father - home

I gobbled it up, and in the blink of an eye, the bottom of the soup plate was gone.I have some regrets.I know that Zhao is good at cooking, but this is the first time I have really tasted his cooking.So when I ate the second plate, I consciously slowed down, hoping to savor the taste of the food carefully, hope that all kinds of delicacies will last in my teeth, and hope that the memories of scenes will be engraved in my heart.However, I fail.

Zhao helped me fill up the soup plate for the third time and said, "Eat slowly, this is the last portion."

When I heard it, I was anxious, I got up and looked into the pot, isn't there more?

Zhao frowned and looked at me, as if facing a vexatious child with big eyes and small belly. "This is already a lot, if you eat any more, you will have to vomit."

"Can……"

His eyes and tone made me angry, and he said again: "You haven't eaten for two days, you're very hungry."

two days?I didn't expect that.

"What time is it?"

"Aren't you wearing a watch?"

"No, I mean what day of the week?"

"Tuesday, today is Tuesday."

I was silent, I didn't expect that I had been out for two days and one night, and during the day and night, could it be that I was unconscious all the time?

Zhao also sat down on the tree trunk, a little apart from me, not close to each other.He looked at me, but I lowered my head, avoiding his gaze.

"Why don't you eat it? Suddenly it doesn't taste good?" Zhao asked me.

"No, it's delicious, it's really delicious." I was a little lost.

"Then eat it. The meat is very rotten and easy to digest. I thought about grilling it because there are no ingredients here. But then I thought it would be easy to get angry if grilled. Your current situation is not suitable... Of course I don't either Appropriate, you will definitely be angry, so..."

Zhao is speechless, and I am speechless.

I realized that I had done something wrong - run away.I looked at him timidly, and he kept staring at me.Today he is very gentle, no longer avoiding me, taking good care of me, but behind all this, I feel a kind of uneasiness, blame and anger.

We finished our meal in silence.Zhao took the simple tableware to the river to wash it, and put it back in the wooden house. When he came back, he had the can of coffee in his hand.

Zhao added some firewood to the bonfire, and made coffee, until both of them served boiling hot coffee, we didn't say a word, and remained silent.

As the sky was getting darker, Zhao threw some more firewood into the fire, and the flames became brighter, crackling and flickering with sparks.My body, which was hot from drinking the soup, gradually cooled down, and I pulled the slid blanket over my shoulders.Holding the second cup of coffee, I still sat on the tree trunk without moving.

Zhao only drank a cup of coffee, which made me feel relieved, he is not a person who takes things for granted.

Finally, Zhao spoke: "Tell me, why did you do this?"

I understood what he was asking, but I didn't know how to answer it.I just hummed: "What?"

"Why did you do this?"

"do not know……"

"I don't know? When you, Baron Matthias von Meissenbach, don't know what you're doing?"

Zhao asked sarcastically, which made my heart ache.I lowered my eyes and stared at the coffee in my hand.The light of the campfire shone in the brown liquid, which was deep and evocative.

"Say, why did you say those things to Yu? Why do you want to humiliate our feelings?"

Zhao's roar was right next to my ears.I looked up and was right in his face.He glared at me from top to bottom.The brown liquid shook, and the light inside became fragmented.Zhao took the mug from me.

Facing my silence, he was very powerless, and when he came back, he sat beside me and sighed. "I don't know what you're thinking. Have you ever thought about others? Have you ever thought about me?"

"I..." I felt guilty and sad, and the saddest thing for me was watching him sad.I put my arms around his shoulders. "I'm thinking of you. That's the only thing I can do for you."

"For me? What do you mean?"

"I know you like Jade. You would love her without me, and you're not entirely forced to propose to her. Jade loves you too, she loves you even more than I do, and if she knew the truth, she wouldn't say no You, you will get married, you will return to your country, you will have a new life, you will..."

"Snapped!"

My sweet sorrow, my bitter tenderness are all interrupted by this slap.I was dumbfounded, and stared at Zhao with my mouth wide open.And his expression was more surprised, more painful, and more flustered than mine.

"Are you okay? Marty, are you awake? Marty, do you know what you're doing?" Zhao grabbed my shoulders and shook them so hard that the blanket slid down again.

I was so angry that I was shaken by him, I turned my hands and pushed him away, and when I stood up, I didn't forget to grab the blanket around my waist. "Okay! Of course I know what I'm doing! I'm helping you get your freedom! Helping you realize your wish to return to China! Everything I do is for you! You know, Zhao, I won't hurt anyone if I hurt you!"

"What!...what!" Zhao shouted angrily, shaking his fists. I was a little scared. This was Zhao I had never seen before, and his face changed with anger.But I don't want to go back to where I started, and I don't want it to go to waste after all the work I've done and the pain I've suffered.I'm willing to do whatever it takes to get him back on track, as long as it prevents Joseph's tragedy from being repeated to him.

I grabbed his arm, not just to calm him down, but also because I was a little too weak to say these words and needed something to lean on. "Zhao, do you know? You don't love me as you think... I saved you, and I saved you more than once. You are grateful to me and want to repay me. You regard gratitude as love. You are pure in nature, Zhao , anything I want, as long as you have it, you will give it to me... Let me tell you, all I need is love, and you gave me love without hesitation. But in fact, this is not love, this is just repayment."

"How do you know? How do you know how I feel? How do you know it's not love?"

"Because you're not gay!"

Zhao paused.I knew that was the question that had been puzzling him too, so I pursued it as if I were getting some kind of joy from this painful emotional shock, simple, meaningless, pathetic, triumphant joy.

"Our feelings are often deceived and confused, but our men's bodies can't lie. Think about it, you think you love me, but your body hasn't responded for a long time. Why?" I stopped and let Zhao The aftertaste produced a stronger effect, and I myself needed a breather and a conviction. "Because you were deceived by your own kindness and innocence. Yes, you have good feelings for me, family affection, friendship, respect, dependence, trust, gratitude, many, many, but there is no love. Love is very special. Love is more special, only people who naturally like the same sex will have it, you are not, so you can't have it, and your body won't respond."

"But you said it was because..."

"That's the answer I need. Zhao, I'm selfish, sorry."

"But...but then it wasn't..."

"Zhao, you are a man, all men will do that when they are touched, not to mention that I am a master of blowjob."

"No!" Zhao shook his head, his eyes widened, with a look of suspicion, confusion, and hesitation. "After that, how do you explain it?"

"Ah, and in the future, think about it carefully, once is the withdrawal reaction of drug withdrawal, and once is early morning, that's all." With this frivolous tone and harsh language again, I wish I could kill myself.However, I was uncontrollably persistent, as if I had to make this unjust case a reality. "Zhao, men will have desires when facing the person they like. Think about yourself, who have you ever had? Or, who has the stronger desire?"

Zhao's eyes drifted out, and slowly swept across me.I panicked a little.Is it too much?Would he believe such absurd nonsense?if……

Zhao's eyes rested on the dancing flames, and he murmured to himself after a while, "I see."

I stopped breathing, don't!Don't tell me the answer!