No one knows loneliness better than me

1.

"So you want to try with me?"

I can't remember exactly how many times I've been on a blind date, anyway, the ending is quite sad every time.

"I'm sorry!"

I looked back sideways, and the three gods in charge of the stars were playing cards happily.Greedy Wolf triumphantly threw down the two cards in his hand: "I have, Wang Zha, hehe."

Every blind date, no matter how beautiful the location is, someone will destroy the scenery.

Your mother... Mazuo Lu Feikuai...

I endured the urge to grit my teeth and suck blood, and continued to smile at the little fairy official, definitely more kind than his grandfather.

The little fairy official was trembling, and almost didn't cry, he shed tears of emotion with a wow, and then ran away, calling for his mother while running.

Is there a mistake?Anyway, he is also a person in the hundreds of years old, how can he cry when he cries?

I can only vent my grievances on the three card players: "It's all your fault for spoiling the scenery, otherwise I will be successful this time!"

The three gods in Xingxiu Palace froze in their card playing movements, and looked at me blankly.

After a long time, Beidou comforted him: "Don't worry, there won't be a worse scenery than you."

He spoke so sincerely that I was too embarrassed to hit him.

2.

The red ropes in the Marriage Hall lead from east to west, leaving me with a limited place to stay. After a short distance, I abruptly jumped out of the break dance.

"Okay!" Yuelao put down the work in his hands and applauded.

He has been dazzled all these years, and when he was gesticulating with the red rope, I was sweating for all sentient beings.

Ignoring Yuelao's guilt-ridden applause, I questioned: "The promise is that you come here because of the name? Why do my blind dates always look like prostitutes when they see me?"

Old Yue coughed twice, and finally told the truth: "Actually, he came here anonymously."

I:"……"

3.

Passing Liuli Road, I saw the singles list again that made me hate to the bone and gnash my teeth.

The singles list changes every March, and it changes every few years. Yan Wanglei and I are the only ones who can't shake the top spot.

All the immortals split and reunited, but the two titles of Shashen Hades are always a pair, shining brightly on the singles list.

The singles list was created by Yuelao, who said it was for the convenience of everyone looking for a suitable single partner.

I think this is entirely set up by Yuelao in order to reduce work pressure and be lazy.

I heard from Qiongqi that Yuelao's ball of red wool was knotted and entangled, which could not be untied in a short time.

I don't know why, but as soon as I heard it, I knew who the culprit was. Yuelao might soon offer a reward for arresting Qiongqi.

In a blink of an eye, Qiongqi disappeared, and when I found out that the thread of the new robe was hooked up, Qiongqi had slipped away to nowhere.

This may be the nature of felines.

I sympathized with Yuelao in less than a day, because I found that I was the most unlucky person, who was publicly executed in public.

From then on, the question I asked Yue Lao the most changed from "When will I find someone for me" to "When will I be able to remove the singles list".

Yuelao stroked his gray beard, and managed to squeeze out a bit of gloom from his happy expression: "No way. I know that my KPI has increased as soon as the singles list is released, and I will continue to scroll and play the top [-]. I don’t know how many couples I have made with the first three big gold letters. I’d rather demolish ten temples than destroy a single marriage. The evil god will bear with it.”

As a "nail household", I almost couldn't hold back my hands, and I was even more depressed.

Yuelao said meaningfully: "Don't worry Shashen, you are special after all."

I can go to yours!

In fact, over the years, Yueyue has matched me with tower bridge partners who started with three digits, but none of them succeeded. After the blind date, there are many people who cry for their parents and mothers, and those who are frightened and faint. This caused Yueyue to misunderstand me and think that I have a special hobby.

It can't be my fault, I have used all kinds of routines badly, and I haven't been able to talk ten sentences.

I even tried the domineering president style that has become popular recently, and the effect is indescribable.

4.

The afterglow of the setting sun burns the clouds into orange, and huge maple trees stand on top of the bright clouds.

I pressed the little fairy official on the tree trunk and confessed forcefully. Before I could say my lines, I was wronged by the newly promoted Tianshen Lu who had ascended.

"Let him go!"

When the road saw injustice, he roared, and the ground trembled three times.

As soon as I turned around, I saw a burly man with a beard on his face, Kong Wu's powerful body, solid arms, and a big pie face full of rough sense of justice.

Brother, did you come down from Liangshan?

I was stunned and wanted to cry, but Xiao Xianguan was also stunned and wept with joy.

Then the two of them are together.

5.

Apart from widows and widows like me, the God Realm also has a lot of flirtatious gods. After all, it has been thousands of years, and it is really boring to be a moth.

I disdain Fengshen Fuxu when he has many suitors.

Tch, I haven't boasted about the glorious deeds that tens of millions of people have fallen for me.

Falling is really falling, pouring is really falling, the kind of falling that you can't get up after lying down.

6.

I, a young talent in the era of fighting between immortals and demons, is now an older single dog, a well-deserved evil spirit in the heavens, and I have a bad reputation, so I have a thin waist, long legs, good looks, and I have been single for more than 1000 years.

All the strange men and women in the mysterious world said that my bones are strange, and I am a rare catastrophe.

Anyway, I haven’t heard any good things about it myself. Everyone said that I would be better off without the ganoderma lucidum. At least I’ve lived like this for more than 1000 years.

I can only hehe.

At the beginning of the war, when I hooked my fingers, some people were fascinated, handsome men and beautiful women were delivered to my mansion by truck.

It's a pity that I was righteous at the time and had no mood for love, so I refused all of them. I, who took the initiative to seduce me, did not mess around, and I was really a role model in the heavens.

Now that the Three Realms are at peace, I just lie flat and let myself be ridiculed.

Ah, the time of love and peace.

7.

Yuelao told me that your marriage is in the mortal world.I believed it, and then gained a vote of eyes that looked at the mentally retarded.

After thinking about it, I should go to the mortal world, maybe Yue Lao is right, at least no mortal will be scared to cry by me.

8.

I said before that the heavens are boring, so I always like to play games in the mortal world. In order to avoid cultural derailment and produce something shocking, I have to listen to the training in front of Fairy Wenhua before I go down to the mortal world.

After reading the paperwork, I feel a little troublesome.

"Do you have to abide by the regulations above? Last time Fengshen went to the human world, there were not so many rules and regulations."

Fairy Wenhua smiled softly: "If you stay in the world for more than half a year, you must abide by it."

"Then if you can't fly, you can only walk?"

I'm here to fall in love, not to stage a journey to learn from the Western Paradise.

"You can drive, remember to test your driver's license first."

car?

It may be a magic weapon in the mortal world, similar to a gourd flying carpet.

Only when I arrived in the mortal world did I realize that there are magic weapons that cannot be activated by thoughts.

9.

After a month of study, I finally stepped into the exam room.

In front of me is a large screen with "hemiplegia", and the parts that can be used are all in different shades.

I was holding the phone in my right hand, and on the screen was a long and updated novel about cultivating immortals that has become popular recently.This is something I've heard of in heaven, and it works fairly well.

The right wrist was suddenly grabbed by someone, with a bit of force.I turned my head and saw that it was the young man who was learning how to drive with me. He looked... that kind of weird good-looking.

Min You: "Don't be nervous, relax."

I saw that his teeth were starting to "crack" and did not speak. He silently switched the phone to his left hand and continued reading novels.

10.

The coach said that the person controls the car, not the car controls the person.But I think that car is my uncle. I care about every vibration and speed of it, for fear that it will stop belching when it turns off the engine.

It's a strange feeling that the old god, who is so old, is paralyzed in the driver's seat with a resigned and indifferent expression on life and death.

"[-] points will be deducted from the pressure line of the left rear wheel."

"Failed the exam."

"Uploading data."

The broadcast in the examination room was very professional, and it was smoother than the driving method of my old bull pulling a broken car.

The saddest thing is that Min You has passed, but I have not.When he left the driving school, he smiled at me, his whole body was shining golden in the sun, and his teeth were particularly white.

11.

The road to find Ji Yanqing became more and more desolate. Occasionally, a car would speed by. This is a place that even dogs don't want to come.

It's hard to imagine that the god who descended to earth with such awesomeness back then was huddled in this dilapidated place.

The person who came to open the door was so bulky that he had dark circles under his eyes, big underpants, and flip flops, which almost completely filled the door frame.

Ji Yanqing seemed to be poisoned, more than twice as swollen as before.

Looking at his chubby appearance, I was a little dazed, and blurted out: "What poison?"

"Lonely."

Me: "Stupid."

The greasy and rancid smell in the room made me feel like I was being squeezed into a stinking can, making me feel sick.

"Sit down, you're welcome." Ji Yanqing greeted casually, grabbed a handful of French fries on the table, pressed them into the ketchup, and stuffed them down in one gulp.

I suddenly wanted to leave. Visiting relatives and friends is not suitable for me.

"How do you live?"

When I saw him waiting to die, I felt that I should remind him, but Ji Yanqing didn't seem to understand what I meant, and he said, "Fortune-telling, I'm old."

Ji Yanqing looked at me: "What about you?"

Seeing that I was silent, he gave free rein to his imagination: "Are you also good at what you do? Killing pigs?"

God damn pig! I was the first to sharpen the knife and shout at you!

I said succinctly: "The face can be eaten."

Ji Yanqing suddenly stared at the fried food on the table in a daze, and took a sip of Fat Boy Happy Water, feeling like drinking beer.

"What are you doing here?"

His voice became muffled, and I could tell that he was beginning to feel sad, probably because of the beauty of his early death.

"Falling in love. Those in the heavenly world either ran away or were abducted. I have no fate with me. Come to the mortal world to draw a real one."

"Then you go to study. The feelings in the student days are the purest. There is no money, fame and fortune. You will worry about the other party's accident because you haven't replied for a long time. Having the other party is like owning the whole world."

I wondered: "I'm worried even if I don't reply to the news after half a day after work? It may also be suspicious, dissatisfied and angry."

Ji Yanqing put on a detached posture, but now he looks like a high-ranking man, exuding a trace of aura: "I'm too busy with work, I don't care about you."

"Reliable?" I have to carefully confirm the important things in my life.

Ji Yanqing packed the ticket and said: "Love, the young master is the strongest on the surface."

Under the guidance of Ji Yanqing, I managed to live a life of waking up early to memorize words and staying up late to study papers.

The college classmates are all swaying their youth, but I am raising my arms and shouting, who will save me, this little fish!

I suspect that Ji Yanqing is taking revenge on me.

12.

Before Ji Yanqing was poisoned, no, before he gained weight, he was still a suave and handsome guy.

I said this not because I had any unreasonable thoughts about him, but purely to prove that I didn't go on a blind date with anyone.

It was only a few months later that I found out that Ji Yanqing was just a second-rate love brain who was hurt by love and turned to Fei Zhai Road.

I deeply realized that if Ji Yanqing wanted to be the strongest in love, he could only go to the fields.