contradiction

?06-letter[letter]

Dear Levi:

I'm finally giving up.

I still haven't been able to save this innocent child from that ridiculous accusation, which is probably the most sorry thing I've ever done to you in my life.This is my cowardly apology from a loser. I hope you can forgive me, a powerless insider, after everything returns to normal.

I heard from Erwin that you have already left this place, so when this letter reappears, it will probably be the time for Alan to leave us forever. I am sorry, but I know it is too late, late Even though I tried my best, I couldn't bring the derailed fate of the two of you back to the right path.But maybe this is what Allen wants?I don't know, I don't dare to speculate anymore, I don't dare to imagine how much I hurt Alan because of my ignorance.

Maybe it seems to you that these are just some clueless and absurd remarks.After all, the chances of you recovering your memory are very slim, but I really can't help writing this letter, because I can't help thinking that Alan is suffering endless pain in the dark dungeon, breathing the clammy air , endured merciless reprimand and whipping.Will he blame me?We abandoned him so mercilessly.

The sudden end of years of despair made us lose the strength to fight, we were captured by ease, we decided to surrender, we hypnotized ourselves day by day to forget, forgetting that under the dark side of history there is still a companion who once struggled together, in As we walked towards happiness and future step by step, he was just abandoned by us, right there, in that lightless dungeon, waiting for death day by day.

I did the same, giving up the fight.But one day, I found that the ominous premonition I had had since that day had come true. It was that night when I went to joke with you half drunk but was answered with doubts. At that time, the fleeting premonition suddenly Yes, without warning, it became the truth.

I really can't keep silent, I can't imagine what kind of despair Alan is going through.

But I still failed, Levi, sorry.As a close friend, I couldn't hand over this last chance to you, I'm sorry.

Sorry, my mind is in a mess right now, I just came back from the basement, I met Mikasa there, we chatted for a long time, I found out that she also guessed, this girl who put Alan on top of her heart guessed his secret, but she It's late too, which is a pity.

Maybe one day in the future, this girl will lose control. I hope you can let her go and don't hurt her by that time, because maybe one day, when I can't bear this guilt and finally decide to forget everything, But she will always remember the child we threw into the shadow of the old age, the soul who died in despair.Even if there is only a little bit, I hope she can help you share it.When all the memories are restored, I hope she can help you share.

I am in conflict, praying for your happiness, and accusing fate of unfairness to Allen.But I can't do nothing.

I cannot be silent.

Sorry, Levi.

I am sorry.

Hanjizoye, in 854

Levi looked out the window, the water in the teacup was still steaming, as if in such hot weather, it was in pain that could not be drained.He put the letter on the table and let the sunlight through the glass cast a shadow on the paper.

He found that his hands were still trembling, and this illusion that he thought he had intensified as he read the letter, until now he finally had to admit it.

But he couldn't figure it out at all.He didn't understand the letter from the beginning to the end, so he almost thought that Han Ji was crazy. Was it addressed to him?But why, why did you report the failure to him, why did you ask for his forgiveness.

sorry?

Why isn't that the one she's sorry for? She's talking about, no, Ellen Yeager, who has ended the pain.

Levi put his eyes on the letter paper again, but couldn't read the words at all. He felt that the frequency of his heart beating was increasing, and it became more and more fierce, as if it would break through the skin and jump to his eyes in the next second.He found that his breathing was getting heavier, his breath was so cloudy that his vision was a little blurred, and his temples seemed to be throbbing.

He pulled the front of the shirt tightly with his hands, and his nails almost penetrated the fabric and scraped onto the skin.

But this didn't help, but made the beating of the heart more obvious.

Once, twice.

bah—

bah—

bah—

bah—

—almost touching his ribs and about to shatter it in the next second.

Levi uncontrollably starts flashing back, forcing himself to think, memories of times when just getting in touch with them would give him a headache, what he forgot, who he left behind, what exactly did he do What, who is he sorry for.

The fragments just pierced his nerves like glass, scratching bloodstains that would never heal for a lifetime, and passed through his brain like a revolving lantern but could not be spliced, leaving behind uncontrollable pain.He pressed his hands tightly on his head, his nails turned blue and white when he used too much force, but he couldn't feel the strength, and he couldn't steal back the memories that belonged to him at this last moment.

The second before the consciousness was stripped from him, the only thing he could think of was the boy's bright and painful smile under the sun. The soft light cast a layer of dizziness on his young but flexible body, and the boy moved his lips towards him. Saying something, as if saying goodbye at the last moment of my life, so helpless, so desperate.