lover's self-cultivation

"This is a freshly made breakfast, you can eat some while it's hot." In the morning, just as the sun was lighting up, the door of his room was pushed open.Hearing Si Xiangyan's voice at the door, Weng Linran still sat quietly on the balcony and looked at the scenery outside the window, with no intention of turning back.It has been almost a week since that incident happened, and Weng Linran's health has also improved.

However, Si Xiangyan didn't let her go back to work after she recovered, but let her stay in the room, dazed every day and night.She would bring in the meals prepared by her servants herself every day, but Weng Linran mostly didn't take a bite, and occasionally took a few bites, but the amount was so small that it could be ignored.

Seeing the other person's body lose weight rapidly, there is always a daze on his fair face.Si Xiangyan couldn't help it in the end, she put the dinner plate on the table with a snap, walked to Weng Linran's side in a few steps, and turned her body to let her look at herself.However, this person who used to have light in his eyes when he casually said a word to him was staring blankly at his face in a daze at this moment, like a blind man who had lost his light.

"What exactly do you want?" Seeing Weng Linran's eyes, Si Xiangyan's words of reproach were choked in his throat like this, and he didn't even know what position or face he still had in front of this person.During these long days, Si Xiangyan thought a lot and realized a lot.Perhaps human beings are such sad creatures who only know how to cherish after they are lost.

She saw Weng Linran's discomfort, so why didn't she feel distressed and sad in her heart?If time could be turned back, even if Si Xiangyan had to abandon her ridiculous self-esteem and timidity, she would do it without hesitation in order to protect Weng Linran.It's a pity that she can't do anything now, she can only watch Weng Linran feel sad and depressed, powerless.

"I...what do you want..." Hearing Si Xiangyan's question, Weng Linran's eyes flickered, and he repeated in a daze.Immediately afterwards, he shook his head and laughed.She got up and pushed away Si Xiangyan's hands that were pressing on her shoulders, but because she was too weak, she didn't push him away, instead causing her to stagger and almost fall.

In the past few days, Si Xiangyan has been very kind to her, bringing her meals every morning, noon and evening, and covering her cup before going to bed, and preparing a glass of milk for her.In the past, these things were the kindness that Weng Linran dreamed of, but now that she got it, she felt even more sad than not getting it.

Now, this proud woman finally couldn't stand her turning a blind eye to her anymore, and asked herself what she wanted to do?What she wanted was always Si Xiangyan's sincerity, not like now, being taken care of by Si Xiangyan, caring and caring, but feeling that the distance between the two of them is so far and so desolate.

Looking at Si Xiangyan's love and care for him, Weng Linran always dare not look at her, afraid that if he looks at her casually, he will fall into a bottomless black hole again.Weng Linran knew very well that if she couldn't untie the knot in her heart, she and Si Xiangyan might never have a result.It can also be said that even if he untie it, what can he do to her?Their identities are far apart, and they can't impress her even after doing so much by themselves, so when will they be able to look forward to this love?

"You sold my body to others. If you want to repay it, shouldn't you also give me the same thing?" After thinking for a long time, Weng Linran opened his mouth slowly. Yan's longing is always with her, almost driving her crazy.Since it was impossible for them, at least he wanted to get Si Xiangyan once.This woman is the dream and light she pursues and longs for. Even if she can't get her love, even if she can just kiss her, hug her, or let her body bloom in her hands, it is the most precious memory in her life.

However, although the idea is beautiful, Weng Linran also knows that the reality is cruel to him after all.After she finished speaking, she closed her eyes, waiting for Si Xiangyan's rejection, or waiting for her to call her subordinates to come in and drive herself away.The request he made just now violated Si Xiangyan's rebellion, and Weng Linran had already confirmed that he would be severely rejected when he spoke again.That's fine, drive her away, and she won't be sad anymore.

After hearing Weng Linran's words, Si Xiangyan was slightly taken aback.Seeing the other party with his eyes closed, he looked like he was waiting for the verdict.Looking at her slender chin, Si Xiangyan unexpectedly didn't feel angry, but only distressed.In a sense, Weng Linran's request is indeed excessive, but if such a request is placed between people who like each other, there is no scruples.

He stretched out his hand to caress Weng Linran's cheek, even though she has been haggard a lot recently, her facial features are still so delicate and beautiful.Seeing that she opened her eyes because of his touch, Si Xiangyan couldn't help curling the corners of her lips, moved her body closer, and blew the hot air from her mouth between the other's ears.At that moment, Si Xiangyan clearly felt that Weng Linran's body was shaking.

"You want me?" The low voice was a bit hoarse, and the faint smile on the corner of the mouth would make people intoxicated and dizzy.Weng Linran stared blankly at Si Xiangyan, never expecting that the other party would touch her so intimately, and even blow into her ear provocatively.This change was so quick that Weng Linran was completely dumbfounded, and could only nod subconsciously.

However, after she nodded, Si Xiangyan made an even more unexpected move.She took off the long gray sweater casually, revealing the white vest inside.Looking at Si Xiangyan's fair arms, Weng Linran only felt two lights flashing in front of his eyes, and Si Xiangyan smiled even more. Under his gaze, he also took off the vest and threw it on the ground. Showing only the upper body wearing a bra.

The lines of her body are flawless, every inch of pores is so delicate, the skin like suet is as smooth as jade, and the curve of the abdominal muscles that have been exercised all year round on the lower abdomen is even more clear.Seeing her surprised expression, she continued to approach herself, even pressing herself against the window.Weng Linran didn't dare to take a breath, and couldn't even speak completely.

"You..." Weng Linran wanted to ask Si Xiangyan what he wanted to do, but before he could say the word you, his lips were kissed violently by the other party, making her unable to continue talking.This kiss came quickly and urgently, but it was the first real kiss since the two met.Si Xiangyan's kiss was domineering and powerful.Weng Linran had no resistance to her at all, and almost threw away his armor and opened his lips the moment her lips touched them.

The small tongue was nibbled by her, and the tip of the tongue was teased by her hot tongue.Weng Linran hummed uncontrollably, couldn't help wrapping his arms around Si Xiangyan's shoulders, and kissed back passionately.For her, the taste of Si Xiangyan made her obsessed, like the only best food in the world, it was her dream that she had been longing for all her life.

Caught in this fierce kiss, looking at Si Xiangyan's closed eyes, Weng Linran didn't want to close them, but closed them reluctantly.She didn't know what this kiss represented, but Si Xiangyan's behavior at the moment was really too strange.Thinking of this, Weng Linran smiled wryly, and then pushed Si Xiangyan away without hesitation.The latter obviously didn't expect Weng Linran to do this. Surprised, he raised his eyes and found the sadness and pain in the other's eyes.Suddenly, I felt that what I did just now probably hurt this person's heart again.

"Si Xiangyan, I don't need your pity, let alone your sympathy. I love you so much that I don't even know what to do, but it doesn't mean that I don't even have the dignity of being a human being." Then lose. Nothing happened that day, and I didn't get hurt by Di Lao. You don't need to cater to me out of guilt, if you blame me for cheating you these days, I'll do whatever you want."

Weng Linran said, slowly closing his eyes.Finally, she spoke out what was suppressed in her heart.When she kissed Si Xiangyan just now, she really felt that she was very happy, even if she had to die at that moment, she would be willing.However, she couldn't do that, let alone use Si Xiangyan's guilt to fulfill her love.

In that way, even if they got Si Xiangyan, they would not get the happiness they deserved.Weng Linran couldn't deceive himself, let alone deceive Si Xiangyan.Even if her heart was broken by this woman, she didn't want her to suffer even a little bit of grievance just to caress her.

"Do you think what I'm doing now is to make up for you?" After hearing Weng Linran's words, Si Xiangyan's voice cooled down.

"Isn't it? You feel ashamed of me, so you want to make up for me in this way. But what I want is not such a simple thing. "

"What do you want?" Si Xiangyan frowned at the despair in Weng Linran's words. She asked knowingly, but she actually wanted to hear this person say it herself.

After he finished asking, Weng Linran opened his eyes, picked up the sweater thrown on the ground for her, slowly put it on her body, but hugged her in a second. "What I want has always been your heart. I don't want you to force yourself, and I don't want you to wrong yourself to fulfill me. Maybe you will never understand, but I really love you."

After Weng Linran finished speaking, he breathed hard and turned his body to the window.She didn't dare to look at Si Xiangyan's expression, let alone wait for her answer, she just wanted to find a quiet place to hide, lick her wound, and recover slowly.It's a pity that her thoughts fell through because of Si Xiangyan's actions, her body was hugged from behind by the other party, and she was forcibly pressed on the bed.Weng Linran looked at Si Xiangyan who was pressing on him, and stared at her in a daze.

"Weng Linran, I have always been a selfish person. You are my subordinate, let alone sell you to others, even if I want your life, it is a matter of course. If I don't want to, there is no reason to force me to do my job. Something I don't want to do." If the first half of the sentence made Weng Linran's heart break, then the second half of the sentence was like a flash of light, allowing her to regain hope in an instant.Seeing Si Xiangyan's approaching face, Weng Linran raised the corners of his mouth, but cried out.It turned out that what happened now was not a dream, but a reality.

"Listen, I never feel that I owe you anything. I kiss you simply because I like you and want to kiss you."