father - home

It has been three days and Yu has not come back. I have to believe what Zhao said: Yu'er is gone!

"Yuzhen will listen to you? How did you convince her?"

"It's not persuasion, it's out of anger... Now that I think about it, I feel that those words are too hurtful... I told her that I am grateful for everything she has done for me, but I will never give her what she wants. I don't want her For making such a sacrifice for me, I never want to owe her, including her, anyone in my life."

"What did Yu say?"

"Yu'er said: 'You don't want to owe me, but you want to owe Mathias?'

'Yes! ' I yelled at her, 'That's it!Don't meddle anymore, you can't get in between us.you go!Let's go back!Get out of my business. '

'I don't want to be in your midst!But don't you want to be free?Don't want to go back home? '

'Go back to China?Do you think it is possible?With a body like mine, what can I do when I go back?What is the difference between my current life and complete freedom?I am here, I will get the best care, very safe, very comfortable, you should be happy for me, Yu'er! '"

"You are cruel!" I said.

The cruelty was towards that lovely girl, and even more so towards Zhao himself.I seemed to see the girl's beautiful big eyes filled with tears, trying not to shed; Zhao, on his cold and pale face, the corners of his mouth twitched uncontrollably.

"No way. Marty, you don't understand. For Chinese women, chastity is more important than life. Of course, it must be very enlightened for Yu'er's parents to send her to study in Germany, but she still lives and grows in a Pure Chinese family, she has to go back to China, she still has her own life, I can't harm her."

"In my opinion, Yu will not be easily fooled by you. She is not an ordinary girl."

"Yes, Yu'er does not have any woman's shortcomings. Because of this, she is more different and more attractive. If I could, I would definitely fall in love with her...but," Zhao glanced at me with affection , shyness, these things that stir my heartstrings are covered by sadness at the moment.And that grief made my heart tremble. "I had to hurt her, hurt her heart. If I can exchange for a chance, let her give herself a chance, undisturbed and calmly consider for a period of time, whether her sacrifice is worth it, that is also good .”

I nod. "If Yu really doesn't come back, what will you do?"

"I don't know." Zhao smiled wryly and shook his head. After a long silence, he said again, "I'm sorry. I didn't discuss it with you. This matter not only concerns me, but also involves you. It's just me..."

"It's okay. You don't have to worry about me." I really don't worry about myself, what I worry about is Zhao.Those once clear and bright black eyes are now always troubled by fatigue, sadness, contradictions and pains, and have become dim, melancholy and unfathomable.

I scooped up a tablespoon of rice porridge and brought it to Zhao's mouth. "Eat a little, Zhao. It will cool down after a while, and your stomach will feel uncomfortable."

Zhao raised his eyelids, a tired and guilty smile appeared in his bloodshot eyes.When Zhao swallowed the porridge, I couldn't help becoming nervous.

The rice sent from France arrived at the post office in the town yesterday. In the morning, my mother asked Wedec to pick it up.As soon as I got it, I couldn't wait to let Mrs. Reininger cook the porridge.However, among all of us, none of us know how much rice to put in, how much water to add, and how much to boil.Because let alone eat it, we have never even seen rice porridge, nor can we cook rice.If only Yu was still there.I tried to ask Zhao, but didn't hold out much hope.Sure enough, as I expected, he just lay quietly, raised his eyelids slightly and smiled when he heard my cry, and had no other reaction other than that.I had to let Frau Reininger figure it out for herself.

Zhao has been in this state for two days.Now, the most difficult days seem to be over, but some symptoms will last for a long time, just like the sequelae of the freezing experiment such as feet pain, sluggishness, and body chills are still tormenting Zhao today, insomnia, anxiety, irritability, Discomfort, pain, and uncontrollable trembling of limbs haunted him relentlessly, preventing him from having a moment of peace, breathing, or sleeping soundly all night.

Zhao is always lying quietly, looking out of the window with his eyes open, or closing his eyes to rest.This is nothing like closing your eyes and resting your mind. This is suffering, patience, and struggle.Under the slightly closed, quivering eyelids, the eyeballs are rolling and the thoughts are rolling.The withdrawal reaction kept Zhao in a state of high excitement, anxiety, and irritability, so that sleep became a luxury.And Jade's departure - which we rarely talk about - will she return?It weighed on Zhao's heart like a big rock.

Looking back on the past, the reason why Zhao can persevere until today is because he always has a firm belief: one day he will be able to return to the motherland.But now, this belief has not only been shaken, it can even be said to have been abandoned and forgotten.In order to let Yu leave and to protect Yu's reputation, Zhao said those things against his will.But isn't it true to say those words?Can his body recover?He doesn't want to hurt an innocent girl, but if Yu really doesn't come back, it's impossible for him to be completely free, return home?Don't even think about it.Once the spiritual pillar collapsed, Zhao's life, which was once fresh and young, was like a sapling without sunshine, rain and dew, and quickly weakened, withered, and eventually died.

Zhao is withering and weakening.The wound on his upper abdomen has basically healed, but his body is so weak that he can barely get out of bed, get off the floor, or even take a few steps to the bathroom.He became thinner and silent, listless and confused, indifferent to external things, and lost hope for the future.

The porridge was cooked, sticky and had a faint burnt smell.Mrs. Reininger tried to throw away the porridge in frustration, but her mother told her to slow down and brought a bowl.I took the porridge, looked at each other with my mother, and understood her intentions.

Zhao took a mouthful of porridge, expressionless, and did not speak.

"Is it okay? It's a little mushy, and it's a pity to throw it away. Look, if you don't like it, don't eat it and ask Mrs. Reininger to make it again."

Zhao smiled faintly, and took another bite.Now his smile has almost become an instinctive reaction, which makes people feel distressed.

"How about the thickness? Should it be thicker or thinner?"

Zhao still didn't respond, as if he was only concentrating on drinking the porridge.It would be great if he could really drink the whole bowl of porridge.Zhao ate less and less, and had no appetite at all. He just ate a little to keep me from worrying.Most of the food I ate would be vomited out again. To make matters worse, Zhao began to have diarrhea, which is also one of the symptoms of withdrawal reactions. In addition, the food was too greasy, and antidiarrheal drugs were used, but it didn't help.

"You want to eat pork liver porridge. Mrs. Reininger has already made an agreement with the butcher in the town. Tomorrow the butcher kills the pig and will send the pork liver."

"Do not bother."

Zhao finally spoke, and I was overjoyed. "It's not troublesome. It's just that I haven't done it before. It's the first time I do it. It won't be delicious... Zhao, can you do it?"

no answer.

"You will, I know. Well, when we do it tomorrow, I will push you down and we will do it ourselves."

Zhao looked up at me, with a wry smile on his lips, as if asking: Is this possible?

"You've been here for almost half a month, haven't you gone out yet? You haven't seen the manor, so you should go for a walk..."

As if protesting my suggestion, Zhao frowned before I finished speaking, and vomited all the porridge I just ate.

I packed up my things and took them to the kitchen.When I came back, I saw Zhao fainted on the ground...

Maybe call Jade back?

no!I can no longer assert myself.

Then have a good talk with Zhao.

I've been wanting to talk, but can't.

Then we have to think of a way, we can't let him go on like this!He really will die!