father - home

I woke up, reluctantly woken up, feeling hot and uncomfortable in my chest and throat, not knowing for a moment where I was.Looking around, there is no one, Joseph has already left, presumably he must have seen that I slept soundly before leaving.I lifted the sheet again, saw myself naked, and thought of the afternoon, as if it happened not just now, but a long time ago; not just an hour, but the whole long hot summer.

I sat up slowly, still feeling weak all over, but knew there was nothing serious about my body.I got out of bed wrapped in a sheet, which was left on the carpet on the way to the bathroom.

I soak myself in warm water.The bathtub was so big that I slid down and buried my whole head in it.I was holding my breath, my chest was starting to hurt, and I couldn't be bothered to come up.Do I want to completely wash away the exhaustion and anxiety in this body?Or are you nostalgic for the ease of letting go?I still want to make up for the regret and injustice—my beloved will eventually leave me. If I die now, will my soul be with him forever?

I stuck my head out of the water, gasped for breath, fixed my eyes, but turned a blind eye to the things around me, and scenes of the past flashed in my mind.The broken mirror, the blood all over the floor, the lover in my arms... In those days, Zhao was exhausted by drug addiction and almost went crazy. I bleed for him and worry about him.I stretched out my hand to touch the scar on the left side of my face, but I couldn't feel the bulge, but I could still see it; I touched my chin, and it seemed that I could still feel the heat on my hand through the bandage.Zhao shaved my face with his injured hand.How long has it been since I shaved him?He doesn't need me anymore?An inch below the surface, the muscles in my stomach tense now and again as I recall other details.

I finally got up from the tub, shivering and naked, and walked into the bedroom.With the exception of sheets on the carpet, the house was tidy and there was no sign of my illness.The military jacket was hanging on the hanger, and the changed clothes and leather boots were gone. Joseph must have taken them away.The warmth of the room baked by the sun made me unable to raise my spirits a little bit.I stretched, fell back on the bed, buried my face in the pillow, and moaned.

I rolled over on my back, crossed my legs, and folded my hands behind my head, feeling the coolness of my dry skin.

There was only one light on by the fireplace in the dining room, which made it look very dim.The open floor-to-ceiling windows outlined a pale green sky, and two familiar silhouettes were not far away under the sky.Mother was working with flowers on the side table.Wasn't that vase originally in my room?How did you come to the restaurant?

That is a blue and white porcelain vase from China, which has been kept in my room because of its simplicity.When Zhao saw it later, he was very surprised, and said that according to the shape and inscription of the vessel, it might be blue and white porcelain from the Yuan Dynasty in China, but he was not sure, so he asked me where I came from.I don't know either, so I asked my mother.My mother said it was given by my aunt in East Prussia.Zhao said Yuan blue and white are very rare, and only the court and dignitaries in China have them.I remembered that my uncle had been to China.Zhao asked what year it was.I don't remember, I'm going to ask my mother.But Zhao held me back and said forget it.Maybe he has realized something, seeing his expression, I didn't insist.No matter what, Zhao liked this blue and white porcelain vase very much. In those days, my mother would replace the flowers in the porcelain vase with new ones every day.Now why does mother bring it to the restaurant?Is it because it is inappropriate to put it in Zhao's current bedroom, or is it because both Showa jade and jade are Chinese, so they put them here so that they have some intimacy, or is it because my mother knows the value of this blue and white porcelain vase, and puts it in a conspicuous position on purpose ?It's not my mother's personality to be ostentatious.

I walked behind my mother. "I'm late, mother."

"Oh, Marty, you're up."

I was taken aback.Mother knew I was sick?Joseph told her?But seeing her mother didn't even raise her head, it didn't seem like it.I muttered in my heart and gave a vague "hmm".

"Joseph went to wake you up just now. Seeing that you were asleep, he didn't want to wake you up. He told you to sleep a little longer. What's the matter? Did you not sleep well last night?" Mother put the last gerbera into the blue and white porcelain vase, He took a step back and looked at it carefully, but still felt bad, so he took out all the flowers again, arranged them neatly in his hand, held them with one hand, put a bunch of flowers into the vase together, and then let go of his hand , Let the flowers spread freely. "Look, it's better like this. Sometimes the more you manage, the more problems are likely to occur. It's better to let nature take its course." The mother clapped her hands in satisfaction, and said to the old housekeeper who was setting the tableware: "Paul, go call Let them come in, dinner can begin."

them?I was shocked.The silhouettes I saw just now, I should have thought of them.I must still be dizzy. "You are busy, Mr. Reininger, I will go."

"Marty, we've been waiting here for half an hour, and I'm already half drunk." Zhao shook the wine glass in his hand, and the ice cubes in the glass collided and made clinking sounds.

"What? You..." I was just about to get angry out of habit, when I suddenly saw the sly smile on Zhao's face, and I choked.Surprise (didn’t expect to see you, are you okay?), blame (you woke up, you’re okay, why didn’t you come and tell me?), worry (don’t hold on, it’s not necessary, it’s not meant to be) time.), grateful (but I'm still very happy to see you, thank you for coming.), sad (but why do I feel that the distance is so far away, getting farther and farther.) My mood is complicated, and I can't tell what it feels like .

They all wore coats and formal suits.Zhao was wearing a white linen suit.When I saw the suit, I smiled, a good laugh.That was my suit, and it was the first time I saw Zhao wearing it.Once, when I was giving clothes to Zhao, I pointed out to him: "When it's hot, if you have to wear a formal suit, you should wear this suit." At that time, I asked him to try it, and he said, "There is nothing to try, anyway. I can wear your clothes."

I didn't expect him to actually put it on today.Did he take it with him when he changed rooms, or did he get it from my room just now?Anyway, my mood became brighter, this is the secret between us: Zhao's sly smile, slightly drunken eyes, the suit on his body, these are secrets that only the two of us can understand.Because of these secrets, our distance has shortened again, and I have experienced intimacy again.