father - home

"Schenk is married, and I heard that his wife is pregnant and is about to give birth, and Shenk's aversion and cruelty to homosexuals are well known. I heard that once, among the new batch of prisoners, there was a homosexual A bit feminine, Shen Ke asked him to publicly confess his experience with a man in order to humiliate him, and then Shen Ke asked his soldiers to beat the homosexual to death on the spot with sticks. After watching, I finally did it myself and trampled the prisoner's genitals to pieces."

"so……"

"So, whatever Schenk does, it has nothing to do with homosexuality."

"And how do you explain what Shenk is doing now?"

"It was the Chinese who changed him. They say in the battalion that Schenk hasn't been to the brothel in town since the Chinese came."

"What!?" I jumped violently, "How can you say that, can you blame him for all this?"

"No! Marty, calm down." Ernst grabbed my waving hand, "I mean the Chinese are so good, so perfect, that everyone who has met him will feel affection. Even I, who is completely indifferent to the same sex, can't help but look at him more. Schenk has come into contact with too many homosexuals, too many criminals, and Jews. In his eyes, those are scum. He despises him from the bottom of his heart. They, they hate them, they grovel under his despotic power, and try to survive. But the Chinese are completely different, he is so proud and confident, radiant. So Shen Ke has the desire to conquer. Shen Ke wants to get him, at all costs means."

"Then let Shenk do whatever he wants?"

"Marty, let's be real, in a way we have to thank Schenk too. You know, in the battalion, almost all the pretty young men were forced to give sex to Capo or SS guards. Service. Some of them want to get more food, some want to change to an easier job, or get a pair of closed-toed shoes. In short, in order to survive, they have to sell their bodies, which is understandable. Jealousy often happens. There was an incident a while ago: the two Kapos both liked a gay young man in Austria, and they couldn’t stand each other. In the end, they injected the young man with a needle of gasoline, and the young man died. Like China As soon as such an excellent and beautiful person appears in the camp, you don’t know how many pairs of eyes will stare at him. Fortunately, Schenk announced his desire for the Chinese people early, otherwise the situation of the Chinese people will be even worse .”

"Why? Why trade humiliation for a chance to live? This is not what he wants, absolutely not. If so, if so, why can't he get someone who truly loves him and will never hurt him, won't Where is the person who forced him? Why..."

Before the word "I" came out, Ernst grabbed my hand, stared into my eyes, and said firmly, "No! You must not!"

I shook my arm, broke away from Ernst's hand, and said angrily: "Why can't I, since this is the trend, who dares to stop me?"

"Me! I want to stop you!"

"You? Why?"

"I can't let you ruin yourself, Marty, open your eyes and see, what is this place? The place where all human evils are concentrated. Once the prisoner arrives here, he has nothing, no property, no relatives, no dignity and Rights, rights to love, rights to life, rights to pleasure... true homosexuality is strictly forbidden here. Emotionless bartering, conquest, and possession are allowed here. If you do, Marty, you two All will suffer. Once you do this, you will soon be denounced, and as a result, the Chinese will be killed for seducing an SS officer, and you will be a prisoner like him, or perish with him. This That's why I deliberately concealed any information about him from you. I'm afraid you will fall into it and fall into a situation where there is no redemption."

What I said made me speechless. After the anger and impulse, only fear remained.I sat down and asked feebly like a deflated ball, "How did you know? When?"

"Marty, we were classmates for four years. Isn't it strange that you never approached any girl in four years? Although you never approached any boy, it at least shows that you are very different. You know, a bunch of our classmates once talked about you in private, but there was no evidence. Fortunately, there was no evidence, otherwise, I think some of our classmates would have reported it. This time when we met again on the train, I first noticed You still don't have your wedding ring on. You're 27 and you're not engaged at 27, which is not normal for a baron. Then I saw that look in your eyes for the first time. I'm an adult too , I have loved, and I have seen others love, I know what that look means. But at the time, I looked around, and there was no woman. Even if there was, it didn't mean anything. Because I saw, in your eyes Here, there is only one him—the Chinese.

"Honestly, there was a time when I wished he had died. It was when Fabien died, and I felt bad and I took it out on him. If it hadn't been for him, Fabien wouldn't have died. I know that. Don't think so, but that's what I really thought at the time. I wasn't going to save him until he was punished. If Schenk didn't insist, I would really let him die and disappear from now on, and he would never come again I'm bothering you. I think he should go to Fabian to make amends, isn't he going to protect Fabian? Why is Fabian dead, but he is still alive? I thought it was God's arrangement: he deserved to die, not to live !

"Shenk saved him. I hate Shenk, but at that time, Shenk touched me. Shenk's unremitting efforts finally produced a miracle, and he came back to life. But he was even more lonely. Since then, no one friend."

"Don't you hate him, why do you feel sorry for him?"

"After he woke up, Schenk asked him about the blanket, but he remained silent. Another time, he suddenly said thank you, very solemn, very sincere. I asked him why. He said that for Fabian's last At that moment, I took care of Fabian. I was touched, you know, at that time, the Chinese was still suffering from a high fever, and his life was still hovering on the verge of death. Marty, Schenk never got him, he Have a kind, unyielding heart."

"You mean..."

"His physical fitness was very good, so after the fever subsided, he recovered quickly. But later, his physical condition was not optimistic. Once, when I was reviewing him, Shenke happened to be busy and went out. I Tell him that if he doesn't want to take any more medicine, I won't give it. These medicines are for SS soldiers to treat diseases, not for him as a prisoner. He became anxious at once, and he said: Please Sir, we need these medicines badly. You are a doctor, you saved me, and you don't let a patient suffer without treating it. I understand it when I hear it."

"So, as soon as you walked in, you asked me if I gave him medicine?"

"Yes, he bought these medicines with his own health, but they were not for himself, but for his fellow sufferers. I think he stopped taking medicines when his pneumonia was not cured. He I gave all the medicines to those in need. In the concentration camps, ordinary prisoners were sick, and if I found me, I could only give him an injection. So once they got sick, they would rather stay by themselves than come Find me. I heard one more thing, the 'Professor' told me. Marty, do you remember that boy on the platform of the Berlin railway station?"

"Remember, what happened?"

"His father, some time ago, was locked up for fifteen days."

"why?"

"It seems to be arguing with prisoners in the same camp. I don't know the reason."

"A fellow prisoner? That's Jewish too?"

Ernst nodded, as surprised as I was.Because they are considered an inferior race, Jews are discriminated against and have little contact with other prisoners, but they themselves are very united, so why do they quarrel?

"No matter what the reason is, in short, fifteen days of confinement, think about it..." Ernst said.

The confinement in the camp is stipulated to be locked in a dark room without water or food. For those prisoners who are severely deprived of nutrition and have become skinny, not to mention fifteen days, ten days, or five days, none of them survived. .

"Why... is it related to him?"

"Yes, he got Schenk's permission to give the food he saved to that Jew every day."

No wonder, Shen Ke said that he was given extra food, but he was still undernourished. It turned out that he gave the food to others.What he exchanged for his humiliation was not his own, but the hope of survival of his fellow sufferers. This kind of life is not only not dirty or filthy, but holy and noble.But when can it be a head?

"When will this kind of life be the end? He always has too many responsibilities and too many fetters. Shenke can easily find one reason after another to threaten him. Do you see? Ernst, you see what he looks like now How long do you think he can hold on? How can he stand the pressure? "Will? Second Lieutenant Schenk's male favorite", what a proud man he is, how can he stand this kind of humiliation? How can you stand it?"

I saw that body that was getting thinner, scarred, and trembling slightly; that pair of sad eyes that replaced smiles, and haze that replaced rainbows; that tightly closed mouth that swallowed all humiliation, injustice and suffering.My heart is broken.The tears flowed down uncontrollably. "Ernie, what should I do? What can I do for him? I can't just watch him suffer like this. I can't take it, I can't take it." I buried my head in my hands, sobbing.In my memory, there has never been such a sad moment.This is the first time that I can't control my emotions so much.

Ernst put his arms around my shoulders, choked up and said, "If you can't bear it, you have to bear it. You can't do anything but wait."

"Wait until when?"

"Wait until the day when he can finally leave here. Either go out through the gate and return to the human world. Or float out of the chimney of the crematorium and go straight to the kingdom of heaven."