withered color

five years ago.

The wind in the late autumn night blew the shadows of the trees outside.

In the intensive care unit, a bunch of instruments were beeping very regularly. The values ​​on the instruments jumped up and down from time to time, and the respirator flickered on and off. The sound is hoarse, like oozing blood.

Xu Liangyun sat on the side, his back against the wall in a daze, and there were several vertical red bloodstains on both sides of his face, which were the traces of him kneeling in front of the ICU during the day, scratching his face and screaming.

There was a smell of medicine in the ICU.

Xu Liangyun raised his head and looked at Zhang Yan's hand.

His hands were already wrapped in bandages, like a mummy.

The surroundings were very quiet, but Xu Liangyun's ears were buzzing. The scenes in the live video were still lingering in front of his eyes, and the sound was still ringing in his ears.

Xu Liangyun's right hand on his leg suddenly grasped his leg tightly, and began to exert force, which made him tremble slightly, and his leg hurt from grasping.

He lowered his head deeply, most of his face was immersed in the darkness, and his eyes began to become dim.

Suddenly, there was a light click.

Xu Liangyun raised his head.

Zhong Tang came in from the outside, stepping on the ground with his shoes, making soft noises step by step.

"I can't find Ye Xia anymore." He walked up to Xu Liangyun and said, "The building is empty. I quit my job, my house is empty, and I didn't take my mobile phone or wallet... The one used for the live broadcast is her mobile phone. It was left at the scene and not taken away. There is nothing on him that can be used to locate the location."

Xu Liangyun's voice was hoarse and intermittent: "Isn't there some bank cards that can be used for positioning?"

"...She didn't take the wallet." Zhong Tang said, "I just finished."

"It's monitoring."

"I caught her in the photo, but lost it." Zhong Tang said, "It must have changed in some blind corner."

"...I can't find it after changing clothes."

Zhong Tang: "..."

After saying this, Xu Liangyun suddenly yelled in a hoarse voice without warning: "People are just so fucking human, if they change their clothes, they change their skin!!!! How can they not be found! ?! What are you eating!?!! I—”

Halfway through his yelling, his throat suddenly hurt, so his voice stopped abruptly, and he began to lower his body uncontrollably and cough violently.

Xu Liangyun coughed so hard that he could hardly breathe.

After coughing earth-shatteringly for a long time, he panted for a while and took a deep breath.

Zhong Tang had already run to his side, and silently patted his back to comfort him, without saying a word, but his eyes were very concerned and a little distressed.

When Xu Liangyun stopped coughing, he asked, "Have you recovered?"

He didn't ask "Are you okay" or "Are you okay", because he knew that Xu Liangyun was really not okay at all.

Xu Liangyun closed his eyes and remained silent for a long time, then shook his head.

After coughing for a long time, he also calmed down.

"...I'm sorry." He said, "I'm...a bit out of control right now."

"Normal." Zhong Tang patted his back and said, "It's normal, I knew you would have to yell at me."

Xu Liangyun didn't answer.

Zhong Tang didn't speak any more.

The night was quiet again.

After a long time, Xu Liangyun opened his mouth softly again.

"Why didn't you come and kill me." He asked, "Why didn't you arrest me, didn't you let my hand be disabled... Isn't it the one I killed?"

"The law of balance." Zhong Tang replied calmly, "Psychology calls this the law of balance - you killed her kidnapper boyfriend, we let her watch the live broadcast and make her powerless, she will make you do the same. In layman's terms Let’s talk, it’s to let you exchange in equal value.”

Xu Liangyun did not speak.

His mind was dizzy, and he couldn't understand Zhong Tang's words.

He just thought, yeah, the law of balance.

...the law of balance.

"Don't even think about it." Zhong Tang said, "Don't make excuses with psychopaths, it doesn't make any sense."

——Don't make excuses with psychopaths.

Xu Liangyun suddenly laughed.

He suddenly felt very funny.He has dealt with so many scenes before, met so many victims of criminals and innocent people, and said to others countless times "Don't make excuses for criminals, don't make mistakes for yourself", but when it's really his turn When it came to his head, he realized that this thing really couldn't be controlled.

Xu Liangyun couldn't help thinking, did I do something wrong.

Is it that I shouldn't have fired that shot, is it that I shouldn't have been a cop at all--if it wasn't for me, things wouldn't have turned out this way at all.

Statement weariness would not lie here.

What will he be doing at this time... he should be painting.

He will tie his hair into a little jiujiu, hold a palette, and there must be paint on his face accidentally, and there may be paint on his hands that is difficult to wash off, and he will probably complain that his hands are not clean again ...

……hand.

Xu Liangyun thought wildly, his eyes were red.

The instruments in the ICU were beeping.

After being silent for a long time in the beating sound of these cold numerical values ​​representing life, Xu Liangyun finally raised his head and looked at the unrecognizable statement on the hospital bed.

His voice was so hoarse that he couldn't speak, and his words were broken so that no one could hear them clearly.

He said softly: "I want to go home."

That morning, everything was still "home".

Xu Liangyun's voice was too hoarse, Zhong Tang couldn't hear clearly: "What?"

Xu Liangyun lowered his head, shook his head, and did not speak again.

Zhong Tang left later, and continued to work on the case.

Xu Liangyun sat there all night without closing his eyes.

He can't sleep.

Finally, when the sky broke in the early morning, Xu Liangyun stood up and walked to the side of Statement Yan.

He reached out to touch him.It can be stated that Xu Liangyun doesn't know where to touch so that he won't hurt him.

Xu Liangyun's hand hung in the air for a while, and finally went to stroke Chen Yan's hair.

Then he said an intangible sorry in a hoarse voice, put on his coat and left, and never returned for five years.

He went back to the bureau and received all the information on Ye Xia's case. Since then, he has not closed his eyes for three days. He has turned around in the bureau day and night, running around to investigate, and has not slept for three whole days, full of hatred and guilt. With self-blame and anger tearing his love apart, it became distorted, difficult to see directly, and difficult for himself to face.

So on the third day, when someone told him that he was tired of waking up, Xu Liangyun didn't go.

He wanted to go, but dared not go.

He didn't know how to face it, he couldn't face the statement boredom like before.

Thinking about it now, he didn't seem normal back then.

But he didn't notice it himself.

Xu Liangyun exhaled smoke, looked down at the bandage on his right wrist.

He just looked at his wrist absent-mindedly, and said: "When Ye Xia left the live video for the last time, she told me that she would wait for me at her place, waiting for me, and let me settle accounts with her."

"We checked Ye Xia for six days."

"I went to her workplace, to her home, to her friends, to everyone in her social circle, but I couldn't find her."

"The situation in Ye Xia's family is not good. She was born in a patriarchal family, and her parents are very patriarchal. She has been serving her brother since she was a child, and she has basically never received love. The family has always treated her as a nanny. Hurling and drinking, so when I grew up, I met Su Enyang and fell in love with him only after getting a piece of candy from him."

"All these things caused her to be paranoid, to indulge Su Enyang in every possible way, and to be extremely wary of outsiders...Of course, this cannot be a reason to exonerate her."

"Zhong Tang used mental calculations to deduce several places. They are all places related to her and Su Enyang, but none of them are right."

Xu Liangyun said: "We couldn't find her no matter how hard we searched... I felt like I went crazy for a few days, and I didn't sleep well."

He lowered his eyes, and his mind drifted back to five years ago.

Five years ago, in the special room of the SWAT team.

"How the hell can there be no such thing!?! Why not!?!!!"

Xu Liangyun's voice is still hoarse, but his temper is increasing day by day, and the degree of hoarseness is getting stronger every day when he shouts.

Every time he said a word, the shoulders of the people below trembled, worrying whether his voice, which looked like a broken radio that had been in disrepair for a long time, would be better to go to the hospital for a registration first.

Feel like scrapping.

This is especially true for Lin Ju, a female police officer who has just graduated from the SWAT team and has only been in the industry for more than half a year.She clasped her hands together behind her back and prayed silently, "Captain, it's true... I really took people to search for it, and the whole building was searched."

The place she went to was the place where Ye Xia and Su Enyang had their first date, a shopping mall in Liangcheng.

She led five special police officers to block off the shopping mall, and spent most of the day looking for it, but they couldn't find Ye Xia at all.

What's terrible is that this is the last location of Zhong Tang's psychological calculation.

There is no shadow of Ye Xia here, which means that they may have to start over.

Xu Liangyun was furious.

That was the sixth day of the accident.

Six days, six full days.

"It's been six fucking days, and I can't find someone!?!?!"

Xu Liangyun threw the heavy materials to the ground, already crushed by his emotions.

It was rare for Xu Liangyun to lose his temper like crazy. The entire SWAT team stood at attention, their backs were drenched in cold sweat, and no one dared to speak too much.

Everyone knows that he is very scary now, and he can no longer be described in the words "in a bad mood".

Xu Liangyun was angry and anxious, reached out to wipe his face, took a few deep breaths, trying to calm himself down.

He turned around and walked unsteadily inside.

After staying up for the past few days and nights, his steps are weak.

Suddenly, without warning, he lurched and slammed onto the table.

A group of people behind exclaimed: "Captain!!"

A group of people quickly surrounded him.

Lin Ju ran up to Xu Liangyun, and found that his head was covered in cold sweat, and he began to pant for no reason, his eyes were blank, and he didn't know what he was looking at.

"...Captain?" She called softly, "Are you alright?"

Xu Liangyun didn't answer her, and stared straight at the table, as if trying to see a hole in the table.

Lin Ju called him again: "Captain?"

Only then did Xu Liangyun come back to his senses.

He turned his head, his expression was completely different from before, it was filled with dazedness as if he had just woken up.

Lin Ju was also at a loss: "...Are you really okay, Captain?"

Only then did Xu Liangyun come to his senses, he hastily replied twice, then straightened up, wiped his face with his hand again, and fell silent.

"...Why don't you go to sleep?" Lin Ju was a little worried, "Didn't you sleep for the past few days? Just when your partner woke up a few days ago, you squinted for four hours..."

Xu Liangyun answered in a hoarse voice, "I can't sleep."

Lin Ju was speechless for a while.

"...Okay, you guys go first." He said, "You guys first... and then look for it."

"...But we have searched for them all." Lin Ju said, "We have searched for all the places Mr. Zhong deduced."

Xu Liangyun: "..."

He pursed his lips tightly, his eyelashes trembling slightly.

"...Let's look for it again," he said in a hoarse voice, "Let's look for it again."