contradiction

?07-question[question]

The weather is as hot and dry as ever, and all Levi can see is the almost floating scenery displayed under the scorching light and shadow.This is so unreal, as if living in an illusion for so many years without knowing it, stupid and ridiculous.He asked himself why he would allow himself this.

The doctor told him very seriously that it was best not to try to recall the lost memory, which put a huge burden on his brain, would cause the inevitable sequelae, and bring him more pain.But the unusual feeling in my body that day was lingering, and it would revive if I didn't pay attention.

The cicadas around were too loud, and Levi felt that he couldn't calm down no matter what.He put the letter away and put it in a very secret place, almost no one could find it except him. He didn't know the meaning of his behavior, but it had to be like this, otherwise everything would not be quiet, It was as if boiled water overflowed from a pot and flowed over the flames, only to be forced to turn into steam.

From Levi's point of view, he is like this, full of water is added, and only half of it is left after opening it.What about the remaining half?He laughed at himself mockingly, maybe someone had already taken him away, and when he wasn't paying attention, he was like a very distressed thief.

Golden, golden eyes.

Something flashed across Levi's mind, lightning fast but leaving only a piece of scorched earth, which made his newly recovered head start to ache again.Suddenly there was an impulse in my heart, I wanted to just keep suffering like this, just be haunted by the damn sequelae, just keep suffering, tormenting, and despairing like this day and night, otherwise this restlessness would never stop, and he would never stop. Cannot be redeemed.

——Because the answer is hidden in his lost memory.

From the impetuous desire to lose memory for the first time since I saw Alan Yeager for the last time, and the terrible premonition that came like the plague in Hanji's endless letter, black mist is like a black mist. His heart spread and gnawed, leaving only barren land wherever he went.The pair of hands that strangled his throat at some point did not let go until now, they were resting on his neck, waiting for an opportunity to take his breath away after he lost vigilance.

Levi remembered when he saw the child for the first time, the warm body rushed towards him, his arms hugged him tightly, the contact part seemed to be on fire, which made him feel a burst of pain for no reason. fear.When he saluted him, he only wore an expression that was about to cry, complaining, dodging, with a trace of apology.

apology.

He felt that this apology made him extremely scared, like the feeling he occasionally felt when he was in the underground street. There was darkness in front of him, there were traps everywhere, and the sun was so far away that he couldn't reach it in his whole life.

It's the same now, even if he is sweating in the sun, fainting and dying, it is impossible to touch, those light and heat will never belong to him, he is still like a mouse, shuttling in the shadows and dirty darkness, living in no fixed place , no lover and friend, no emotions, no happiness, no future, everything he has now is false, he is just living in a lie made up by man.

Be deceived, be concealed, be rejected.

He was easily deceived, and foolishly threw away the light and heat that he should have. Those things were once within his reach, clean and warm, emitting a soft and moving light.

Yes, he can be sure now.

During the time when he was lost, who took away what he had longed for for several years and finally got it, left countless clues like a robber, and laughed at him all the time during his escape, because he Couldn't catch up because he threw everything out of his head.

These people are so unscrupulous, just because he lost his memory and lost all possibility of recovery, so pitiful and pathetic that it makes people laugh.

Levi.

How could you allow this, he asked himself.

How can you allow others to take away your things, those things were born for you, lived and died for you, even if you lose them unilaterally, they are still yours.This moment is so sure, even though you are ruthlessly abandoned, the light and heat will not leave you, it will stay in the time left by you, watching you move forward, getting farther and farther away from it, and then He is alone, among the endless years, waiting for you to turn back. ?