lover's self-cultivation

Perhaps it was because of being drenched in cold water in the hotel for too long, Weng Linran's high fever this time came on quickly and violently. Even after taking antipyretics, his body temperature was still fluctuating, hovering between 39 and 40 degrees.Worried about her condition, Si Xiangyan naturally didn't go back to the room to rest, but stayed in Weng Linran's room all night, wiped her face with a handkerchief, and moistened her lips with cotton swabs from time to time.

Doing these actions can be regarded as considerate actions, and I have been busy all night.It was only then that Si Xiangyan realized that her behavior at the moment was so unlike herself.Over the years, Si Xiangyan has always been so arrogant and superior. She has strength, beauty and all kinds of willful capital, and those men who like her and pursue her also hold her like a jewel in their palm.

Hearing those men pretending to care about him every day, Si Xiangyan smiled on his face, but sneered in his heart.She regards them as tools and playthings to pass the time, changing them when she gets bored, and never does this kind of thing like other girlfriends taking care of her boyfriend.However, seeing Weng Linran lying weakly on the bed at this moment, her face was pale, and she frowned tightly because she was too uncomfortable.

The more she watched, the more sad and guilty Si Xiangyan felt.She did do something wrong today. If she really wanted to push Weng Linran away, drive her away, reject her, or just kill her, Si Xiangyan also believed that in Weng Linran's heart, She would rather get rid of her by herself than give her to other men a hundred times better.

With a long sigh in her heart, Si Xiangyan leaned her head on the side of the bed, quietly thinking about what she should do next, and how to make Weng Linran feel better.Her tired body felt tired at this moment, she thought about it, and fell asleep like this.

"Hmm..." Si Xiangyan slept until dawn, but Weng Linran woke up before her.After moving his stiff body, Weng Linran sensed the presence of another person in the room the moment he opened his eyes.The smell on her body was still so familiar and pleasant, but at this moment, she was not as high and high as usual, but lay down on the bed in a bit of a mess and fell asleep peacefully.

Although his throat was aching from thirst, Weng Linran didn't want to make any big noises and wake Si Xiangyan up.She lowered her head, quietly looked at the other side's pretty side face and smiled, but the smile was forced.It is impossible not to admit that Weng Linran's heart warmed when he woke up early in the morning and saw Si Xiangyan here.But when he thought of the reason why she was here, the cheering mood immediately froze as if being drenched in a bucket of cold water.

Everything about last night is still vivid in my mind, Weng Linran can't imagine what she would have faced if she hadn't threatened death at that time.And when it came to Si Xiangyan's consent to all of this, a familiar soreness appeared in his heart.The pain made Weng Linran unable to straighten his body, curled up in pain on the bed, and woke up Si Xiangyan who was in a light sleep.

"You're awake, how do you feel?" Awakened by Weng Linran's movement, Si Xiangyan raised his head and saw her clutching her chest in pain, her eyes closed and her head buried under her arms.Si Xiangyan didn't expect this to happen, and she didn't know that Weng Linran was injured elsewhere. At this moment, seeing her in such a uncomfortable state, her first reaction was to call a doctor, but she was stopped by the other party wrist.

"No need." Weng Linran's voice was hoarse, and even his palms were cold.Seeing that she was struggling to get the water on the table, Si Xiangyan hurriedly helped her up, poured some hot water and mixed it with the cold water, and fed her slowly.In the process of drinking water, Si Xiangyan found that Weng Linran still refused to open his eyes. After drinking, he lay peacefully on the bed without even looking at himself.

The situation at this moment is somewhat embarrassing, Si Xiangyan is not going to leave, and it is not right to stay.Just when she was at a loss, Weng Linran suddenly opened his eyes and turned to look at himself.Her brown eyes contained some traces of resistance, but more disappointment.Looking at her with such eyes, Si Xiangyan suddenly felt that his body was heavy, and that weight came from his love for Weng Linran.

"Can you let me stay alone for a while?" Weng Linran asked, but issued an order to evict the guest.After hearing her words, Si Xiangyan frowned slightly, hesitating a little.At this time, we really shouldn't let the sick Weng Linran stay in the room alone, what's more, her condition is not only a fever, but also likely to have other symptoms.Thinking of the ointment Dr. Chen left for her last night, Si Xiangyan thought about it, took it out and put it beside the bed.

"The doctor will kick you for an injection at night. This is the first time a woman has used this medicine. If you feel uncomfortable, you can apply some." Si Xiangyan never knew that she would be so poor at words, and it took a long time to come up with such a euphemism. She said that, but she found that after she said this, Weng Linran trembled all over, and then turned around and looked at herself speechlessly.

There was deeper disappointment in her eyes than before, as if she had thousands of words to say to herself, but they were buried in her heart after all.Such eyes are too distressing, and the smile forced from the corner of Weng Linran's mouth is even more distressing.Only then did Si Xiangyan understand that no matter how euphemistic she said, she just sprinkled a handful of salt on Weng Linran's wound.

"Si Xiangyan." After a long time, there was a voice in the silent room.Si Xiangyan remembered that this was the first time she called herself that after meeting Weng Linran.There was a faint crystal halo in her eyes, which was the appearance after the accumulation of tears, but Weng Linran was still holding back the tears from overflowing her eyes, even holding back until her body began to tremble.

"What happened last night was my fault." Si Xiangyan apologized so seriously for the first time in his life, looking at her face full of guilt and distress that shouldn't have been there.Weng Linran thought that he was hallucinating, but then he laughed even more desperately.That's right, she should have thought of it long ago.Since Si Xiangyan was going to pick him up at the hotel last night, he just changed his mind temporarily.But even so, Weng Linran still couldn't untie his knot.What's more, everything Si Xiangyan did to her now was due to her guilt towards herself, right?

"Si Xiangyan, do you think that I am so lowly that you can easily get it back with just a word of sorry? I never care what you think of me, or how long it will take me to let you Like me. I just hope you, when you use me again, remember my goodness, don't just treat me as a piece of garbage that is used and thrown away."

"My love for you may not be worth mentioning to you. You can not want it, or you can kill me to maintain your dignity. But I really can't accept it. You treat my love as a joke and treat me as a joke. Use your body as a bargaining chip."

After Weng Linran finished speaking, she slowly closed her eyes, tears slid down the corners of her eyes, dripping on the pillow with a muffled sound.The sound was like an alarm bell, constantly beating in Weng Linran's heart.She told herself, give up, give up Si Xiangyan, and go back to the old Weng Linran.But... thinking this way in his head, but his heart was biting that love and refused to let go.

"Weng Linran, I didn't take you as a joke. If you must think so, I have nothing to say." Although I feel sorry for Weng Linran, Si Xiangyan does not allow her personality to be rejected.Weng Linran didn't even know how uneasy and uneasy he felt when he made that decision.

Since that morning, she has been drinking all the time, trying to use alcohol to numb herself, let her forget the so-called feelings, and become that Si Xiangyan who doesn't need love but power.But she failed, even with so many methods, she couldn't deny a fact.That is, she seemed to really like Weng Linran, and began to care about her feelings, her sadness and happiness, joys and sorrows.

"Stop talking." Hearing Si Xiangyan's words, Weng Linran raised the corners of his lips mockingly, and turned his body to one side.Seeing that she didn't want to talk any more, Si Xiangyan got up and opened the door to leave.With the sound of closing the door, Weng Linran tightly grasped the ointment that Si Xiangyan gave him, and slammed it against the door.

Si Xiangyan has her pride, she doesn't allow herself to say that she's wrong, even at this moment, she doesn't want to say a soft word to comfort herself.Weng Linran covered his eyes with his hands, his fingers trembling constantly.Even though he had expected that the pace of chasing Si Xiangyan would be very difficult, he never expected that it would cause such pain in his heart.

She, Weng Linran, could give everything for Si Xiangyan, but she couldn't lose the last bit of human dignity.What she wanted was Si Xiangyan's sincere love, not an appendage caused by guilt.

"Yanyan, what should I do with you? I'm tired, really tired."