madness

Su Zhiyun picked up a fallen leaf on the ground, it was already golden yellow, and when facing the light, the veins could be clearly seen, and even the fingertips were turned pink by the sunlight.

It rained heavily in City A last night, and there were many puddles on the ground, and the leaves were also wet, with a layer of wet dust on your fingers, and when you got off the car, you could feel the coolness spreading, blowing away a lot The sultry heat and turbidity brought about by staying in the train workshop.

Su Zhiyun was a little motion sick, chest tight and dizzy, Lele was more serious than him, vomiting and diarrhea, and very listless.

Gu Zehuan, the only one who was not affected, just walked over from the vending machine and handed Su Zhiyun a bottle of Coke.

Su Zhiyun was still twirling the fallen leaf he picked up on the road, and it took a while before he saw the Coke handed to him.

The cold aluminum can made his palms ache from the cold, he pulled the tab and took a sip, the carbonated drink shattered quickly in his throat with a loud noise: "Is it almost autumn?"

Su Zhiyun turned the golden fallen leaves in his hands, his pale fingers were wet with dew, like a curled up plant.

Gu Zehuan said: "School will start in a few days."

Hearing this, Su Zhiyun didn't open his mouth for a long time, the noise of people around him poured into his ears little by little, he crushed the fallen leaves, and when he let go of his hand, the residue fell like dust.

"Let's go."

The sky in summer is always very different from that in autumn. The sky in autumn is more comfortable and clear, without such a warm and beautiful blue.

The sky is bright and warm, just looking up for a while will be pierced by the sun so that you can't keep your eyes open.

Lele seemed to have regained her strength. She stuck out her tongue to lick Su Zhiyun's coke-stained fingers, shook her head, and made a rustling sound in the bag with her tail sweeping.

He put his schoolbag back on his back and packed his luggage: "The car should be here soon."

……

The two of them returned to City A again. It had been a few days since they left school, and Gu Zehuan almost devoted all his time and energy to the urgent review.

The shadows of the trees dance outside the window in summer, and the afternoon sun is lazy golden yellow.

Su Zhiyun was playing with the dog boredly, holding the puppy by its two front legs and lifting it up. Lele was afraid of heights, so he kept whining and howling, his tail was clamped tightly, and his legs were still trembling.

Su Zhiyun stretched out his hand and pinched its nose, and heard someone calling his name downstairs.

He opened the curtains and looked for the sound, and saw the girl with ponytail standing under the greenery, with a bowl of mung bean paste on the wooden table in front of her, beckoning to him with crooked eyes.

"good afternoon."

Cui Qingqing's vivid eyebrows stretched in the wind, and Su Zhiyun's hair curled up disheveledly due to friction on the bed. After a while, he blinked lightly—"Good afternoon."

"I'm sorry, but I'm still looking for you at this time. You weren't sleeping just now, were you?"

Cui Qingqing, who was sitting in front of the stall, touched her nose, looking a little guilty.

Su Zhiyun's eyelashes were half drooping, and after a while, he shook his head slightly: "No."

After he finished speaking, he didn't intend to continue to talk about the topic, and stirred the mung bean porridge in front of him.

The girl also drank the porridge silently. After a few sips, she couldn't help raising her head to look at him quietly. Su Zhiyun seemed to be thinner and taller than before, with pale face and pale lips. She was wearing black long sleeves and long sleeves. The trousers seem to blend in with the mottled tree shadows in midsummer.

After observing Su Zhiyun carefully for a long time, Cui Qingqing said cautiously: "I came to you today because I want to talk about something about Gu Zehuan."

The sun was shining, and Su Zhiyun's slender and cold fingers holding the spoon added a large spoonful of sugar to the bowl.

"I do not want to know."

Su Zhiyun's refusal was straightforward and decisive, without any sympathy.

Unexpectedly, the other party would refuse so directly, Cui Qingqing's expression suddenly froze.

"But……"

The young man couldn't grasp the dosage well, and accidentally put too much sugar in the porridge. He felt that it was a little weirdly sweet, and it was so sticky that it couldn't melt away even if it stuck on the tip of his tongue.

But he still swallowed it down and ate it clean.

"Whatever you want to say, it's not what I want to hear."

"You really don't want to hear it at all?" Cui Qingqing's face was not so good-looking. She subconsciously stood up and leaned over, and blurted out: "Do you know who sent those letters from Gu Zehuan's house? That's what he said before." She intervened in the couple as a mistress, and then turned around and left without hesitation. That's why the girl kept writing to him hoping to hear an explanation, but he didn't care about it. She couldn't stand the blow and committed suicide by cutting her wrist some time ago. But even so, Gu Zehuan didn't go over to take a look."

The girl's palm was soft and hot, and it was coated with a layer of shiny armor polish. It was also clean and white on the dilapidated wooden table, like a precious and fragile item placed in a glass window.

Su Zhiyun's voice was so soft that Cui Qingqing wondered if she heard it wrong.

"so what?"

His rhetorical question even seemed a little puzzled and confused, as if he was sincerely confused by Cui Qingqing's indignation and dissatisfaction, and couldn't understand it.

Cui Qingqing couldn't believe Su Zhiyun's almost casual and indifferent attitude: "Su Zhiyun, don't you understand? This is no longer a simple moral issue. Gu Zehuan doesn't even have the most basic empathy. How did he get those injuries on his body, why do you think he always disappears, it's all because you were fighting for him, and he was flirting with other people when he was injured."

"I investigated the matter about Gu Zehuan. This is not the first time he has done this. Even his stepfather's daughter committed suicide by jumping off a building because of him. But it has been so long, and he has shown a little sadness from the beginning to the end. ?"

"Gu Zehuan doesn't even..."

There were not many people at the food stall, when the wind picked up, a small white flower blew down, and it landed unsteadily, floating on the dark green porridge surface, swaying like a boat.

Su Zhiyun blew the little flower down, and he said, "I don't care."

Cui Qingqing's eloquence came to an abrupt end, she couldn't believe it, her complexion turned pale.

Su Zhiyun didn't seem to notice her surprise and perplexity at all, and just said to himself: "I know what he looks like, but it doesn't matter, I don't hate what you said, his shortcomings - despicable, indecent , cold-blooded, ruthless, and corrupt."

Hearing this answer, Cui Qingqing was also silent. She was speechless. After a long time, she asked back with a pale face: "Do you think there is really a difference between you and those people? You like him, but does he like you?"

"You're killing yourself."

The ants came looking for sweetness, and walked around beside the small porcelain jar filled with white sugar. Su Zhiyun didn't answer this question. He stood up and left a stack of change on the table: "I'm going first."

Cui Qingqing held him back, and still asked stubbornly: "What if I have to make you choose between me and Gu Zehuan?"

"That choice can't be you."

Because of this unhesitating answer, the girl's eyes suddenly turned red, and she almost gritted her teeth and asked: "Su Zhiyun, are you really unwilling to leave him? Even if it may make you become like those who like Gu Zehuan A hopelessly lunatic?"

"Do you think he'll be with you forever? Do you think that's really possible?"

"Impossible, he will leave you sooner or later, he will..."

There was a loud "bang", Su Zhiyun kicked the table over, the porcelain bowl shattered to the ground, and countless snow-white lotus flowers bloomed suddenly.

He clenched Cui Qingqing's collar, stared at the other party, and said nothing, after a while, the people around gradually gathered and became more and more, whispering voices also began to increase.

Only then did Su Zhiyun let go of his hand, turned and left.

The back of the girl's hand was scalded by the hot porridge that was just overturned, and it was red all over. She clenched her palm tightly as if she couldn't feel the pain, and her voice was very soft, almost talking to herself: "You said you don't care, But I don't want you to be like that."

"Even if I make you hate me, I can't make you become a lunatic for Gu Zehuan like everyone else."

……

Su Zhiyun walked through the old stairs, the door was not closed, half-closed, and the sound of the TV leaked out. He pushed the door and entered, and saw Gu Zehuan sitting in front of the coffee table, slowly peeling the orange in his hand, Lele nestled in the In his arms, he was gnawing on the molar stick with his teeth.

Gu Zehuan didn't ask where Su Zhiyun was, he stroked the back of the puppy in his arms, and his movements were unhurried.

Su Zhiyun walked over and hugged him tightly without saying a word. Although Su Zhiyun didn't speak, some gloomy emotions subtly emanated from him.

He looked unhappy, even a little restless.

The half-peeled orange fell to the ground, stained with dust, and Gululu rolled aside.

Lele struggled to crawl out from the gap between the two of them, and crawled aside to gnaw on the molar stick with relish.

Su Zhiyun buried his head in Gu Zehuan's neck, smelling the warm milky smell on Gu Zehuan's collar.

This smell is very familiar, and it is often found on the puppy Lele. Gu Zehuan has been with him for a long time, and his body is also contaminated with this smell, and he can't wash it off.

Su Zhiyun said softly, "Will you go?"

so quiet.

Gu Zehuan didn't answer him.

Su Zhiyun, who couldn't get an answer, repeated stubbornly again: "Gu Zehuan, will you go?"

The heartbeat of the other party can be clearly heard in the ear, and the boy's body temperature seeps slowly through the thin layer of fabric, warm and lively.

But Su Zhiyun suddenly felt cold, as if the person in front of him couldn't hug or close him. He lowered his head and kissed Gu Zehuan's ear, kissing it as warm as body temperature, and said alone: ​​"It doesn't matter if you go, I will find you, Then find a way to make you never go again, we will stay together until I die, or I can no longer get close to you."

The goldfish on the TV screen fell to the ground together with the fish tank and was broken. It was scarred by sharp fragments and oozes bright red blood, but it struggled uselessly on the floor. The bright red was diluted by tap water and flowed towards them like a stream. come.

Gu Zehuan asked: "Make me unable to leave again? What method are you going to use?"

Su Zhiyun still buried her head in his neck: "I'm not smart enough to think of other ways."

Although Su Zhiyun didn't point it out, Gu Zehuan still guessed it, and he suddenly smiled.

"You want to kill me?"

His fingers were very cold. He slid up Su Zhiyun's back, rolled over his shoulder blades, and slowly stroked them. He unbuttoned the wooden buttons one by one and scratched the scars on his skin: "Actually, you and Tang Hong is very similar, he has a strong desire to possess, even destroy, what he likes."

"But it's different. Tang Hong is your teacher. He is very courageous and is not afraid of anything."

He raised his head slowly, revealing black eyes from bottom to top.

"You are a coward."

Su Zhiyun lowered his head and kissed his plump, dream-provoking lips, biting the wound with some sense of revenge, until he tasted the smell of blood, and finally licked off the sweet taste little by little.

"I'll do it, because I've had a long time, and I'm not going to be timid and cowardly and afraid to go forever."

"But you are different from me. You will never be timid, cowardly, or afraid, so you will not take the initiative or shrink back. You will just wait for me to come to you one day and fulfill my promise."

Gu Zehuan said: "If you can really kill me, it would be a surprise to me."

Su Zhiyun lowered his head and kissed his eyes, there was fishy smell and steaming moisture in the kiss.

"It's because you look down on me too much. In fact, I have always been a good student and I am very good at learning."

He asked again, "So are you going?"

Gu Zehuan lit a cigarette, he took a slow puff, and then exhaled the mist: "See what you can come up with."

"If someone wants me to leave you and can give me what I want, why don't I do it?"

Su Zhiyun looked at him for a while, then he reached out his hand to snuff out the cigarette, and the flame died out in the dark night.

"I don't know what you want, I can't get it out."

"So in order to prevent you from leaving me, I should kill you now, right?"

Gu Ze laughed happily, his eyes and collarbone were filled with honey, so sweet that people wanted to kiss and kiss.

"exactly."

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