father - home

Before leaving, Ernst said: "I'll be back in a while, don't do anything stupid." His tone was extremely severe.

I pretended I didn't hear it, went to the window and opened the curtains.

The edge of the curtain brought the flowers on the window sill. The petals trembled for a long time, but they did not fall.ah!It was the bouquet of flowers that Martin and the others sent, and it has been here for three days.The curtains opened and closed, closed and opened again, and I often caught glimpses and often thought it was a real flower, because it seemed to be withering and fading.It's actually because of the light.After that day, the sun never came out, it was always gloomy, and the lights had to be turned on in the house during the day, otherwise I felt dim, and although it was not so hard to see things clearly, my mood became very bad.

Not sure what went wrong, when?What went wrong, mishandled?Not sure why this is happening.Not sure what else to do.I just continue to do what I should do and what I can do, but I don't know whether these measures will still have an effect, or I can be sure that they will have no effect after all.It is not so much hard work and persistence as companionship and waiting.I still hold on to hope, I still have that responsibility, and at the same time, I am strong. If I give up, who else... I am really unwilling, I really can't let go, it is really hard to accept.

After the first epileptic seizure, Zhao's condition took a sharp turn for the worse, and he could be in danger at any time.Since then, the three of us, Ernst and Ellen, have taken Zhao's ward as our home, taking turns to take a nap in the office next door when we are tired, and only leave when we have to.

It was 8:[-] in the morning, and both Ernst and Ellen had to go downstairs to the ward, and it was just me and Akira in the room.

I went to Zhao's bedside, put the chair in a suitable position, sat on it and tried it.Very good, so that when I need to suction, I can just stretch out my right hand.Zhao now sucks phlegm more and more frequently, once in less than 10 minutes, I have to prepare in advance.

I stuck the needle at one end of the infusion tube into my left arm, and bright red, thick arterial blood gushed out immediately, filling the entire tube. Immediately along the infusion tube, it flowed from my arm into his body.I adjusted the infusion speed and calculated the required time according to the flow rate. Today I think I can still infuse 400ml.

This is the "stupid thing" that Ernst warned me not to do.I did it once yesterday, also when Ernst and Ellen were away.

As soon as Ernst entered the door, he rushed over when he saw me like this, pulled out the needle on my arm, pressed the cotton wool on the eye of the needle, squeezed his arm tightly, stared at me fiercely, and shouted Said: "How much did you lose?"

"About four hundred." I felt my voice was far away.

"It's crazy, you will die like this."

"You almost crushed my bones."

Ernst didn't let go, his expression and voice softened. "Why are you so stubborn, I told you, that's not necessarily true, even Ellen can't be sure."

"I..." I opened my mouth, but suddenly I didn't know what to say.I'm so tired, there are two Ernst in front of me.

"Marty!"

"I want to sleep for a while, you won't go."

"Don't go. Go to sleep, I'm here."

This is exactly what I need, sleep.I haven't closed my eyes for more than 50 hours, my eyes are bloodshot, the eye circles are dark, and my face is pale. Ernst said that with my current state, if Zhao wakes up and sees me, he will faint again.I know I need to rest, I need to sleep, but I can't close my eyes, I can't settle, I haven't tried, I just can't.

Well now I finally feel drowsy due to lack of oxygen to my brain and I can finally sleep.

Blood transfusion is one of the few things I can do for Zhao.

I'm really not sure whether Zhao's continuous high fever is related to the blood transfusion, but at least after the first day of blood transfusion, Zhao's body temperature did not change significantly, and on the second and third days, after the transfusion of Martin and his fellow sufferers. Soon after the blood, Zhao's body temperature rose rapidly, even exceeding 40°C.I can't take this risk again, what's more, it's been nearly five days since he was in a coma, and he hasn't eaten rice, and his body is getting weaker and weaker. Blood transfusion is his only source of nutrition, and a 200ml transfusion is far from enough, but I can't ask a prisoner to give Zhao 400ml of blood at a time.So, no matter how Ernst and Ellen objected, I still insisted on going my own way.In fact, Ernst also understands that as soon as they leave, I will do "stupid things" again. This is not entirely a bad thing for me. At least I can get a moment of peace and tranquility.

A high fever seems to be the beginning of the deterioration of the condition.

But at first I didn’t realize it. I thought it was the expected recurrence of the illness, and I thought physical methods could be used to control the body temperature, so I took the trouble to wipe Zhao’s body with 30% alcohol again and again, and frequently changed the ice pack.The effect is not bad at first, and it can last for an hour after the body temperature drops.But gradually, the body temperature rises faster and faster, and at night, physical cooling has almost no effect.

"I can't go on like this, let's take medicine." Ernst reminded me.

Medication, I haven't thought about it.

Zhao cannot be administered orally now, and Analgin injection is the only antipyretic and cooling drug I have available.With Analgin injection, the patient will sweat profusely or even collapse when the body temperature drops.Zhao's body is extremely weak now, and I'm worried that he won't be able to bear it.And intramuscular injection of Analgin may cause redness, swelling and necrosis of local tissues.Repeated use may also aggravate anemia and make the condition more complicated.As for allergic reactions, maybe not so coincidental.So I always hoped that it would be best not to use it, but the result of my hesitation and prudence was high fever and epileptic seizures caused by infection.

Epilepsy, the thing I was most worried about and dreaded, finally happened.

Although I had prepared in advance, when the convulsion happened, I still panicked, except to insert the tongue depressor between Zhao's upper and lower teeth to prevent him from biting his own tongue, and hold his body so that he would not fall. I dare not do anything other than get out of bed.

The most important thing is to quickly stop the convulsions with drugs, otherwise, over time, the brain will suffer from severe hypoxia and brain cell necrosis, and it will be difficult to recover in the future.Just thinking about it makes me shudder.We have prepared fast-acting sodium amobarbital dissolved in glucose solution and injected slowly intravenously. The dosage is extremely difficult to control. It should be just enough to control convulsions. Once overdose, Zhao will fall into dangerous excessive lethargy. In the middle, the life center is suppressed.

As agreed in advance, Ernst called Ellen as quickly as possible.Here, only he has ever dealt with a similar situation.

In the ward, the wooden bed frame made an ear-piercing "creaking" sound because of Zhao's struggle, and the occasional stainless steel and glass medical instruments collided with each other, making a slight "listening" sound, and no one spoke. I am afraid that the voice will reveal my tension and fear, which will be transmitted and affected to others.We only use our eyes to search and observe, but we dare not communicate with our eyes. We avoid them intentionally or unintentionally, and we can no longer put pressure on the other party, especially at this moment.

I saw Ellen bit her lip tightly while taking the intravenous injection of pentobarbital sodium, and the hand holding the syringe kept trembling...

It was just too hard, and I knew it wasn't Ellen's fault, anyone's fault.

"no no!"

Zhao's body relaxed, and as the convulsion disappeared, Zhao's breathing also disappeared, as well as his heartbeat, his life...

I was almost devastated, and without Ellen, it would have been over at that point.

for me.Zhao is not a patient, not even an ordinary friend or family member. I have placed too much emotion on him, and these emotions have now become my burden, which prevents me from being objective, calm, and decisive.This is why I made mistakes again and again during Zhao's treatment.

For Ernst.Zhao is my beloved. Because of my love, I have power over Zhao over others and the right to decide Zhao's fate.Ernst was my friend, a faithful friend, whom I could count on if I needed, and who I could trust completely, including about Zhao.Of course, Ernst cannot be exacted. He and I have never faced such a serious and complicated illness. Under normal circumstances, we would have given up long ago.

For Ellen.Ellen is a trained physician with ten years of clinical experience.He also has feelings for Zhao, which are respect, responsibility, and benevolence.Zhao was his friend and patient. In the concentration camp, the role of doctor distinguished him from other prisoners, and earned him respect as before.In the face of patients, he always showed the professional calmness, objectivity and persistence of a doctor.

The rescue lasted for more than an hour, and Zhao finally recovered.This time, I was of little help, but I realized that my emotions still play a key role here.So, I decided that from now on, no matter how Zhao's condition develops, is it good or bad?Regardless of my true mood, hopeful or depressed and remorseful?I will always show optimism and persistence as always, and I will never admit defeat until the last moment.