burial

When I was approaching the school gate, I saw Chu Zhi'an standing there with one hand in his pocket, frowning, even with such an ugly expression, he was extremely conspicuous in the crowd.

The girls who came and went were all looking at him, and they didn't dare to approach him because of his intimidating aura.

When I walked over, I just heard Chu Zhian's impatient voice, without a trace of warmth: "My girlfriend doesn't like me adding other people's WeChat."

The pretty face of the girl across from him turned green and then turned white, and she turned around and left.

The previously suppressed emotions suddenly dissipated a lot, I smiled, and patted his shoulder from behind him: "Can you add a WeChat account, brother?"

When he saw me, he frowned even tighter, and I smiled at him: "Why do you still have this expression when your girlfriends are here?"

He raised his hand as if he wanted to touch my face, but he restrained himself and put it down because there were too many people at the school gate: "Didn't you say it's okay? What's the matter with the eyes? Lied to me?"

I walked inside with him: "Brother Xiao Fei was so kind to us when we were young, and this happened suddenly when we met for so many years. I was very sad, and I cried for a while. It's not like you don't know, my tear glands are relatively developed Well."

Chu Zhi'an must have thought of Lu Fei, he paused: "Why did he jump off the building, I remember he is quite fond of laughing."

"I don't know either," I lowered my eyes, "Don't even think about it, it's rude to inquire about the cause of someone's death."

In fact, I was afraid that he would ask people in the community. Although Chu Zhian is unlikely to do such a thing, I am still a little worried.His parents will definitely not take the initiative to mention it to him, and he basically won't go back. As long as he doesn't ask again, he will never know.

I seem to have become nervous to the point of nervousness, carefully guarding against every possibility of losing Chu Zhian.

I didn't feel relieved until I saw Chu Zhian nodding his head.

When we had reached a relatively remote corner of the school, he stopped and touched my red and swollen eyes lightly. His tone was very fierce, but his eyes were full of distress: "How many times have I said that if something happens, you must Tell me right away, huh?"

Before I could speak, he sighed again: "Don't be so disrespectful to yourself, An An, you don't know how much I love you."

Feeling warm in my heart, I took his hand and interlocked his fingers: "It won't happen in the future."

He flicked my forehead with his other hand, and said helplessly, "I don't believe you, little liar."

I smiled at him, and held his hand up and down.

I started to suffer from insomnia all night. I had it some time ago, but it was not so serious. It was so severe that even if I fell asleep occasionally, I would still have nightmares.My appetite is getting worse and worse, but I try my best to eat deliciously in front of Chu Zhian.

Those painful feelings that kept coming up kept haunting me and made me feel very depressed.

It wasn't until one time that I couldn't help but cut my arm with a knife and saw the blood dripping on the table, I didn't realize that maybe something was wrong with me.

I didn't tell anyone, I didn't go to the hospital, I acted perfectly normal in front of people.For me, Chu Zhian is my medicine, as long as I stay with him, those bad emotions will not haunt me.

I no longer hurt myself with a knife, I am afraid that Chu Zhian will feel distressed if he finds out.Every time I feel unbearable, I will kowtow to the wall, as if this can relieve my pain.

When I was a sophomore, my parents began to frequently ask me if there was any girl I could get along with at school, and when I would get a girlfriend... This kind of conversation made me breathless, and the strong panic and guilt almost made me collapse.

After Uncle Chu was discharged from the hospital, the relationship between Chu Zhian and his parents almost fell to the freezing point. They even threatened to sever the relationship, saying when we broke up, when they would recognize this son again.

The relationship between our two families has also taken a turn for the worse. Every time I hear my mother nagging about how Auntie Chu is finding excuses not to come to my house, I will pretend to be natural and make excuses to diverge. After a long time, my mother will not bring up this topic anymore. .

I discussed with Chu Zhian that I plan to go through four years of college first, and then start to confess to my parents slowly after working and having a financial foundation. Let them have a psychological preparation first, and then spend time with them, time. After a long time, I will always agree, otherwise it will take a lifetime.

But sometimes, what should come will come again, and you can't even guard against it. It seems that fate insists on seeing you collapse, but you can't do anything about it.

That day was Friday, and I was supposed to go home according to the day, but I didn't want to be separated from Chu Zhi'an at all, and he was the one who sent me home after dawdling.

He stopped at a place two intersections away from the community. It was already dark, and the surrounding road was quiet, only the dim lights of the street lights were still on.

He put my hand in his palm, pinched me and smiled: "Why are you getting more and more attached to me, huh?"

I looked at him dissatisfied, and he smiled and hugged me in his arms and gently rubbed the back of my neck to coax me: "I just like An An to cling to me, I wish I could."

I snorted, seeing that it was too late, I raised my head and kissed him on the mouth: "I'm leaving, it's getting dark, be careful when you go back."

Chu Zhian nodded, cupped my face with both hands and kissed me: "Go back, don't make uncle and aunt wait too long."

I turned around and walked towards the community. After walking a few steps, I turned around and found that Chu Zhian was still there. He waved his hand at me when he saw me turning around. with me.

My heart warmed up, and I muttered in a low voice: "Fool." But the corners of my mouth raised uncontrollably.

As soon as I entered the door, I was sensitive to find that the atmosphere in the house was not right. There was no voice of my mother nagging while doing housework, and there was no voice of my father commenting a few words while watching TV. It was quiet and weird.

After changing my slippers, I went into the living room and found that my parents were sitting on the sofa. My mother's eyes were red and swollen, and she had obviously cried. My father had a calm face, as if he was suppressing his anger. Blue veins burst out on the body.

"Your mother said that you didn't come back too late, and the food was cold..." My dad suddenly said, his voice was terribly flat in the quiet living room, "I thought we hadn't been to your school yet, so I wanted to go and have a look."

I thought of those intimate actions on the road, and a string in my mind snapped.

I don't think I will ever forget this look. At this moment, I am a disobedient child, depraved.

"Dad, Mom..." I yelled with difficulty, the slightest fear coming from the bottom of my heart made my voice a little hoarse.

My father's suppressed emotions suddenly erupted. He stood up and walked in front of me and slapped me without hesitation: "Shame on me!"

This slap was so hard that I was shaken for a while before I stood still. There was a scream in my ears, and my mind went blank, with no ability to think at all.

Teeth broke the corners of my mouth, and I tasted blood.

His chest heaved violently, and he couldn't even breathe steadily. The palm that hit me was trembling, and he took a deep breath and said, "I should have thought about it a long time ago, did you get together with Chu Zhi'an the morning when Wang Lan's family had an accident?" Is it?! The Chu family doesn’t associate with our family because of you two?! Isn’t it?!”

I didn't speak, and knelt heavily on the ground, silently expressing my answer.

I heard heavier breathing from above, and my mother's crying broke down in my ears.

After being silent for a century, my dad began to walk towards the door: "I want to ask how their family teaches their son!"

In an instant, extreme fear swept over me, and I subconsciously grabbed my dad's arm, my fingers trembling all the time: "No dad! It was Chu Zhi'an, who I liked first! It was me! I started first!"

My dad turned around to look at me in disbelief, as if he had received an unbearable blow, every word was squeezed out from between his teeth: "Su An! Tell me one more thing! You don't even want to lose face for a man? !"

My mother knelt beside me, weeping uncontrollably, and slapped me all over the body: "How could you do such a thing?! What did you tell us to do! What did you ask mom to do!"

I knelt there in a daze, my spine bent down, and I felt that every blow hit my heart, and I couldn't breathe or speak because of the pain.

My dad took a few heavy breaths, and suddenly pulled me up and took me into the room: "You just stay in the room for me to reflect! You don't have to go to school, I will ask for leave for you! When will you think it through? When will it come out! There is no homosexual in my old Su family who likes men!"

I froze and let my dad drag me into the room. He forcibly took my phone away, and then slammed the door to go out. The next moment I heard the door was locked, and the closed door blocked the crying outside.