effective gentle

The author has something to say: I didn’t write about the peak period in detail: first, I was afraid that the length would be too long, and I was afraid that you would not be able to bear it psychologically, so you dare not write more; I want to die every day.

Lin Zhishen took Rong Xiao to see Dr. Su, who said that his condition would reach a peak and then decline.

During that time, Rong Xiao chose to eat dinner early and go to bed early to reduce the torment caused by anxiety and relieve the tension in the body.

Many film and television programs will stimulate him.He can only watch the old TV series adapted from the four famous novels to divert his attention, which is somewhat useful.

He couldn't do without Lin Zhishen, as long as he woke up in the morning and found that Lin Zhishen was not around, he would go downstairs to look for him, feeling very insecure.

He became a little bit like a child, unable to take care of himself, and unable to take a step away from his boyfriend.

They will go back to Rong's house for a weekend after a while.Lin Zhishen thought it was necessary.

During dinner, Father Rong saw that Rong Xiao's hands were shaking badly, and said, "Don't shake your hands."

Rong Xiao explained that Dad Rong didn't understand or something, and he had to talk about it every time he ate.

Lin Zhishen finally couldn't help it anymore, "Uncle, his hands are shaking because he took too much medicine, and it's not because he wants to shake, so he can't control it."

Dad never said it again.

Rong Xiao's uncle came to visit the next day, and after learning about the situation, he enlightened Rong Xiao: "You have to be tolerant and forgive all those who have hurt you, and you have to be considerate of your parents, they are not easy."

Rong Xiao was quite calm at first, but when stimulated by these words, he immediately became excited.

"What do you mean I have to be tolerant? I want to forgive those who bully me on campus? I have to forgive someone who harassed me and followed me? You don't understand this disease at all, can you say a few words less?"

The uncle said: "I don't understand this disease, and I can't understand you, but you must be tolerant, and you must be kind to your parents and others."

"I can't even control myself now, you want me to forgive those who hurt me? Did those people treat me kindly?" Rong Xiao replied, "Or do you think that I am the reincarnation of a Bodhisattva?"

Lin Zhishen got a headache when he heard it, "It's already very difficult for him to treat his illness. Elders, can you make less trouble? Xiaoxiao seldom loses control in my house."

His uncle's words can't be said to be a big problem if he said them normally, but now that his words hit Rong Xiao's muzzle, even Lin Zhishen felt his blood pressure soar when Rong Xiao replaced him.

Lin Zhishen thought, it would be better to take Rong Xiao back less recently.Parents and relatives can't understand, it will only make the condition worse.

Because Rong Xiao was still in pain and had a strong desire to commit suicide, the doctor suggested psychological counseling, once a week, eight times in a row.

They went, but with little effect.

Rong Xiao said that it was not chicken soup for the soul, the doctor would keep asking him all the details of his being bullied on campus.He doesn't want to think about it, and he has to think about it.

Every time he sits in the consulting room, he suffers from time, and every minute and every second is very tormented.

As the doctor said, Rong Xiao's condition is gradually reaching its peak.

He was so anxious that he couldn't do anything, the most he could do was to force himself to write some articles like opening reports every day.

Lin Zhishen took him out frequently, at the most exaggerated time, he went out three times a day, but every time he was halfway through playing, he started to get anxious.

He can get anxious anytime.

He likes to drive, and he likes to drive on a smooth road, preferably never stop.Lin Zhishen drove to the suburbs with few traffic lights.

They have also taken the subway without a destination, traveled far away, and then returned.

Lin Zhishen was most powerless at that time, medicine was useless, psychological counseling was useless, going out to play was useless, Rong Xiao was anxious all the time, her heart seemed to be on fire.

Rong Xiao said: "You will never experience that feeling. As soon as you open your eyes, anxiety and pain will haunt you. As long as you are awake, you will be in a state of extreme tension and panic. This is not the world. This is hell."

In addition, his language expression ability is also weakening. He may want to type a text, but because he cannot express the meaning accurately, he has to give up in the end.

He wanted to talk to Lin Zhishen, but he didn't know what to say, and couldn't express himself freely, so he fell silent a lot.

His thinking is linear, and the thesis cannot be written at the level it should be. It is blunt and illogical.Lin Zhishen helped him revise according to the teacher's suggestion.

Their school does not require a graduation project, only a graduation thesis.

Lin Zhishen said: "You don't have to force yourself, I know it's difficult for you to think now. If you can't write it, I'll help you write some big papers."

"I don't want it, you have worked too hard." This is what Rong Xiao said with the little clarity left.

The Lin family usually doesn't bother them, and they don't dare to talk too much, because they don't understand the disease.

One day after dinner, Mama Lin talked to Rong Xiao, it took Rong Xiao a long time to react, she was very slow, her eyes seemed to be carved out of wood, without any aura.

And his hands were shaking all the time.

Mama Lin was frightened.

Rong Xiao became lifeless.As soon as he goes out, others can immediately see that this person is not normal.

However, this is only a quiet time, and there are also emotional outbursts.He was tortured by this disease to the point that he wanted to leave the world every day, life would be better than death.

"I don't want to see this kind of person who is neither human nor ghost! I've had enough of this torture! As long as I'm awake, I feel that someone is going to kill me! Why won't they let me go, it keeps lingering in my mind... ..."

Lin Zhishen hugged him tightly, and comforted him: "Be patient, okay? The doctor said that after the peak period, you will be better. After the peak period..."

"When is the peak period?! Why hasn't it reached the peak period yet?! Why is this level not yet the peak period?!" He was devastated.

Later, there was really no other way, Lin Zhishen took him out for a walk, and he finally calmed down a bit.

The closer he was to the peak period, the worse he was. It wasn't because he wanted to die, but because he yearned for it, thinking that it was his relief.

Every time Rong's parents came to see him, they didn't dare to talk too much, for fear of irritating him - once they spoke, the probability of irritating Rong Xiao was very high.

Lin Zhishen would tell him every day: "I chose to take care of you. If something happens to you, your parents will blame me, so don't make dangerous moves."

It's not because of this that he has worries about the future, he just hopes that Rong Xiao will have some scruples.

In fact, the thing that moved Lin Zhishen the most was that even Rong Xiao was so ill, he would still be afraid of this sentence, and still wanted to protect him.

Lin Zhishen listened to his parents and took him on a short trip to a nearby city to distract him, but he had to go back to Area B every Monday to continue counseling.

This was the darkest half year in Rong Xiao's memory. It was so dark that when he thought about it later, he could only remember some fragments, because he was repeating the same life every day, worrying about it from morning to night, unable to remember other details. .

He only remembers it clearly, it was very painful, but Lin Zhishen has been guarding him, never leaving.

He supported Lin Zhishen.

At the end of the year, they returned to school to participate in the opening defense.The defense teachers probably learned about Rong Xiao's situation from the counselor, so they didn't make things difficult for him.

After that day, Rong Xiao gradually recovered.

At first, he felt that he had half an hour a day without anxiety, and then gradually it was one hour, two hours... the time was getting longer and longer.

He told Lin Zhishen that Lin Zhishen's first reaction was that he finally got over it.

Lin Zhishen still took him to exercise every day, never missing a day.Every time I go to the hospital, the experts have to emphasize that I keep exercising-it does have a certain effect on relieving anxiety.

During the Chinese New Year, Rong Xiao also spent at Lin's house.On the second day of the first lunar month, the Lin family invited his parents over.

Before eating, the two families sat on the sofa and chatted.Rong's parents expressed their gratitude to their family members.

Lin's mother said: "Our family didn't help much. It was Xiaoshen who was very persistent, and Xiaoxiao herself had the perseverance to carry it through. We were also worried that he would not get better."

"Is Xiaoxiao getting a little fatter?" Rong's mother asked.

Lin Zhishen said: "Side effects of psychotropic drugs, he is so good and well-proportioned now, he was too thin before."

Because of exercising every day, Rong Xiao's weight did not increase exaggeratedly.But at this moment, he discovered that Lin Zhishen had lost a lot of weight, and he must have been under too much pressure.

Rong's mother looked at Rong Xiao: "You just want to be happy. After you get sick, we dare not ask for anything else. As long as you live well, we can do anything."

"Get well soon, your mother and I are not in the mood for work or life during this time. No matter what, you are our child." Father Rong said.

After the meal, the elders continued to chat, and the younger generations were asked to go back to the house to play by themselves.

"Brother Shen, thank you." Rong Xiao turned around and hugged him after returning to the room.

"Why did you suddenly think of saying this?"

"Thank you for not giving up on me and staying by my side without hesitation."

Lin Zhishen patted him on the back, "Then you are really getting better, and you will think of thanking me now. The efforts we have made are all worthwhile, and everything will get better in the new year."

The new semester begins, and they attend classes as normal.The counselor specifically told Rong Xiao that if he is not in good health, he can ask for leave at any time.

They are the only ones in their dormitory who choose to attend classes in the next semester, so they live a cleaner life.

Rong Xiao's physical condition is getting better little by little. At first, she was still easily triggered to be anxious, but by June, it tended to be stable, and all kinds of desires were awakening.

During this time, the doctor reduced his medication, and said that if his physical condition stabilized, the medication would be reduced again later.

After reducing the medicine, many physiological reactions were relieved, such as hand shaking, and he drank a lot less water, but he still wanted to eat watermelon.

He gradually returned to his previous appearance, smart and indifferent, maverick, but very clingy when facing his boyfriend.

He has mood swings at times, but most of the time he's pretty steady.Even if he is still taking medicine, no one can see that he is sick.

One evening after graduation, the whole Lin family went hiking together. He saw through the window in front of the house at the foot of the mountain, two children were chasing after him, and the old man was sitting leisurely.

The sky is still bright and blue, the clouds are light, the bamboo forest is deep, and the stream is gurgling. Everything is the most simple appearance of life.

They went to SK Island in mid-July and brought their families with them. Lin Qingqing also clamored to come and volunteered to be the photographer.

The pair of rings were designed by Mama Lin, with each other's initials engraved inside.

They posted a few photos of two people in black and white suits, as well as photos of certificates and rings in the circle of friends, and set the sharing range.

A college classmate commented: "No, you haven't moved for a year, and you got a certificate every time you showed up?"

Everyone was shocked.

They didn't send out a set of photos, they kept them privately - the water was up to waist, Lin Zhishen hugged Rong Xiao and kissed, water droplets slid down their hair ends and faces.

The photos are particularly desirable, from evening to sunset.

At the end of August, they moved into a flat in M ​​City, which was near Lin Zhishen's studio.Just like they dreamed before, comfortable and clean, just right for two people to live in.

Rong Xiao also told Lin Zhishen that he wanted to put a few pots of green plants on the windowsill, and there was a knock on the door of the house.

He opened the door, and Bai Xun was standing outside with a watermelon in his arms, and said to him, "I'll give you one."

"Why are you here?" Rong Xiao asked in surprise after taking it. He had heard from Bai Xun that he planned to go home and look for a job.

"I live across the street from your house, and I share the rent with Lin Chang. In the end, I still want to start a studio with my friends." Bai Xun patted the melon in his arms, and said with a smile, "Is it surprising? From now on, we will be colleagues and friends." Neighbor."

Rong Xiao didn't pay much attention to the affairs of the studio, but he knew that Lin Zhishen and his friends were doing related things before they graduated.Because of his illness, Lin Zhishen participated online.

Before you know it, it's all set up.Their work efficiency is really high.

The house rented by several other people is not in this community, but it is also nearby.

One afternoon, they went to the studio to have a look, and they wanted to discuss something by the way.Rong Xiao was a little tired after staying for a long time, Lin Zhishen asked him to go to the small room to lie down for a while.

The room was quiet, with a pull-out sofa and coffee table, and a rocking chair by the window.

Rong Xiao squinted on the rocking chair for a while, listening to the slight "creak creak" sound.

After an unknown amount of time, he opened his eyes, and the sun in the evening of August was gentle.He stretched out a hand and felt the shape of the sun.

He thought, what is life?

Life is the journey from first opening of eyes to death.Some people want to see the changes of the times, but they stop at accidents and diseases;

I have to admit that fate is eccentric.

Maybe you can hate that this world is not gentle and unfair, but there are always people and things worth looking forward to, which make up the light in your life.

The meaning of life may not lie in trying your best to get something, but that you can be calm and at ease in this long river, with love in your heart.

Lin Zhishen gently pushed the door open, and after seeing him wake up, he turned the car keys in his hand, "Xiaoxiao, I'll treat you later, you decide what to eat."

"Focus on sex and despise friends." Lin Chang said from behind, "Is there anyone like you?"

Bai Xun poked his head out, "Xiaoxiao, hurry up, let's go together."