father - home

In fact, I don't need to go home, and I don't want to go home at all.In Qiu's office, I called home and told my mother to prepare a guest room, and I would pick Zhao up from the hospital the morning after tomorrow.

If I don't say anything about me, my mother won't take the initiative to ask.In order to guarantee Zhao last time, when I got the key to the bank safe from my mother, I already told her roughly about Zhao, so she was mentally prepared to take Zhao back to the manor to recuperate.

I come to the street.It was time to get off work, and there were many pedestrians on the road, all hurrying home.Some people stopped by the newsstands, picked up the newly published papers, eager to see what was in the news.There are too many good news these days, one after another, but I am not interested at all. Denmark surrendered, Norway fell, the Allied forces were defeated... These brilliant victories have nothing to do with me.I have seen so much death and carnage without being on the battlefield, I curse the war, I despise the victories.

I continued walking, and put the hand that Akira had stroked through the opening of the shirt, and pressed it tightly to my chest.Every now and then, I bring that hand to my lips, feeling its warmth and fragrance.

For me, only Akira is important.I wish him a speedy recovery and wish him a speedy return home.Going home, I shudder when I think of that war-torn country, that land soaked in blood and suffering.

Before, I only had one simple idea, which was to help Zhao get free and fulfill his wish to go home.But now, Akira is free, just not going home until he proves his sexuality is normal.

Because of this, I have been fighting fiercely for several days.In my mind, there is always a voice: Why do I need to prove it?Isn't it good as it is now?Zhao can live in the manor for a lifetime, safe and comfortable, you can see him, touch him, kiss him, love him at any time, he will not be hurt again, will not be hurt, will not be in danger, and you will not lose him .

Am I really not going to lose him?Another voice countered that it was never what he wanted.I don't know, if I really do that, will I only keep people, but lose my heart?

What about you?Send him into another person's arms with your own hands?You know that he doesn't love her, and it's impossible to love her.Leaving aside yourself, is this fair to Zhao?You know that he loves you, so aren't you betraying him by doing this?You are just flaunting your great love, and driven by this kind of vanity, you are doing things that make both of you miserable.

what should I do?What do you say I should do?I alienate Zhao, I let him be with Zhen Yu, what do I hope?Do I really want them to be in love?Oh God, I can only hope that they love each other, I have no other choice, because it will be sooner or later, because I know Yu really loves Zhao, because I know how hard it is for Zhao.I am in pain, really in pain, because I know that it is not only me who is in pain, but also Zhao.

I was so overwhelmed that I was about to collapse.I can only say to myself over and over again: You swore it!You swore!This works for us Germans because we were brought up with the idea that loyalty is your honor!

I walked into Augustiner's restaurant.No matter what, I still have to eat, not to mention I have to find a way to pass the time.

The Augustiner restaurant was built in 1824 and has a history of more than 100 years.My family has been regulars here for generations.Maybe it's because the name happened to be the same, and my mother liked it even more. Every time I came to Munich, my mother would eat here.

It was still early, and there were not many customers in the restaurant. It was close to the garden, and the seat by the window was still vacant. It was reserved by the boss for important guests. We sat there every time we came, and I walked straight over.

"Yeah...sorry...sir...you can't sit there." The waiter who tried to dissuade me was young and new to me, unknown to me.Maybe because of my uniform, he was very timid when he spoke.

"Then where should I sit?" Originally, it didn't matter where I sat, I just wanted to find a secluded place.But as soon as the words came out, no matter the tone or the voice, it was blunt and hoarse. I was startled, coughed unnaturally, and cleared my throat.

The waiter even trembled involuntarily. "Yes...sorry...sir..."

There were not many people in the restaurant, and the boss ran over quickly when he noticed something was wrong.Seeing that it was me, a warm smile appeared on that chubby red face. "Ah, Mathias, oh no, Baron, I didn't expect you. How is the Baroness?"

"Good! She's fine! Mr. Kroger." Controlling emotions has never been my strong point.I forced a faint smile and shook hands with the boss lightly.

Mr. Kroger, the boss, is short and fat, with graying hair and a bald head, a round beer belly, bigger than the last time I saw him, and his black coat can no longer be buttoned.He was one of my mother's admirers and watched me grow up.When I was a child, every time he came, he would hug me, but he stopped hugging me later, but he still called me Mathias all the time, and now sometimes he still can't change his words.

When old acquaintances meet, greetings and politeness are indispensable.Condolences on the passing of my father and please let me pass on my respects to my mother.Speaking of mother, Mr. Kroger's round eyes glistened with tears.Although, with many years of professionalism, Mr. Kroger always treats guests with a smile and warm and thoughtful attitude, but I think his feelings for his mother are from the heart and sincere.

Outside the window is the garden of the restaurant, which is elegant, tidy and full of flowers.In the evening of spring, it is a romantic and pleasant thing to sit there and dine in the warm air with faint fragrance.But it's too noisy there, I don't like it.I still choose to sit in the house, in a secluded corner by the window, unobtrusive.

"Sir, your wine." The waiter brought a bottle of fine champagne.

I looked at him, puzzled. "I didn't ask for champagne?"

"It's for you," Mr. Kroger, who came over later, said with a smile, "There is not much champagne left in the store, and the last few bottles are only for the most distinguished guests."

"But I have nothing to celebrate."

"Of course there are things to celebrate, my child." Mr. Kroger said while opening the champagne, "To be able to drink a sip of champagne these days is something worth celebrating in itself."

"Thank you, Mr. Kroger. How dare you do that."

"Nothing, boy. Come, let's toast your mother!"

Originally, I had long given up any extravagant hopes for dining in restaurants. Margarine, instead of coffee, either had a mushy taste or tasted like wax, just to fill my stomach, but now, the mellow and sweet champagne makes everything better .The lilac flowers under the window sill are fragrant, and the amber wine makes people feel ecstatic.

While I was slowly sipping fine wine and enjoying this rare peace, many guests came to the restaurant one after another, and eventually they were all crowded, even the garden.Today is not the weekend, why... I called the waiter and asked.

The waiter was very attentive, but still gave me a strange look. "Don't you know? Commander, these days, there are a lot of guests every day, and everyone is waiting for new good news."

"Oh, that's it." I should have thought that when people meet a happy event, they always hope to have someone to celebrate with, so today...

As if to answer my question, at this moment the loudspeaker suddenly clicked and buzzed, followed by a very clear and decisive broadcast: "There will be very important news in a few minutes, please Listen carefully!"

The whole city, almost every restaurant, every bar, every house, every speaker is playing the same content.Pedestrians on the road stopped to listen, and the diners who were devouring food in the garden also stopped eating, and there was an excited whisper in the elegant restaurant.

The chatter in the garden and hall grew louder.Everyone's eyes were shining, their hands were dancing, they were arguing with each other, laughing, beating the table, and shouting for wine from all directions.A few verses of Wagner played on the radio, and the noise gradually died down.

"Important news!"

Except for the occasional crash of tableware, the entire restaurant was silent.

The loudspeaker suddenly clicked, and then a solemn baritone said: "The Supreme Command of the Führer announced the surrender of the Netherlands."

The whole restaurant applauded and cheered.The women stood up and danced, and the men shook hands, hugged and kissed each other.Wagner was blaring on the loudspeaker, then "Germany First," "Horst Wieser," and everyone in the restaurant, including those in the garden, stood up except me.

All the soldiers, and most of the men and women, stretched out their arms and chanted, "Long live the Führer!" Most of the restaurant sang, saluted, and there was a very incongruous, vulgar, Singing with the drunken National Socialist party anthem.All this can't help but make my hair stand on end.

"Boss, champagne, bring champagne quickly." In the garden, under the window sill, an excited and violent voice called.

"I'm sorry, sir, but the champagne is out."

"No? Then what is he drinking?" The Wehrmacht captain pointed at me and asked the waiter.

"It was the officer who came early."

"Why does he have it, but we don't? You know, we are the ones who went forward for the country, shed blood and died for the country. You are insulting our national defense force."

"No, sir, that's the last bottle."

"I don't believe it, call your boss."

The rowdy Wehrmacht captain began shoving the young waiter, dragging him to see his boss.

I shouldn't have stood up, but the scene just now made me so irritated, and with the effect of champagne, I felt blood rushing up, and I jumped up, rushed out of the room, and grabbed the captain's wrist. "Enough, please show some respect."

"Respect who? You? You've finally stood up. If you weren't wearing this black skin, I'd think you were a disgruntled, traitor to the country."

"What? You are so brave, be careful when you speak."

"Be careful? So what if I just said it? You cowards in black leather, cowards, you will only hide here and do bad things. The reputation of our national defense force has been tarnished by you."

What the captain said angered not only me, but also a group of SS soldiers who came to eat.Although they were quite dissatisfied with my performance just now, they had already stared at me more than once, but no matter what, the captain scolded "you guys in black leather", so they also rushed out of the room and surrounded me. The captain asked questions, and in the garden, there were more Wehrmacht troops...

Before the police arrived, the conflict was stopped by a colonel of the National Defense Forces. Although the gendarmerie was not alarmed and no one was put in confinement, the garden was destroyed. It was also broken, because the hand accidentally hit a wooden fence when swinging the fist, the fence broke, and the wood slices pierced into the flesh, bleeding profusely, and because of too much force, the arm was numb for a while.

It was getting late, some people went home, some people went to the bar and continued to party.

Facing a messy garden, I feel very guilty. "I'm sorry, Mr. Kroger."

"It's nothing."

"I thought, I'm responsible for the damage here."

"No! No! It's nothing, don't take it to heart." Mr. Kroger patted me on the shoulder, "In the future, there will be more difficult times. Son, go back early."

"But..." I wanted to insist, but Mr. Kroger had bowed his head and gone into the house.

I left Augustina's looking for another bar to continue drinking.But for some reason, every bar is singing:

You, you are in my heart,

You, you are in my soul...

……

Yeah yeah,

Yeah yeah!

You don't know that I have a deep love for you.

As soon as I heard the song, I wanted to run away, cry, and tremble with fear.