father - home

Snowing.The first snow in that winter lasted for one day and one night.

There was no supper, no appetite for supper, and finally Ernst and I had a few beers in the Soldiers Club.Drinking beer is because you are afraid of getting drunk, "after drinking, you will feel even more worried." In such emotions, it is better to be more cautious.When we hooked our shoulders and staggered back to the dormitory, it was already raining.

It didn't rain heavily, didn't get much drenched, and even the top of the big hat wasn't completely wet, but the cold and wet chill spread from the bottom of my heart.When I got back to the dormitory, the first thing I did was to take a shower.

Steaming from my wet hair and wrapped in a cozy, warm bathrobe, I walked to the window barefoot.In the distance, the club was brightly lit, and the glass windows revealed the figures of figures, laughing and cursing endlessly.Nearby, under the street lamps, the rain is dense, as if all the tears are converging towards one place; in the rain and fog, the lights are dim, and the rain helps in the thick night, extinguishing and hiding the hopes in people's hearts one by one.All the officers and soldiers who came out of the club turned up their coat collars, lowered the brims of their hats, and ran back to the dormitory quickly. Their military boots made a "click, click" sound on the sandy road that had accumulated water.The door of the dormitory opened and closed "squeak, squeak", and figures came and went, but I didn't see that familiar figure.

I don't know what time he comes every night.I didn't like him coming, but I still wanted to see him.This is not only to alleviate the pain of missing in my heart that I don't want to admit, but also because at least Shenk's dormitory is safe, warm, and dry, and maybe he can take a bath, Shenk will let him take a bath.Thinking that he can be so close to me, I got a little comfort in my heart.At the club, I didn't see Schenk, whether he left early or never came.The SS guards in the concentration camp, when they were not on duty at night, either had fun in the club or ran amok in the prisoner's barracks. It was rare for them to go back to the dormitory so early to sleep.Schenk wasn't at the club, and I don't believe he went to the prisoners either, he's back in the dormitory, and whether he's having a good time or running amuck, I don't want to think about it.

I went to get a cigarette from the pocket of the hanging military uniform, only to realize that my feet were already a little numb, my hands were cold, and my stomach was empty without food. It had no other purpose except to transmit the cold to the whole body.The heat brought by the shower has long been dissipated by the chill in my heart. On this winter night, the lonely and cold room disappeared without a trace.

I rummaged through the cabinet for a while, found the bottle of brandy that was still half left, threw my neck back, drank it all in one gulp, and then fell asleep, so I missed the moment when he left the next morning.

It rained all night, mixed with strong winds, and the next day it was even worse.After early roll call, the playground was muddy.

I now regret the half bottle of brandy I drank last night.In addition to waking up in the morning with a headache and a stomachache, I missed him.Imagine him walking through the entire playground in heavy wind and rain, and he must be soaked all over.Does he still have a change of dry clothes?Did Schenk get him a raincoat?If Schenk prepared it, he wouldn't take it no matter what.What about me, if I give it, will he accept it?

The rain has not stopped, but the wind has subsided, and it is getting colder and colder outside.In the afternoon, there was a crackling sound in the sound of the rain. When I looked carefully, the raindrops fell on the window sill and bounced off. It turned out to be ice, ice beads.After a while, the crystal clear ice beads, as well as the raindrops, all turned into opaque white, became larger in size, lighter in weight, slowed down, and the rain turned into snow.

Because there is already water on the ground, the first snow falls into the water and disappears immediately.Gradually, the sky is getting darker and the temperature is getting lower and lower. The original heat of the earth has long been exhausted.At night, there is a layer of pure and beautiful white snow on the playground, on the roof, on the window sills, on the lampshades, on the branches, and even on the spikes of the barbed wire.Only the road in the camp where people keep walking, the accumulated water has just formed a thin layer of ice, and then it is crushed, and the falling snow has turned into dirty translucent ice slag mixed with muddy water, which never accumulates.

I don't want to miss him again, but staying alone in the dormitory, the cold and lonely night was really hard, so I decided to work all night, like last time, come back in the early morning, maybe I can see him on the playground he.

What a big snow!The heavy snowflakes flying all over the sky seemed weightless. They didn't fall from the sky, but were always floating around in this space. When it hit something, it stopped.If you can't touch it, it will keep floating... keep floating...

A snowflake touched my face and hung on my lips.Another snowflake drifted into my eyes and melted into my tears, bringing a coolness to my hot, stinging eyes.I stood in the snow for a long time, looked for a long time, there was a white border made of snowflakes on the top of the collar patch, but I didn't see anything.Apart from the heavy snow, there was nothing to be seen, not him, not even a shadow.

Standing in the snow, time stops, or disappears.I don't think how dark the sky is before dawn, and I don't expect to be covered with a beautiful morning glow. I don't know when the sky is bright, or maybe it isn't bright at all.

There was movement in the barracks, the sound of orders came from a distance, and the sentinels on the gun towers began to change their guards. A new day in the concentration camp was about to begin in this dark, cold, and desolate snow.

I hurried to the center of the playground, following the route he should take, hoping to find his footprints.But no, the snow was falling like sifted flour, covering all traces in layers.I looked back, and the footprints behind me were also rapidly disappearing, how could I still find it?

In the early morning of the third day, the snow finally stopped.Through street lamps and searchlights, one can see a piece of white, a world covered in silver.The playground and roads are all white, covering up the mud, dirt, and blood; the roofs are white, and houses covered with snow should be warm, but they are not; , It is as beautiful as a foggy pine, but don't forget that the "branches" wrapped in snow have high voltage and must not be touched.In any case, this is the most beautiful moment in the concentration camp. If there is another clear morning after the snow, an orange morning glow sprinkles this silvery world, how beautiful it would be...

He had been standing in the middle of the playground for a long time, and the long guard shouted at him and planned to drive him away.I stopped the guard with a wave of my hand and walked towards him by myself.

When I got closer, I saw snowflakes on his shoulders.He has been standing for a long time, and he is standing here before the snow stops.Could it be that he would look at the sky and know that the heavy snow that has fallen all day and night will stop soon?If so, he should have seen that although the snow had stopped, the weather had not cleared up.

I wanted to pat the snow off his shoulders, and raised my hand, but I didn't dare to stretch it out, I just said softly behind him: "Go back, don't wait, the sun won't come out today."

His body shook for a while, and he didn't look back. "Thank you, sir."

Then, he left.

I know that I didn't disturb him. He couldn't fail to hear the sentry's cry earlier, and he couldn't fail to notice my footsteps walking in the snow. He knew I was behind him.The words I said to him were gentle, more like a request than an order, and he should be able to hear the meaning.

meaning?sky!I opened my mouth wide, and then I realized: "The sun won't come out".He was shaken because he heard the meaning of my words and was touched.Not frightened, not afraid, not cold, but disappointed, maybe desperate.I don't know if he will despair.when?What's up?He too was desperate.

"But that's not what I meant!" I wanted to yell at him, to explain to him, but I couldn't open my mouth, I couldn't make a sound.Looking at the shaky, thin, and receding figure, I felt a burst of sadness in my heart.Since when did that green, proud, heroic man disappear from my sight?I didn't keep him, didn't help him, and didn't make any effort, because of my cowardice and selfishness, because I thought he was invincible and indestructible.No, he is a human being, no matter how radiant he is, he will not have the power of a god; no matter how strong and unyielding he is, he will not be as ferocious as a wolf.I dropped him and left him alone with the pack.I'm mean, I'm shameful, I'm not even as good as Schenk.

I don't have the courage of Shen Ke, I don't even have the courage to encourage him, I want to call him, let him turn around, let me comfort him, let me take another look at those jade-like eyes.Jade, the most cherished treasure of the Chinese people, is truly priceless.Jade is warm, pure, and dazzling. Jade is also fragile and fragile. It needs care and is worth cherishing...

Feeling lost, I lowered my head and walked back, and suddenly caught a glimpse of the place where he was standing just now, there was a pool of bright red in the snow.He had stood here for a long time, so the blood stains were obvious, but the footprints in the snow in front of him were basically invisible due to the snow cover.

My heart tightened, I turned around and tried to call him again, but he was already gone.