Bear Love◇Paradise Station◇

Chapter 6 My First Time

"Life is made up of infinite coincidences, do you believe it?" Zhao Xiaoyu took a deep breath and said, "After arriving in the United States, I met him, Marc, a Chinese-American, is the one you saw that day."

I found that he was paying attention to my expression at this time, this guy is really scheming! I knew his intentions, so I deliberately left the expression empty, "Oh, your luck is so constant, haha!"

"Marc is the eldest son of my father's partner. It should be said that my father's business was developed by his father." I knew I couldn’t offend him, so I lived with him right after I went to the United States, on QQ? That’s a dream! Why don’t I miss you, Ye Zhen!” He took another deep breath of the cigarette, and then choked it out!

"Oh, then I wish you happiness. This is very good. He is in the right family. It is not something that poor people like me can imagine and compare. He is also very good-looking, much better than me." I took a sip of wine and said.

Zhao Xiaoyu didn't say anything anymore, I could see the helplessness in his eyes, "Come on, drink, let's get drunk now!" I raised my glass, but unexpectedly he burst into tears, "Ye Zhen, I'm sorry You, I was wrong at the beginning, I really wanted to be with you! Who would have thought that I would meet Marc! Can you know my suffering?" After that, he swallowed the whole glass of wine.

I don't know what to say, just say drink, don't say anything.Because of what happened to Zhao Yun before, my drinking capacity is not what it used to be. I drank cups with him until after 12 o'clock in the middle of the night. He took a taxi back to his residence.

My head was also very dizzy, but I knew I had to make sure that he was fine. He vomited as soon as he entered the room, which made me very distressed. It turned out that I still deeply love this man in front of me, he should know, right?

I wiped it clean for him, and was about to get up and go home, but he grabbed me, "I, I'm not drunk, I want, you stay with me..." He opened his eyes and said with effort. "Okay, you go to bed first, I'll be next to you." The natural maternal gene is at work, and I hate this gene!

I just looked at this man quietly, with a round face, flushed, his eyebrows are beautiful, black and long, and a small red mouth, but unfortunately that no longer belongs to me, his breathing is very heavy, it seems Really drank too much.About an hour later, he suddenly pulled me into his arms. He was very strong. Although I was fat, I didn't have much strength. I tried hard to break free from him, but to no avail.I thought he just wanted to hug me, so let him hug me. After a while, he held me down, and I said what are you doing?Without saying a word, he directly blocked my mouth with his mouth, he sucked my tongue greedily, I know I can't do this, what am I doing like this?Is it a third party?Or a mistress?I pushed him hard, but he couldn't move, he was much fatter than me!

He pressed my right hand with his left hand, rode on my thigh, and his right hand began to walk on my body, "It's over, something is wrong, what should I do!" This sentence was repeated in my heart over and over again , I don't know what to do, I just keep pushing him, I can't push him! He continued to kiss my lips, and his right hand started to touch my lower body, "It's over, this time it's really over!"

After struggling for a long time, I thought of a sentence - life is like a rape, since you can't refuse, just enjoy it.What's more, the other party is this man, this man who I have been thinking about for a long time! I closed my eyes and stopped resisting.He was like a wild beast, rudely stripped my clothes, kneaded my big belly hard, sucking my upper body hurts, but I didn't respond, let him go! After a few minutes, he lifted me up I didn't think of the next step. He touched my backyard with some saliva and stabbed it in. "Ah!" Another first time from me!

He didn't seem to hear my pain and moaned, he grabbed my tits and kept plugging and plugging, maybe his speed was too fast, I was already numb, anyway, it was like this, what else could I do!?After maintaining this position for about 10 minutes, he turned me over and stabbed me in from behind again! I was really raped! This position is only for rape in my opinion, so I cried even harder , "Why did you do this to me! You don't want me, but you have my innocence!" I cried and said, he didn't respond, and continued to exercise on me.

After a long time, he twitched a few times, and I knew he was out, he was lying on my back panting heavily, and my tears never stopped.I buried my head in the quilt and cried, I was so wronged, really wronged! I was played by him like this, and now his kinky stick is still in my ass! I am so dirty, I am What! He just lay on my back, stroking my skin, "I'm sorry, I was too impulsive, Ye Zhen, I will compensate you." After that, he got up and went to the bathroom. the sound of running water.I lay motionless on my stomach, tears, shed dry.

After a while, he came out of the shower and sat next to me naked. He wanted to hug me, "Go away! Don't touch me!" I yelled!

He froze for a moment, maybe he didn't expect me to say that, he got up and sat on the bedside to light a cigarette, "I know what I did wrong, I really like you, Ye Zhen, you stay with me , I'll take care of it with Marc."

What?You insult my personality so much and still want to be with me again? "I'm sorry, I've done my best to you. You've got what you deserve. Our relationship is over. Please respect my decision!" I said coldly.

He sighed, took out a stack of paper from the drawer, wrote a few strokes and handed it to me, "This is a check for 100 million, and I will pay you as compensation. I don't think you can talk too much."

So there was the plot in the movie, I sneered a few times, and took it over, "Zhao Xiaoyu, I never thought that the man I've been thinking about would treat me as a plaything bought with money! I really have you! I don't want your money , please don’t look for me again, just leave it like this.” I tore up the check that no one would resist.

I struggled to put on the rotting clothes that were torn by him, and when I got up to put on my underwear, I found that the sheet was red. There was no doubt that it was my blood, and I cursed him again in my heart! Enduring the pain, I Put on the pants, "Thank you for the love you gave me, you are my first love, let me never forget it! One more thing you need to know, I have been guarding you for you until now, you are doing very well, I will not Think about it again!" I left his house as fast as I could, and I only saw that when I left, his eyes were self-blaming, but I wouldn't say anything more to him.

I have never done it before, I really can't stand the pain, I staggered and walked home, my mother asked me what was wrong, I said I twisted my foot, it's okay.I went to the bathroom to wash for a long time, Zhao Xiaoyu, thank you, you let me know how stupid I am!

Later, he called my home a few more times. I asked my mother to say that I was not at home and had returned to school. I didn't tell him my mobile phone number, and everything was over.

Finally I was liberated, do you know how it feels to be liberated, just like Zhang Huimei's "Liberation", I listened to this song over and over again:

Love is the city that never sleeps, memories are like stars,

The hotter the tears, the colder I feel

A person who has changed his mind, the more he thinks about it, the more he hurts.

Sitting until morning, the sun turned on the light for the room

Like the bitter ending, why bother to think again

If I want to make people grow, why am I afraid of breaking up?

The relief is to admit that it was a mistake,

I shouldn't let go

You are free to go and I am free to live,

Liberation is to know how to wipe away tears after watching,

找 个 新 往前 走

这 世界 辽阔

我 总 会 实现 个 梦

心里 有 一 种 渴望 的 念头

People who love me don't worry about me anymore!

☆, 7

Before the fifteenth day of the first lunar month, I returned to Beijing. I wanted to leave home. Staying in that city for a second would make me fall into the haze of Zhao Xiaoyu and couldn't extricate myself. When I arrived in Beijing, I felt much better.In previous years, students would return to school one after another at the end of February. I arrived half a month early, and the school was empty. Occasionally, there were a few classmates. "Are you all enjoying family happiness at home? How happy."

Walking on campus, the howling cold wind keeps me awake. I like the feeling of cold, at least it doesn't make people upset like summer. "Xiaozhen." Someone called me from behind me.I turned around, and it turned out to be Zhao Yun!The feeling at the moment is very complicated!I've just been raped by a man with the same face, but let me see this face again!No, wait, he's Zhao Yun, not Zhao Xiaoyu, why is his surname Zhao fucking!

"Ah, it's Brother Zhao. Long time no see. Happy Chinese New Year!" I said with a smile.

"Happy Chinese New Year! How are you doing recently?" He trotted over.I noticed that he had lost a lot of weight.

"Very good, very happy at home, hehe, how about you?" I pretended to be happy and said.

"I'm pretty average, go sit in my dormitory, I'm the only one in the dormitory, I didn't go home, this Spring Festival." He smiled a little.

What?Another one who pulled me into the room?I was scared, the pain in my butt has not gone away, but it is more of a psychological resistance, "Uh, I just came back, let's go tomorrow, okay, I want to clean up the room, it's too messy." I declined.

He said with some disappointment, "Okay, I am very lonely, let's talk, then tomorrow will be fine, and I will go back first, see you!" After finishing speaking, he left.

I stopped in the cold wind, not knowing where to go.Why did Zhao Yun talk to me again?Isn't he afraid that others will say he is gay?This is too strange.All I know is that I just got hurt the worst and I don't want to be tricked again!

I tossed and turned through the night, I hated myself for being so worthless, I was played by a man just now and haven't learned a lesson yet, why am I nervous about another man!Early the next morning, I received a text message from Zhao Yun: Are you awake, I will wait for you in the dormitory, as soon as possible!

I change into new clothes after washing, and my principle is to always go out with the most tidy appearance, and that kind of degenerate beard will never happen to me!Arriving at his dormitory soon, he looked like he had just woken up, but he was wearing an ill-fitting autumn jacket that couldn't even cover his stomach, and his lower body was only flat underwear.I hurriedly looked aside, "You, you just woke up, I saw you texting, I thought you woke up early..." I was a little nervous.

"Actually, I didn't sleep all night," he said, wrapping himself in a quilt. "I'm so sorry, Zhen."

I have the /fd expression again, huh~?He said he was sorry for me, could it be that his conscience found out? "Where are you talking, Brother Zhao, I was wrong. My behavior misunderstood you. They are talking nonsense. Don't forget to take it to heart." I dare not look into his eyes.

He lit a cigarette, "Let's just say it straight, even if you don't talk to me anymore, I still have to say it, I feel uncomfortable." He took a deep breath and continued, "I may be gay, I watched it a while ago A lot of things about this, I, I even had a relationship with a fat man, alas! It should be said that I am gay!" He pinched off the cigarette butt.

Are you elated, or helpless?I really don't know how to describe my mood at the moment. Once upon a time, I dreamed that Zhao Yun would be gay and could replace Zhao Xiaoyu, but when my wish was fulfilled, I couldn't be happy. "I killed you, Brother Zhao, I'm a sinner..." I lowered my head and muttered to myself.

Zhao Yun held up my double chin with his right hand, "Xiaozhen, it's not your fault, it should be that I wake up to sex relatively late, I have never thought about the relationship between men and women, and I have never thought about the love between men and men. They say we are gay, I avoided you, I just noticed the thing about sexual orientation, I read a lot of materials, I am sure I am destined to be gay, this is not your responsibility! Don't blame yourself!"

"And, I know you like me, right, Xiaozhen." He touched my round face.

I really don't know what to do, do I need to tell him that I just got emotionally raped by another guy? But when you don't know what to say, it's best to tell the truth: "Yeah, Brother Zhao, I like you, but I have to tell you the reason." So I told him about my past and the Spring Festival, and now I am transparent in front of Zhao Yun, the kind of naked!It feels good to say it.

"Oh, hehe, so I'm very pitiful, I'm someone else's substitute." He laughed.

"I'm sorry Brother Zhao, but this is my experience. I have severed ties with him now, and I won't have any relationship with him in the future. From now on, to me, you are you, Brother Zhao, not anyone's substitute!" I swear by it.

"Then, can I hug you? I haven't touched you once after we've known each other for so long, right? You won't mind me just because you know I'm gay?" Zhao Yun's eyes were sincere.

"Of course I don't mind, I'm just a fat man who has been played with, ha ha" I smiled wryly and leaned into Zhao Yun's arms.

"Don't say that, Zhao Xiaoyu is too much, forget about him, you will be happy, you are so good-looking, haha!" After saying that, he pinched my fat waist.

I blushed a bit, it was the first time I was praised by Zhao Yun for looking good, I forced a smile to him. "Look~ Your big eyes are watery, so beautiful, I have nothing to say, that...can I kiss you?" Zhao Yun said a little shyly.

kiss Me?Did I hear you right?I admit that I have always liked Zhao Yun, but I have just been played by Zhao Xiaoyu and asked Zhao Yun to kiss me. According to my current psychological endurance, I still can't do it, then I really did, but I can't be like this Zhao Yun said. "Ah, dear? Brother Zhao, stop teasing me. You know what happened to me just now. I haven't adjusted yet. Give me some time, please?"

"Well, okay, I'm sorry, don't mind." After that, he kissed my forehead, and I felt a little sweet in my heart. Could this be my love?This love came so suddenly that I was caught off guard.

In this way, he hugged me and told a lot of his past stories, which he had never told me before, which made me feel that my relationship with him was one step closer, but I was not yet mentally prepared to be with him. Lover relationship, I am just a 20-year-old student, a child who is not familiar with the world, and because of this, I suffer again and again, maybe people always grow up in failure.

In the days before school started, I simply lived in his dormitory. Zhao Yun begged to sleep with me again and again, but I refused directly. I knew what he would do when we slept together, so I always said that I Really not ready yet.He also has a gentleman's demeanor, he doesn't play petty temper with me, and keeps telling me this and that. Only then did I realize that Zhao Yun is quite talkative, maybe he really likes me?

One week before the start of school, I promised to sleep with him, but I asked him to promise not to touch the place he shouldn't. He was very excited. When I hugged me, I could feel his breathing was very short, because we both He sleeps with only his underwear on, and I understand his nervousness.As for me, I was also nervous, but I warned myself not to give myself to Zhao Yun easily, then I would be really a bitch!It is very comfortable to rest on his arm, and his voice is thicker and more vicissitudes than Zhao Xiaoyu's. Leaning in his arms, you can hear his rapid heartbeat. In order to relieve this tension, I say Brother Zhao, please talk He told a few stories about your childhood, um, it’s much better, he’s not so nervous anymore.After a long time, I was sleepy, I said go to sleep, he said can I sleep with you in my arms, I said ok, but you must follow the rules, or I will change the bed.He's fairly well-behaved, just stroking my back, wanting to reach down and touch my back, I know, giggling in my heart, I'm asleep, it doesn't matter if he touches me in his dream or not.

I woke up a few times at night, and every time I found that his body was straight. I wondered if he was asleep. I always suspected that I was awakened by his touch.The next day I asked him, "Brother Zhao, didn't you have any salty pork knuckles last night?" "Of course not, um..." He curled his lips and said. "Well, it's hard for you, hey, give me some time, long live to understand!" I gave him a small hug.

Later I found out that Zhao Yun usually earns quite a lot as a tutor!The standard of 50 per hour, my God, really is a high-achieving student, I dare not ask for such a price.Because his income is not bad, we will go out every day before school starts. I like to go to Beihai Park. At that time, a student ticket was 2 yuan. There are many scenic spots in it.Oh, by the way, I took a lot of photos with him at that time, and I smiled so brightly in the photos, maybe I will get over the hurt.