father - home

What a pain it is to be sane.I hoped to do things well, but it turned out to be impossible. All my efforts were self-defeating, which was extremely ridiculous.

I said, "We're like moths to a flame." I wanted to tell Joseph we were done.But Joseph said: "No, it should be the phoenix nirvana now." After five years of patience and misery, he finally gained understanding and acceptance, and he was immersed in his own happiness.

I asked: "What time is it?" I said: "Before, you never wanted to be outside." I just wanted to give a reasonable explanation for my indifference and passivity, lest Joseph be suspicious and sad, and the time is getting late , It's time to go back and rest.But Joseph thought that I didn't like him taking the initiative, which was not the way we used to get along, so he immediately apologized, "It's my fault, I'm sorry, I miss you so much." As a result, the sentence "It's nothing, you're home, go in .” became my order.God, the two of us are really in harmony.

I spent most of my time with Joseph until I was eight years old.When I think back sometimes, my entire childhood seems to have been one long lazy summer day with Joseph, chasing and playing in the woods and meadows while I staggered after him, clumsily being his little boy. Helper, he taught me how to ride a horse Yang Fan, catch birds and play with squirrels, we played cops and robbers, cowboys and Indians... After the age of 14, our relationship has added a natural instinct to a mature, strong, powerful The complete possession of my body made me feel grown up, equally mature, full of strength and ambition, omnipotent.Without Sophie, I have turned my fantasies about my uncle, my guilt towards Sophie, my desire for fatherly love, and my expectation for motherly love into my dependence on Joseph. He is my only relative and friend, and I am His true master. During the 23 years of getting along, from a tender meat ball in my arms to galloping under him, I have become his God, the whole of his life.How should I handle our current relationship?How should I tell him the truth?

No!I can't tell him!Zhao said, since we will be separated eventually, we should not let Joseph suffer for no reason.But the essence has changed, can we still get along like before?

The poor thing is that my body won't go numb.It was the body of a 28-year-old, mature, healthy man.I want, I always want, I want to have real, intense, hearty sex with my darling.I know that as long as I think, Zhao will cooperate unconditionally at any time, but his body..."We still have time, we have plenty of time, just wait, just wait." But this wait...is really teasing Man, I never held him in my arms again.It's not that there is no chance at all, but our world is no longer pure, and it is no longer just ourselves.We worry too much, we care too much, we love each other so much that we involuntarily consider everything related to each other.We can no longer love each other freely, fearlessly, and do what we want.

It is not true to say that it is completely different from before.I am sure that there is only Zhao in my love, and I love him wholeheartedly, without any falsehood.But what about the body?Objectively speaking, my body is far less familiar with Zhao than Joseph.Although we were separated for five years, the memories of growing up since we were young are deeply engraved in every cell. The years have not wiped them out, but just hidden them, and they will wake up with just a little stimulation.It has awakened, unexpectedly, rational resistance is so fragile, I should be annoyed, should be bored, but no.I do feel a little bit ashamed, but the pitiful shame is too little, the proportion is insignificant, and it has been completely replaced by anticipation and joy.I gave up struggling and resisting. Maybe those were just posturing, but I still stubbornly remained passive. This was the last line of defense deep in my heart.Love does not need to swear or confess to anyone. The oath of love has only one object, and that is myself——I am painfully guarding the oath to Zhao'ai in my heart.

The feeling is too familiar, callused and thick palms, clumsy and gentle lips, I am exhausted by the torment in my heart, my body is hot, my desire has risen, I am sweating, my muscles are tense, my eyes are blurred, my breathing Haste, I gave up all resistance, for I had neither courage nor strength.

Joseph looked up at me, eyes full of happiness, longing, passion.But he was still cautious, timid, and trembling. "I don't think I should...but I miss you so much, I know you want to..."

I couldn't answer, just nodded.

"I know you're tired, don't move, let me do it."

"Let me do it." I recalled the familiar sentence, the familiar voice.Joseph is always "let me do it".

Joseph helped me undress, pushed a lock of blond hair from my eyes, and frowned. "Why are you sweating so much? Marty, you're pale." He looked at me worriedly, took a towel to wipe my sweat, and shook his head in frustration. "Maybe it really shouldn't be." He thought I was weak after the onset of the disease in the afternoon, but he didn't know that my mind and body, emotion and instinct were fighting fiercely.

If it's a last resort, let it happen.I was ruthless, and only uttered one syllable: "No!"

There was a pause in Joseph's movements, but he still heard it.It seems to be begging me, but also to convince himself. "We don't have many chances, I only have two weeks of vacation, and you don't usually come back."

I nod.Whispered: "Kiss me!"

Startled, he dropped the towel from his hand.

"Kiss me!" I repeated.

I'm tired, I'm exhausted, I need relaxation, distraction, caress, tenderness.I fell into his arms, opened my mouth, slightly closed my eyes, and invited him.

Pressing against his bare chest, I immediately felt waves of tides from the deepest part of my body, but the expected, long-awaited, stormy kiss did not happen for a long time.I didn't know what Joseph was doing, and I didn't dare to open my eyes to see what was going on.I dare not look, I am afraid that my hesitant and hesitant eyes will irritate him.Now he is the happiest, most sensitive and vulnerable.

Finally, the breath mixed with the aroma of tobacco hits my face. It is Joseph's unique mature taste, which always makes me feel at ease and excited.He is always so gentle, cautious, and considerate, which is really annoying, why can't it be heavier, faster, and more intense.When we were kissing, I was biting and I bit him.Of course, I controlled the intensity so that there would be no bleeding, but it was still painful enough.I'm happy, it's the game we play every time: whenever you can beat me in kissing, I'll let you be on top.

However, he escaped.

"Damn!" I was so angry that I almost cursed.He never beat me, and he didn't even want to beat me, even though I was ready to be at his mercy.Weren't you very active just now?Why now... I don't know what I hate, Joseph didn't mess with me, he has been trying to do everything, everything I want him to do.Some things, I did not ask, he is also trying to do.