebration [celebration]

Allen watched the fireworks explode in front of his eyes and shattered into pieces in an instant. He squinted his eyes, always feeling a sense of fear that sparks would splash into his eyes.He threw himself on the grass, and the moist moisture from the military uniform seeped into his skin, even bringing a feeling even worse than ice cold.

Allen turned over pretending he didn't feel anything, letting some blue grass rub against the tip of his nose.

He wrinkled his nose.

The moonlight hit his face, throwing a thick shadow.

He didn't dare to close his eyes. Once he fell into darkness, the voices would have a chance to take advantage of the loopholes. They were like parasites stalking Allen endlessly.Yeah, how can people be so happy about this?

--wrong

Allen put his arm on his forehead and refuted himself with all his strength.

That's right.Captain Levi is a hero, and it is only natural that he be admired.It's just a celebration banquet, it's just a past lover who is surrounded by admirers and isolated far away from him.He has no right to interfere, and he knows why.

"I'm someone else." He raised his hand, watching the cold moonlight emerge from his fingers, and couldn't wait to hit him on the face, Alan repeated again to convince himself, "I'm someone else. "

In fact, he didn't have any chance to struggle. Allen knew better than anyone that this relationship that only two people knew had been cut off unilaterally, silently and bewilderingly the moment the captain forgot about him. He didn't even give the boy any time to prepare, didn't think, didn't make a decision, but let him obey the cowardice in his heart that might have been suppressed and made a choice that was only once and could not be regretted.

This is so unfair.

"Yo hoo!!" The sudden voice made Allen quickly get up from the grass and face the place where the sound came from, but what he saw in his eyes only made him take off his guard and mutter helplessly, "Han Jisang, don't be scary."

"Hey..." But the scary criminal continued to smile and pushed Alan back to the ground to sit down, shaking a wine bottle in his hand, and the brownish-yellow liquid in it swayed with her movements, mixing with moonlight. A strange color.She sat down beside Allen, her voice was a little unsteady because of the slight drunkenness.

"That guy Levi, it's really annoying to be so popular, but I'll tell you in secret, little Ellen", she happily spread the gossip about his chief to her colleagues and subordinates, while stopping drinking, she lowered her head in the Allen said secretly in his ear: "He actually has someone he likes." She raised her head and squinted her eyes, continuing with a very proud look, "He has a very important coin, the only one he had when he came out of the underground street. I brought it out, but I never saw it again just a year ago." She chuckled twice, "It must be given to someone you like, after all, it is such an important thing, I will go to it later Make fun of him."

Why?Allen felt that his heart was grasped instantly, and fear and joy surged up like crazy at the same time, regardless of whether he could accept it or not.He told himself countless times that this is the right way, the captain will be admired by everyone, he will have a beautiful wife, he will have a child who combines the strengths of the two of them, and he will have an extremely happy future.

No one knows the relationship between the two of them anymore. As long as he can keep his mouth shut, everything he imagined will come true. This perfect future belongs to his lover.

Allen subconsciously grabbed the dry withered grass with his hands, his joints turned white. He pretended to be surprised and stiffened, but Han Ji, who was slightly drunk, didn't notice.

"Really?" He squeezed his throat with his hands, as if if he didn't do this, he would never be able to make a sound again. "So... who is it?"

Han Ji stopped drinking suddenly, which seemed to stop Alan's heartbeat at once. He held his breath, like a sinner waiting for judgment, but the former just smiled at him with a little embarrassment, "I won't do that." Got it, Levi is too good at hiding."

Allen suddenly felt relieved, but he didn't feel relaxed at all.The heaviness that had been pressing on his heart from just now became more obvious, almost suffocating him.He laughed along with Han Ji, but the laughter was so hard that he was startled, but she still didn't notice it.

There was a silence around, leaving only the sound of Han Ji drinking, and maybe some unknown bugs, dying before the coming winter.

"But, Alan." Her voice suddenly became serious, resounding in the silence, with a terrifying aura, she stared at Alan, "You have to be careful."

The latter just lowered his eyes.

"Well, Han Jisang." He added, "Thank you."

Allen looked at the back of her bouncing away, and didn't dare to think about where she was going and what she was going to do. The little luck in his heart stopped him, and he found that he still had sinful expectations. Maybe the chief will think of him because of this, and it's not his fault, he didn't go up to remind him, it's not——

what.

All this was only interrupted by his self-mockery.

Even the doctor said no, let alone just a small joke in this drunken banquet?Allen felt ridiculous at his own idea, and...

He hadn't had time to think about these things for a long time. When the war was over, everyone would no longer be able to accommodate the aliens.He himself knows that his time has long been considered a luxury even in seconds.But he couldn't even escape from here, he couldn't leave this place, he couldn't leave this person.

He lay down again, still in the same position, not bad at all.

——Even if these memories have begun to be unstable, even if sometimes he can't help but wonder, could this be just a daydream of his own?Could it be just a non-existent longing derived from his tormented by fear and pressure.

He bent his mouth again.

With his right hand, he took out a round metal product from his breast pocket, and he flicked it upwards, making a crisp sound, and then flashed into Alan's eyes under the moonlight, and he reached out to catch it, unfolding The palm of his hand looked at this thing lying quietly in his palm.Just above the beating of blood vessels, just so quietly hidden in a place that the world can't see.

It's a secret.It was Alan who desperately hid it, and it was only his own secret.

[In October 852, after the last war, the capital held a three-day celebration. After the reception on the last day, Alan Yeager was arrested for assassinating the royal family, but he did not spit out his accomplices after being tortured. or purpose, the gendarmerie decided to put him to death in early 10. 】