salt by salt

The driver took me back to my residence in Songcheng. I got out of the car and saw the light in the living room was on through the floor-to-ceiling windows. I felt a sore feeling in my heart.

When he wanted to enter the door, he found that he came out of Xu's house too quickly, his coat was left on the sofa, and the key was naturally not with him.I rang the doorbell, and Song Cheng quickly opened the door. He was startled for a few seconds when he saw me standing at the door, and he hugged me into his arms, with an urgent and angry tone: "You don't want to die? How cold is it in the first month?" you do not know?"

When I was wrapped in a blanket and sat on the sofa, his tone was still a little annoyed: "The driver didn't do things carefully, and he didn't know to give you a coat in the car—"

I said, "Don't blame him. He mentioned it to me. I didn't wear clothes when the car was warm. I got out of the car and wanted to see you soon, so I forgot about it."

Song Cheng withdrew his cold expression, helplessly scraped the tip of my nose, then kissed my slightly cold lips, stood up and said, "I'll get you some soup to warm your stomach."

I took his hand and looked up at him: "I don't want to eat for now. Stay with me for a while, okay?"

Song Cheng sighed, he was already half a head taller than me, and I was thin and weak after illness, so I was able to be hugged in his arms.I didn't resist, and leaned against him obediently, feeling the tight and warm muscles under my palms.He kissed my cheek and asked softly, "Is it because of your mother or Mr. Xu that you are in a bad mood?"

I laughed: "You know more about the Xu family than I do, why don't you guess?"

He said seriously, "I guess it's your mother."

"Why?" I tilted my head, "It's actually Grandpa who makes me feel the most upset."

"Because Junyan, you will only be swayed by people who care about you." Song Cheng looked at me, and there was sadness behind those gentle eyes, "I think that among these two people, you are unlikely to care about what Old Master Xu said to you. What's more, the Xu family is no longer in his hands, so there's no need for him to offend you."

"you guessed right."

Song Cheng's broad palm slowly stroked along my back, full of comfort.He leaned against my ear with a low voice: "What happened, can you tell me?"

There was no need to talk about this, but for some reason, things from a long time ago came out of my mouth.

My birth, the contempt and white eyes I received at Xu’s family, Xu Yucheng’s half-hearted and half-used assistance, my mother’s cold attitude, and Andrei… I omitted some parts that Song Cheng probably didn’t want to hear, and I almost made my own The growth experience was lifted out of the water like a fish, clearly ripped open, and spread out in front of him.

Now I can tell him with a smile, where the humbleness deeply rooted in my bones came from, what shaped my self-contempt, and why I longed to be loved so much in the past.

Lonely childhood, distorted youth, lingering shadows, forever absent parents.

I grew up in the dark and couldn't refuse any light.

Only those who have climbed out of the abyss can look back calmly. It turns out that one day I can easily say everything that has tortured me.

I felt lighthearted, but Song Cheng remained silent.

"When I was young, I always hoped that my mother would treat me better and would do everything for her. In fact, her love is not that important, and I have not let it go until now." I sighed, "I was so stupid before."

Song Cheng said: "Jun Yan, you are not stupid, you are too soft-hearted, thinking that she will be moved just like you."

I asked him, "Is soft-heartedness good or bad?"

"It's a bad thing to be soft-hearted to others, but it's a good thing to be soft-hearted to me." Song Cheng bent his eyes, and two shallow dimples appeared at the corners of his mouth.He was born in a well-rounded manner, intentionally put away his aggressive aura, and smiled like a sunny and gentle young man, "I'm so happy that you are willing to talk to me about this."

I looked at him, touched by that smile, and couldn't help turning my face away: "Don't mention these old sesame seeds and rotten millet. Today is Chinese New Year's Eve. Have you prepared any good dishes?"

"It's all what you like to eat." He kissed my forehead, "Are you feeling better now?"

I nodded, thought for a while, and added: "Thank you, Song Cheng, you are really considerate to me."

Song Cheng's smile gradually disappeared, he stroked my cheek, his long eyelashes covered the emotion in his eyes, he just touched my face over and over again.I don't know where I said something wrong, which made him unhappy.

After waiting for a long time, I heard him say: "Junyan, I will love you from now on, and I will treat you well for the rest of my life...in exchange for you to love me more, okay?"

"It doesn't sound like a loss-making business, you can think about it." I didn't want to answer this question, so I laughed and fooled, pinching Song Cheng's face, "Smile more, I don't know what to do when you make a cold face .”

He looked at me with a slight arc of his mouth.Although he was smiling, there was no smile on his face.

"It's Chinese New Year, what are you doing?" I pursed my lips, "Are you threatening? Do you want me to give you a satisfactory answer?"

Song Cheng didn't speak, he closed his eyes and sighed softly.Seeing him like this, I felt very uncomfortable, so I couldn't help biting my lips: "Who knows what will happen in the future. What's more, what you think is good to me is not the same as what I feel. Feelings are not a weight , you can’t just add it wherever you want...I..."

"Shh, I understand. Toshihiko, I understand."

He pressed his finger against my lips, and stared deeply at me with sad eyes: "I just want to hear you say a few sweet words, such as I love you, it's okay to be fake, just say a few words."

I know how uncomfortable Song Cheng is.No matter what you do, you can't completely own the other person, even if you are close at hand, it seems that you will lose it in the next second. This kind of taste that I chewed repeatedly in countless nights of tossing and turning.

I think, you will finally have to struggle in the swamp of not being loved until you are completely lost.

Song Cheng reached out and hugged me tightly: "Isn't it ridiculous? But I really want to hear it, Jun Yan, let me deceive myself for a while, okay?"

Seeing the vulnerable look on his face, I didn't feel any joy.

Yes, I am soft-hearted, unable to be hard-hearted and free from other people's misery.Hurting him hurts me so much, even if it means treating him in the same way.

But I expected that I would be shaken sooner or later, so I removed this uncontrollable factor from the plan in advance.The fallen cards push one by one, Song Cheng, even if I am moved by you at this moment, it will not hurt the sharp knife pointed at you in the end.

"Jun Yan, aren't you even willing to lie to me?"

He whispered softly, and his gentle tone sounded a little helpless.The person who has always been calm and forbearing, shed tears silently, only the hand around my waist trembling revealed a hint of clues.

"do not Cry."

I lowered my head to kiss him, tasted the saltiness of tears on the tip of my tongue, and suppressed all choking.

"Song City..."

My heart is broken and I can't break it any more for you.

The night was extremely chaotic, no one cared about the carefully prepared dishes, and the warm plan that was originally agreed was completely overturned.

Song Cheng seemed to want to vent the pain in his heart, and he did it with me time and time again.We moved from the sofa to the bed, and even leaned against the floor-to-ceiling windows once, making a mess everywhere.

He didn't have the strength to restrain himself, and every movement was heavy and ruthless. I was penetrated so deeply that I almost felt sick to my stomach. When I pressed my palm against my abdomen, I was even afraid that I would be pierced.My fingers gripping the bed sheet couldn't use any strength, I begged him to slow down, but I kicked my legs straight in the excruciating pleasure, and all the words were broken into pieces.

Sweaty forehead hair drooped, Song Cheng looked at me silently, supported my back to let me sit in his arms, and then slowly inserted the whole root.This was almost torture for me who just had an orgasm. My mind was overwhelmed by pity and guilt. I hugged his neck, breathed hard, and leaned over to kiss him flatteringly.

Song Cheng's breath paused, I thought he would be soothed by this action, and he would be more gentle with me next time, but this fantasy was shattered in the next second.He inserted more fiercely than before, robbed all the oxygen aggressively, entangled my tongue and didn't let go, the sound of sticky water echoed in my ears, and my eyes turned black in bursts.

Although the nipple ring was removed, the stimulated nipples were already unbearably sensitive, swollen and plump, red and obscene in color.Song Cheng just kneaded the plump part with a little force, and I cried out in mourning, desperately avoiding his fingers backwards.

Song Cheng didn't stop because of my evasion, but pinched my nipples, lowered his head to bite with his teeth, and even pulled between his teeth.I begged him intermittently not to do this, but my whole body was nailed to his genitals, and no matter how much I cried, I couldn't escape.

Normally, he would never be like this, no matter how strong he is in the relationship, at least he will slow down when he sees me begging for mercy, instead of acting like a tyrant in sex.

Once the pleasure was too much, it turned into pain. I seemed to be soaked in thick honey, and I was about to drown miserably in his arms.

The body is still in the refractory period, the genitals are not erected, but because the nipples are being played, they are stimulated to orgasm again.There was electricity running through my lower body, and I was shaking all over as the semen flowed through the mouth of the bell, giving me the illusion that I was completely broken.

"Junyan... I love you." Song Cheng called my name, clasped my waist tightly, and breathed hot breath against my ear, and there was a kind of despair in his tone, "As long as you want, I will do anything I can do anything for you."

It seemed absurd to reveal his heart at this time, he probably knew about it, his eyes were a little moist, and he still repeated it in a low voice over and over again.

"Love me more, please."