is crazy

It's the last month, and the note "Admitted to the top ten of the grade" is still posted on the table. The showy dance at the New Year's Day party is like a dream, fleeting, and the pressure of studying is overwhelming.

The table is full of various books and papers, and the used refills can be bundled into a pile. They have only one task every day-do the questions, do the questions, and do the questions.

Lin Lian will also feel lost and unable to keep going. When he looks up from the pile of books, the writing on the blackboard has not been wiped clean, and the PPT that the teacher showed in the last class is still on the big screen, and he will also be distracted. Think about life.

Dance practice really took up too much time. When others were studying, he was relaxing, so that in the monthly exam after New Year's Day, he just passed the grade No.12—one of them tied for No.12, Only two points away from No.10.

A bit regretful, but he doesn't regret it.

There are many opportunities to get good grades, but he is not a genius. The only time he has the opportunity to squeeze out his spare time to rehearse the program is the sophomore year of high school.

The weather is getting colder and colder, there is no heating in the classroom, and more and more people are catching a cold.The night before, he had flaunted to Jiang Cun on WeChat that "I have been strong since I was a child and seldom get sick", but something happened this morning.

That day, the Youth League committee asked the students to bring their membership certificates to pay the tour fee. Lin Lian asked for leave at night to go home, and fell asleep on the table in a daze. The next day, when he got up and searched through the box to find the membership certificates, he was almost late. I missed it and fell straight down.

The students are not the sun at six o'clock in the morning, but the moon at five or six o'clock in the morning.

It was still pitch black at 06:30 in the winter morning, Lin Lian was still confused, and suddenly fell down when his eyes went dark.

The moment the whole person was in the air, his mind was empty.

I wore it thickly, so I didn't get hurt very much, just a little bruised and scratched.

But the fall was so heavy that he lay on the ground trembling for a long time without getting up, and it took a long time before he slowly straightened up and sat on the ground to take a deep breath: "Fuck, how did the heroines in those TV dramas do it after falling down?" did you stand up?"

I limped to school, feeling dizzy and having a fever.

The whole morning seemed to be spent in a dream, so absurd that it was unreal, he could even see the teacher lecturing on the podium, but he couldn't understand a word.

Since posting that note, he never took a nap again, but his head hurt so badly that he was exhausted, so he just stuck a wet tissue on his forehead and slept under the quilt.

After four classes in the afternoon, Lin Lian really felt that his soul was going to drift away, and he skipped the evening self-study.

In the last month, Jiang Cun was busy with tutoring for this semester's literacy class. He took part in a study class outside the school, and had less communication with Lin Lian. The two were obviously in the same grade, but they were too busy to meet each other.He didn't know that Lin Lian was sick.

However, this was only the beginning of the nightmare.

Maybe he caught a cold during dance practice, or maybe his body couldn't support it because of too high-intensity study, Lin Lian was stretched to the limit like a tight rope, and then broke with a "snap".

Physical weakness cannot be ruled out by will alone.

For the next week, Lin Lian could not speak, his throat was dry and hoarse, and it hurt like being cut by a razor blade even if he breathed a little bit. Drinking warm water and taking throat lozenges did not help; the cold was so severe that he could only breathe through his mouth , The nose can't breathe, and every time I blow my nose, I can see bright red bloodshot eyes.

When I woke up in the morning, I was top-heavy, my head was spinning, and I hit the cabinet and railing several times, and my expression was in a trance.

It was too difficult to breathe, and I couldn't sleep at night. After I finally fell asleep, I didn't know why I woke up. I stayed alone in the dormitory with a dark light and tried to wipe my nose with a paper, but found that there was liquid dripping on my hands.

Nosebleed.

It was like this for three days in a row.

I am taking capsules, granules and tablets on time every day. I have not studied as intensively as before. Why is my illness still not good?

When I lay back on the bed to sleep, my nasal cavity was filled with a sticky and bloody feeling, which was very uncomfortable.

When he was flushing his nosebleed in front of the sink by a small lamp, he suddenly felt very lonely.

For 17 years, he spends a lot of time alone, but he has never felt such a strong sense of loneliness.

Lin Lian's emotions were complicated.

He doesn't know when he will be cured, when Jiang Cun will come to find him, whether he still has the confidence to get into the top ten in his grade, and whether the vow in his heart is a childish appearance of a sophomore.

He was always hypocritical at night, and he also wanted to cry hysterically to vent his emotions, but he couldn't even shed a tear from the corner of his eyes.

He sat on the bed, stared blankly at the empty bedroom, and stayed up all night.

He didn't expect his endurance to become so weak all of a sudden, all he could think about was Jiang Cun, he wanted to see him standing in front of him, hugging him, wanting to pinch his face and talk to him.

This state lasted for a whole week, and Lin Lian's mind seemed to be filled with mud, not knowing how he spent these few days in a daze.

The battery of the phone has long been dead, and there are a lot of Jiang Cun's unread messages and missed calls lying in the phone, but he doesn't know it at all.

The schedule of the study class is fully closed. It was not until Saturday afternoon that Jiang Cun had the opportunity to return to school. He happened to hear a class teacher calling Lin Lian's parents.He tried asking for leave and fleeing, but all failed, and he was absent-minded in tutoring.

"Hi, is this Lin Lian's father? I'm his teacher, he's at school... oh... ok, you're busy, I'll call back later... ok, goodbye."

"Hello, is this Lin Lian's mother? That's right, I'm his teacher. He has caught a severe cold for the past few days, but...he has taken his medicine and is taking it on time, but he just doesn't listen to what the teacher says... Well, I'll let him call later."

The head teacher of class one is a young female teacher named Yin Huaige. She came to lead the Qingbei class for two terms just after graduation, but because of her age, she was always considered "unreliable" by the parents, and she was also unreliable when handling certain matters. It always seems a little weak and powerless.

Or maybe it is because she is relatively young, so she can understand the children's thinking, and she is also one of the most popular teachers.The most prominent feature is not this, but her gentleness and sincerity. When she talks to people, she will definitely look into other people's eyes seriously, and give her most sincere advice without perfunctory.

Everyone who talked to her felt that they had never seen such a pair of beautiful eyes, like a pool of spring water, rippling and rippling, which only made people feel relaxed and comfortable.

Probably because of this, Jiang Cun, who has always had a deep sense of fear of the teacher, walked into the office and asked what happened.

Even though the role of parents seems to have never appeared in his life, but from what the teacher said just now, Lin Lian's parents don't seem to care about him.

Could an adult who truly loves children be so indifferent after hearing that the child is sick?What's more, they don't see each other several times a year, right?Don't worry about your children at all?Are you destined to be ignored because you are too good?

Dazed for a while, Jiang Cun clenched his fists before trying to prevent himself from falling into negative emotions of cynicism.

Teacher Yin seemed a little helpless, rubbed his temples, and cleared up the ins and outs for him: "This kid is so stubborn, no matter how much you persuade him, he refuses to go to the hospital. How can he learn well in this state?"

"Teacher, I'm an art student, and I have plenty of time." Jiang Cun stared at the ground, not daring to look into Teacher Yin's eyes. "I'll go and persuade him. Besides, Lin Lian is familiar with me."

"There is more time" is naturally made up by him to coax the teacher. He is so tired of painting every day that he can fall asleep standing up. Lin Lian together.

"Come on. I'm sorry to trouble you." I don't know if there was some pun, she smiled and patted Jiang Cun on the shoulder, and walked out of the office with a book.

And when this sentence reached the ears of the students, it had become "Lin Lian only wants Jiang Cun to comfort him alone", the whole grade yelled ambiguously, and each class came out with "wow" in different tones .

High profile again in a strange way.

At this time, school was over, and everyone in the classroom had left, only Lin Lian was left lying powerlessly on the table, his eyes blurred and empty.

That oppressive feeling flooded my heart again.

Jiang Cun felt very uncomfortable. Brother Lian in his imagination should not be like this.

He should always appear on the basketball court with a smile on his face, he should say "Brother Lian is number one in the world" arrogantly, he should sit with his back straight in the classroom and accept the eyes of the girls, instead of being like this, because of his In just one sentence, I squeezed out time to dance, studied like my life, and was so sick that I couldn't even straighten my waist.

Shouldn't his life be tied to mine?

"Jiang Cun?"

I don't know when Lin Lian raised his head and saw Jiang Cun who was staring at him. He was pleasantly surprised and popped out two words hoarsely.

"Brother Lian, stop talking, I'm listening, it hurts. Go to the hospital, you..."

"It hurts, it hurts! I miss you so much! I've had a fucking week! I feel like I'm going to die!"

The voice is ugly and hoarse, like the mouth of a person whose life has come to an end.And he doesn't speak much anymore, his throat hurts too much, every time he speaks a word, his throat hurts like being filled with caustic soda.

He uttered these words almost like a roar, and he didn't even have the strength to stand up. The moment he saw Jiang Cun, his tears burst into tears, as if he wanted to wash away all the inexplicable grievances since his illness.

Lin Lian has never cried in front of others since he was a little sensible. Even if he is uncomfortable, wronged, or lost, it seems that he has lost the function of crying, and he cannot squeeze a tear; but in front of Jiang Cun, he is like a child who makes trouble for no reason. He can hug himself, he can kiss himself, and he can give him courage and strength.

Jiang Cun couldn't comfort him, and it was extremely difficult for him to comfort himself.

Lin Lian also didn't realize how difficult Jiang Cun's life was, and didn't understand how courageous every time he smiled.

"I miss you too, really, I'm afraid you're gone, but I can't even get in touch with you."

Jiang Cun sat beside him, his voice very soft.Many times he would speak in such a low volume, as if he was only speaking to Lin Lian alone, every word and every word seemed extremely sincere.

Teacher Yin walked in suddenly, and handed the mobile phone next to Lin Lian's ear to Lin Lian: "Lin Lian, your mother is calling."

Lin Lian tilted his head, raised a pale and sarcastic smile, and even felt that his throat had started to ooze blood: "Mr. Yin, did you tell her that my throat is broken?"

A trace of embarrassment flashed across her face, and she looked at her favorite student distressedly; he stood up and wanted to take the phone, but his eyes went dark, and suddenly felt that all the strength was taken from his body, and he staggered and fell down.

He didn't eat at noon, he forgot to recharge his meal card, and he didn't have the strength to walk to the cafeteria, so he slept on the table all afternoon.

Jiang Cun's heart twitched, wishing he could let this disease happen to him, he took out the regular candy from his pocket, stuffed one into Lin Lian's mouth, carried him on his back and walked out of the school.

In order to have more time to paint, he hasn’t eaten dinner since the beginning of high school, and when he was hungry, he would rely on a few candies to support himself; during the beginning of school, Lin Lian was with him, and the vendors at the school gate tasted it all. I gradually developed the habit of eating dinner, but I still put a few candies in my coat pocket every morning when I go out.

Sugar is sweet, if it can bring you more sweetness, it’s enough. I hope you will be happy all your life, free from disease and disaster, so you really don’t need to work so hard because of my impulse.

It doesn't matter if you say I'm self-indulgent or wishful thinking, I'm stupid and I won't refute you, but I don't care about everything in the world, I only care about you, and I don't want you to be sad.

I'm just sorry, I don't seem to be able to explain myself clearly to you, I'm not strong enough, I don't have courage, I have been holding you back all this time, and I want you to turn around and wait for me with a smile.

"Teacher, I'll take him to the hospital."

Jiang Cun held Lin Lian's hand tightly, he leaned on his shoulder, and his breathing gradually became even.

Cold sweat was breaking out in his heart, and he murmured silently "drive faster, drive faster", and the driver in the driver's seat played a sad love song, and he suddenly chuckled.

Do you think we are like a couple rushing to die for love?

"Brother Lian, you need to get well soon, I have a lot of things I want to tell you."

Interlocking her fingers, Lin Lian seemed to clenched her hands a little bit. In her dream, she didn't know what she dreamed of, so she frowned and said "hmm".