smoke like fire

The news of his father's illness was exposed and gradually had an impact.Bearing the brunt of this is share price performance.The television in the waiting room was on all day, and the news was on the story all day.

A group of self-righteous celebrities talked about the future situation of the father's company, talked about personnel affairs, and talked about the family relationship that the father kept cutting off in private.Of course, it is inevitable to talk about the scandal between me and Zhao Kuanyi, which is still in its infancy.I watched silently in my chair, feeling as if I was talking about someone else's business.I also don't care what kind of eyes and associations people around here have when they see the news.

Ms. Xu kept silent all the time, as if those things had nothing to do with her.Xu Chengcheng didn't seem to be able to stand it any longer. He didn't care about others, so he turned off the TV.

Secretary Zhang picked up the phone again on the way.The phone didn't ring for a moment.

And Ms. Wu, a public relations officer, appeared again, and she told me that a reporter had come and was being stopped at the hospital entrance.None of this was said in front of Xu's mother and son.I am at a loss.Because it seems that I need to give instructions on the next step, but I don't know how to respond.I don't think I have a position either.

I still didn't say a word.

The operation ended at six o'clock in the evening.very successful.The doctor said that there will be no major problems when the father wakes up, and the next two days are critical, so the father was sent to the intensive care center for observation as soon as he came out of the recovery room.I moved with my father's hospital bed, and Ms. Xu and Xu Chengcheng followed.They walked next to the hospital bed all the way, all excited and deeply affectionate.Especially Ms. Xu, it seems that she can't wait to lower her body and cry for a while.

I was alone behind, feeling extremely numb, as if everything had nothing to do with me.A breathing tube was inserted into the father's mouth, and the whole head was covered with a layer of white gauze. There was a tube with red blood flowing from the left side, and there were some other tubes on his body... too weird.If you don't know for sure that it is your father, you simply don't know him.

When we arrived at the intensive care center, our group was stopped outside.After tidying up and being able to go in for a visit, Ms. Xu approached the hospital bed one step ahead, as if she was more anxious than I was.

She looked at her father and suddenly burst into tears.

I stood on the other side, not speaking.But there is a mood of watching with cold eyes.

Xu Chengcheng spoke instead: "Mom, don't be like this."

While weeping, Ms. Xu said, "I just can't stand it—a good person, why did he suddenly become like this."

Xu Chengcheng was silent, but seemed to glance at me.His mother was still sobbing.He took out a handkerchief, handed it over and said, "Okay, Mom, let's wipe your tears first."

Ms. Xu took the handkerchief, pressed the corners of her eyes slightly, and choked up again, but this time the tears did not fall.She reached out to touch her father's face and took his hand.Xu Chengcheng stretched out his hand and pressed his mother's shoulder.

I turned my eyes away, just as the phone rang, so I went out altogether.

Secretary Zhang, who had been talking on the phone outside, was probably puzzled when he saw me coming out, as if he was about to walk over, so I shook the phone I was holding and walked to the other end of the aisle where there was no one there.

It was Zhao Kuanyi who called.On the other end, he asked, "How is it now?"

When I heard his voice at this moment, I was suddenly in a trance.It feels like it's been a long time since I heard it again.Only then did I realize that my heart has been carrying it.Now let it go immediately.

I couldn't speak for a moment, leaned back against the wall, and said after a while: "The operation is over, and I will be sent to the intensive care center for observation. Are you...at the airport?"

Zhao Kuanyi said: "I'm on my way back." After a moment of silence, he suddenly said: "Or I'll go to your place."

I startled.Feeling a little excited suddenly, want to say yes, but calm down all of a sudden.I refused: "No—" Afraid that his tone would be too cold, if he wanted to be upset, he explained: "I have to leave later, the intensive care center can't keep people. I..."

"I know." Zhao Kuanyi said: "I'm just—" After a pause, he said: "We can talk about it when you come back."

I had to answer yes, and I didn't say anything on the other side.But no one wanted to hang up the phone.I was reluctant to cut off the phone, although I could see him immediately when I got back.

Finally I said: "I still have to wait for the doctor to come."

Zhao Kuanyi said: "Well, you can go."

Before returning to the intensive care center, Secretary Zhang had finished the call.At this time, there were two men in suits standing next to him, both of age.One of them, I am no stranger to.He is an old friend of his father for many years and a partner in his previous career.I call him Uncle Chen.Although he retired more than two years ago, he is still a director of his father's company.

Seeing me, the three of them stopped talking.The other nodded to me, and Uncle Chen took a step forward.He patted me on the shoulder.

"Thanks a lot."

I just said: "I asked you to come here specially, but you can't go in and visit."

Uncle Chen said: "It doesn't matter, I'm half relieved knowing that the operation was successful." He patted me on the shoulder again.He introduced another one to me, "This is also a director of the company, surnamed Lin."

The director surnamed Lin nodded to me and said, "Actually, we have seen it on some occasions."

I looked at him carefully, and I was a little impressed.I shook his hand and said, "Sorry, I didn't remember. Hello."

The director surnamed Lin smiled and glanced at Uncle Chen.

Uncle Chen then said: "I came here today, I mainly want to tell you about the current situation of the company."

I couldn't help being taken aback.

Uncle Chen said again: "Have you read the news today? The news about your father's illness has already spread."

I nodded silently.

Uncle Chen said: "This is a fact, and there is nothing to say. It was originally for your father's recuperation, so it was not announced to the public, but it was spread out unexpectedly. Today's closing price closed down, and the company's stock price dropped by nearly [-]% compared to yesterday."

I don't know how to react.I have never been in my father's company because of or should not have told me about it.However, the stock price has fallen so much, I really have to feel surprised.The father collapsed without warning, and the news broadcast for one day, the shareholders must be worried, but it will not be so bad in one day.

I asked: "How come?"

Uncle Chen said: "Before the market closed, someone reported to the media the problem of unclear accounts of overseas companies. In fact, this matter cannot be said to be serious. It mainly has personnel difficulties. Your father has been thinking about how to deal with it better, isn't it? No matter, the news said that your father allowed the problem to expand... Until just now, several of our directors were in a meeting, and some directors no longer tend to support your father."

I do not speak.

Uncle Chen suddenly said: "Have you met General Manager Cao? Did your father mention it to you? He is your aunt's son."

I was stunned, and couldn't help looking at Secretary Zhang who was always silent.He nodded.

Seeing my reaction, Uncle Chen said again: "I also guessed that you didn't know. Your father didn't mention it to you? But maybe you know that in the early years when your father started a business, he and your uncle and aunt were a little unhappy. Later, the relationship became less rigid. , your father has a heart, let their children enter the company, no matter whether they are promoted or promoted, they have never treated them badly, but the only one who is more competitive is General Manager Cao."

It's no wonder that my father has so many trusted subordinates. The two times he was hospitalized, the man surnamed Cao was by his side.He didn't introduce himself to me.I was at a loss for ideas.

The director surnamed Lin said at this time: "Some directors are now standing with General Manager Cao. But most of them, such as Lao Chen and me and some people, still support your father, but—in short, the current The situation cannot be without someone to come out and preside over it.”

I didn't speak, but I suddenly had a premonition in my heart.

Sure enough, Uncle Chen continued: "This is your father's company. No matter what, it should not be given to outsiders. Everyone still has this consensus in their hearts. When you join the company at this time, everyone will never speak."

I remain silent.What else can we do?

Uncle Chen stopped talking.He seemed to have glanced at the two people next to him, and then motioned for me to follow him to the other end of the aisle.

"Uncle, let me tell you a few words." Uncle Chen said in the unoccupied aisle, as if he was speaking earnestly: "At this time, I can only openly say that your father did not do well in the family, and it was not right. There is nothing wrong with you blaming him, but he is always your father."

He continued: "If there are, I shouldn't say it, but you must know that no matter what, he can't care about you in his heart. You are the eldest son, of course he expects a lot, and he will inevitably be strict. But you Dad sometimes really can’t speak. I can understand your complaints. However, in my opinion, you are very similar to your father, and you hide your words. When you came back from graduation, he actually hoped that you would take the initiative to come Trying to join the company, because he has never seen your wishes, he hoped that you would be more active, but in the end, you went to work in Xinya, he was a little disappointed, but later he thought it would be better for you to gain some experience outside, so he also Don't say anything. Don't believe me, I have such a deep friendship with your father, and I know his good and bad. "

He looked at me, patted me on the shoulder, and persuaded: "Let's talk about it, you are not young, you should know how to measure. Your news is exaggerated, and it is understandable for your father to be angry, because he expects so much from you." , and if you don’t clarify, he’s in a hurry, so he doesn’t sound good. But think about it, this kind of thing... Well, of course, being a parent is unacceptable, and it’s a stubborn person like your father."

I do not speak.But I couldn't stop my heart from being stimulated by his words.It's a dilemma, but it feels more sad.I don't know why.

Uncle Chen continued: "Besides, you have much more experience, qualifications and contacts than the Xu family. Although he has a heart, he is too young and has little qualifications. Besides, he is not as legitimate as you. It's just that your news has a greater impact. But it's not a problem, just clarify it, right? You don't need uncle to tell you how to do it."

I just looked at him and barely said: "I..."

Uncle Chen cut off my words: "I'll stop here, think about it carefully. Just remember that this company is your father's painstaking effort, and you are his son after all."

I fell silent.

Uncle Chen really didn't talk about it later.

Return to the nursing center again.Secretary Zhang and the director surnamed Lin are still there.Uncle Chen expressed his condolences to me, promised me that he would help stabilize the company's situation first, and left with the director surnamed Lin.

Secretary Zhang sent them away.I went to the intensive care center.Xu's mother and son are still in front of the hospital bed.The doctor had already explained it there, and when he saw me, he said it again from the beginning.It's the same as what I heard outside the operating room before.

After explaining, Ms. Xu asked some questions.I can't pay attention.Looking at his father who still couldn't wake up, his mind was full of those remonstrances just now.

Of course I blame my father, because of my mother, because my father is always indifferent.It's not that I can't understand his mood, it's that he never let me experience it.Of course I have reasons.Of course I can be indifferent.But at this moment, it was an incomparably uncomfortable feeling that could not be ignored.

Of course I can understand those words.I'm a little distraught.

At some point, Ms. Xu also fell silent.Several people gathered around the hospital bed, all looking depressed.

Perhaps seeing the gloomy atmosphere, the doctor said again: "The patient's vital signs are stable now, although the brain pressure is a little higher, but after the operation just now, he should be able to wake up in two or three days at the earliest."

When Ms. Xu heard this, she wiped her tears again.Probably happy.

Later, because it was getting late, they couldn't stay here any longer, so they went out together.When they went outside, they looked at each other, and the atmosphere became vaguely awkward.

Secretary Zhang has returned.He didn't mention who was here just now, he just said: "Now there are reporters outside, wait downstairs, please come with me."

Xu Chengcheng frowned and said, "This will be asked sooner or later, and avoiding it is not an option."

Secretary Zhang said: "Of course, but how to explain it will be discussed by the board of directors. In short, avoid it tonight, and maybe come together tomorrow."

Xu Chengcheng didn't answer.Secretary Zhang looked at me, but I didn't speak.So he went to call the elevator, and the group went to the first floor together, and they all followed him to the other entrance.

Usually the side door is closed at night, and the hospital is probably very accommodating today.The reporters also seemed to be at the gate and the emergency room, so they arrived at the parking lot smoothly.

Xu's mother and son got into the car first and left.Secretary Zhang is still following me.He said: "Mr. Cheng, maybe I have no position to say anything to you, but—in any case, I think what the two directors said today is quite right."

I didn't say a word, just opened the car door and sat on it.

When the car drove out, Secretary Zhang still stood where he was.

When I got back, it was already past nine o'clock in the evening.It wouldn't be so late, but I found that there seemed to be a car following me, so I went around two more times.

Of course Zhao Kuanyi came back.He is in the living room, turning on the TV to watch rarely.Only those critical words were heard, aimed at my father, at me, at him.I don't know how he feels.I don't care about doing things all the time, but at this moment, it seems that a needle tip is pricking my heart one after another.There is no strength to resist the pain.Resist my powerlessness.

I close the door and stand.Suddenly I don't know what to do, obviously I really want to see Zhao Kuanyi.But rationality forced me to face the reality every second.

Zhao Kuanyi has already turned off the TV.He stood up and looked at me.Before he could speak, I smiled and said, "Have you eaten yet?"

Zhao Kuanyi seemed to have a meal, and said: "I ate it on the plane first." After a pause, "I forgot that you probably haven't eaten it yet. Let's see what takeaway is called."

I was still smiling, and walked over, "It's too late at this time, and I'm not hungry." I sat down on the sofa, "Now I want to smoke a cigarette."

Zhao Kuanyi also sat back, not speaking, but looking at me.

I took out my cigarette on my own, then looked at him, and sighed, "I've been in the hospital all day, I can't bear it."

Zhao Kuanyi said: "It's better to smoke less, recently you smoke more than before."

I paused, twitched the corners of my mouth, and lit the cigarette.

Zhao Kuanyi asked, "What did the doctor say?"

I said in a low voice, "The operation is a success. There is no major problem at present. Just wait for him to wake up, two or three days at the fastest, one month or two months at the slowest... half a year? Not sure."

Zhao Kuanyi was silent, and then said: "I read the news."

I don't say a word.

Zhao Kuanyi seemed to have thought about it and said: "Actually, the situation of your father's company is not difficult to solve."

I just looked at him again.Zhao Kuanyi also looked at it.

"I can help," he said.

Without hesitation, I said, "No need—" Looking at his expression, I added, "It's not appropriate for you to help at this time."

Zhao Kuanyi remained silent.He also took a cigarette and lit it.He said, "It's also common to help each other in business."

I am silent.Hearing that his tone was a little light, I was a little bit sorry, and I almost agreed right away.But knowing it’s impossible, it’s best not to talk about it.But it's always at this time that I can't bear to talk the most.

I blurted out: "That's a normal situation. Because of the two of us, the reporter has to make a big fuss. Now there are enough news."

Zhao Kuanyi was quiet for a while, and said: "Not too much this time."

I said, "Anyway, don't interfere."

Zhao Kuanyi remained silent.

I looked at him and explained hesitantly: "I have my difficulties."

Zhao Kuanyi quickly replied, "I understand."

I don't think he really understands.I thought of Uncle Chen's words.I said, "I'm really in a dilemma."

Zhao Kuanyi was silent, and suddenly said: "In this world, no one has ever faced a dilemma? But we have to face it."

As soon as I was silent, I suddenly felt angry.I asked, "Why didn't I face it?"

Zhao Kuanyi smoked a cigarette and said, "I don't want to argue with you about this. What matters is your father's company. If the overseas part is not handled well, it may also drag down here in China. Besides, you have no other choice now. .”

I extinguished the cigarette in the ashtray, stood up, and said, "Of course I know! I can always find a way, so don't worry about it."

Zhao Kuanyi looked at me and said, "You can think about it later."

I was about to walk away, so I stopped and said, "Of course I've thought about it, I've said it just now—you didn't want me to take care of Auntie's affairs, so you can't think about it from my standpoint now?"

Zhao Kuanyi snorted and said, "Did you think about it from my standpoint at that time? Speaking of it, I really don't understand. You still want to protect my mother, thinking you already knew about it."

I felt a thorn in my back, so I couldn't help raising the volume: "You still remember the past, don't you?"

From Zhao Kuanyi's point of view, "I didn't say that! Besides, you want to bring it up."

I said, "I don't think we should talk about it any further."

Zhao Kuanyi remained silent for a while, and suddenly said: "Every time something is not good, you don't want to talk about it! It's always like this. If it continues like this, what else can we talk about?"

I couldn't help blurting out: "I have nothing to say, so why don't we be together!"

When I said it, Zhao Kuanyi and I were both stunned and speechless for a while.

I really didn't expect the conversation to be so deadlocked.It's ridiculous to say such angry words.But the emotions settled down, and after slowly recalling it, I felt relieved.I was in a trance.

I am not lacking in courage.I have never loved someone for such a long time, and until now, I am still in love.But the reality is too turbulent, and I can no longer only consider my own wishes.Now this is the best solution to all twists and turns.I suddenly stopped being restless.But the feeling in my heart is more bitter than ever.

Zhao Kuanyi said at this moment: "You don't need to say such things."

I made a decision in my heart, and said, "I don't know what other words are most suitable." Then I looked at him, "Actually, you also know in your heart that if you continue, it will only be more painful, around you, around me... Everyone is hoping for this outcome."

Zhao Kuanyi didn't answer, and after a while, he said: "There are a lot of things these days, all of which are under great pressure. You are right, don't talk any more—"

I said, "We can't ignore others."

Zhao Kuanyi remained silent.He took a drag on his cigarette and pressed it into the ashtray on the coffee table.He stood up suddenly, as if wanting to move away, but he stood still.

He said: "What other people think, that is their freedom, everyone cares, there is no end to it."

I couldn't help saying: "But this is reality!"

Zhao Kuanyi looked at me and said, "The reality is nothing more than facing it."

I was silent, but I still endured the pain and said: "We, really, don't continue. Besides, we have different ideas in many aspects. Think about it, what is the reason for every quarrel? There is no result. "

Zhao Kuanyi didn't speak.

I turned my back, not daring to meet his gaze.I said cruelly, "It's not the first time I've thought this way. It's my wishful thinking when I tell you. I shouldn't force you. It's my fault. It was wrong from the beginning..."

Zhao Kuanyi said afterwards: "Wrong? Do you think—I'm not—" He stopped, "Why do you think I spend time with someone I don't like?"

I froze, feeling a surge of emotion in my chest.But I had to restrain myself.I said: "Of course you like me, otherwise, how can we be friends? But no matter how good it is, it's like this, you don't love me."

Before he finished speaking, his arm was suddenly pulled.I just turned around.He and Zhao Kuanyi looked at each other, but couldn't say anything.He was still holding my hand, which was a bit heavy.

He said: "You have to hear it no matter what - I will say I love you now, do you believe it?"

I froze, momentarily in a trance.My heart was shaken by these words, as if nothing was important anymore.I wanted to laugh, but I couldn't, because immediately I was sad again.How can I not believe it.But it was too late.

I shake off his hand.

He seemed astonished, looked at me, and didn't speak for a long time.

I couldn't help but look away, and said, "You know? I don't quite believe it."

He said, "Look at me and say."

I just turned my back to prevent him from pulling my hand, and just said, "I don't want to stay any longer. I'm going to my friend's place."

I don't know what his expression is like at the moment, I only heard him ask: "Are you serious?"

After a pause, I can answer: "Yes."

Without further hesitation, I opened the door and went out.

I drove aimlessly, and in the end I was really exhausted, so I found a hotel to stay at random.But lying on a clean and comfortable bed, I couldn't fall asleep.When I think about it just now, it seems like a lifetime away.There seemed to be a needle point pricking my heart, but it pierced straight into the flesh all of a sudden, which was very painful.No matter how painful it is, you still have to be patient.

During this period, Zhao Kuanyi made several phone calls.I didn't answer it once, and I didn't press it down.Listening to the ringtone of the mobile phone seems to stimulate myself more.

Then, finally fell asleep.

The next day, I entered the company.When the people in the company saw me, they seemed to be hesitant to speak, and the look in their eyes seemed to have some meaning.I just numbly assigned the task and went to the hospital again.Father's condition is much better than yesterday, and the scores of some tests are all good.It can be said that he is sober.It's just that he is still groggy from time to time, unable to express his intentions on his own initiative.

Ms. Xu didn't come today, but Xu Chengcheng came anyway.He said something to himself, as if to explain: "My mother is not feeling well."

I didn't say anything at the time.When I walked out of the intensive care center, I called to him and said, "Let me talk to you."

Xu Chengcheng seemed to have paused, his face froze, "I don't think there is anything to talk about."

I put my hands in my trouser pockets, raised my chin towards him and turned it slightly to the other side, "Speak there." I ignored him and walked over.

After a while, footsteps came from behind, and it was Xu Chengcheng who followed.I turned to look at him.He frowned, as if he was dissatisfied.

"Speak quickly if you have something to say. I don't have much time, and the company still has a lot to deal with."

I said, "I also know the current situation in the company."

Xu Chengcheng was silent.

I said, "To tell you the truth, I don't like you, so I don't need to say the reason."

Xu Chengcheng snorted lightly.

I went on and said: "You must not understand how bad my relationship with...Dad is. I don't know how he gets along with you. It's not like me. From childhood to adulthood, he showed concern for me Limited, the only question is grades."

Xu Chengcheng remained silent, and folded his arms as if awkwardly.He asked, "What exactly are you trying to say?"

I looked at him and said, "I've never been interested in inheriting the family business. It's not that I'm disgusted. I thought it over a long time ago, and I don't want it."

Xu Chengcheng raised his eyebrows and said, "From my point of view, you are just afraid, so you dare not fight."

I was silent and couldn't help laughing.I said, "Maybe you're right."

Xu Chengcheng said nothing, but he kept staring at me strangely.

I said in a low voice, "It's because I don't think I'm suitable to sit in a seat like my father's. I'm bound to be restrained in everything I do. I don't like it very much. Up to now, I also think so, but the reality is no longer up to me to decide."

Xu Chengcheng seemed taken aback, and asked, "What do you mean?"

I didn't answer him, just said: "But I need your help. The company's situation is not good now. If we don't cooperate, the company will eventually fall into the hands of others."

At this point, Xu Chengcheng must understand.He scowled.I don't know what is the reason for it.He stared at me.

He said, "Why should I help you? Why can't you help me?"

I said: "Because the person lying inside is also your father. Besides, the situation is obvious, and you know it too. Your qualifications and contacts are still too shallow, and the board of directors will definitely not support you. If I don't express my opinion, they will only support others. "

Xu Chengcheng frowned, as if he was unwilling to admit defeat, but he seemed helpless.With a snort, he suddenly said, "Then the other person is General Manager Cao?"

I don't answer.

Xu Chengcheng was also silent, and he spoke for a while, but his expression was still not good, "I also confess that I don't like you either. I don't think I am inferior to you. You just came out to do things a few years ago."

I still don't speak.

He added: "However, I can promise you."

I stared at him blankly, then nodded slightly after a while.

Xu Chengcheng turned his face away and let out a low snort, "I'm doing it for Dad too! Don't forget, I can pull you down at any time."

I didn't speak, but I couldn't help but twitched the corner of my mouth.

I don't have anything to say later, so I want to leave, and suddenly I heard him say: "There is something that I have always wanted to say, whether you believe it or not, my father told me before that I still have a brother, I am actually... happy of."

I stop.Turning his head, he turned his back.

I said, "Anyway, thank you."