father - home

"You asked Joseph what the 'Fu Yi' in your name means?"

"Yes."

"He didn't tell you?" The tone of the father's question was more affirmative.

"Yes."

"Then why don't you ask me?"

"Will you tell me if I ask you?" I wanted to be humorous, but my father was already deep in his own thoughts.

"I don't know. No one wants to recall those days. Everyone kept silent. It was the darkest, cruelest, and dirtiest page in the history of the Third Reich."

My heart suddenly tightened.In order to be able to understand some fathers, I have read a lot of books about World War II, the SS, and especially the concentration camps. What is that "darkest, cruelest, and dirtiest page." What is it?Is it the genocide of the Jews?Is it the enslavement and destruction of a large number of prisoners of war?Or was it the so-called medical experiment in which the father personally participated in replacing the mice with living people?Could it be that my own father is also related to these?God, what kind of role will he play in it?

"Then..." I stared at my father.Father's eyes looked ahead, blue as distant as the sky, his thoughts seemed to fly away from his body.

"Ah..." The thought finally came back.He didn't look at me, but looked at a pot of orchids on the shelf in front of him, to be exact, that piece of orchids, and smiled. "Fu Yi in your name is Chinese. Fu is your father's surname. Yi is your first name, which means wings. The name was given by your father, hoping that you can give birth to a pair of invisible wings and fly freely between heaven and earth. .”

"Then my father..."

"Your father's name is Fu Zhao. Zhao is the light, the sun and the moon, just like his eyes."

"Who is he?" I asked eagerly, eager to solve the mystery in my heart.

My father looked at me, not understanding what I wanted to ask.But he still smiled, knowingly, from the bottom of his heart.This kind of smile, which I rarely saw in the past, is always on his mouth today. "Your real father was the most perfect and noblest man I've ever met."

Such an assessment is unusual.Baron Matthias von Meissenbach's innate status, wealth and beauty made him an arrogant, cold and arrogant person. What kind of person would he be able to get such an evaluation from? ?

I waited for my father to continue, but he suddenly asked me: "Do you know why I joined the SS?"

I shook my head, wondering what this had to do with my biological father.

"Didn't Joseph tell you?"

I shook my head again. "We didn't talk about it. In fact, Joseph never talked to me about the past."

"That's it, so you can't understand. Then you know my relationship with Joseph?"

I nod.I wondered in my heart if it was really a love triangle?

"You know it's hard, it's always been illegal in Germany."

I know this.The period after Manfred's death was very difficult for me.I wanted to know where I was going wrong and why Manfred didn't hang on.We all agreed to encourage each other, support each other, and face it with strength.However, because of my late arrival, he thought that I had abandoned him, and when he really couldn't bear the pain, he got very drunk and died in a serious car accident as a result.Therefore, I checked a lot of information in the university library, knowing that Germany enacted Article 1870 of the law in 175, which stipulates: "Any male who commits an indecent act towards another male or animal, or agrees to participate in activities of this nature, shall Sentenced." As for a woman loving a woman, there will be no punishment, although the Supreme Court had deliberately included it in the clause in 1912.According to German court records, hundreds of people were hit by this law every year between 1894 and 1914. From 1919 to 1933, German courts pronounced 175 homosexual cases on the basis of this "9" clause.Moreover, this provision has not been abolished so far, and same-sex sexual behavior between men is still a criminal offense.I don't understand why my father is telling me this now, is he teaching me, or justifying himself?

"After World War I, the situation improved. It is said that there were at least 120 million gay men in Germany at that time."

Father narrowed his eyes and paused for a while, as if recalling that happy time back then.

"That was a good time, you can love each other openly." I said teasingly.

My father ignored me, completely absorbed in his own thoughts.

"No, Joseph insisted on keeping it secret. We had a lot of quarrels over this matter. Normally, he almost listened to me, but on this matter, he didn't budge at all. At first, I thought it was because he had no courage, or I felt ashamed of my parents, but later I realized that he was actually protecting me by insisting on it."

"protect you?"

"At that time, the country's political situation was unstable, and Section 175 had not been abolished, so it was a very dangerous thing to be openly gay."

"Didn't you expose it in college?"

"At that time, Berlin, together with Paris and London, became the three major gay centers in Europe. There were indeed many gay clubs in universities. Most of the members of those clubs were radical, very active, interested in political and social activities. And I, you know, I Very arrogant, reserved, not easy to make friends, and not interested in politics, I am never a Nazi party member, and I only have one Joseph in my heart. I have never participated in any related organizations and rallies, so no one knows or is sure about me I love men."

Counting it, my father started studying at the University of Berlin Medical School in the summer of 1931, and received his doctorate in 1938, a full 7 years.If he is really loyal to Joseph's love all the time, it is really touching, and he deserves Joseph to treat him like this.

"You have been keeping secrets, how did grandma and others know? Could it be Verma?" I seemed to put aside the idea of ​​exploring my own life experience for the time being, and became more and more interested in the matter between my father and Joseph. Because it always bothers me.

"No, I really want to thank Verma. She was the first to know about this, but she kept it secret from beginning to end. This matter was disclosed to my parents because of myself. Since 32 years, people have proposed marriage one after another. I was annoyed, so I told them the truth in a hurry. My mother is fine, but very sad. And my father..." The father smiled slightly. "I was just like you, even more violent than you. Neither of us would budge, so I planned to disown my father. Joseph stopped me again. I asked him to go to Berlin with me, and he refused. .I threatened to break up, but he was unmoved. I was in a hurry, and the last person left."

"You really don't want to talk to him, do you?"

"Of course not. It didn't take long for me to return to Berlin to realize that Joseph was right. I was too arrogant, too arrogant, so indifferent to what was going on around me that I almost made a big mistake."

"how?"

"You know, it was already the summer of 1934, and in February 33, the 'Arson of Congress' occurred." Eight days before the parliamentary general election, the German Reichstag was burned. The suspected arsonist was quickly caught, a Dutch youth named Marinus Vander Lubbe (Marinus Vander Lubbe), and it was proved that this dangerous young man had homosexual orientation.)

"I know."

"June 34 was the 'Night of the Long Knives' again. (Note: On June 6, 1934, Hitler personally led the SS to fly to Munich, using the Nazi stormtrooper leader Rohm as an excuse to launch a military coup, He was arrested and executed without trial three days later. That night Himmler led the SS to shoot 6 stormtrooper leaders to death. This is the famous "Night of Long Knives" in Nazi history. Eradicate Roma Another reason was the increasingly open and frenzied homosexuality of the SA, and Hitler had ordered that "every effort should be made to expel immediately all members who violate Article 28.") In both cases, Hitler took advantage of people's awareness of the parties involved in the incident. The contempt and hatred of homosexuality divert attention and achieve their own goals.

"Everything has changed since then. The government closed all gay bars and nightclubs and almost everyone who was openly gay was arrested. Tensions grew and often all it took was a whistleblower, a photo or a mailing address You can be arrested, tried, sentenced, sent to a concentration camp, and finally died. At that time, not to mention homosexuality, even hugging between two men was illegal, and it could lead to prison. Later, I’m afraid when I think about it, if Joseph was impulsive and went to Berlin with me, then it’s nothing for us two men to live together, we must be doomed.”

"Thanks to Joseph."

"Yes, it's just that I didn't expect that I almost lost him from now on."

"how?"

"Because I was angry with my father and refused to give in to each other, I didn't go home for four years. When I came back, Joseph had already left, and it would take 40 years to reunite."