I'm going crazy and I'm green

As soon as Liu Chao said this, I didn't know whether I should speak or remain silent.I secretly glanced at Liu Chao, then at Shen Miao, and squeezed myself into a ball in the chair.

Shen Miao asked with an unclear expression: "Zi Lan, I don't quite understand what you mean by that?"

Liu Chao didn't answer, but said to Shen Miao: "Yuanzhi, sometimes I don't understand you very well. You are such a smart person, can't you even detect the slightest bit of affection? Or are you Ask him again in front of me, to know who this little bastard likes more, and then force him to kick the other one away?"

Liu Chao crossed his arms and sneered, and said again: "I have been probing with words for several days, and my head is about to split. I see, there are beds and tables here. If you simply test with real swords and guns, who will be happy?" Who will accompany you!"

Shen Miao frowned suspiciously.

I whispered to Liu Chao: "It's about this time, you...you should be more serious."

Liu Chao's temper that exploded every other day was ignited again, and he suddenly broke out: "This time? When is this? Is there a bad luck? Anyway, I'm about to be kicked out in one breath."

"Yuanzhi, since you heard it in the room yesterday, I'm not afraid to say it again." Liu Chao slowed down, "I did have feelings for you before, but for various reasons, I feel that being friends with you is not enough." It was good, so I gradually calmed down. Now that I have identified a person, he has a bit of me in his heart. If you were not the one fighting with me, I would have beaten him to death with a stick, and then tied Yu Jiayan to be happy. But you Play tricks with me here..."

Shen Miao was about to speak, but Liu Chao couldn't hold back his emotions, and turned to me and said fiercely, "I really wish I could cut you in half with a pair of scissors, so that each person can tear one piece and forget it."

After finishing speaking, Liu Chao seemed to have lost all strength in his hands and feet, and sat back heavily.

Shen Miao finally opened his mouth.Like Liu Chao, he cut out large sections of words, which made me breathless.

"Zilan, I don't mean what you said. I never thought about the 'kicking away' you said. I even asked this question. I just want to know. If I really only choose one, I will Not the one to get kicked out so easily."

I was hit hard on the back by a thunderbolt, and I yelled "far away" uncontrollably, and the rest choked in my throat uncontrollably.

"Xiaoyan..." Shen Miao said, "That day you asked me why I kept everything in my heart and didn't tell you."

I hastily said in a trembling voice, "What I said that day was all nonsense!"

Shen Miao smiled at me, the morning mist was soft and soft, leaving behind a string of cool water droplets on the tops of grass and trees.

He went on to explain: "One is that I... I'm not used to saying these things, and I always thought I should stop them. The second is... The second is that I am a little afraid to say it. I know that you and Zilan have had a relationship since childhood, and I But I am a latecomer, and many things cannot be intervened. Sometimes I worry that I have broken the relationship between you, and I dare not talk about the two of you lightly. I am afraid that if I mention it, you will wake up and leave alone. I'm where I am."

After hearing this, Liu Chao laughed at himself: "Yuanzhi, the person you're talking about is really yourself, isn't he talking about me?"

Shen Miao looked at Liu Chao, his eyes filled with confusion.Those cold water droplets condensed into cold ice, "crackling" on the skin and flesh.

I knew I shouldn't hide anymore.

Their anger and worry, most of their bad emotions, are related to me.Speaking of which, I wanted to slap myself hard, where did I get such a big face?

My throat was astringent: "It's me...I'm sorry for you."

At first I thought I was trying to make no one feel bad, but in fact I was just being pulled and pushed forward by two desires.I was thinking about what I couldn't ask for in the previous life, and I swore an oath while sitting on the edge of the River of Forgetfulness, but I still reached out to touch it in a despicable way, wishing to leave a dirty handprint, and I was greedy for someone who could understand all my feelings , pulling a beam of light to shine on that dark corner where mildew and dust bother to patronize.

So when I realized that I was caught between two desires, I couldn't make up my mind, didn't dare to push them away, and couldn't hold them in my arms.

In the end, all I could say was "I'm sorry" to no avail.

Shen Miao was silent for a long time before saying: "Don't say such things. Xiaoyan, what are you thinking in your heart?"

The wind outside the window made the beams, tables and chairs spin around, I opened my mouth, not sure if I said it to Shen Miao, Liu Chao, myself, or something else.

I said confusedly: "I... I feel disgusted when I say this. Far away, I... I really like you. I don’t know if you still remember a few years ago when a dog gnawed on mud and fell under the willow tree. , From then on, I thought you were good in everything. For Zilan, I don’t know if that is love, but...but I always feel that you should be there, in my heart...I can’t live without you, but I don't know where it is."

Shen Miao and Liu Chao looked at me, their faces and expressions gradually blurred, like a layer of mist.I would rather they beat me up, even harder, instead of being silent like this.

"Sounds so stupid, and it's so cheap..." I raised my head and said to Shen Miao, addressing him like I did at the beginning, "Brother Shen, Yu Jiayan walked around you in a cute skin five years ago, but inside Just a cowardly and selfish villain."

I still wanted to say something to Liu Chao, but my throat was blocked by tears that fell unconsciously.I said in my heart: I haven't finished talking yet, Yu Jiayan, you are crying shit.

But I couldn't raise my hand to wipe it, and no one wiped it for me.

Liu Chao stood up, walked around the room violently a few times, and said something, which only made a messy buzzing in my ears.Then he pushed open the door and left.

After an unknown amount of time, Shen Miao also stood up, and then he squatted down in front of me, hesitating to speak.

He kissed me lightly on the cheek, wiped away tears with the soft inner lining of his sleeves, and finally got up to leave.

I sat in the room blankly, with a new layer of wetness on my face.

The warmth of that kiss has long since dissipated.

No one went out again, and no one came back.

For the rest of the day, I don't remember how I got through it either.

On the second day, I locked myself in the study.Wan Yue pushed the door open and came in, I immediately stood up, expecting her to bring up the news from the porter as usual.

But Wan Yue just replaced the cold tea in the cup for me, she may have seen that I was not in the right state, and wanted to say a few words of relief, I waved her away.

There was only one person left in the house.

As soon as the tea is in your mouth, it is so hot that you can't taste the bitterness on your tongue.I lowered my hair in a daze, and poured the water from the teacup into the inkstone by some mysterious coincidence.

Mo Bing turned around many times, and when I woke up, the tea had already turned into thick black ink, and the fish beside me curled up their tails, ready to jump out and slap this reckless man with his tail.

I hurriedly opened the door and called out to the people standing by to bring clean water.

Wan Yue also rushed over, and she asked me with concern: "Is there anything else I need to do?"

I gently touched the shallow pit on the inkstone with my hand, lowered my head and said, "Ask someone...to get the carriage ready..."