No one knows loneliness better than me

22.

"Are you a ghost who just died?"

"That's no nonsense." The little ghost pulled up his trousers zipper, and then hurriedly made excuses, "I mean, the adults even said nonsense very well, and it contained truth, which benefited the ghost a lot."

I:"……"

I really didn't expect that I had already become so famous that even the kid who had just died had heard of it.

To this day, I have given up showing a spring-like smile. Anyway, in the eyes of ghosts, it is twisted and hideous, and in the eyes of immortals, I have malicious intentions, hiding a knife in my smile.

The word "wronged" has already become a concubine's tiredness, so let it go with the wind.

The little ghost was still muttering: "When I get to the underworld, I will report black and white impermanence for negligence of duty."

I kindly reminded: "You still worry about whether they will interfere with your defecation first and affect the appearance of the city."

Little ghost: "..."

23.

The roommates in the dormitory were snoring and drooling, and there was thunder and heavy rain outside the dormitory.

The little ghost and I squatted at the base of the wall and complained to each other, waiting for Black and White Wuchang to find out that he was a laggard.

"My lord, what are you going to do in heaven? Just go down to earth, why can't you think about going to school?"

Love hurts the brain!

I was in so much pain in my heart, I said calmly on the face: "You can't say it, you can't say it."

Unfathomable and well-placed, he is a god after all, with the greatest face in the world.

The little ghost showed a look of admiration in conjunction with "can't say, can't say".

Alas, they are all poor children who did not bring umbrellas on rainy days.

I suddenly felt pity for this simple-minded little devil, so simple and deceitful.

The rain was still falling, and I couldn't help looking up to the sky and screaming: "Can you attack with some backbone!"

The rain stopped and I stayed.

isn't it?

24.

It rained heavily yesterday, and the speakers on the street yelling "The boss ran away with my sister-in-law" couldn't be used, and I didn't hear the sound today.

When it was almost dawn, Black and White Wuchang took the little ghost away, and I asked who the Dragon King married, so vigorous, is it seafood?

Hei Wuchang let out a "huh": "That's too fierce. I ran away with my lover on the day of the wedding. Do you think the stabbing is exciting?"

That would be so exciting, I thought.

Bai Wuchang gave Hei Wuchang a slap in the face, and bowed respectfully to me: "I will resign." After speaking, he led the kid and the cursing Hei Wuchang away.

25.

When Min You came to see me, of course I was sneezing, and he glanced at me: "Where did you go last night?"

I told him what happened last night.

"How many years ago did this happen, why don't you put it aside for archaeology?"

Hold……?

Spring goes and autumn comes, cold comes and summer goes, the heavens are still so unreliable.

I picked up the scroll with black lines all over my head and read it again. I removed the jade stick from the scroll, and only then did I find the year engraved on it.

What kind of benevolence and righteousness have allowed me to get along with the gods for so long!

26.

Soon, I changed from Jiulouyu to a trainee who can't sing and dance because I had to adapt to the task.

Sitting down in front of Min You who was about to cramp from laughing, he said dejectedly, "I can't even pass the primary election?"

I'm afraid that my dancing posture that seems to be twitching all over my body will make the judges use first aid to carry me away, and the singing voice that will make the judges want to use first aid to save myself.

God, let me go, let the judges go too!

"It's okay, the face can be eaten."

This sentence is so familiar, I was silent, but my heart was crying.

Gan!

27.

On the day of the interview, I saw Min You sitting on the judging panel, and besides being full of question marks, I wanted to beat him up.

A cry from the depths of my soul, it's not fair!

I sang: "I handed Yama a cigarette, and he sent me to the west."[1]

Min You sat on the judging panel and clapped happily.

I was out of tune the whole time, and Min You commented that I have a unique gender.

My tone-deaf singing is worse than crying. Min You commented that my voice is loud and full of energy.

My waist was so twisted that it seemed that it would break in the next moment. Min You commented that I have a good waist, legs, and body, and I am a man who can be made.

Not just the other judges, even I was taken aback.

You can save some face for me!

Later, I miraculously passed the interview.

It's more than a miracle, it's a disaster, what kind of program group will choose people like this, don't make money, and do charity?

I can't wait to pack up the judges and take them away to the hospital to have a look at their eyes and ears. Even I know how poor I am.

It didn't take me long to see why the judges were behaving weirdly.

Min You is the king of Hades, dealing with the affairs of the underworld. Many affairs are related to the human world, and business trips to the human world are indispensable. He has so many vests in the human world that he can form a team.

On the day of the interview, Min You, who was stern and selfless and didn’t bow down for five buckets of rice, praised me against his will. He was full of praise when the other judges heard that something was wrong. Tongtong gave the call.

I didn't expect it, I really didn't expect it, everyone's imagination is rich every day.

It is worth mentioning that, I heard that Princess Zhunlong, who absconded on the day of her wedding, had hung out with her adulterer outside the city gate for seven days and seven nights. Cried.

28.

The relationship between heaven and earth is chaotic, and the main reason is that old people don't die, they have nothing to do, and their idlers hurt.

It's not like the bearded god who broke my marriage when he saw the injustice on the road that day. The person in front of me was keen to rob me of my marriage, and he was unintentional. He deliberately robbed his partner and showed off his power in front of me like he wanted to prove how attractive he is.

After thinking about it, my charm is still relatively large. In order to dance in front of me, this guy has chased me to the mortal world.

This unnamed god is called Feng Guilai. Of the three words, only the word "crazy" makes sense.

Feng Guilai looked around: "Didn't you come down to study?"

"I won't read it anymore." I really have nothing to say to him, so I hope he will get out of here quickly.

Now I'm back in my rented house, and the recording of the show hasn't started yet, so I don't need to live in the crew.

Feng Guilai was picky about my house again, as if I begged him to come here.

"Is there something wrong?" I said coldly, "Go away if it's nothing."

"Lin Zhi, I figured it out." Feng Guilai said this very sincerely and sincerely, saying that when a person starts calling another person by their full name, they are either playing tricks on you or expressing their love.

Among other things, just the look in Feng Gui's eyes when he looked at me made my scalp tingle with embarrassment.

"The reason why I keep robbing you of your blind date is because I like you."

Then do I still have to thank you for liking me?

"Forget it." I suddenly felt that Feng Guilai was extremely disgusting, especially with that tone of charity, you feel a little guilty, right?It has made me lonely and widowed for so many years, what do you want me to say now that you like me lightly?Want me to be thankful?ridiculous!

Feng Guilai showed an unbelievable expression, almost saying that I don't know how to flatter.

With a cold face, I said, "I already have someone I like, the one who must."

"Who?" Feng Guilai gnashed his teeth when he uttered this word.

I didn't think much, and blurted out: "Yan Wang." It may be because I get along with Min You a lot recently, and he has the same feelings for Xiaobai as I do.

Feng Guilai looked behind me, his face turned blue and purple.

I'll look back, cheeks burning.

Min You, who was confessed, was the calmest of the three, looking at us inexplicably.

Isn't it impossible to use spells in the human world?Why is my door useless?

Gate: I don't want to lose face!

My phone rang, and the note was Ji Yanqing.

Ji Yanqing's voice was full of kidney deficiency: "I have something to tell you."

Thanks Ji Yanqing! Thanks Martin Cooper! Mobile phone! Great invention!

I smeared the soles of my feet and ran away, leaving Min You and Feng Guilai looking at each other in dismay, embarrassing each other.

29.

I was stunned when I saw Ji Yanqing, this kid lost weight again, and after losing weight, he became handsome and suave again.

"Slimming so fast? I dare you to blow up before, and you went back after getting an injection."

Ji Yanqing's face darkened, and he almost tore down the door and threw it at my face: "Stop driving."

I reacted for three seconds, was shocked for three seconds, and sympathized for three seconds.

"No, you are a god, so you can stick it if others say it?"

When Ji Yanqing cried, he looked like the two hundred catties fat man from before.

"I heard that the goddess was drugged, and I ran to save people, but the goddess begged and refused to drug people. I ran to save people by mistake, and rushed to give someone an injection."

"No, no, more than one injection, wow."

"Hey, I'm obviously a victim, but the goddess still said that I was picking on the leak."

"The most frightening thing is that that person is actually responsible for me!"

"Wait, so you are a god, and you will be stabbed if you say you are stabbed?"

This is not in line with common sense, and his long paragraph still did not solve my doubts.

Ji Yanqing looked up at the ceiling at 45°: "The one who holds the pen in the underworld."

"Oh, judge." I was a little curious again, "So what did he use to stab you?"

Ji Yanqing roared: "Lin Zhi, you fucking shut up!"

Alas, am I curious for the general public? It is said that there are many tricks in the underworld.

Blame it on the damned thirst for knowledge.

"Can you deliver a letter to the underworld for me?"

I asked cautiously, "What letter?"

Seeing my cowardice, Ji Yanqing rolled his eyes: "Can I still harm you?"

Yes, that is very possible.

30.

I still went to deliver a letter to Ji Yanqing, who made him my rare good brother, I even kicked him.

The judge opened the letter, his face livid.

I suddenly realized that it was a letter of divorce.

Divorce? !

Go to your misery script!

Unexpectedly, unexpectedly, Ji Yanqing, you are a married man!

The judge left angrily, and I stayed where I was.

It wasn't until Min You and Feng Guilai appeared in front of me again that I was stunned for a while before I came back to my senses.

Before I could ask, Min You told me very kindly: "He came to borrow money."

Wait, come to the underworld to borrow money, aren't you borrowing coins?

31.

The ghosts and gods came out with a tray full of ingots.

Min You took the tray from the hands of ghosts and gods, and threw the things into the Wangyou River with a "plop".

Feng Guilai's eyes widened: "You you you!"

"So what if I just throw real money into the water?" Min You raised the corners of his mouth and said viciously, "I just love to hear that."

Min You: "Feng Lai, I advise you to get out immediately, otherwise I will make you regret coming to me to find a sense of existence."

I really wanted to remind Min You that he was called by the wrong name, but before I could say it, I thought about it.

Good guy, this is a secret poking threat, the big villain is different.

It's immoral, but cool!

The author has something to say:

[1] The spoof version of "The Big Sedan Chair"