Unforgivable

Nan Che found Nan Shu in a food stall on the side of the road. The whole street was very lively. He searched for a long time before he saw Nan Shu sitting there alone. There were several empty beer bottles on the table.

This journey was too anxious, Nan Che kept panting and let out a heavy sigh of relief.

In his impression, Nan Shu never drank a drop of alcohol, but at this moment he drank five or six bottles of beer. Looking at Nan Shu with one hand on his forehead, one can imagine how uncomfortable he is at the moment.

"Nanshu?" He called softly, but seeing no response, he reached out and stroked his back.

Nan Shu moved suddenly, without raising his head, and shouted in a drunken voice, "Brother..."

Nan Che's hand rested on his back, standing beside him without moving.

In the past five years, it's not that he hasn't heard Nan Shu call his brother, but it's just that he unconsciously calls out when he is not awake enough. He calls all that person, not him.

Nanshu never called his brother.

He was so drunk that his ears turned red, Nan Che couldn't bear it, bent down, rubbed his neck with his hand, and said softly, "Do you feel uncomfortable?"

Nan Shu listened, shook his head, and then nodded again. After a few seconds, he raised his eyes, his eyes seemed to be covered by a layer of fog, only full of confusion.

He saw Nan Che standing on his right side, and turned his body slightly so that Nan Che's hand was empty.

Nan Che didn't care, went to the store and poured him a glass of water: "Drink some."

Nan Shu didn't respond, and opened his legs slightly, looking at the lights on the roadside in the distance.

"Drink so much." Nan Che helped up the fallen wine bottle, and said in a calm tone, "When did you learn it?"

Nan Shu's eyelashes trembled, he looked down at his fingers, and said slowly, "Do you know his phone number?"

After he finished speaking, Nan Che just sat down opposite him, crossed his legs, leaned on the back chair, raised his chin slightly and stared at him.

He did know Shi Zhiyuan's cell phone number, but he had never contacted him. It was his father who had been following Shi Zhiyuan's life five years ago and got the eleven-digit number after asking around. What's even more hateful is him. Actually also firmly remembered.

When Nan Shu asks this question, he is sure that he has it, and he will not lie to him.

His silence has told Nanshu the answer.

Nan Shu still didn't look up, put his fingers in the palm of his hand and shook it vigorously: "Can you tell me."

Nanche opened his mouth, hesitating for a few seconds before choosing to swallow what he wanted to say.Since returning to City A, Nan Shu has been in a state of anxiety, depression and self-abandonment. Looking at him like this, he may have failed to please Shi Zhiyuan more than once. Nan Che suddenly regretted not being able to stop him. Much better than coming back here.

But he also understands that it is useless to stop anyone, just like Nan Shu went crazy and wanted to escape from their home. He worked hard for several years in high school, but his goal never changed. This elder brother who has long since disowned him.

On the way back, Nanche followed him, watching his erratic footsteps, but still insisted on walking in a straight line.He knows that Nan Shu is an extremely brave person, as long as he wants to, some things cannot be changed, even if there is no good result, even if his head is broken.

Nan Che sent him back to the dormitory. Originally, he was worried that he would go crazy with alcohol, but seeing that Nan Shu returned there and sat motionless at the table, he glanced at the other three and lowered his voice: "Go to bed early."

Nan Shu's reddish eyes have been looking at the person holding him in the photo, and he lowered his head until his eyes hurt.Soon after Nan Che left, the others had already turned off the lights and went to bed, and the mobile phone was on. Nan Shu glanced at it, and it was Nan Che who sent him a series of phone numbers, without saying anything else.

Nan Shu stared at this number for a long time, and saved it in the address book, with a note of brother.

His fingers trembling on the screen, he put down his phone and opened the box under the bed.

He locked the box, and inside it were the memories of him and Shi Zhiyuan in those 13 years, but he was too anxious to leave at that time, and he did not pack the luggage, so many things were not taken away. There was a ceramic doll that Shi Zhiyuan sent He cherishes his birthday present very much, and now, he probably won't be able to get it back.

The things inside were neatly arranged by him and kept carefully.The championship trophy that Shi Zhiyuan accompanied him in the competition, the toys that Shi Zhiyuan bought for him, the hand-made graffiti that he and Shi Zhiyuan completed together, the sunflowers that Shi Zhiyuan drew for him... and many more that Shi Zhiyuan bought for him brown bear.

In the middle of the night, Song Zhi got up to go to the bathroom, and saw that the light on Nan Shu's desk was still on, and in front of the desk was Nan Shu who had already fallen asleep on his stomach, holding a small doll in his hand.

He didn't know what this bear meant to Nan Shu, but now that the night was cold, he was only worried that he would catch a cold.

Waking up Nan Shu was easier than he imagined, and he didn't show dissatisfaction when he woke up. Song Zhi looked at the bloodshot eyes in his eyes and said in a low voice, "Go back to bed and sleep."

Nan Shu slowed down, didn't let go of his hands, but when he stood up, he couldn't stand steadily. Fortunately, Song Zhi was standing beside him, supporting him with quick eyes and hands.

"I'm fine." Nan Shu said, "Thank you."

The next morning, Nan Shu stayed in bed. After the military training, everyone was waiting for the opening ceremony. These days, there was more free time. No one in the dormitory went out. Song Zhi saw him come out of the bathroom and put the porridge that was still warm Handed it over: "I'll feel bad the next day after drinking, let's have some porridge."

The drops of water on Nan Shu's face were not wiped dry. He tugged at the collar, looked down, and reached out to take it after a few seconds.

Seeing that he accepted it, Song Zhi raised the corners of his mouth slightly, turned around and went to the bathroom.

He didn't close the door, Zhang Yichen followed in with an apple, and gently closed the door, Song Zhi looked at him suspiciously, and heard him say: "Why are you so nice to him?"

Song Zhi said: "We are all roommates, we should help each other."

Zhang Yichen laughed: "Don't you think you have a hot face with a cold butt?"

Song Zhi frowned, and replied, "I don't think so."

"Why do you like him so much?"

Song Zhi asked back, "Why are you so hostile to him?"

Zhang Yichen turned off the faucet, and said softly, "He's very strange."

"Deliberately lock the door, deliberately throw away other people's things, target in every possible way, slander behind the scenes... I think strangeness is better than this kind of badness, right?"

After leaving the bathroom, there was no sign of Nanshu in the dormitory. I don't know when he left. Song Zhi ignored Zhang Yichen and went out with his bag.

City A is so big, it is extremely rare to meet acquaintances. When Nan Shu saw Ding Yu, he had just walked out of a shop.

Nan Shu averted his eyes and passed him by, but Ding Yu stopped him, walked up to him, looked up and down, and grinned: "Long time no see, how are you doing?"

As if on purpose, his words were full of provocations. Nan Shu looked into his eyes and remembered the scene of Zhiyuan beating up this person because of him that year. This person gave him a bad feeling. Don't want to bother.

But Ding Yu persisted, and said with a smile: "I thought you wouldn't come back, after all, you don't have a home here anymore."

His smile was smug, Nan Shu looked at him coldly, Ding Yu raised his eyebrows: "I haven't seen you for a few years, you have changed so much, you don't have any living breath on your body. Also, you probably inherited your father." , After all, your father killed someone else's mother, and you were kicked out too, so pitiful."

Less than a second after the voice fell, Nan Shu grabbed his collar and said in a low voice, "Do you want to die?"

Ding Yu didn't resist. He looked at Nan Shu's distorted face because of anger, and laughed loudly: "Why, do you want to kill me too? Like your father killed other people's mother?"

In the past five years, Nanshu has indeed changed a lot, and he doesn't know it.

Unable to control his emotions, he beat Ding Yu half to death on the street. Several people on the side of the road rushed up to arrest him, and finally sent him to the police station.

Faced with the police's questioning, Nan Shu remained silent. When he wanted to contact his family, he gave Shi Zhiyuan's mobile phone number to the police. way, he is also willing.

But it seemed that the communication was not smooth. It took several calls from the police to tell him that Shi Zhiyuan agreed to come over. After hearing this, Nan Shu lowered his head, and half an hour later explained the reason and process of the fight.

What he said was heard by Shi Zhiyuan verbatim, unexpectedly, Shi Zhiyuan was not angry, angry that Nanshu made trouble for him, but fell into silence.

His thoughts drifted away with Nan Shu's voice, and drifted to the year when Nan Shu was ten years old.

Ding Yu is a few years older than Nan Shu, and is in the same school as Nan Shu. This person has a strong personality since he was a child, and he likes to form gangs to bully others. After school, he likes to stop in the alleys and ask other students for money.At that time, Nan Shu was very famous in the school, because he would play piano music on stage when the school held activities, and also participated in various competitions. His family was rich and he wore famous brands every day.For some unknown reason, Ding Yu found him extremely unpleasant, so he kept running on him when he met him. That day after school, he saw Nan Shu shopping at the canteen, and stopped him after a few minutes.

He searched all the money on Nan Shu and threatened him not to sue his family.

In the beginning, Nan Shu really didn’t dare, but he was not a character who could swallow his anger. When Ding Yu asked him for money again, he jumped up and scratched his face, but he couldn’t beat several opponents by himself. It is conceivable that I went back to my brother crying with all my injuries.

At that time, Shi Zhiyuan doted on him very much. When he saw his clothes were torn and his face was swollen, he didn't say anything. The next day he went to school alone and beat Ding Yu until his nose was black and his face was swollen. Later, he coaxed Nan Shu for a while months.

Looking at Nan Shu sitting in the interrogation room, Shi Zhiyuan could actually guess the reason for his fight this time before he came. Apart from that incident, he couldn't think of anything else that could make Nan Shu lose his mind.

Five years of hard work has also expanded his network. He learned that Ding Yu had a criminal record. After a few hours, he found someone to solve the matter. It was already dark outside. He signed his name and took him away. .

Nan Shu followed behind him without saying a word, and left the police station. Shi Zhiyuan stopped beside the car for a while, opened the door and got in.Nan Shu stared blankly at his profile, while Shi Zhiyuan sat in the car and looked ahead, not intending to leave, as if he was waiting for him.

He thought he was crazy, why would Shi Zhiyuan wait for him?

The horn rang three times, Nan Shu saw Shi Zhiyuan looking towards him, he was stunned for a while, opened the car door and got in, the car still didn't start.

They were silent for a while, Shi Zhiyuan said: "Can you not cause trouble?"

Afraid that he would be angry, Nan Shu organized his speech for a long time and said, "I'm sorry."

Shi Zhiyuan saw the expression on his face that he knew he was wrong, and remembered the way he saw him beating someone that day. For a moment, he didn't know who was the real him, and said angrily: "Why do you apologize to me, you beat someone so hard Where is the son?"

Nan Shu opened his mouth: "He said something he shouldn't have said."

"So you beat people up like that?" Shi Zhiyuan frowned, "You want to go to jail too, don't you?"

Nan Shu lowered his head and looked so obedient. Shi Zhiyuan felt that he must have been dazzled that day, but today's incident made him have to get to know his younger brother again. In the past five years, what made him So much has changed.

He didn't know what to think, and his tone softened: "Nan Shu, it's time for you to start a new life, don't think about the past, and don't come to me again."

"……elder brother."

"If you shout like that again, get out."

His words were cold and without a trace of emotion, Nan Shu's nose was sour, and he turned his gaze out of the window.In the interrogation room just now, he kept thinking about Shi Zhiyuan who rushed ahead of him to protect him that year, how old was he then?He is ten years old, Shi Zhiyuan is only seventeen, how capable is a 17-year-old boy, as long as there are more people in the other party, I am afraid that he and Shi Zhiyuan will not be able to retreat that day, but Shi Zhiyuan did just that, In order to vent his anger for him, he did it regardless.

So the brother who loves him so much is not his brother.

Why is it wrong to even call my brother now?

"I don't want to hit him." Nan Shu's voice was a little trembling, "It was he who said those words, those words I heard for five years, and that incident made me farther and farther away from you, so I always feel that those words seem to be Reminding me...you don't want me anymore."

"It's not like." Shi Zhiyuan said calmly, "I really don't want you anymore."

Nan Shu couldn't remember how long he hadn't cried.

He didn't cry when he was humiliated and abused, and he didn't cry when he was isolated and pranked, but now the tears couldn't be stopped. The pain he suffered in the past few years seems to be worse than Shi Zhiyuan's sentence "I really don't want You" choked him.

"Sorry……"

He didn't know how many times he said sorry, and in the end even he himself didn't know why he apologized. He was so humble to the bottom of his heart, he only thought that Shi Zhiyuan could not be so cruel to him and could forgive him, even a little bit.

But Shi Zhiyuan was indifferent, did not interrupt him, and did not respond.

Nan Shu looked at his side face and reached out to grab his sleeve: "In the past five years, I miss my mother very much, and I miss you very much."

Shi Zhiyuan let him pull him, his chest heaved, and he looked out the window and took a deep breath.

Nanshu didn't see his red eyes.

"From now on, you can just miss your mother." Shi Zhiyuan said, "Don't think of me anymore, Nanshu."

"It's not easy for Nan Che's family to support you in the past five years. You should think about how to repay them in the future instead of confessing in front of me. It's meaningless."

"I don't want you anymore. As early as five years ago, I was not your brother."

That night, Nan Shu had a dream all night, and the images in the dream kept repeating, the tragedy of that year, Shi Zhiyuan's collapse, the house full of police, and the blocked villa.

Shi Zhiyuan pushed him far away, pointed at him and said, "Get out of here!!"

Shi Zhiyuan glared at him viciously, and said, "His blood is bleeding from your body, you are as disgusting as him..."

Shi Zhiyuan pushed his hand away forcefully, and said to him, "I don't want you anymore."

I don't want you anymore...

I don't want you anymore, Nan Shu.

Nan Shu woke up from the dream, the night outside was dark, only the sound of the wind could be heard.

He clicked on the number he had already engraved in his heart, and couldn't help calling. It was past three o'clock in the morning, and Nan Shu didn't have any hope. Unexpectedly, after two or three rings, the other party connected.

It was as quiet over there as here. Nan Shu heard Shi Zhiyuan's breathing, but Shi Zhiyuan didn't speak, didn't say a word, and hung up the phone after 1 minute.

The next day, he stood downstairs at Shi Zhiyuan's company for a while, and took the subway to the streets where Shi Zhiyuan and Shi Zhiyuan used to hang out. When turning the corner, he saw a French restaurant not far away, Shi Zhiyuan liked to come here very much at that time.

He stopped where he was, and saw a black Maybach parked at the door, and then Xu Ming got down from the back seat.

The price of this store is not low, and sometimes you can’t get a seat even if you make an appointment, but Xu Ming didn’t take too long, and walked out a few minutes later with a box, and a man in the back seat, also in a suit and leather shoes, was talking to him by the side of the car. chat.

Nan Shu approached, and vaguely heard Xu Ming explaining the company's affairs. He didn't know what the man asked. Nan Shu heard Xu Ming say: He is picky eater, but he likes to eat this dish.

The man shook his head helplessly, and didn't get in the car again, Xu Ming left in the car.

Nan Shu returned to the community where Shi Zhiyuan lived, and as expected, he saw the Maybach. His guess was confirmed. Those dishes were ordered for Shi Zhiyuan. This man can come in and out of his house at will. Familiar to this point.

The curtains in front of the floor-to-ceiling windows leaned against both sides, and the sunlight made Nan Shu unable to see the living room clearly. He stood under the tree and saw Xu Ming's figure flashing past after a while. He had already taken off his suit jacket and was wearing a black shirt. , the whole person looks as calm as in his own home.

Xu Ming didn't walk away, with his back turned to him, Nan Shu saw Shi Zhiyuan, the two of them were very close, and they didn't know what they were doing.

His face became more and more serious, and blood was coming out of his fingers. At this moment, he didn't feel any pain, but only felt that his chest was about to explode.He really wanted to know what kind of relationship this man had with Shi Zhiyuan, but no matter what it was, he couldn't accept it.

So what if Shi Zhiyuan doesn't recognize him, he is still his younger brother.The younger brother who was brought up by Shi Zhiyuan since he was a child did not allow Shi Zhiyuan to treat others well.

People can't really see themselves clearly, and Nan Shu doesn't even think about what he has become over the years. It doesn't matter if he doesn't have friends in City C, and it doesn't matter if people around him don't like him. That cheerful man with a complete family He disappeared five years ago, and his only thought from beginning to end was only one, wanting to return to him, wanting to have him, and wanting him to belong only to himself.

Want to lock Shi Zhiyuan with him, life and death are not in his consideration, as long as Shi Zhiyuan is in his sight, as long as he does not leave, as long as he talks to him, he blames him and hates him , Scold him, hit him, it doesn't matter, as long as Shi Zhiyuan is with him, Shi Zhiyuan can only be with him.

He seems to have been spoiled by Shi Zhiyuan since he was a child, he must get what he wants, and if he gets it, it belongs to him, and no one can take it away. Holding other children and not allowing Shi Zhiyuan to listen to him, is it bad?Shi Zhiyuan turned him into such a person, how could he abandon him, he is an older brother, and he has to bear this responsibility.

It was him who made him like this, and he couldn't let it go.

He doesn't allow a brother who is so close to other men.