i'm not a phoenix

After scrubbing, he quietly breathed a sigh of relief.He was leaning against the head of the bed, and the pillow was crooked. I reached out to help him straighten it, but he slapped my hand off extremely loudly.

The crisp voice echoed in the room, I looked at him in astonishment, his eyes were full of vigilance.It is undeniable that he has been rejecting me since he lost his memory, especially the hard slap just now, like choking me by the neck and throwing me out of his world-constantly pushing me away, pushing me away, we further and further.

I am silent.

...How could he just forget about those seven years about me?

"The pillow is crooked. Move the pillow, otherwise it will be uncomfortable after sitting for a long time." I sighed and didn't say anything more.

He froze for a moment, looked back, and straightened the pillow in embarrassment, while I watched quietly.

He noticed the change in me—maybe I was too sad, he opened his mouth to say something, but couldn't.

I went to the bathroom to take a shower, then sat on the sofa opposite the bed and turned on the computer to start processing the accumulated affairs.

The room was so quiet that one could hear each other's breathing.

I could feel his constant gaze on me.I can imagine that he must be showing that puppy-like annoyance again, waiting for his master to come and stroke his sagging head before he can regain his vitality.

I can go to comfort him now, tell him that I am not angry, and then he will get along with me as proudly and awkwardly as before.

But I don't want to.

I'm not angry, but sad for his change after amnesia: he resisted me.

But because of his transformation, I realized that since we got married, he has been actively communicating with me.Now that he's turned me down, I don't know how to coax him back—even if I can talk in business.

This realization made me even sadder.As his husband, I don't qualify.I became a good businessman, but I didn't learn how to be a good husband.

I need a little time to reflect on my shortcomings. Perhaps, his car accident is a hint from God——I don’t know how to love him.

I racked my brains to think about how we got along.

On the first day he chased me, I directly expressed that I didn't like his kind of dude.He immediately changed his outfit that day and dyed his hair black.At that time, I only thought it was a 3-minute enthusiasm from a rich family, and I was very indifferent to his various overtures.

...He has been chasing me like this for two years.I'm not cold-blooded, just a little unresponsive.I should have liked him a long time ago, he looks willful and reckless, but in fact he is free, warm, straightforward and simple, his liking is unquestionable sincerity.Chased by this kind of bright love, for me who was withdrawn since I was a child, it was impossible to refuse.

I like him so much.I want to work hard to be worthy of his identity, and I want to work hard to give him a good life with my own ability.But these years, I have become more and more busy, and I have become more and more indifferent to him——I realized that I haven't chatted with him for a long time.

... I seem to know my mistakes, but I can't know exactly what mistakes I made.

I thought that Wanwan and Zhang Jun were childhood friends, and Zhang Jun should know something.So I sent a WeChat message to Zhang Jun.

I am here?

Zhang Jun: Brother Song, what's the matter?

Me: I want to ask, what is wrong with me in Wanwan's heart.

Zhang Jun: Haha... There is nothing wrong with it, Brother Song, you are absolutely perfect in Brother Wan's heart! ! !

Me: ...To be honest, I am asking very seriously.Wanwan is sad sometimes, but she never tells me.

Zhang Jun: Uh...

Zhang Jun: Brother Wan really likes you, and he never told me anything bad about you.Once, wasn’t it your wedding anniversary, you had a quick meal with him and then went back to the company, he went to my house to find me and drank most of the night, the more he drank, the more sad he became.He said, after you married him, you became busier and busier. He knew that you were naturally dull and incomprehensible, but you were busy with work and became more and more indifferent to him. I don't like it... Brother Wan's eyes turned red when he said that.He was drunk, and I sent him home, only to find out that you haven't come back... Well, how should I put it, Brother Song, you should care more about Brother Wan...

When I saw this, my heart ached.How could I not like him... I stayed in this city for Wanwan; I took over Li's company because I knew he liked freedom and could do what he liked; Those who reposted proved that Li Wan made the right choice.

But I seem to have done something wrong... I was busy with work, so Wanwan thought it was an excuse to throw it away when I was done with him—Wanwan thought I didn't love him.

I remember his flamboyant personality. When he was chasing me, he knew that I didn’t like him going to those messy places, so he reduced a lot of social activities, and he seldom went to play after he got married. That’s why he wanted to open a coffee shop. Kill time.

When I was just married, I still had time to pick him up at the cafe after get off work. He was like a fox waiting for the prince, and he jumped on me when he saw me.But less than a year later, the company I set up privately was just getting started, and there were a lot of problems to deal with, and then it was on the right track, and I had to seriously plan for future development plans—in short, every time period, I seem to be very busy.

On the anniversary of the first year, I spent it happily with him.But I didn't spend all the anniversaries with him for the next four years—these are indeed not very good memories, no wonder...he forgot.

My heart ached.He asked me before, and he said, "A Zhi, can you go home early?" How did I answer at that time... Oh, I said at the time: "Wanwan, I am very busy." I was so busy that I went home in the middle of the night , I was so busy that I took a rest directly at the company.Since then, he wisely never asked again... I really want to slap myself at that time!If I had noticed something was wrong with Li Wan at that time, if I had explained a little more, or told Li Wan the reason directly, would there not have been so many misunderstandings.

After five years of marriage, I didn't realize that Li Wan had become painfully silent because he misunderstood me.I'm so stupid!

Zhang Jun was a little panicked when he saw that I hadn't replied.

Zhang Jun: Brother Song!Don't worry!Brother Wan really likes you!Don't misunderstand what I said!

Me: I know.

me: thank you.

Zhang Jun: I wish 99, haha.

I didn't reply anymore, switched to the Baidu interface, and entered "what should a husband do to make his wife like it" in the search bar, and many answers popped up.

For example, you need to be considerate and caring to your wife; you need to know how to coax your wife when she is angry; you must have fun, such as creating romance for your wife from time to time, or going out on dates, which can promote mutual affection.